Top of Her Game, page 9
Rhea pulled in to the driveway, and all Sutton could think about then was how badly she didn’t want to hurt her. Rhea got out of the car and smiled.
“This is unexpected,” Rhea said. She grabbed her bag out of the back seat and shut the car door. The sound echoed in the quiet neighborhood. “We have the place to ourselves for a while.” She walked up to Sutton and placed her hand on her knee. “I’ve missed you.”
Sutton could feel her eyes start to tear up. She shook her head and bent forward so she could rest her forehead against the back of Rhea’s hand. She greedily soaked up the warmth before sitting up again. “I came here to talk.” She didn’t want to dance or lead Rhea on any more than she already had.
Rhea pulled her hand away and stepped back. Anger flared in her eyes. “Come upstairs.” She stepped around Sutton and opened the door. They walked silently up to her shared apartment. Rhea threw her keys on the small kitchen table and placed her bag on the floor. When she turned back to Sutton, she already had tears in her eyes. “Just say it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want your apology, Sutton, I want a reason. I want the truth.”
Sutton took a deep breath. She leaned with her back against the counter and crossed her arms over her chest. The words were there, but she struggled to get them out. “I’ve been unfair to you. I don’t feel the same way you feel, and I haven’t for a while.”
“Let me guess, you haven’t felt the same since the beginning of the season.”
“No—”
“Since a gorgeous rookie stepped on the field to entertain you.”
“What? No, Rhea, it’s not like that.”
“I know you. I know how you operate and what gets you off.”
Sutton fought against her rising anger. Rhea had the right to be mad, not her. “You do know me, and you must’ve noticed I haven’t really been in this since the off-season.” Sutton watched Rhea pace. She wanted to reach out and touch her, to calm her and try to get her to understand. But Sutton knew better. “I came here because I care about you and didn’t want to do this over the phone.”
Rhea stopped and turned so quickly her ponytail whipped across her shoulders. “Tell me it has nothing to do with Kenzie Shaw, and I’ll believe you. I’ll accept your apology, and I’ll believe we just didn’t work out.”
Sutton looked Rhea in the eye. She worked her jaw multiple times and opened her mouth to lie, but the truth came spilling out. “I’m not doing this for Kenzie or because of Kenzie, but I am doing this now because of my feelings for her.”
“I knew it,” Rhea said with a shake of her head, wiping a stray tear away. “Sherri was right. I can’t wait to tell her. What exactly did Kenzie do for you that you were so quick to drop me?”
Sutton clenched her fists to keep her patience under control. “She didn’t do anything. I’ve felt like this for a while. Instead of putting myself in a position where I’d cheat, I came here to talk.”
“I bet she makes you feel like a superstar. Is that it? She looks at you with those big doe eyes and you eat it up like the self-centered asshole you are.”
“I don’t love you,” Sutton snapped. “I haven’t loved you, and I don’t know that I ever did. I came here out of respect, but I’m starting to question even that right now.” Sutton pulled out her phone and ordered a car service to come get her. She’d rather sit in the airport for hours than endure any more name-calling. She understood Rhea was hurt, but she needed to maintain a little self-worth. “I’ll see you at our next game against each other.” She was shocked to see tears streaming down Rhea’s face. She stepped in and took Rhea in her arms. “I really am sorry,” she said quietly into her ear.
“So am I.” Rhea pushed Sutton away, breaking their embrace. “I’m sorry I wasn’t enough.”
Sutton used the pads of her thumbs to wipe away Rhea’s tears. “You were always enough—I just wasn’t right for you.” She held still when Rhea stood tall and kissed her. Sutton kissed her back as sadness filled her heart. She stepped back.
“You can just ship anything I left at your house,” Rhea said, wiping tears from her face.
“We’ll see each other eventually.”
“No. We may be able to be friends one day, but for now, for a while, I don’t even want to look at you.”
Sutton’s heart stung. She nodded solemnly. “I understand.”
“I hate how much I love you, and I’ve hated it since day one because I knew you were going to break my heart.”
