Top of Her Game, page 5
“Who?” Kristy said.
“Shaw.”
“Yeah. I think so.”
Sutton decided it was her duty as captain to make sure every player felt included. “I’m going to check on her.”
“You do have a knack for making rookies feel welcome,” Taylor said.
She held on to the seats to steady herself as she went to the back of the bus. Everyone was engrossed in their bus activities and didn’t even glance at her. When she got to Kenzie’s row, she realized Kenzie had been reading. The book was thick with a small font. She stood in the aisle, not wanting to startle Kenzie, until she finally stopped reading.
Kenzie pulled off her headphones and smiled up at her.
“Is this seat taken?” Sutton said, pointing to the seat next to Kenzie.
“Of course not.” Kenzie moved her legs to let Sutton pass.
Sutton sat and waited a minute before speaking. She didn’t want to intrude, but she also couldn’t bear the thought of Kenzie feeling alone. She pointed to the book on Kenzie’s lap. “What’re you reading?”
Kenzie eyed her suspiciously.
“What’s that look for?”
“I’m trying to decide whether or not you’ll laugh at me,” Kenzie said.
Sutton held up her right hand and covered her heart with her left. “I promise I won’t.”
Kenzie closed the book and showed Sutton the cover. “The third Harry Potter book.”
“Very cool.”
Kenzie’s eyes brightened. “Have you read it?”
Sutton shook her head. “No, I haven’t.”
Kenzie’s excitement disappeared and silence stretched on between them. It turned awkward.
“I’ll let you get back to reading, then. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Kenzie held the book to her chest. “You didn’t, not really. I’ve read this so many times at this point, I just like to travel with it. Like a security blanket.”
“Do you not like traveling?”
“It’s not my favorite thing. I get restless pretty easily, so I like to have something for my hands and mind to do.” Kenzie put her headphones away. When she sat back up, she flipped her long hair over her shoulder.
Sutton caught the scent of her shampoo and a subtle perfume. She felt a pleasant tightness in her chest she couldn’t ignore no matter how hard she tried. “You smell very nice.”
“It’s my shampoo.” Kenzie grabbed a strand of her hair and brought it under her nose and across her face. “It’s a lavender calming shampoo. I’ll take all the help I can get with this crazy hair.”
“You have great hair,” Sutton said quietly, wanting the compliment to be exclusively between the two of them. “It suits you, and you wear it well.”
Kenzie tucked the strand she was playing with behind her ear and said a coy thank-you.
For the rest of the bus ride to New York, Sutton watched Kenzie out of the corner of her eye, only interrupting her reading from time to time to say something about the upcoming game.
Once the bus arrived at the home arena of the New York Lightning, everyone stood and stretched their limbs. The drive wasn’t a long one, but it was enough to make them antsy. The excitement of their second game didn’t help. Sutton stood after Kenzie got her stuff together and shuffled into the aisle. Before Sutton could step forward, Kenzie turned around to say something, bumping into Sutton and knocking her back into the seats. Sutton erupted in laughter while Kenzie looked horrified and covered her mouth. Kenzie didn’t move when Sutton stood up again, which left Sutton very little space. Her front was pressed against Kenzie’s side and she was still smiling.
“Come on,” she said, standing behind Kenzie and placing her hands on her waist. “I’ll guide you to make sure you don’t knock anyone else over.” They walked slowly down the bus aisle, Sutton pulling Kenzie back or swaying her to the side just to make her laugh. They were giggling when they stepped off the bus, standing close to one another. A crowd had gathered. Hurricane fans cheered for Sutton and a few even shouted Kenzie’s name. Their phones were out, and they asked for pictures and autographs. Sutton noticed a strange look on Kenzie’s face. She stepped away from Sutton and started toward the players’ entrance.
