Top of Her Game, page 22
She sat in a quiet café off Main Street and people-watched. Much like every other day, her mind wandered to what Kenzie would’ve ordered or what she would have thought of the place. She knew Kenzie would have made fun of her for ordering two avocado toasts and an oatmeal. Sutton smiled sadly at her breakfast as the pang of heartbreak ebbed in her chest.
She’d expected to feel better as time passed, or at least come to terms with what she had done, maybe even start to believe it was the right thing. But she didn’t. For the first time in her career, Sutton couldn’t wait for the season to be over, to be a free agent and escape the villains behind the scenes. Maybe she’d even talk to Seattle’s coach after the game and let her know she was interested in playing for the Mist next year. She sipped her latte. Sutton could make Seattle her new home. It didn’t matter where she went because she’d always be missing Kenzie.
She checked her phone. Soon she’d have to head back to the hotel and get ready for the game. She’d lost the spark she used to feel before big games. Now it was about routine and performance, not drive and passion. She was going through the motions—something she’d never expected to happen with soccer.
She walked the streets of Seattle slowly, trying on the city like a new pair of shoes. Could she take this walk every day and never grow tired of it? Was Seattle the kind of city she’d beg her family to come visit? Would her dad approve of the team? She pulled her wool peacoat around her. October in Seattle felt more like a Jersey November.
Sutton wasn’t at all surprised to find Taylor waiting for her in her hotel room. “What’s up?” Even her tone was flat.
“Chiara let me in.”
“How nice of her,” she said. She paid more attention to the buttons on her jacket than she did Taylor.
Taylor looked up at Sutton from where she was seated on the end of her bed. “I just wanted to check on you. Today is a big game—”
“I am well aware.”
Taylor let out a heavy breath. “What is up with you? You tell me you broke up with Kenzie after Brett makes an announcement that she was traded to Kansas City, and that’s it. Now, you mope around, avoid me at all costs, and are so furious on the field I’m convinced you’ll get a red card every game. Or kill someone.”
“I’m going through some stuff, but I’m still here. I still show up and give one hundred percent.”
“And that’s it—you’re just there. It’s been two months, Sutton. We barely speak, and I only see you when we’re working.”
“That’s all I’m capable of right now.”
“I tried to be respectful and give you your space, but I’m over the bullshit. Tell me what happened. I need to figure out a way to help you.”
Sutton scrubbed her face with her hands. “I can’t. You can’t.”
“I told you—I’m over the bullshit.”
Sutton looked Taylor in the eye. She had one game left, two if she was lucky, with New Jersey. Bob’s threats could only last until the end of the season. He couldn’t touch Sutton’s career after that, and Kenzie should be in the clear, too. Maybe she could finally share a bit of her burden with Taylor. “Kansas City acquired Kenzie through a trade.”
“And the sky is blue.”
“Do you want me to tell you or no? Because I don’t have to.”
Taylor put up her palms. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget when to check my sarcasm. I want you to tell me. Please?”
“Smoke acquired Kenzie through a trade we started, and I was supposed to be part of it.”
Taylor stared blankly before her face twisted in confusion. “Wait. You were going to be traded and you never told me?”
“Taylor—”
“What the fuck, Sutton? We’ve been friends for years and some girl comes along that suddenly you’re ready to leave your team for?” Taylor stood and leveled Sutton with her stare. “I knew you were serious about her, but Jesus.”
“We asked for the trade.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Taylor started for the door. “Forget I asked. I don’t need this before a big game.”
“Jon touched her.”
Taylor froze. “What do you mean?”
“He touched her, Taylor. An athletic trainer who was hired by our manager, someone we’re supposed to trust, assaulted and threatened Kenzie.” Sutton stared out the big windows in her room, the sun breaking through the fog.
“What did he do to her?”
“I can’t even say it without wanting to throw up.”
“Why didn’t you tell us? He checks Tara after every game.” She ran her hands through her short hair. “What the fuck is he still doing on our staff?”
