Rebellion in the Mist, page 25
So that was where the secret compartment was.
I wasn’t expecting it to be accessed from the outside. Honestly, that made more sense. I couldn’t imagine Aurora cutting the lining out and stitching it back in every time she wanted to access the book in front of me.
A book!
I scrambled over to it. It had no title on the front and was bound in brown leather with an embossed fox’s head on the cover. I opened it and immediately realized that this was Aurora’s diary. I flipped through a few pages.
Mother Creation, I wished I had this for the last seven weeks. It would have been a lot easier to imitate Aurora if I had access to her personal thoughts this whole time.
I started reading the diary there on the floor of my dressing chamber. It appeared that she’d started this journal right after her uncle died. She had been suspicious of the circumstances of his death, worried a plot was forming against Moriale. She suspected whoever took the seat of power would be in danger, and she wanted to keep a record of the events around her. She wasn’t sure who could be behind this, if it was someone within her family, a competing family in Moriale, the Empire, or another kingdom trying to arrange things to their benefit. She had the trunk with the secret compartment made by one of the few craftsmen she trusted.
Sitting there on the floor, I read through a fair portion of the diary. I was hungry for her words. I wanted to soak them in, and hearing her voice through this diary was the only way I could try to give her the respect I knew she deserved. To listen to what was important to her and carry that information back with me into the world. The diary made her feel so real to me, a friend I had never gotten to meet.
Holding it, I was reminded the dressing chamber I was sitting in was supposed to be Aurora's. The tragedy of her death battered me once again. The image of her body sinking to the bottom of the ocean alone was painful. I wouldn’t want that for anyone. She deserved to be buried, returned to Father Earth as we all should be. The tears rolled down my cheeks and dripped from my jaw to the rug beneath me on the floor.
I read a passage about how the Protectors stationed in Polis found an eight-year-old girl spending a coin from a purse that had recently been stolen from a visiting noble. She was buying a loaf of bread. The Protectors didn’t question the girl. They didn’t find out if she had stolen the purse or only found it.
They pulled her out of the bakery and killed her in the street.
Eight years old.
No Committee hearing.
No holding cell.
No chance.
This is what Committee Authority was being used for.
Aurora wrote letters to the Emperor to try to get him to answer for the actions of the Protectors. She got no response. Her men who went to Capital City on her behalf were dismissed on petition day because the nobles had taken up all the time allotted. They were given no special audience.
Their pleas went unheard.
There would never be any answering for that child’s life taken.
The Empire had been feeding me countless lies in the schools they told me I was so lucky to attend. I had always believed they gave everyone a chance. I believed that everyone’s parent could find work with the Empire if they were struggling, like mine had. I had always believed the Empire gave to its people and protected them, but in reality, it was taking everything. It was killing our children.
I slammed the book closed at the injustice of it. These lost lives. The girl. Countless other deaths like this plagued Moriale, mentioned in the letters in Jo’s room. I’m sure this happened in Decca and Solterra too.
The magic that was typically a gentle hum in my chest was rumbling throughout my body. Fire ignited along my arm, licking at the pain that festered inside me. I let it burn.
Aurora had been young, kind, and pure. She only wanted the best for her people. She was brave and strong. She was willing to give up her life, her freedom for the freedom of others. An idea I was far too weak to ever consider.
That passage was one of many about how the Protectors stationed in Polis treated the people of Moriale. Aurora tried to stand up to them and was ignored. She wanted the power to protect her people against the Emperor, who cared so little for the people of her land.
I was spying for the Empire to take down a rebellion that I could no longer deny needed to happen. All because I wanted to make it out of here. I wanted to keep from causing a wave that might prevent me from having peace. What was that peace worth now that my eyes were open to all these people who lived without it?
I snuffed the fire that had erupted from me and stood to try to step away from the unfairness in those pages—but no matter where I went, the words followed me, along with my own shame in the role I had taken in helping the Empire for so long.
Chapter thirty-five
Ileft my suite and dropped by the kitchens to acquire some snacks. The servants didn’t even question my request, despite having served a small feast to my room just hours before. I made my way to Sugardrop and got her ready to ride by myself.
“Do you feel like running, girl?” I patted her neck and handed her an apple.
She snorted, but my understanding of horse wasn't good enough to know if that was a yes or no. I guess I would find out. Sugardrop made it clear her answer was a no by refusing to do anything faster than an amble. That was fine, I got to enjoy the fresh breeze and the beauty around me on the journey.
We rode the trail I’d taken that day with Ameal and went back to the serene meadow in the mountain pass. I tied her to a tree, wandered far enough away from her, and ensured we were alone. My well of magic was brimming and wielding was slipping out of me far too frequently to ignore that any longer.
I stood at the edge of the little brook that meandered through the grasses and looked at my reflection in the water. I needed to calm my magic before I used it to be able to bend the elements to my will properly. I watched it, observing it, slowing my own breath to be in time with the water’s ripples over the stones at the bottom. I let myself be filled with its steady movement. The babble it made. The sun warmed my skin the same as the water would feel its rays on its surface. I let myself be consumed by the flow. Be engulfed by the sweet smell of wildflowers and grasses.
