AUGUST, page 7
“Hi! This is Claudia calling from Baptist Memorial Endocrinology. Is this Asia Anthony?”
Reluctantly, I replied, “Yes.” I was already sitting, but my stomach dropped to my toes, causing me to stand and pace.
“Can you verify your date of birth?”
After doing so, I blinked back tears of fright.
“Awesome!”
She was too fucking chipper for a time like this.
“We received a STAT referral from one of the ER physician’s in reference to an abnormal MRI or your brain. Have you been informed?”
“Yes.” Although I couldn’t recall, the ER doctor had definitely given me my results.
“Okay, great! Dr. House is one of the best physicians in the region when it comes to these types of tumors…”
Tumor!
My heart fell through my stomach. I dashed to the bathroom in time to drop in front of the toilet. I placed the phone on mute just as everything in my stomach came up.
“We’re able to get you in tomorrow afternoon if you like.”
I quickly clicked to unmute the call and uttered, “Yes, please.”
I halfway listened to her rattle off my appointment details, dreading everything about the way a body could just break down and stop working. From debilitating migraines to worsening vision, all I could think about was this was what I was always afraid of. I thought I was afraid of losing my sight. However, going blind was the least of my worries.
A few hours later, after I cried until my eyes burned, I answered Nesha’s phone call. Work had been pushed aside, so that I could take a moment to just breathe. All she would do was keep calling me back. If I placed her on do not disturb, she’d send someone to my door. I loved that she was a good friend but right now, I needed peace.
“Damn, you sick again?”
Brushing off her harsh greeting, I nodded. Explaining to her that I was in the middle of a breakdown would only make her think she needed to be here. She was currently on tour and the last thing I wanted to be was a burden.
“Do I need to cancel my next show to come see about you?” she questioned.
I chuckled. “Absolutely not. You’re not about to have your fans sending me death threats.”
Nesha cackled. “Girl! Real Nesha fans know I don’t play about you.”
“And I appreciate you for that. I…promise I’m good.”
“Mm, hm. Well, since you’re good, I need to finally address the eggplant… I mean the elephant in the room.”
“What?” I cracked up.
“August.”
“August?”
“Yes, August. Remember a few days ago, you claimed you and him were just friends. The same August who put his fingers all on you. Then when I told you he put his fingers on you, you said ‘oh’. That August—”
“Okay.” I chuckled.
“I’ve been up and down his IG page, stalking his ass like crazy.”
I hadn’t even been on August’s social media pages yet, and I had plenty of reason to be.
“I’m two seconds from sliding in his DMs.”
“Uhm…” I had to sit up from laying down to address anything about the man who’d left his mark on my house. I couldn’t go anywhere in my house without feeling him there.
“And don’t feed me any bullshit either. You know I’ll jump in his inbox quick.”
Nesha was famous, so she knew a lot of people. It wasn’t anything for her to get August’s attention. My stomach churned for a different reason than it had a few hours ago.
“To be honest, I don’t know him like that.”
She smacked her teeth. “A man you had sleeping in your house?”
“I just met him a few weeks ago,” I admitted.
Plus, I wasn’t about to sit here and tell what little of August’s business I was privy to. Showing up at his job the other day was as far as I was going with the weird shit. Under the guise of dropping him off some food, I arrived at Lily’s just to lay eyes on him once more before the day was over. Running into Faith in the parking lot had me wishing I would’ve kept driving.
“It’s good seeing you again. I’m glad you’re better.”
“Thank you,” I replied with a stiff smile.
Faith giggled. “Girl, you wear every emotion on that beautiful face. I don’t work with August. I’m next door.” She pointed in the direction of a barbershop. “We should do lunch. Also, we’re having a grand opening soon. You should come.”
I smiled and shrugged. “Okay.”
“Come on, let me take you to August. He’s gon’ be speechless, girl.”
I walked into the clean, fresh-scented lobby of Lily’s not even knowing how I was going to explain to him how I knew where he worked. I’d truly found him by coincidence, though. That wasn’t a lie. To say that I was impressed by Lily’s was an understatement. August didn’t just have great taste in clothes. His taste spread to the rich leather couches, glass coffee and end tables, and glass display cases inside the lobby. Large floor-to-ceiling paintings of different years, makes, and models of automobiles stretched across the walls to my left and right.
I met Tez, who introduced himself as Lily’s lobby manager. It was when Faith walked me to the door with OWNER emblazoned on it that I realized August owned the place. He just continued to surprise me. I didn’t leave Lily’s before stopping to talk to Faith again. It turned into a thirty-minute conversation that had me feeling just like I did the day I woke up to her in my room. She was genuine, so naturally I gravitated to her. We exchanged numbers and set up a date for lunch. That was a few days ago, and Faith and I had been keeping in touch since.
“You just met him a few weeks ago, and the two of you are just friends. That means you won’t be mad if I get with him. So are you gon’ hook me up or not?”
Nesha snapped me back to the present with her question.
“I can’t hook you up with a man who’s not looking for someone, Nesha.” I really didn’t have the energy for this shit. My issues were bigger than trying to help Nesha bag a man that didn’t belong to her.
“Every nigga says that bullshit. I can change his mind.”
