Secrets Revealed, page 5
“No thanks, I was actually looking for my scarf,” she said, quickly crossing the dance floor until she came to stand right in front of the bartender.
“Sorry, no scarf was found.” He peered at her suspiciously.
She bent across the bar. “Are you sure?” and then on a whisper, “Lina killed herself, before…” The rest of her sentence lingered unspoken in the air, but judging by the glimmer in the bartender’s eyes, he knew that she’d come to reassure him.
He pretended to do some searching, to fool anyone who might be looking, although there was nobody around. “No, Fräulein, no scarf here.” Lowering his voice, he added, “Don’t come back.” With those words he turned his back on her and busied himself organizing his mixers.
“Did you get your scarf?” Gerlinde asked, as Lotte returned to her friend waiting outside.
“No,” she replied dejectedly. “I’m afraid someone has found it useful.”
“Don’t fret, Alex. It’s getting warmer by the day; you won’t need it for a long time.”
“That’s a relief,” she said with a sarcastic tone.
Gerlinde must have misunderstood Lotte’s curt answer, because she touched her friend’s shoulder gently. “It’s been a hard time – for all of us. You will see Ursula soon and then you don’t need the scarf to remind yourself of her.”
“I don’t know what I would do without you.” A wave of gratitude warmed her heart. Without Gerlinde’s friendship all of this would have been so much harder.
Chapter 9
The days dragged on and Lotte relaxed – a bit. With every passing moment, the threat of the Gestapo arresting her faded. If Lina had talked before she killed herself, they’d have acted already. Whispers about the last days of the war were everywhere, but even that didn’t make her smile. The grief over the senseless death of the young woman prevented real joy. Because it just as easily could have been her cold and in the ground.
All throughout the garrison and beyond, rumors were rife, and confusion was the order of the day. Lotte and Gerlinde kept going to the radio room every day for their shift, but even the messages they received and sent became increasingly chaotic.
“Something big is happening, I just wished we knew what,” Lotte said.
“Have you seen that files and equipment are being packed and trucks keep coming and going?” Gerlinde replied.
“I sure did. Fingers crossed that it’s good news and we’ll soon be home again.” Another message came in and Lotte interrupted the conversation, transcribing the dits and dahs. “Can’t make sense of it,” she murmured and showed it to her friend.
“That’s because it’s double encrypted. We have to give it to the boss and he’ll have someone else decrypt it for him.”
Lotte glanced at her friend, unsure whether she was joking or not, since this had never happened before.
“Come on,” Gerlinde laughed. “Don’t tell me you didn’t know this. It’s somewhere back in the rulebook. I had it happen only once before.”
“And that was when?”
“Before you came to Warsaw. We later learned the message had announced the landing in Normandy.”
A shudder wracked Lotte’s body. “Does that mean… the Allies are going to land in Norway?”
“We don’t know. But it could be. In any case the message is super important and we’d better inform the boss right away.” Gerlinde took the paper from her hands and rushed into the next room, where their supervisor had his office.
Sitting on pins and needles, Lotte barely managed to write down the flurry of messages coming through the ether until Gerlinde returned and helped out.
“And?” Lotte finally asked, when their shift ended.
“And what?”
“What did the message say?”
Gerlinde laughed out loud. “You didn’t expect him to read it out loud in front of me, now did you?”
“Of course not.” A wave of hot embarrassment flowed over Lotte at her own lack of sense.
Another day passed and the tension at the garrison was increasing in the same rhythm as Lotte’s curiosity. But no news was given and no one in the ranks had the slightest idea of what was going to happen next.
Then suddenly, Oberführerin Littmann, who was in charge of all the female auxiliaries, independent of their line of duty, gathered them and said, “Pack your things and assemble in the courtyard one hour from now. All Wehrmachtshelferinnen are evacuated back to the Reich. Immediately.”
“It’s finally happening,” Lotte said as two dozen women hurried to their barracks to pack their belongings.
