Secrets Revealed, page 17
The ferry docked at the other side of the river with a bump, knocking Lotte off-balance. The boy grabbed her hand and didn’t let go of it, even when she’d found her balance again.
“I’m Markus, and you?”
“Alex,” she said, leaving her hand in his. Even though he was only a youth, it gave her the comfort of not being alone in this.
“You have a boy’s name?”
“My full name is Alexandra.” She smiled. “Where are you going?”
His face fell. “Berlin. I hope to find my aunt there, the rest of my family…” His voice became high-pitched and tears appeared in the corner of his eyes. Lotte squeezed his slender hand.
“I’m headed for Berlin, too. Should we make the journey together?” She surprised herself with the offer, since she’d known him for less than five minutes. But his childish face had looked so incredibly sad… and sweet. He wouldn’t harm her. They’d be better off together.
“But not the way you’re dressed,” he grinned, nodding at her fancy dress. Despite wear, dust and dirt, Karen’s dress still stuck out against the other travelers like a sore thumb. “Except if you want to attract the attention of the Ivans.”
“Goodness, no!” she exclaimed. “But I don’t have anything else to wear.”
“Leave it to me.”
They left the ferry hand in hand and walked into the village on the other side. Markus seemed to know his way around, because he pulled her behind him to the cemetery.
Her heart thumped in her chest. “What are we doing here?”
“Finding clothes for you to wear.”
Lotte shuddered and wanted to protest, but Markus had already dashed off and shortly after returned with dusty trousers, shirt and jacket.
“You don’t seriously expect me to put on the clothes of a corpse?” Lotte retreated a step in disgust.
Markus giggled. “In fact, I do. Because we’re going to make a man out of you. Now stop being so squeamish and change out of your dress.”
She glanced at the boy who seemed to think this was a good idea, and a funny one at that. “Will you at least turn around?”
Another giggle left Markus’s mouth. “Can I trust you?”
“You can,” Lotte answered automatically, while she pondered whether she could actually trust him.
“My real name is Martha.”
“M-Martha?” It took a few seconds to register in Lotte’s brain. And then she understood. “Oh.”
“You wouldn’t guess it, now would you?” Martha beamed with pride. “I’ve crossed the Soviet zone twice in search of my family, and no Ivan ever bothered me. Not even once.”
Lotte relented and changed into the suit that had belonged to a short man, but still bagged on her. If it weren’t for the suspenders, she’d lose the trousers with every step she took.
“It looks great,” Martha said. “But you need to keep the jacket closed at all times, because your boobs will betray you.”
Thankfully the jacket could have hosted two of her, and the unflattering garment hid every trace of her female curves.
“Now we just need to take care of your hair.”
No sooner said than done. Martha fumbled a knife from her shoulder bag and Lotte closed her eyes in horror as she attacked her beautiful red curls.
“Done. Even your mother wouldn’t recognize you.” Martha put a hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry. Is she still alive?”
“I hope so. In fact, I’m going to Berlin to try and find her and my sisters.” Lotte ran a hand, then two hands, through her hair – agonized, stupefied. Barely one inch of her formerly chin-length mop of hair was left. She probably wouldn’t even recognize herself – if she had a mirror to check.
“We need to walk all the way to Wittenberge. From there I heard there’s a train going to Berlin,” Martha said with the authority of someone who’d been on the road for too long.
Chapter 27
Two days later Martha and Lotte arrived in Berlin and parted ways. Lotte retraced the familiar steps from the central station, Bahnhof Zoo, to the apartment building where her family had lived for decades.
But nothing was familiar anymore. She barely recognized the streets and got lost more than once in the endless catalog of obliteration. It was like the jaws of hell had opened up and swallowed the entire city of Berlin, leaving only molten vomit behind.
As she trudged the streets, she saw women queuing for rations, women removing debris from the ruins, women collecting stones to be reused, women layering bricks, women repairing tram rails, women driving buses.
What she didn’t see were men.
Having lived surrounded by men in the garrison for such a long time, Lotte was amazed at the lack of countrymen. The only adult males visible were Allied soldiers striding along the streets as if they owned them – which, in fact, they did.
She stopped at a corner to ask directions of a tired-looking woman removing bricks with her bare hands. The woman stretched her back with a groan and looked at Lotte with dull eyes that had long lost their light. “Down there and then to the left.”
Before she departed in the indicated direction, Lotte indulged in her curiosity. “Why don’t you let the men do this backbreaking work?”
“Men? Which men?” The woman wiped the sweat from her forehead and murmured, “All dead, imprisoned or missing. You got lucky you’re alive.”
The old post office a block away from her building was obliterated, but the ancient linden tree in front of it stood defiantly like a headstone to mark the spot. How often had Lotte and her siblings climbed those sturdy branches when Mutter had to go into the post office to stamp her letters?
“It’s unladylike for you to behave in such an unrefined manner. Why can’t you be more like your sisters?” Mutter had scolded. Lotte continued her antics until that day when she was twelve years old and a boy whistled up at her.