“I didn’t know. I never thought I’d be the one to end us. Despite popular belief, I’m not always looking for someone else.” Sutton started for the door.
“Is that really true?” Rhea’s question held no malice. “I hope it is, because Kenzie doesn’t deserve to feel this way.”
Sutton arched her eyebrow. “But she deserved your beatdown on the field?” She shook her head when Rhea shrugged. “I’ll see you around, Rhea.” Sutton opened the door and stepped in the hallway. She cast a glance back to Rhea before closing the door on over a year of her life. She took the steps slowly and walked right to the car waiting for her. She felt lighter. Rhea could go on to be happy now, and maybe she was ready to find her own happiness.
She had to wait hours for a return flight, so she busied herself with an airport dinner and a nap in an uncomfortable lounge chair. She could’ve used her status to score more comfortable accommodations, but the discomfort was her penance.
Chapter Fifteen
For the first time in a long time, Sutton was nervous. Deep down, shaking in her boots nervous. She took every back road she could, hoping the extra minutes would quell her nerves. She knew she had no rational reason to be scared. She wasn’t stuck in an odd gray area with Kenzie. Their feelings were obvious, but Sutton couldn’t bring herself to drive the rest of the way to Kenzie’s house.
Every what-if she could think of popped into her head and festered in her imagination. What if Kenzie wasn’t home, and her mom answered the door? What if Kenzie’d had enough time to talk herself out of what was growing between them? What if Kenzie never really wanted her after all?
Once she was in front of Kenzie’s house and saw the car in the driveway, she resorted to an old-fashioned pep talk. “You’re not going to announce you’re single, and you’re definitely not going to act like you just came here for that reason.” She checked her appearance in the rearview mirror. Her hair was in place, which gave her a small boost of confidence. She grabbed her phone and typed out a quick message to Kenzie.
Are you home?
Sutton sat and waited for a response. She bounced her leg up and down and turned off the radio because it added to her jitters. She continuously checked it but still jumped when it buzzed in her hand.
Yes?
Sutton smiled. She could hear Kenzie’s confused tone in her head. Are you home alone? She hesitated for a second before hitting send. She stared out the windshield at the blossoming trees as they swayed in the breeze.
Yeah. Mom’s at work.
Sutton jumped into action. She hopped out of her Jeep and started up the winding walkway to Kenzie’s front door. She wouldn’t give herself any time to think, or she might talk herself out of what she was about to do. She knocked and took a deep breath. Her neck felt tight. Before she could stretch it, the door swung open.
Kenzie stared at her quizzically. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to, um…” Sutton’s mind reeled with every way she could finish that sentence. Tell you something? See you? Kiss you? She coughed nervously. “I just got back from Portland and wanted to stop by.” She looked at the concrete step she stood on and then out to the front yard. She had never felt so awkward in her life.
“You were in Portland?” Kenzie stood with her arms crossed, in an old sweatshirt and yoga pants, looking every bit as confused and apprehensive as Sutton felt.
“Yeah. I went yesterday and got in really early this morning. Listen, can I come in? I feel a little like what I’m going to say will be broadcasted,” she said with a sweep of her arm toward the neighborhood. “You know?”
Kenzie stepped to the side. “Okay. Sure.”
Sutton froze once she was few feet into the house.
“Are you okay?” Kenzie said. “You’re acting weird.”
“I’m a little nervous.” Sutton ran her hand over the back of her head. “I went to see Rhea.”
“Wow. A trip across the country to see your girlfriend for a night.” Kenzie’s shoulders fell slightly. She turned and walked toward the kitchen. “Would you like something to drink or eat? I have some roasted veggies.”
“I had to go see her.”
Kenzie stopped walking but didn’t turn around. “Why are you telling me this?” Her voice sounded small and sad.
Sutton decided to blurt it out. “She’s not my girlfriend anymore. That’s why I went to Portland with no warning and for less than a day. Rhea and I had been together for over a year. I couldn’t break up with her over the phone.”
