Survival Instincts, page 29
“Yeah.” That one word, said softly, was the only reply, but it was a clear answer.
Lynn got up right away. She gathered her knife and tomahawk as well as her blanket.
Dani scooted toward the wall to make room on the bedding and lifted her blanket to allow Lynn under it.
Heat radiated off Dani’s body as Lynn settled against her from behind. She put her weapons above her head, then wrapped her arm around Dani’s waist. After Dani got her hair out of the way, Lynn laid her head down and smiled. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah.” It seemed Dani had been reduced to one-word replies. She was also much more tense than she’d been two nights ago, but her heartbeat was steady and her breathing slow.
“Sleep well,” Lynn whispered. “Don’t think about anything right now. That’s for later.”
Dani nodded, and the tension receded from her muscles. “Yeah.”
Lynn couldn’t help but chuckle. “Can you say anything else?”
“Yeah.” This time, there was a small smile in her voice.
“Good.” Lynn kissed her shoulder instinctively. “I look forward to hearing more words tomorrow. Now sleep.”
Dani exhaled slowly and slid her arm over Lynn’s, then covered her hand with hers. She weaved their fingers together and gave a soft squeeze. “You make me very confused.”
Even so close to Dani, Lynn had to struggle to hear her. She swallowed. “Trust me,” she said just a hint more loudly than Dani. “I came into New York convinced I’d never let another person close ever again, and here I am, holding you, having kissed you, hoping you’ll come with me because I like being with you and…and I think life will be better with you. If anyone’s confused, it’s me.”
Dani squeezed her hand again. “Thank you. That helps.”
Lynn frowned. “Why?”
“Because you seem to have this all figured out.”
Lynn laughed and pushed up so she could try to get a glimpse of Dani’s face. “Are you kidding me? I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing, and I’m terrified!” She couldn’t help laughing. How could Dani think she had a handle on all of this? “I have been on my own for years. Before you, I’d never even kissed anyone. Not like that. I’ve definitely never asked anyone to come with me. I have absolutely nothing figured out. I’m just hoping at one point it’ll all come together, and it’ll be good.”
Dani turned around so she could face her in the near dark. So close, Lynn could see that her eyes were shiny and wet. “You’ve never kissed anyone before?”
“That’s what you got out of that?” Lynn squinted at her.
Dani pushed her face against Lynn’s chest. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just… That’s special.”
Lynn hesitated before cupping the back of Dani’s head and lightly scratching her scalp. She remembered how that soothed Dani. It didn’t fail to do so now. “Why is it special?”
Dani shrugged. “Because.”
Lynn tapped Dani’s head with her index finger. “Bad answer.”
“Because…I think…you trust me.”
Now it was Lynn’s turn to tense. Her suddenly frantic mind raced. Was it true? Could she admit that? What would it mean if she did? “I do.” The whispered words clawed their way out of her almost constricted throat. It wasn’t a hundred percent trust—Lynn doubted she was even capable of that—but she trusted Dani as much as she could. Deep down, she had known that, and it terrified her.
“Your heartbeat went wild.” Dani shifted her head against her chest to listen better. “Are you scared?”
“Yes.” She inhaled shakily. “Say something.”
“I trust you, too.”
The whispered words reverberated through Lynn’s chest, setting her on fire from head to toe and likewise chilling her entire body as if ice-cold water pushed through her veins.
“Now your heartbeat really went wild.” Dani sounded bemused.
Lynn just held on to the back of her head like a tether. She tried to find words in the sea of frantic thoughts raging through her mind. “I don’t trust people.” She barely recognized her voice, it was so hoarse. “And no one trusts me. That’s always been safer.”
Dani wrapped her arm around Lynn’s waist and pulled herself closer. “Haven’t you been lonely?”
The words hit like a sledgehammer. Combined with the warm hold, Dani’s breath on her chest, and her own fears, they caused tears to well up in her eyes. “Yes.” She curled herself a bit more securely around Dani’s body and rested her chin on the top of Dani’s head.
Dani’s hold intensified. “Then this is better.”
“Not if you leave. Then it’s horrible.”
Dani’s fingers played along her spine. “You could stay with us. We could do Richard’s job together. It would fix it all: it would be safer, you wouldn’t have to deal with the Homesteaders much and…and we’d be together.”
Lynn inhaled Dani’s comforting scent. “I don’t know.” She didn’t know anything right now, but some weight did lift from her chest as Dani’s words seeped slowly into her fried brain. If things didn’t work out, she could leave—or escape, if the Homesteaders took her captive again—and Dani would still be safe. On the other hand, it meant settling down and opening herself to loss again. “I don’t know.” The repeated words came out broken.
Dani shifted and tilted her head up.
Warm lips connected with hers, then parted. Lynn whimpered and gripped Dani’s hair as she instantly searched for her tongue. Kissing Dani had chased away all her fears, all her worries, all her thoughts. She needed that more than ever right now.
Dani shuddered. She met Lynn’s tongue with a huff of breath, gripped her shirt with both hands, and pulled it up a few inches.