Sutton looked at Taylor again, this time with wet eyes. “It’s a he said–she said situation. They wouldn’t fire him, and the best offer we could agree on was a trade. I had to go with her because I believe her. Without a doubt.”
“And Bob doesn’t.” Taylor slammed her fist on the desk by the door. “We should all threaten to walk out.”
Sutton shook her head.
“No? Why the fuck not?”
“Kenzie thinks I stayed with the Hurricanes because I didn’t want to leave my team. She can’t know the truth until after the season’s over.”
“What is the truth?”
“Bob threatened to sue me for breach of contract if I left the team.”
“You may be breaking your contract, but he’s also responsible for the safety of his team. Like not hiring dirtbags.”
“He made it clear how deep his connections went. I couldn’t cause any problems or push the trade issue without major consequences to my career, which is why I didn’t tell you, either. But I promise you, Tara was safe the whole time. I’ve been watching Jon,” Sutton said, wiping away a tear that managed to escape her lashes.
“You could’ve told me…”
“He threatened to destroy Kenzie’s career, too, if I said anything. They’d blacklist her, Taylor. I couldn’t let him do that.” She sat on the bed and broke down. Every emotion she had muted over the past months finally got the best of her, coming to the surface as hot tears.
Taylor approached Sutton slowly and started to pat her back. Emotional displays didn’t often happen between them. “Why didn’t you tell Kenzie?”
“I couldn’t handle the thought of her not playing because of me or sticking around here and having to see him. I needed to know she was as far away from him as possible. I pushed her to come forward about Jon, and I told her everything would be all right.”
“What about playing overseas?”
“She wouldn’t leave her dad.” Sutton inhaled deeply and stood. Her sadness was turning back to anger. “She hates me now.”
“For what it’s worth, I don’t think she hates you. She may hate what you’ve done, but not you.”
“I hate me.”
“You’ll make it right.”
“I don’t know if I can, but what I do know is I have to make it right for the team, too.”
“I’ll help you with that.”
“I can’t drag you into this.”
Taylor placed her hands on Sutton’s shoulders. “You’re my best friend. I’m in this with you. We should talk to Tyler. He works with Jon directly and probably knows better than anyone what can be done.”
Sutton thought back to everything Kenzie had told her about the first meeting with Bob, Brett, and Tyler. “Kenzie said Tyler was the only one who seemed genuinely shaken and upset by her story. Tyler really cared about what she had gone through.”
Taylor’s lips tightened into a small smile. “I always liked Tyler. From the first day he was hired. He really cares about the players.”
“You’re right.” Sutton pulled out her phone and sent Tyler a message. “I’ll meet with him before the game.”
“Before? Do you think that’s smart? It’s sort of a semifinal.”
Sutton let out a quiet, genuine laugh. “I’ve played well this far—I doubt this meeting will change that. If anything, he’ll piss me off enough to make me play harder or give me some relief so I’ll be cooler on the field.” She patted Taylor’s shoulder before grabbing her bag and heading out of the room.
She rushed through the hotel, double-checking room numbers along the way. She pounded on Tyler’s door and pushed her way in the moment he opened the door.
“Jesus, Sutton, I know you said it was urgent but calm down.”
She was out of breath. “I’m sorry,” she said, dropping her bag and rubbing her face. “Can we talk about Jon?”
His face fell. “We really shouldn’t.”
“What would it matter if we did? The season is almost over, and I can’t handle the thought of this guy sticking with the team. What if he does this to another player? What if he already did? Can you live with that?” Sutton watched Tyler closely, but his expression never changed. “Wait. Do you not believe Kenzie?”
“I do, it’s just…” Tyler looked like he felt completely helpless, a feeling Sutton knew very well.
“Bob threatened you, didn’t he.” Sutton read it all in his eyes. “I won’t say anything, I promise. He threatened me, too.”