It washed away all the chaos and pain that surrounded me. I knew the Empire didn’t always act in the best interest of its citizens, but the rebels would surely cost lives for what might become a line in our history books. Had I already done too much damage to the rebellion by reporting to Lev all these weeks? Would it be my fault if it failed? Could I help in any meaningful way and still keep the lives of our crew safe?
I allowed the pressure burning inside me to come to the surface and merge with the flow from the water. I raised my hands and with them, all the water lifted from the bed of the stream for twenty feet on either side of me, the pleasant hum of wielding tingling through my fingertips. I pulled up the column of water to eye-level and looked through it, twisting the water to see it from every angle. Fish still swam through the waters. I could see the little trout skating back and forth, unimpressed by their sudden change in altitude.
I raised the water higher. I wanted to see how far I could push myself. It went up and up until the sun refracted through the clear stream, cascading tiny prisms of rainbows down around me. I let several portions of it down to the ground, creating clear archways across the meadow. I stepped under one, surprised at how easy this was. I should store up my magic for weeks at a time more often if it allowed me to make such beautiful displays without tiring me. Maybe it would be one of my plans after I was out of the Protectorate.
I gently brought all the water back to its channel and let it skitter over the smooth rocks once more. The meadow looked like it had when I first arrived, fish back to their normal lives. I wondered if the fishes’ experience was how this rebellion would feel to us. The world completely changed around me for a time at the hands of another, unsure what was going to happen next, if life would ever return to my familiar riverbed. Then, after a while, brought back to the life I’d always known as though it were nothing. No sign around me to even mark what had passed.
I played with the water some more, making rain showers in parts of meadow, waves in the creek, and little transparent walls around me until I felt empty.
I returned to Sugardrop to find that she had emptied my saddlebag by rubbing it against the tree during my absence. She was helping herself to all the apples when I walked up. I cleaned up our mess, shoving the half-eaten apples into the bag before heading out.
My head felt clearer now. My gut told me these were capable leaders and their cause was important. They would succeed despite me. I would have to spend my final week here doing as much as I could to aid their cause to try to make up for what I had done. I wasn’t exactly sure what I could do, but I would start with not reporting anything else important to Lev. I might have to invent some findings to keep everyone else safe, but I could handle that.
Sugardrop took her time heading back to the stables, and I didn't bother to hurry her. The magic I had released today had balanced me and leveled my emotions, as opposed to the drain I usually felt after.
We were just coming around a bend in the trail when I was confronted with the crunch of grass. The scuffle of dirt under heavy feet. A deep huff.
Fuck.
Sugardrop couldn’t stop her feet fast enough on this decline to keep us hidden from view. Standing ahead of us and blocking our path was a bear. It was so large. Staring directly at us. It stood on its hind legs.
I tried to remember what Lina said. I should try to look big, but I was already on the back of a horse—how much bigger could I get? Plus, from my point of view, the bear was winning the who’s bigger game.
Its snout twitched as a breeze blew the scent of the half-eaten apples toward the bear.
Double fuck.
It was surprised and hungry, two of the things Lina said were bad.
Sugardrop was nervously prancing her feet, wanting to get away. I couldn’t blame her, but I held her firm with the reins. I tried to slowly reach back and untie my bag from the saddle. I would just throw the food into the woods and hope the bear followed it.
Two much smaller bears appeared around the corner. Shit, worst-case scenario—a mother bear, protecting her cubs, who was also hungry and who I had surprised. I changed my mind, the food would not be a good enough distraction.
Mother blessed, I did not want this today, or really any day. The bears probably felt the same way.
I just wanted to get back down to the castle safely.
I blew out a slow breath and tried to assess my options. I did have knives on me, but I didn’t want to hurt them. They were just out here living their lives. Plus, those cubs were really cute, their ears looked so soft and round.
I also didn’t want them to hurt me. I hoped they couldn’t smell fear, because I knew I reeked of it.
I had my magic, even as diminished as it was after the meadow.
Magic, the obvious answer.
I pulled on the breeze blowing across the trail, the very one that had been betraying my bag of apples to the bears, and strengthened it. I pushed the air along the animals and toward the woods, trying to direct them into the trees. The mom got back down on all fours as the gentle breeze increased into a gust and began to press on her, but she didn’t move. I shoved harder with the wind, channeling more of myself into it and blowing fur on her side so aggressively, I could see where the hairs parted. The cubs were starting to act bothered by the wind, tripping and wiggling about, but didn’t seem to want to go without their mom.
Come on. Just move.
I flowed the magic out of me harder, pushing out all that I had left in me. I cursed the fact that I wasted so much energy playing with that water.
The mom bowed her head against the wind, pointing her nose into it, and looked even more agitated, but I could tell she was starting to question this standoff.
I plunged deeper into my magic, pulling from everywhere I could, but there was none left to give.