Lynn moved on instinct. She pushed against Dani’s mouth, searching for a revelation that would soothe her racing mind. Her tongue stroked with far less coordination than this afternoon. She wasn’t merely experiencing now or trying to prove herself—this was a hunt for either clarity or oblivion.
Dani hooked her leg behind Lynn’s knee and connected them more fully—breasts, bellies, sexes. She tilted her head to deepen the kiss.
Lynn hummed as heat pooled low in her gut, goading her on. Still she couldn’t stop analyzing what was happening. Every one of Dani’s movements was noted and logged, along with every move she made herself. Every sound, every reaction, every emotion. Analyze, analyze, analyze. She groaned and rolled Dani onto her back, settling half on top of her, then hissed as pain seared through her injured arm. Dammit! She needed to get her weight off that arm and onto the other—which meant covering Dani’s body with her own. So she did.
Dani gripped her hips and pushed into her body, rolling against it with a deep moan. They barely broke apart in their kisses, but whenever they did, Dani pushed back up to connect them again, apparently not content to be a passive participant anymore.
Lynn pressed her thigh between Dani’s legs and was rewarded with a sound that was a mixture between a hiss and a moan. It quieted her mind for a few seconds. As soon as the thoughts came rolling back, she rolled her hips again.
Dani’s nails dug into her skin. “L-Ly—”
Lynn interrupted her with another kiss. She cupped the side of her neck and lightly scraped her skin.
Dani moaned and stopped trying to talk. Instead, she bucked up against Lynn’s thigh and pulled her down onto hers.
Now Lynn understood the hiss and moan combination; the sound tore from her own throat the second pleasure buzzed through her. She chased the feeling with another kiss, another buck of her hips, another roll of her body with muscles that fought every movement. She didn’t care how tired or sore she was; her mind was going quiet, and Dani was urging her on.
The covers had fallen off. Cool air hit her overheating skin as Dani let go of her hips to pull her shirt up as far as it would go without Lynn shifting. Her hands roamed and examined the evidence of burns, cuts, bites, and the remnants of a whole slew of accidents.
Lynn shivered. The constant rolling of their hips created waves of pleasure that increased in power every time Dani’s thigh pushed against her throbbing sex. But something else was building too: a counterwave Lynn couldn’t name but that swelled until it drowned out everything else. She whimpered against Dani’s lips.
Dani’s hands slid up to her shoulder blades and guided her down into a hug.
Lynn buried her face against the crook of Dani’s neck.
“Shhhh.” Dani stroked the back of her head. “I-It’s okay.” She was breathless, her voice deep, but her tone was soothing.
It was only then Lynn realized she was crying. Oh shit! How long have I— She hurriedly pushed up, but Dani trapped her by the back of her neck.
“Don’t. S-Stay.” She ran her nails gently over the skin of Lynn’s neck, causing the small hairs there to stand on end.
Lynn’s body buzzed with need, shook with sobs, and she gave in to the need to be held. She wasn’t even sure what she was letting out, but now that the dams had been breached, there was no stopping the flood. She sagged onto Dani’s body and let her wrap her arms and a leg around her as she cried herself empty. It took an embarrassingly long time. Whenever she thought she was done, she remembered her dad, felt some sort of pain or ache that reminded her of how fucked up her life was, or Dani did something such as kiss her shoulder or massage the back of her neck, setting her off again. Finally, not even Dani’s kindness could coax more tears out of her; she was spent.
“Wow.” Dani gathered Lynn’s hair and guided it aside so she could trace the shell of her ear. “Better?”
Lynn did feel much lighter, as if she were floating, but she was also embarrassed beyond anything, and she had a skull-splitting headache. Better was not an accurate description. She really wanted to pull away, but it would take too much energy, so she buried her face deeper against the crook of Dani’s neck.
Dani stroked her hair and rested her cheek against the side of her head. She shifted lightly to get comfortable. “Better?” Dani wanted an answer—deserved an answer.
“Dunno.” She sniffed as watery snot threatened to drip from her nose, onto Dani’s neck. “S-Sorry.”
Dani hummed and kissed the shell of her ear—seemingly the only skin within reach. “You did the same for me, and you were cool about it. It’s good you let it out.”
Lynn frowned, but gathering enough energy to object was a struggle. “About what h-happened. The crying too, but…us.”
Dani was silent for a few seconds. “What exactly are you sorry about?”
The insecurity that snuck into her tone gave Lynn the strength to move. She settled onto her side, still mostly covering Dani, and lifted her head. Her headache dizzied her. She squinted until the pain faded enough to focus again. “Not that it happened,” she said softly.
Dani looked at her, then reached out and stroked her cheek with the back of her fingers, either to brush away tears or simply to touch; Lynn couldn’t tell. She held her gaze.
“That…that I have no idea what I’m doing. That it stopped. That—”
Dani kissed her again, softly this time. No tongue, just a press of lips.
Lynn relaxed instantly and leaned into the touch just enough to show she was a willing participant.
When Dani pulled away, she met her eyes.
“I know this is hard,” Dani said.
“This?” Lynn swallowed. Her arm trembled as she put weight on it to hold herself up.
“Being open.” Dani continued to examine her. “You haven’t done that for a long time.”