Kenzie turned slowly. “And you came right here?”
“I tried to sleep for a few hours, but I couldn’t wait to see you.”
“Why?”
Now she was more confused than nervous. “Because I wanted to talk, like you said we could.”
Kenzie pressed her hand to her forehead. “I didn’t think this would actually happen.”
“Wait,” Sutton said as her heart sank. “I thought we were on the same page. I thought you wanted this.” She motioned between them.
“I do, Sutton. I want this so much I’m convinced I’m imagining it.”
“It’s real.”
“No one flies thousands of miles to break up with someone just to be with me.”
“Someone just did.” Sutton cautiously stepped closer, studying the way Kenzie fidgeted and avoided looking at her. “Talk to me. What’s going on in that lovely mind of yours?”
“It’s too soon. You shouldn’t go from one girl to another. You should take time to be alone and think about this. If you still want it down the road, then fine. We should talk and take the chance.”
“I’m not going from one girl to another.” Sutton reached out for Kenzie’s hand, dismayed but not surprised when Kenzie stepped back. “It’s been you and only you for a while. The only difference now is the obstacle between us is gone.”
Kenzie remained silent.
Sutton sighed with frustration. “This is not how I imagined this going.”
“What did you imagine? Me hearing you’re single now and throwing myself at you?”
“Well, no. I mean, not exactly like that, but not as poorly as this.”
“Tell me how you thought this would play out.” Kenzie sounded earnest but not upset or aggressive.
“I thought I’d come here, and we’d talk a little, you’d be happy to see me and tell me about what’s been going on with you. We’d laugh and relax, but there’d still be a tension between us because we almost kissed, and I know we’ve both been thinking about that moment since it happened. Then, when I got up the nerve, I’d tell you where I went and why. You’d have a bunch of questions like how Rhea took it and what I said, or if she knew it was for you.”
“Those are questions I would ask,” Kenzie said, fidgeting with her hands.
“And once you’ve turned over my every answer in your head at least a dozen times, you’d ask what it meant for us. Because you’d need me to say it.”
“Say what?”
“That I want to be with you.”
Kenzie ran her hands through her hair and pulled it up, securing it with an elastic from her wrist. Her face was flushed in the most attractive way.
“And then after I tell you how badly I want to be with you, I thought I’d finally, finally, get to kiss you.”
“That sounds lovely,” Kenzie said with a nod. “Almost like a fairy tale.”
Sutton could feel her hesitation. “But…?”
“But it’s unrealistic. I think we need time.”
Sutton dropped her head in surrender. She wasn’t going to beg or treat Kenzie like her feelings were any less important than her own. “Okay. I understand.”
“You do?”
Sutton bobbed her head from side to side. “Barely, but what I definitely understand is you’re asking me for something I can very easily give you.” She closed the distance between them and hugged Kenzie tightly, wanting Kenzie to feel every ounce of safety and security she was offering. “I’ll be here when you’re ready,” she whispered into Kenzie’s ear.
She gave herself one last moment to relish Kenzie’s warmth and scent before she stepped away reluctantly.
“What about you?” Kenzie said. “How will I know when you’re ready?”
Sutton smiled softly, barely a curl of the corner of her mouth. “I was ready the moment you opened the door.” Before she could stop herself, Sutton leaned forward and kissed Kenzie’s forehead. “I’ll see you at practice tomorrow.”
She walked out the door. She couldn’t be around Kenzie for another minute before her resolve would falter. Kenzie hadn’t rejected her, but why did it feel that way? Her heart was hammering by the time she reached her Jeep. She put her hand on the door handle but didn’t open it. She pressed her head against the window and let the cool glass calm her.
“Sutton!”
Sutton spun around to see Kenzie running toward her. She fell into Sutton’s arms and kissed her then, a sexy, simple meeting of lips. They discovered how well they fit together. Sutton dropped her hands to Kenzie’s waist and gripped her tightly. She separated briefly to take a breath before matching Kenzie’s enthusiasm head-on.