“We’re going home, Alex!” Gerlinde couldn’t help doing a little dance.
“Five minutes to evacuation,” Oberführerin Littmann shouted as she stood by the truck, checking woman after woman off her list.
Lotte climbed onto the bed of the truck and found a place near the solid side, that reached almost to her hips. Hoops took the canvas covering that was latched to the solid sides. As more women squeezed inside like sardines into a tin, she had to bend her knees, and wrapped her arms around them.
“Hey! Look where you step,” someone yelled and a ripple of moving bodies claimed the truck.
Lotte huddled deeper into the corner, keeping her suitcase between her legs. Gerlinde sat beside her, adopting the same fetal position.
“Does anyone know where we are going?” someone asked, but nobody knew the answer. Home. That was what everyone hoped. There wasn’t a woman in the truck who wasn’t sick and tired of the war and just wanted to go home.
Despite the comfortable position in Norway, where the battlegrounds were hundreds of miles away, they all longed to return to their families – hoping against hope there’d be someone to come back to.
At last, Oberführerin Littmann came and announced, “We’re driving to Kristiansand and from there a ferry will cross us over into Denmark.” Before anyone could ask a question, she pulled down the flap and lateched it onto the tailgate. Then she climbed into the driver’s cab. As soon as Lotte heard the door slam shut, the truck set into motion.
“Looks like we have quite the journey ahead,” Gerlinde murmured. “About three hundred miles give or take. That is if we take the direct route.”
“How do you know?” another woman asked.
“Gerlinde spends her leisure time plastered in front of the huge map hanging at the wall in the radio room,” Lotte explained. “She has memorized all the countries in Europe, including their main cities and distances between them. She can also tell you the exact location of all the garrisons in Norway and where the cutest soldiers live.”
Laughter burst out in the crammed vehicle and took away some of the tension. Lotte tried to relax and get some shuteye, but it was a futile effort. Their assigned driver must be a true maniac, because he sped along the damaged roads and didn’t even bother to evade the inevitable potholes.
At times the heavy truck jumped up and down like a rubber boat at sea, tossed about by the waves. “Ouch, ”she yelled, as her head banged against the metal structure.
Hours later Lotte’s behind became numb, but she couldn’t move, because every inch of floor was covered with human limbs or suitcases. It was dark inside the truck and despite the awful rumbling, Lotte must have dozed off. She woke from bright light hitting her face when the back flap was opened, every bone in her body aching.
“Out, out, girls,” Oberführerin Littmann ordered the disoriented group of entangled limbs.
It took some time to sort out legs, arms and suitcases, but finally woman after woman stood on stiff legs, jumping down from the truck onto a patch of sand.
A sign read “Kristiansand Harbor”, and even before leaving the vehicle, Lotte smelled the familiar scent of salt water and heard the deep horn of a big ship. She ventured out on her numb legs, which were now pricked with needles as the blood shot back into them.
Still, she was glad to get out of the truck. The darkness and the oppressiveness of being locked inside had reminded her of awful times in Warsaw. Back then… when she’d first met Johann.
The thought of him warmed her heart. Sadness followed the warm sensation, chasing it away. What was he enduring right now? When would she see him again? Where would she even look for him?
“Come on.” Gerlinde knocked her elbow into Lotte’s ribs and handed her their two suitcases, before she climbed from the truck. “I’m glad to step out of that stinking thing.”
Some of the women were in an apparent hurry to relieve themselves after endless hours of driving, and Lotte saw them disappear behind the bushes.
“I could do with something to eat,” she said.
Oberführerin Littmann must have heard her, because she gave her a stern glance and said, “You’ll have to wait until we board ship – like everyone else.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Long ago, Lotte had learned that in the Wehrmacht it didn’t do any good to protest, complain or object.
The Oberführerin counted her group, and then led the girls down to the harbor. Although the sun blazed overhead, dark gray thunderheads loomed in the distance. The group stopped near a vessel that had been requisitioned for troop transports and watched the loading of dozens of military vehicles, tanks, howitzers, mortars on wheels and other peculiar objects.