“I heard about that. I’m so sorry, Sutton. I tried to talk to him after the meeting, but he wouldn’t listen to me. He cares about the team’s reputation more than anything. He doesn’t want to be known as the team with the molester on it.”
“Which wouldn’t be a thing if he had fired Jon. Now we’re literally the team with the molester.”
“I know.” Tyler shifted uncomfortably and scratched at his shaved head. “I’ve been subtly limiting Jon’s duties ever since. I don’t want him to do the same thing to another player.”
“Kenzie knew something was off with him from the first time you sent him to check on her.”
Tyler looked at her curiously. “What time?”
“Her shoulder. She fell pretty hard during our game against Orlando, and you sent Jon to make sure she was okay.”
He shook his head. “I never sent Jon to check on any player one-on-one.”
“Huh.” Sutton placed her hands on her hips and looked up to the ceiling. So much could have been avoided if she had taken Kenzie’s discomfort seriously right away and encouraged her to talk to Tyler then. “Are you sure you didn’t?”
“I’m positive. I don’t send anyone to check on players. You know the drill, Sutton. If I think anyone is injured and keeping it to themselves, I seek them out personally after practice or after a game. The other trainers aren’t my messengers. I even keep notes of any injury that catches my eye.”
Sutton felt like she was going to explode. “I thought it was weird, but who am I to question these things?” Now she regretted that she hadn’t. “But at least now we have some kind of evidence.”
“It’s too late. The season’s almost over, and Kenzie’s already on another team. Bob got what he wanted.”
“But Jon’s still employed. We need to do the right thing—I promised Kenzie I would.” Sutton thought of the other promises she’d broken and knew this was one she had to keep no matter what. “Let’s just get through this game, and then we expose Jon, Bob, and every other scumbag who allowed this to happen. We owe this to the nineteen other players on this team. Are you with me?” Sutton extended her hand and smiled when Tyler took it immediately.
“What kind of person would I be if I wasn’t?”
Sutton shook his hand and felt hopeful for the first time in months. She knew the process of uncovering the truth and exposing the team wouldn’t be easy, but knowing she could help Kenzie heal made the challenge worth it. Even if she didn’t get to experience doing the right thing with Kenzie at her side.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Kenzie thought about Sutton constantly, even when she demanded of herself to stop. She tried dating to rid herself of her desire and need for Sutton, but nothing worked. Kissing someone else reminded her of the way Sutton made her feel. She even sought out intimacy to wash her skin clean of Sutton’s touch, but the moment someone else tried to touch her, she’d start to cry.
Everything was impossible to enjoy. She watched her teammates at the bar, celebrating their semifinal win. She had been with Kansas City for two months, but no one felt like a real friend. She missed Chiara and even Sherri. Marybeth was the only Kansas City player who even seemed interested in welcoming and getting to know her. But still, Kenzie couldn’t bring herself to walk over and infiltrate the small group Marybeth was with. She remembered how long it took her to warm up to the Hurricanes. She had very little desire to warm up to the Smoke players, which meant it would take her forever to feel at home.
“Hey, Shaw,” Lucy Aaron, the Smoke’s captain, said as she stepped up to Kenzie. “What’re you doing over here all by your lonesome? The party’s over there.” She pointed to the group currently entertained by Marybeth.
“I’m not much of a party person.”
“I know we’re not your team, but you should be celebrating anyway. The Hurricanes won their semifinal, and we won ours. That means you’d be heading to the finals no matter what. Cheers to that.” Lucy held up her beer.
Kenzie touched her empty glass to Lucy’s drink. “Cheers.” She drank, hoping for a few drops of alcohol to drip from the melting ice. “This is my team—I’m just having a hard time adjusting.”
Lucy leaned forward on the bar to get the bartender’s attention. Kenzie admired her lean back and the sliver of skin on display between her jeans and crop top. She turned back and handed Kenzie a shot. “Here’s some really good whiskey to make up for what you missed in your glass.”