“He can see your knickers, Lotte.” Anna and Richard doubled up laughing. Lotte never climbed that tree again, though now that she wore the attire of a man she fought an irresistible impulse to scale those branches once more. Instead she ran her hand through her cropped hair and walked on, determined to be as resilient as that beloved old tree.
When she finally arrived at the building where her family lived, the shock settled deep into her soul, impeding any movement. She stood frozen to stone on the street, a car honking at the obstacle she posed, her eyes widening by the moment. A barely standing structure with gaping bomb holes in walls peppered with bullet holes, and smashed window panes, confronted her. Where her apartment used to be the wall had a different color, as if freshly erected to repair a hole.
Please God, let them be alive and here. Lotte prayed, though in her heart she couldn’t fathom anyone living in these conditions, especially Mutter, who was so fastidious about cleanliness and tidying her home.
She slipped through the entrance door that hung on the hinges. Rushing up the damaged stairs, taking three steps at once, she met a young boy dashing down. He brushed past her without a word, darted on outside into the street and disappeared.
Lotte’s heart nearly stopped. He hadn’t recognized her, but despite his having grown so much in the past year she recognized him immediately. If her nephew Jan was here, the rest of the family must be, too. With newfound energy she bounded up to the fourth floor and stood on the landing, heart thumping and palms sweating.
She banged on the door with both fists, not caring whether she alerted the entire neighborhood. Not even the neighborhood gossip, Frau Weber, scared her right now, because what would she do when the believed-dead daughter of her neighbors returned home? Denounce her to the new authorities?
“What the hell are you trying to do, you crazy boy?” Her brother-in-law Peter opened the door, scowling angrily. The last time she’d seen him in Warsaw he was an impressive, fear-inspiring, burly man. Now she stared in shock at his hollow face and skeletal frame. His own clothes hung on him in as ludicrous manner as the stolen clothes hung on her.
Riddled with shock, she couldn’t utter a single word.
“You want to break a door that’s already hanging on its last hinges? We have no money, nor anything else. Go away.” He attempted to slam the door in her face, but she was faster and pushed a foot between door and frame.
“Peter, it’s—”
In that moment she heard her sister Anna’s voice calling out, “Who is it at the door?”
Tears spilled from Lotte’s eyes and before Peter could say a word, she screamed, “Anna. It’s me, Lotte.”
Moments later she was staring at her sister, who had an expression of total disbelief in her eyes.
“Lotte, honey, you made it home.” Anna pushed her husband aside and wrapped her arms around her sister, both women bawling like babies right there in the doorframe, until Peter finally pulled them inside.
“Oh, Anna…” Lotte had yearned such a long time to reunite with her family, that now the words slipped from her brain. Everything slipped from her brain and she found herself on a dilapidated sofa, holding a glass of water in her hands, tears spilling down her cheeks.
“Goodness, Lotte, we heard about your evacuation and that you’d gone missing…” Anna hugged her so hard, she thought her ribs would crack. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Where’s Mutter? And Ursula?”
“Ursula moved to Aunt Lydia’s with the baby and Mutter is running errands.”
“Thank God…” Lotte barely dared to ask her next question. “What about Richard? And our father?”
Anna shook her head. “We haven’t heard from them.”
“Which is a good thing,” Peter said. “If they had been killed, your mother would have been informed.” It was a small solace.
“I saw Jan dashing down the stairs, but he didn’t recognize me.”
Peter chuckled. “I didn’t recognize you, either. Thought you’re a vagrant coming to beg.”
“What happened to your hair?” Anna asked.
“It had to go. Was safer to travel like this.”
The bottomless agony in Anna’s eyes told Lotte that her sister knew all too well. Things had happened to both of them, but if they wanted to survive, they had to bury the past, never to be spoken of again.
Ever.
“Look at the bright side, Lotte, it took you nineteen years of rebellion until you got what you wanted and became a boy.” Anna made an effort to push the haunting memories away.
Lotte chuckled as the revelation hit her. “You’re wrong, big sister. I never wanted to be a boy. I only wanted to do all the exciting things boys are allowed to do and girls aren’t.”
“Speaking of boys. Do you have news from that soldier you were sweet on?” Anna asked.
Her family had never met Johann, since he’d had to stay in Warsaw when Lotte visited for a week’s furlough last year.
“He was captured by the Ivan in January. But since then I’ve had no news.” Her heart grew sad at the thought of the man she loved, and she clung to the hope that he’d soon be released and return to her side.
Thankfully, she didn’t have time to dwell on her sadness for long, because the door opened, and her mother entered the apartment.
* * *
“What’s…” Mutter dropped her shopping bag, and a dozen potatoes for which she’d probably been queuing for hours tumbled to the floor. Lotte jumped into her mother’s opened arms. “Lotte, my baby. God… darling… you’re here… my baby is here.”
And for once Lotte didn’t mind one bit that her mother still called her baby. She was alive and home again.