Someone approached their group, putting their names on a list and handing out sandwiches and water to every woman. Lotte bit into her sandwich with abandon. Several companies of soldiers stood around, smoking cigarettes and launching salacious remarks at the women.
“Look, a bunch of Blitzmädel, we’re in for a treat,” one of them said.
“Softest mattress ever,” another one answered with a bawdy smirk on his face.
“We really oughta get some action in the sack… those Norwegian girls are prudes like none other.”
“Maybe with you…”
Lotte deliberately blocked out their offensive talk and focused on the deep blue water in the harbor. She had never been on such a vessel and a slight queasiness took hold of her. So far her only experiences with floating contraptions had been an air mattress, a rowing boat on one of Berlin’s lakes and the short ferry rides between the Danish islands. But this ferry was a whole different story.
The dark clouds had overtaken most of the sky, blocking out the sun and the wind howled around the harbor buildings. Huge waves rolled in from the sea and crashed against the jetty with such force Lotte thought the rocks might break. In Stavanger she’d always enjoyed the dramatic spectacle – from the safety of the shore. But now, as she was supposed to set foot on one of the cockleshells tossed about by the angry waters, she couldn’t find any beauty in the crashing waves.
Gawking seagulls flew across the harbor nosediving into the water for whatever they deemed edible. Lotte squinted her eyes into the distance, but couldn’t make out land. She knew it was only a hundred sea miles across the Skagerrak Strait to Denmark, but as far as she was concerned, it could have been a thousand sea miles across the Atlantic Ocean. What difference did it make if they were shipwrecked ten, a hundred or a thousand miles from land? And suffer a shipwreck they would, she was sure of it. The white froth of the waves had reached the height of the solitary beacon standing at the far end of the jetty.
Oberführerin Littmann discussed something at length with the officer in charge of boarding the troops, but finally she returned to the women and said, “All set. We can board now. The ship will sail under cover of night and we should arrive in Denmark in the morning.”
“How will they even know where to sail by night?” Lotte whispered.
“They navigate with compass and sextant, stupid,” a girl from the Luftwaffe meteorological service explained. “It’s much like the airplanes do. The only problem comes when there’s no clear sky, because you can’t properly dead-reckon your position.”
“Oh, thanks,” Lotte said, unsure whether that should ease her discomfort or not. Those dark clouds looming overhead made her mighty nervous, even more now that she knew the captain needed clear skies to steer his ship.
“Won’t those waves damage the ship?” another woman asked.
One of the soldiers had overheard them. “Of course not. These vessels are built for worse than that. No reason to chicken out. Although I can offer my reassuring embrace to any one of you who is afraid.”
“Of course he will,” Gerlinde whispered. “Hoping to get a free pass.”
“Not your type?” Lotte teased her, gaining an indignant glance.
“Hurry up. The ship won’t wait for us,” the Oberführerin admonished them.
Lotte grabbed her suitcase and crossed the swaying gangway, her gaze glued to the ship’s railing. Usually, she loved water, was a good swimmer, but the gurgling blue-black waters beneath her didn’t look inviting. It was an irrational fear, but for some reason she already saw herself struggling to keep afloat, her uniform with the bulky shoes dragging her down, deep into the waters.
“There’s nothing to worry about,” she heard a familiar voice through the fog that thickened her brain, but she could only shake her head. There was, in fact, a lot to worry about.
Gerlinde must have lost her patience and grabbed Lotte’s hand, pulling her across the gangway onto the heaving ship. “I didn’t know you were afraid of the sea.”
“I didn’t know myself,” Lotte heard her own distorted voice saying. Clasping her suitcase with one hand and Gerlinde’s arm with the other one, she followed her friend. Gerlinde found a sheltered spot for them to sit on deck and Lotte narrowed her eyes at the retreating shoreline with its distinctive rocks and hills and wooden houses.
“So, that’s the end of our time in Norway,” she mumbled, imprinting the memories in her brain.