Kenzie took the shot and threw it back, grimacing. She sucked in a breath to quell the fire in her throat.
Lucy looked only mildly uncomfortable after her shot. She ordered two more while Kenzie tried to shake off her reaction. “One more.”
“I can’t.”
“You absolutely can.” Lucy took Kenzie’s hand and gripped the shot with it. “You don’t have to, but I have a feeling you want to.”
Kenzie liked how playful Lucy’s eyes were. They sparkled and hinted at a happiness that ran deep. “You’re right.” She waited for Lucy, and they drank at the same time. This shot went down much smoother than the first. Kenzie only shuddered a little.
“We’re all really happy to have you on our team, Kenzie. It was hard at first because of how sudden we traded Richards for you and the secrecy of it all, but we knew how good you were. You know what they say about a gift horse.” Lucy laughed when Kenzie covered her mouth. “I should’ve said this two months sooner,” Lucy said, looking a little ashamed. “Whatever you need to feel more at home with this team, tell me or tell the coach. We want you to be happy here.”
“I really appreciate that. When I moved in with Katie and Jane, they said something pretty similar, even though I was the stranger coming out of nowhere.”
“I’m happy to hear my players were nice to you.” Lucy tapped her glass on the bar top and looked thoughtful. “So, what did happen with the Hurricanes?”
Kenzie opened her mouth, her tongue loose from the liquor and ready to spill secrets, but she caught herself at the last second. “It was a management issue. I’m just glad it was resolved as quickly as it was and in a way that was beneficial to me.”
“And us. Want another?” Lucy said, pointing to the empty shot glass Kenzie rolled between her palms.
She studied Lucy’s chiseled face and long black hair. Maybe she just had a thing for team captains. She wanted to laugh and yell at herself. She’d learned her lesson with Sutton. “Sure.” The season was almost over, so her ban on drinking should be as well.
“One more and then you’re coming over there with me.”
Kenzie actually enjoyed the third shot and had no fear when she followed Lucy over to the rest of the team. She danced and drank some more, letting the alcohol break down the walls she’d so careful constructed around herself. She was grateful, because she really liked her new teammates. Marybeth kept everyone laughing well into the night, and Kenzie knew she wouldn’t need to work out her abs anytime soon. She felt much more positive by the time she was ready to head home. She checked in with Jane and Katie before calling an Uber. They wanted to stay for a little longer, but Kenzie needed a tall glass of water and her bed before she started to get sloppy.
She had a text waiting for her when she looked at her phone. Clara had messaged her twenty minutes ago asking if she’d like to come over. Clara was tall and blond, with strong broad shoulders and a smile that could melt someone on the spot. But Kenzie couldn’t force a spark for her.
She felt a flush of embarrassment when she recalled the last time she was with Clara, sitting on her couch watching an apocalyptic action movie. Clara was sweet and respectful, moving slowly and letting Kenzie approve or disapprove of her next move. Everything was going so well that Kenzie could even feel herself getting lost in the softness of Clara’s lips, but then Sutton’s face came to mind. And only then did Kenzie feel any real physical response to her date. She ran from Clara that night and never called her again.
When Kenzie first sought out physical connection after leaving New Jersey, she’d struggled with thoughts of Jon, picturing him when she closed her eyes, but eventually she had pushed his ghost out of her mind with the help of her therapist. Now she struggled to forget Sutton, and so much of her didn’t want to let go.
The longer she stared at Clara’s message and wondered how to respond, the angrier she got. Sutton shouldn’t have this kind of power over her. Not anymore.
* * *
A strange noise woke Sutton from her fitful sleep. She opened one eye first before blinking hard and opening both eyes wide. The moonlight streamed through the windows and painted bright shapes on her wall. She finally recognized the sound as her phone buzzing. Her heart sank when she saw Kenzie’s name on her screen. She checked the time before answering. It would be close to two in the morning in Missouri. She slid her thumb across the screen and put the phone to her ear.