Sutton noticed how quickly she walked, like she couldn’t put space between them fast enough. She wondered if she had done something wrong. She put on a smile and waved to the fans as she walked toward the building. She caught a quick glimpse of a young girl no older than six, wearing her jersey. Sutton ran up to the crowd of people standing against a metal barrier and leaned in to give that little girl a high five. The expression on her face lit Sutton’s heart up like a Christmas tree.
She heard a trainer calling her name—duty called—but she checked on Kenzie as soon as she could.
“You seemed a little freaked out back there.” Sutton dropped her gear in front of her locker.
“I’m still not quite used to the fans—people wanting to meet me. So strange.”
“They’re great. Fans on the road are very special. It’s hard being a fan of the away team, and it’s rare to have your favorite player in town.”
“I bet you always draw a crowd.”
She held her index finger and thumb apart. “A small one, but you’ll start to as well. Come on.” Sutton held out her hand. “Trust me?”
Kenzie nodded hesitantly and took her hand. Sutton checked with the staff and got the okay to step out for a minute.
She led Kenzie back to the crowd, which was still large and standing in wait. She dropped Kenzie’s hand and waved. The fans erupted in a fresh round of cheers and applause. She encouraged Kenzie to wave, then took her phone out, pulled Kenzie against her, and they posed for a selfie with the fans in the background.
Once they were back in the locker room, Sutton showed Kenzie the picture. “All these people show up for us, and they’re what make every game a great experience.”
Kenzie smiled at the picture, but Sutton wasn’t paying attention to the picture when Kenzie looked back at her.
“We do have the best fans.”
Sutton nodded. “We definitely do.”
Chapter Eight
Sutton pulled off her boots and threw them into her locker. She hated losing, but she really hated losing early in the season. They’d never had a problem breaking through the Lightning’s defensive line before, but this game was a joke. She took off the captain’s armband and started to wind it up, but she thought better of throwing it. The band and her role still deserved respect. She grumbled to herself and took a seat.
“Okay everyone,” Brett said as he stepped into the locker room. “I know we’re all disappointed.”
“I’m fucking pissed,” Sutton said loudly.
“Me fucking too.” Kristy started unlacing her cleats angrily, whipping the laces around.
“This was a tough loss, but I’d rather it happens now instead of fifteen games later when we’re fighting for a playoff position. We have a lot to learn from today’s game, and I’ll have a detailed list at practice. See you on the bus in thirty minutes.” Brett didn’t cast a glance over his shoulder as he left.
Kristy looked at Sutton oddly. “I’m used to being yelled at when we lose.”
“Maybe Brett isn’t a yeller,” Sutton said. “We shouldn’t have lost today.”
Lacey pulled off her gloves and dropped them into her bag. “You can say that again.” Her tone was heavy with disappointment and guilt. Goalkeepers always took losses personally because a ball shouldn’t get past them. Ever.
“Okay, listen up.” Sutton stood tall despite her wilted spirit. She had a responsibility to lead and encourage this team. “We lost ourselves during the second half. We got sloppy and slow, and I don’t know why. I saw you all trying, and I know I was, too.” She scanned the faces staring back at her, but Kenzie’s head was down. “I noticed how our strikers were pushing and trying to outsmart the defense. I saw how the midfielders scrambled to create opportunities, and I know the defense worked hard to be everywhere at once. We lost and that’s on us, but it doesn’t mean we failed.”
Taylor raised her hand. “But a loss is a failure.”
“Only if you let it be, and I refuse to. We’re a great team. Brett will have notes for us, and we’re going to be better because of this game. If you don’t believe that, your negativity will be more detrimental to this team’s success than today’s loss.” Sutton saw a few of her teammates nod, but Kenzie continued to stare at her feet. “Who’s a force of nature?” Her question was met with silence. She let out a bark of fake laughter. “I’m sorry, maybe you didn’t hear your captain. I asked, who is a force of nature?”
“We are,” the whole team said with little enthusiasm.
“And why are we a force of nature?”
“Because we’re Hurricanes.” This time, their response was more forceful.