“I guess it is,” Gerlinde remarked with a deep sadness in her voice.
Lotte knew her friend worried about the uncertain fate of her family, and she put her arm around Gerlinde’s shoulder. Together they would make it across the sea, and back home.
The unsteady craft pounded and rolled, breasting the oncoming waves, as it navigated the rough waters of the Skagerrak Strait. After a while, Lotte got used to the movement and thought it wasn’t all that bad. But her reprieve only lasted until the ship changed course and the waves hit the hull sideways, making it tilt over from side to side.
Vomit rising in her throat, all she could do was rush to the railing and bend over, retching. She continued to feed the fish until nothing but green bile came out. Only then did she venture a glance at both sides, her eyes verifying what her ears and nose had surmised: rows of men and women lined the railings, losing the contents of their stomachs. Too weak to move, she clung to the railing, hoping this journey would end before she died.
Once again, Gerlinde came to her rescue. “It gets better when you lie down.”
Indifferent to everything, Lotte followed her friend back to their sheltered places and didn’t protest when Gerlinde ordered her to lie down. It might be slightly better, or it might not. Lotte did not know and did not care. All she wanted was for this awful seasickness to end – whether that happened because they reached land or she died, she didn’t prefer one over the other right now.
Chapter 10
Lotte’s first sight of Denmark was the little fishing village of Hirtshals. But she would have disembarked from the ship anywhere, if only she could leave behind the rolling, jumping, and tilting monster. In her hurry to get off the vessel, she squeezed through the onslaught of military vehicles disembarking and didn’t look back until she reached the terra firma of the jetty.
As soon as she sensed land beneath her feet, the nausea dissolved in an instant as if it had never existed. Only her hungry stomach reminded her of the emptiness inside.
“Thank goodness we survived this trip through hell,” she said.
“Now you’re exaggerating. It wasn’t even a real storm,” one of the few women who hadn’t become seasick said.
“Well, if that was just a minor wind, I don’t want to experience a full-grown storm.” Lotte searched for a place to shelter, because the rain was coming down in buckets and her soaked uniform didn’t put up much resistance to the scathingly chilly wind.
Half an hour later, every vehicle had been unloaded and the ferry sailed away to collect another load. The soldiers had left with their companies, leaving the Wehrmachtshelferinnen alone, seemingly abandoned like castaways marooned on a desert island.
“How bleak this place is,” Gerlinde said, standing in the chilly waiting area at the harbor. The women around her agreed.
“It’s the weather that’s ugly,” Lotte added. “I’ll bet it’s lovely when the sun shines.” Her comment didn’t inspire cheer; instead glum faces expressed annoyance at Denmark’s hostile welcome.
“What are we supposed to do here anyway?” a black-haired young woman complained softly.
Oberführerin Littmann had been rushing up and down talking to every officer she could engage, to no avail. She finally returned to her girls and said, “Apparently nobody was advised of our arrival.”
None of them dared say a word, but the women looked at each other and Lotte saw her own thoughts mirrored in their eyes. What the Oberführerin had told them wasn’t the truth. More than one of the women had overheard snippets of talk and it was clear that the supreme commander in Denmark, General Georg Lindemann, had adamantly opposed any evacuation of troops, even female auxiliaries. About a week ago he’d announced that he would defend Denmark against every attack, from whichever side, to the last bullet and the last breath.
He considered the presence of the evacuated female auxiliaries a nuisance, even a hindrance to his continued war efforts. Their showing up here reminded the soldiers under his command that others had stopped the fighting already. Lotte suspected that the awful welcome they’d be given in General Lindemann’s region might be a statement to show that he, indeed, wanted to fight until the last man.
“It looks like we’ll have to wait here until the garrison command can send us transport,” the Oberführerin said. Lotte almost pitied her for her unfortunate role in this badly planned evacuation that had become a political statement. The older woman might be strict, even pedantic at times, but she always had the well-being of her charges in mind.