Lynn took a shuddering breath and looked away. Her cheeks burned even hotter than before.
Dani gently guided her head back until Lynn was forced to meet her eyes again in the near dark.
Whatever was hidden in the depths of Dani’s eyes, Lynn couldn’t decipher. She wanted to avert her gaze, but Dani’s fingers on her cheek held her in place.
Dani smiled.
Lynn smiled back. Group by group, her muscles relaxed. She exhaled, and her gaze dipped down to Dani’s lips. She kissed them softly.
Dani smiled into the touch and ran her fingertips along her jaw. “Better?”
“Yes.” Not anywhere near good, but better; her fears and confusion still filled her stomach, making her a little nauseous, but she was calm again. And tired.
“Good. Then let’s sleep. We’ll need our energy tomorrow.”
The words were sobering. Tomorrow they would be pulling a cart with a body down a road that was hard to traverse under the best of circumstances, all the while running the risk of getting pounced on by every predator in the area. Lynn wrapped her arm around Dani’s waist and pulled her in protectively as she pressed their foreheads together. “This is exactly what I didn’t want to have happen.”
“What?”
Lynn leaned into Dani’s warm hand on her cheek. “To worry about losing you now that we’re reaching the part where we’ll likely get killed.”
Dani shook her head. “We’re not going to die.”
“Liar.” Lynn was only partly joking.
“I’m not. You’re an expert in surviving out here, and I am a good hunter. We’ve already proven we can work together and survive things that should have killed us. I’m not going to let you die, and you’re not going to let me die either, so that’s settled.” Dani sounded so confident.
Lynn wanted to believe her. She really did, but the odds were not in their favor.
“Stop worrying. Come on.” Dani shifted until Lynn could spoon her from behind.
Lynn molded herself to Dani’s body, staying as close as she could. She also pulled the blankets back up. They had switched places; Dani was on the outside now, Lynn up against the wall.
With great effort, she pushed up one more time to pull her weapons over to this side of the bedding, right above her head, then settled again.
Dani shifted until they were flush. “Sleep well.”
Lynn nuzzled against the back of her neck, into Dani’s hair. “You too.” She had no idea when Dani fell asleep, but Lynn was out like a light within seconds.
Lynn jolted awake. Something pressed against her back, and a weight around her waist held her down. A fleeting pressure and hot breath tickled along her shoulder, moving toward her neck. She gasped and bucked, trying to kick her way to freedom and wakefulness.
The pressure around her waist turned into a firm grip. It kept Lynn from twisting enough to grab a weapon. Shit, shit, shit!
“Lynn, it’s me! Dani!”
“Wha—?” Lynn blinked but stopped moving. Her mind clawed to wakefulness enough to remember where she was and with whom. She went limp.
Dani relaxed behind her and scooted back a bit.
Lynn took a deep breath to steady her racing heart. Fucking hell! This was not her favorite way to wake up. The whole night had been filled with nightmares of grave digging, being buried alive while maggots crawled over and under her skin, and hauling corpses from one location to the other. Being chewed on fitted right in. After a few seconds, she had herself under control enough to turn. She smiled apologetically and wrapped her arm around Dani’s waist to show she was okay with physical contact now. “S-Sorry. Habit.”
The pale morning light streamed in and revealed the worry in Dani’s eyes. “Sorry. I really didn’t mean to startle you. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Lynn nodded. “That was all on me. I’m used to waking up to things trying to take a bite out of me. I don’t usually sleep this deep, so I got all—” She made a gesture to indicate whatever it was she’d turned into upon waking.
“That’s okay. I get it.” Dani hesitated, then her gaze flickered to Lynn’s lips and she crossed the few inches between them to kiss her softly. “I’ll remember.”
Lynn relaxed and hummed into the soft contact. “Thanks.” Subject change. “Did you sleep well?”
Dani lay back down and nodded. She ran her fingers along Lynn’s arm, all the way from her shoulder to where Lynn had a loose hold of her waist. “Lots of dreams.”
Lynn sympathized. “About Richard?”
Dani shrugged. “About a lot of things. Mostly the deadly kind.”
Lynn squeezed her side. “Sorry. Do you know what always makes me feel better?”
“What?” Dani met her eyes curiously.
“Breakfast.”
Dani slapped her arm. “Impossible.” Her shoulders relaxed, though, and her newly acquired smile held.
“Sorry, I’m just that kind of girl.” Seeing Dani happier made Lynn feel better in turn. Her brain still felt sluggish, and her body was sore from all the heavy work she’d done yesterday, but once she got moving, she’d be fine.
Dani shook her head but cupped her cheek and kissed her again.
Lynn’s eyes fluttered shut. I could get used to this. The second the thought hit, reality crashed down again. Getting used to this was dangerous business. She pulled back and cleared her throat. “Could you find us something to eat? I’ll check around and get the fire going.” She sat up.
“I don’t want to get up. Once we get up, everything changes.”
Another nervous flutter filled Lynn’s belly. She met Dani’s gaze. “You can still reconsider. If we don’t go back to the Homestead, nothing changes. It’ll just be you, me, and Skeever.”
Dani groaned and turned her head so she could push her face into the bedding. “I can’t.”