“That’s right and let’s not forget it.” Sutton clapped her hands and went about stripping her uniform and heading to the showers. She didn’t see Kenzie again in the locker room.
When she climbed the steps to the bus, she spotted Kenzie in the same seat as earlier with her headphones on and hood up. All the leave-me-alone signals were loud and clear, so Sutton sat in her usual spot beside Taylor.
The drive back to New Jersey was quiet. Only a slight murmur of voices could be heard over the bus engine. Sutton couldn’t stop checking over her shoulder from time to time, just to see what Kenzie was up to. Every athlete dealt with a loss differently, but Sutton would have been lying if she said she didn’t prefer the vocal approach. Chiara was sitting by herself, so Sutton switched seats and joined her.
“Hey, Cap,” Chiara said before looking back to her phone. She was playing a Match 3 game.
“How are you doing?”
“About as well as everyone else. I’m pissed and disappointed but looking ahead to the next game.” She locked her phone and faced Sutton. “How are you taking our first loss? Your speech was pretty good.”
“Could’ve been better.”
“Yeah, but I’m sure you weren’t expecting to give a post-loss motivational speech so soon.”
“Very true.” Sutton looked back again as she tried to wrangle her thoughts. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“It’s about Shaw.”
“Oh.” Chiara shifted uncomfortably, a move that intrigued Sutton.
She wanted to know more about Kenzie, but she respected Kenzie’s right to a private life, and it’d be wrong for her to abuse her friendship to find out more about Kenzie.
“You two played together for a while, right?”
“Two seasons in college.”
“Did she always take losses like this?”
“Like what?” Chiara turned to look at Kenzie and shrugged.
“Quiet, isolated, I don’t know.” Sutton felt silly now for asking. “Never mind. I’m sorry.”
“That’s just Shaw,” Chiara said simply, like Sutton should already know this. “She always sat alone on bus trips and always kept to herself after losing a game. Our team was thick as thieves, joking around with each other constantly, but we knew Shaw would fly solo when we traveled. It’s like she gets into her own little zone.”
Sutton nodded, feeling slightly better to know this wasn’t new behavior.
“If I can be completely honest,” Chiara said, “I was shocked to see you sitting with her earlier.”
Sutton made a face. “You don’t think I messed with her juju, do you?”
Chiara laughed outright, a sound that sounded odd in the quiet melancholy surrounding them. “No. I’ve never known Kenzie to be the superstitious type.”
Sutton pulled off her team snapback and ran her fingers through her hair. She placed the hat back on her head at an angle and decided to ask one more question. “How good were you two together? When you played, I mean.” Sutton wanted to slap herself.
“Very good. Kenzie was rookie of the year, and in that season, she held the record for hat tricks. I was the assist for most of them. We just have this incredible chemistry on the field, and I hope Brett gives her more minutes soon because I want to show off.”
“We got to see a little bit of it during the first game.”
“Sutton, believe me when I tell you that was nothing.”
The sparkle in Chiara’s eye both excited Sutton and made her a little jealous. She was unsure where the latter came from. She slapped Chiara’s thigh. “Can’t wait.”
Sutton returned to her seat, casting one last glance at the back of the bus. This time, Kenzie’s eyes locked on hers. Sutton wanted to join her, make her smile or at least feel a little better about her first loss with the team, but she didn’t feel like she was welcome even as captain. Instead, she went to her own seat and laid her head back. Once they got home, she’d know how to handle the quiet players.
By the time the bus pulled up to the Hurricanes’ headquarters, Sutton was emotionally and physically drained. She said a quick good-bye to her team and dragged her feet as she walked back to her Jeep. The cold, dark night highlighted her discomfort. She couldn’t wait to get home and under her covers. She sat in the driver’s seat and stared out into the darkness, waiting for the energy to start the car. Her phone buzzed in her jacket pocket.
Pulling the phone out of her pocket took all the energy she’d reserved for driving. She was confused when she saw Kenzie’s name on her screen. They had each other’s numbers because of the team contact list, but they had never texted.