Thank you for taking the time to read SECRETS REVEALED. If you enjoyed this book and are feeling generous, please leave me a review.
The next book in the War Girls series is the long-awaited story about Ursula and her British pilot Tom. They will meet again after the war, but a relationship is not possible, due to the anti-fraternization rules of the Allies.
Read TOGETHER AT LAST to find out whether their love for each other is stronger than all the obstacles. The book also updates you on Richard and Katrina, Anna and Peter, Lotte, their mother, and Aunt Lydia.
Order Together at Last
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And if you haven’t read all the books in the series, start with the free prequel Downed over Germany.
Author’s Notes
Dear Reader,
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Lotte has experienced a lot since the first book WAR GIRL LOTTE, when she was an impulsive, outspoken sixteen-year-old teenager. She had to learn that every action bears consequences and that the world isn’t black or white.
Some of you complained she was too immature and selfish in the first book – which she was. But I think she matured nicely and became an upstanding young woman in FATAL ENCOUNTER, where she falls in love with Johann, while they are both in Warsaw during the uprising.
SECRETS REVEALED is the conclusion of her story, although not completely. She will appear yet again in the next book of the series, TOGETHER AT LAST, which is the long-awaited story of Ursula and her British pilot Tom.
The Germans early in the war occupied Norway, but because Hitler considered Scandinavians to belong to the superior Aryan race, they never suffered the same brutal oppression as the Eastern European countries did.
I visited Stavanger many years ago, right after graduating from high school and the Lysefjord is still one of the most impressive sights I’ve ever seen, so I couldn’t resist to sneak in a chapter about this majestic natural wonder. If you ever get the chance to visit Norway, it’s well worth to climb up there.
As for the evacuation and later capture of the Wehrmachtshelferinnen, there’s not much information around. During my research I found thousands of articles about male POWs, but the women were…forgotten.
They weren’t soldiers, but neither were they civilians, so the Allies could basically treat them as they liked and often seemed clueless about what to do with them. As always the Soviets were the worst perpetrators and those women unfortunate enough to be in the Balkans or Eastern Europe in general didn’t make it home. Thousands were sent to labor camps in Russia where most of them perished.
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Even the Wehrmacht had not clear indication what to do with them, because the commanding officers were ordered to evacuate all female auxiliaries “in an emergency”, but on the other hand, they were needed in their positions to ensure operational readiness of the troops. Therefore, if an officer evacuated the women too early, he’d be tried for defeatism and cowardice. If he evacuated them too late and they were captured he’d be tried for violating the order to keep the females safe. It really was a no-win situation for the commanding officers who often risked their own careers to protect the women by sending them home.
Midsummer night, or Sankt Hans as it’s called in Denmark is a huge festivity, marking the longest day of the year. I spent one summer in Finland where this may well be the biggest celebration of the entire year. Under Nazi rule it was forbidden, but as soon as the war was over, the Scandinavians took to their traditions again.
Just when I had settled for a title and my fantastic designer Daniela Colleo from stunningbookcovers.com had made the perfect cover for this book, I found out that Roberta Kagan already has a book with the exact same title in her Eidel’s story series. Since I didn’t want any trouble, I offered to use another title for my own book, but the incredibly generous, warm-hearted and talented Roberta graciously told me not to worry about it.
So my thanks go to her, for being so kind and I wholeheartedly recommend her books to everyone who loves to read Holocaust novels. Despite the awful topic, her books always carry a sliver of hope. You can find them here: http://www.robertakagan.com/
Tami Stark, my editor, and Martin O’Hearn my proofreader made this book the best it can be by cleaning up typos, unclear sentences, or anachronistic terms. There still may be mistakes that slipped past them and if you find one, please let me know.
My biggest thanks go to you, my reader. Thank you for following the lives of my War Girls, for your wonderful emails, the encouragement, and the kind words. I love hearing from you!
If you’re seeking a group of wonderful people who have an interest in WWII fiction, you are more than welcome to join our Facebook group.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/962085267205417
Again, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read my book and if you liked it (or even if you didn’t) I would appreciate a sincere review.
* * *
Marion Kummerow
Also by Marion Kummerow
Love and Resistance in WW2 Germany
Unrelenting
Unyielding
Unwavering
Turning Point (Spin-off)
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War Girl Series
Downed over Germany (Prequel)
War Girl Ursula (Book 1)
War Girl Lotte (Book 2)
War Girl Anna (Book 3)
Reluctant Informer (Book 4)
Trouble Brewing (Book 5)
Fatal Encounter (Book 6)
Uncommon Sacrifice (Book 7)
Bitter Tears (Book 8)
Secrets Revealed (Book 9)
Together at Last (Book 10)
Endless Ordeal (Book 11)
Berlin Fractured
From the Ashes (Book 1)
On the Brink (Book 2)
In the Skies (Book 3)
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Historical Romance
Second Chance at First Love
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Find all my books here:
http://www.kummerow.info
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