The well was empty. The constant, gentle hum was a faint tickle.
I was up against a wall, but the wall was starting to give. I tugged against it inside me, drawing on my magic unrelentingly.
Then it gave way.
My well of magic was no longer contained. Like a sudden crack of lightning unleashing a thunderstorm, my magic broke free and torrents of power were unleashed, flooding my body. I could pull in magic from my whole being, from the warmth of the sun dancing on my skin right out to the tips of my fingers. The hum started again, louder and more powerful.
I was inundated by a sudden burst of energy and a gale erupted all around us. Sugardrop and I were untouched, the air near us perfectly calm. Yet all around us, branches swayed, needles from trees sprayed across the ground. The boughs of the trees groaned under the force of it.
The mother and her cubs scampered into the woods and up the hill to get away from the windstorm on the trail.
I squinted my eyes against the dirt and debris blowing in the air and squeezed Sugardrop’s sides to urge her forward, past the point in the trail where the bears had gone. When we were a safe distance from the bears’ path, I turned back to look.
It was a scene of decimation.
The dirt was exposed with no plants standing. Branches were bare and snapped. Nothing remained along that section of trail but dead, shattered land. I quickly looked ahead again, not wanting to see more.
I tried to shake the image from my mind for the rest of the ride. The trail was such a beautiful, peaceful place that I took solace in. I had tried to protect myself without harming the bears, only to ruin a piece of the haven I treasured.
That night, my dreams of the Old Square involved a young girl, about eight, hanging from the gallows. I forced the crowd away from her with magic I shouldn’t have, but before I could go to her, Lev was standing in front of me, blocking my way. As he raised his hand, I woke up.
Chapter thirty-six
The midmorning meetings were cancelled for the final week. This gave me a little time before I had to report anything else to Lev. I couldn’t help the Empire anymore, but I didn’t know how far I could push our mission without endangering everyone.
I found I had little regard for what would happen to me if I disobeyed the Emperor’s orders, but I wanted Jo to go back to his family’s farm. Jo, who I had seen talking to Parisa’s lady’s maid during my walk the prior day.
I wanted Ameal to get to eat his mom’s cooking. Ameal, who worked so hard to make sure I was protected and prepared during this mission.
I wanted Wynn to be able to return to Polis. Wynn, who was constantly trying to advocate for me.
I didn’t worry about Lev. Wynn had been right. He would be fine after this.
Training was largely a silent affair each morning, as we all focused on the final few days. Thankfully, Lev was not attending.
I decided to take rides with Sugardrop daily after training, but avoided the mountain meadow after the bear. I was too afraid to see my damage to the land. It felt like some admission of guilt to return the once beautiful place I had ruined.
My evenings were spent reading through Aurora’s diary. I could only take in a few pages at a time before being overcome by the pain of her life cut short and needing to step away from the small piece of her soul I now felt responsible for. Guilt consumed me that I couldn’t figure out a suitable way to honor her after I’d been helping the Empire for so long.
On the third evening that week, I was sitting in my bed, reading an entry in the diary almost to the end of the pages she had filled in. Another entry with a list. This woman was organized and liked her lists.
Seventeenth day of the Seventh Month
Today we made our stop in Agora. It was nice to have my feet on land. It took a moment to get used to the fact that the ground was no longer undulating under me. Hudson told me that it was called ‘sea legs’ and soon my ‘land legs’ would return.
We accomplished all three of our objectives on this stop:
Purchase supplies from Solterra along the docks. More spices were procured from the lands beyond the mist. Our kitchens will be so thankful. I am particularly excited for the vanilla beans. We have been without them for months now. The merchant also talked me into a spice I have never heard of, cardamom, which has a delightfully tangy scent and I think the cooks will enjoy.
Perpetuate the illusion to the Empire that this is a trade voyage and nothing more. The Protectors at the docks verified our paperwork and gave us no trouble. Hopefully the ears of the Emperor will be satisfied with our purchases and taxes paid.
Meet with Ransom Dimitris to feel out his stance before going into the Gathering.
The diary tumbled out of my hands, bouncing off my thighs and onto my bed cover.
What. The. Fuck.
She had met with Ransom.
He fucking knew I wasn’t Aurora.
He knew I was an imposter. It wasn’t a hard stretch to figure out that I was from the Imperial Protectors, if I wasn’t Aurora. They were the only ones that had the means to pull this off.
Shit, shit, shit.
I got up and began to pace around the room, trying to think through this.
Was this why he said he wanted to talk? Fuck, was this why he didn’t react when my face was clearly giving away my lies?
If Ransom had known I wasn’t Aurora since day one, why hadn’t he said anything? He had even mentioned that her boat stopped in Agora the first time I met him, and he’d said he didn’t see me.
Maybe he thought the Aurora he met with was a proxy? Maybe he had her meet with an impersonator? No, that didn’t feel right. There was no reason for either of them to do that.
Had he told anyone else?
Why was he playing along with me?
He must have known that I was reporting back to the Empire.