Don’t let this loss lead you to believe you’re not a good captain.
Sutton smiled even as the bright light of the screen hurt her eyes.
This is Kenzie, by the way.
Sutton started to respond but another message interrupted her typing.
Kenzie Shaw.
Sutton took a breath and let it out through her nose. She couldn’t fight the smile on her face as she typed a reply. Thanks for saying that. Sutton sent the message, but she didn’t like how cold it read. She typed up another response. And thank you for clarifying. I have you saved in my phone as Chicken.
Sutton waited for a response, but after five minutes, she started her car and drove out of the parking lot. She was almost halfway home when her phone buzzed. She waited until she hit a red light to check her message.
Are you kidding?
Sutton let out a small laugh. At the moment, yes. But I’m changing it as soon as I get home.
Drive safe.
The light turned green, and Sutton tucked her phone back into her pocket. She thought about Kenzie and her impromptu message as she drove the last ten minutes to her house. Kenzie didn’t have to message her at all, even to make her feel better as the team captain. She thought about their earlier conversations on the bus and was very happy to think they had started to forge a real friendship. As soon as she pulled into her long driveway, she took out her phone. Sutton played around in her contacts for a second before opening her messages again.
Changed it. Thanks again for the nice message, Chicken.
I can’t believe that’s the nickname that’s going to stick.
Believe it, baby. Sutton stopped typing immediately and erased the last word before sending her message. She chuckled when Kenzie sent only an eye roll emoji back. What are your plans for our off day tomorrow? Sutton second-guessed herself but sent the text anyway with a shrug. It was a friendly question.
Dancing dots appeared and disappeared, and Sutton held her breath as she waited for Kenzie to say anything. At this point, she would’ve taken another emoji.
Laundry. That’s it. Kinda sad, right?
Not sad at all. We all need clean clothes, and I, for one, am thankful you wash yours. I’ve had some stinky teammates in the past.
Gross!
Sutton laughed to herself. She really enjoyed getting Kenzie to react. Can you do your laundry later in the day?
Why?
My lease will be up soon, and I have to car shop. Want to come along and test drive a bunch of cars I may or may not want?
Are you sure?
Sutton stared at her phone. She was confused by the question. Of course I am. Text me your address, and I’ll pick you up around ten.
Okay.
Sutton had a new spring in her step as she got out of her Jeep and walked up to her front door. Her house was chilly and silent. She flipped on a few lights as she bumped the thermostat up to seventy. She sent Rhea a quick good-night message, but she ignored Rhea’s reply. She was just too tired to get involved in what was likely to be a lengthy conversation.
Sutton knew deep down she wasn’t lying. She was tired, but tired of what wasn’t a question she was ready to analyze.
Chapter Nine
“Change of plans,” Kenzie said as she held the door open for Sutton and ushered her into her house. “I forgot I had a thing today, and I didn’t get a chance to message you.” Kenzie watched Sutton take in the modest home. She felt mildly embarrassed by the worn carpet and dated wallpaper.
“Is everything okay?” Sutton asked.
“Yeah, I just forgot I was supposed to help my mom dye eggs for the church’s Easter egg hunt. Looks like you’ll be car shopping solo. I’m sorry.”
Sutton started to undo her jacket and let it fall from her shoulders. “I love dyeing Easter eggs.”
“Kenzie? Who’s at the door?”
Kenzie turned to the sound of her mother’s voice then back to Sutton, sheer panic pulsing through her. She tried to pull Sutton’s jacket up, but Sutton fought back. “You don’t want to dye eggs with us.”
“I do, actually.”
“But your lease is almost up.”
“I have a couple months, and I was thinking about keeping my Jeep anyway.”
Kenzie closed her eyes and pressed her fingertips to her forehead. This was her reality. She took a deep breath before shouting an answer to her mother. “I invited someone over to help us. She’s a…” Kenzie looked up at Sutton, completely at a loss. “Teammate,” she said weakly.