Kenzie pulled back suddenly and looked startled. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I should’ve asked if that was okay.” Kenzie toyed with the metal buttons of Sutton’s jean jacket.
“You knew it was okay. That’s why you did it.” She felt Kenzie start to step away, and she tightened her grip. “Would it be okay if I kissed you again?”
Kenzie’s eyes lit up, and any worry on her face melted away. “Please.”
Sutton leaned in slowly this time, feeling the warmth of Kenzie’s skin and the softness of her mouth as they barely brushed each other. She ran her hands up Kenzie’s arms and concentrated on the plush feel of her shirt. She wanted to immerse herself in every detail, to overwhelm her senses. She breathed Kenzie’s perfume and tasted the peppermint on her tongue.
“Kiss me already,” Kenzie said, tugging on Sutton’s jacket.
Sutton laughed. “There’s no way I’m going to rush this.” She brushed her nose against Kenzie’s. “You feel so good.” She brought her hands up to the back of Kenzie’s neck and played with the soft skin and baby-fine hairs there. She ran her fingertips along the side of Kenzie’s neck before tracing the slight curve where her neck met her shoulder. Kenzie’s jaw tensed as Sutton grazed it with her thumbs.
Sutton finally kissed Kenzie fully. She felt and heard Kenzie’s answering moan. Sutton opened her mouth just enough to peek her tongue out and taste the bow of Kenzie’s upper lip. Kenzie surged forward and tried to gain the upper hand, but Sutton expertly controlled the pace. She slid her tongue between Kenzie’s lips with a slow, torturous, and sinfully delightful motion. She knew this moment was meant to happen as soon as Kenzie welcomed her with her own velvety tongue.
The first day they met.
When Kenzie hit her with a ball.
When Sutton sat beside her on the bus.
Every single moment between them had led to this kiss.
Sutton pulled their hips together and opened her mouth wider. She couldn’t get over the intoxicating dance they were doing. Everything about Kenzie felt delicate and feminine, and Sutton grew wetter with every touch. By the way Kenzie shifted to pull Sutton’s thigh between her legs, Sutton knew the feeling was mutual. Sutton ended the kiss and rested her forehead against Kenzie’s. Their breathing was labored.
“We could go inside or back to my place, if you’d like.”
Kenzie stilled. “As tempting as that is, and believe me when I say I’m tempted, it’s also a little fast.”
“I should say good-bye, then.” Sutton gave Kenzie’s pouty lips a peck. “Because I want to do this right.” She gave her another chaste kiss. She hoped for a green light from Kenzie to take it further, but one never came.
Kenzie’s eyes were still closed. “You should definitely go.”
“I want to take you out.”
Kenzie opened her eyes and her face broke into a wide grin. “Okay. I like the sound of that. What were you thinking? Dinner tonight or maybe a movie?”
“Atlantic City this weekend.”
Kenzie looked shocked.
“And breakfast before practice tomorrow.”
“You’re taking me to Atlantic City?”
“Yes. There’re a few shows I’m interested in and so many restaurants we won’t know what to pick, but I think it’d be nice to get away for a little bit. We can leave as soon as we get back from our game on Friday and stay until Sunday. I leave for camp next week, so I’d like some real time with you before then.”
“Stay over?”
“Yes.”
“In the same room?”
Sutton couldn’t help but chuckle as she pulled Kenzie in for another kiss. She was so dang cute. “In the same room with no expectations. I’ll even book a double. I just want to get away with you.” Sutton brought her palm to Kenzie’s cheek and Kenzie reached up to hold it in place. Sutton stared at her contented expression. “God, you’re beautiful.”
“I’m a wreck, but I’ll pull myself together for the weekend.”
“Every way I’ve ever seen you, you’ve been perfect.”
Kenzie poked Sutton’s stomach. “Save the lines for this weekend when you wine and dine me.” She stood tall and kissed Sutton. “You better go before I start listing reasons for you to stay.”