Therein lay the problem for me. I had no doubts believing that if Nesha shot her shot, August wouldn’t mind catching it. He was my friend, the man who’d single-handedly looked after me without the slightest complaint. Yet he was a man I really knew absolutely nothing about. On the other hand, I felt unexplainable things about him. All I wanted to do was push past his wall.
If Nesha ended up pushing past August’s wall, I’d be devastated.
The next morning, I struggled to see through my glasses as I sat in the lobby of Dr. House’s office. I’d cried all night. So much so that my eyes stung every time I blinked. Then there was the slight film coating my eyes as if I dump salt in them. I was a wreck and had no one here to help hold me up once this man started talking.
Thinking I would have time to pull myself together, I was surprised when a nurse appeared and called my name. Going to the back, being placed into a room and asked several questions was all a blur. As far as I knew, my blood pressure and pulse were good. Really, my heart felt like it was about to split open and pour out into my chest wall.
A light tap sounded at the brown door before Dr. House strolled inside. He reminded me of an older Elijah, only he wore a welcoming smile.
“Anastasia?”
Nodding, I shook the hand that he offered.
“I’m Dr. House. It’s nice meeting you.” He took a seat, typed something on the laptop sitting atop the tiny desk, then crossed his arms over his hefty chest.
I didn’t return the greeting. It wasn’t nice to meet him.
“Alright, so I understand you checked into to the ER with a migraine and dizziness. Is that correct?”
“Yes.”
“Any other symptoms that you can think of? Anything out of the ordinary?”
“Other than the fact that I can’t see…no.” I hated admitting this to anyone. “I’ve had two new prescriptions in the last year.”
He nodded in understanding. “I looked over your chart and I see where you couldn’t recall your last cycle. Is there a chance of you being pregnant?”
I shook my head as he jarred a memory. When I went to the ER, the first thing the nurse did was a pregnancy test. Next, she drew blood. Everything snowballed once I told her that I didn’t remember when my last period was. This shit was so embarrassing.
“I see my gynecologist once a year. I had one then.” Stress was what I thought had made me so irregular. Between moving back to Pensacola and dealing with orders, I’d been on the go so much lately.
“Okay, that’s a place to start. The type of tumor—”
There was that word again. I winced.
“—you have is benign, meaning it’s noncancerous. However, it’s sitting on your pituitary gland. It’s grown a little too much and is pushing up on your left optic nerve. This is the reason you’re losing your vision.”
All at once, I felt a tidal wave of shock and…relief.
“I don’t have cancer?” I asked in a hushed tone.
His broad smile gave me my answer. However, hearing him say, “No, young lady, you don’t,” made my entire life.
If I would’ve had any tears left, I would’ve cried them.
“Are you sure?”
“I see these all the time. It’s as small as a pea but causes the most problems for people.”
I settled for allowing myself to relax so that I could hear what this man’s next steps were for me. While I didn’t have cancer, there was something foreign growing on the inside of me, and it was wreaking havoc on my body.
“With proper medication management, the tumor will shrink. I can’t restore the vision you’ve already lost, but at least we can stop the progression of the loss. I want to also make you aware that these tumors cause reproductive problems. Such as with you not having a period. This type of tumor makes your body believe you’re already pregnant. Therefore, you don’t have a period, and some patients with this tumor even produce breast milk.”
My mouth hung open. He chuckled.
“According to your lab work from the ER, we’ve caught it before it got out of hand. You would’ve eventually experienced those symptoms also.”
“So, how long will the medicine take to start working?” I was just thankful that I was walking out of here with my mind intact.
Dr. House spent the next ten minutes going over my medication, the side effects, and what to expect. Surely, the side effects were daunting. However, if a pill was going to make this tumor go away, I’d gladly take it and deal with the side effects when I crossed that bridge.
Fear had me so trapped that I was too scared to even get this far. Now that I knew what the hell was wrong with me, it was time I move past this and trust that everything in my life was falling right where it needed to.
Like August forcing me to go to the damn emergency room.
Chapter Eleven
AUGUST WELLS
Inside of Asia’s library, I made a full circle, enthralled by the number of books stacked on each of the shelves. Being inside here felt so fucking familiar.
“Valentine’s Day is coming.”
“Yeah, I know.” My mama appeared out of nowhere, as she’d started to do lately. She ran her fingers along a row of books, then turned to me and smiled.
“This Valentine’s Day will be different.”
“No, it won’t. I’ll never look at the day as anything other than the day I lost Granny.”
Mama wagged her finger at me. “Love will have you changing your mind, my sweet child.”
“Love, Mama?”
“Yes, love.” She chuckled. “Men make things so complicated. It’s not hard to love a woman. You should know.”
Now, I looked at my mama like she was crazy. “What’re you talkin’ about? Sure, I love Faith—”
“This isn’t about Faith, August.” Pointedly, she looked at me. “You should get Asia some flowers for Valentine’s Day.”
“Asia?”
Mama rolled her eyes. “What other woman is tugging at your heart?” She hiked a brow.
My forehead crinkled.
“You like her—a lot. And that’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. I’m cool with us just being friends.”
“You’ll change your mind soon enough.”
“She’ll never understand my past.”
“How are things going with Mary?”
Inhaling a deep breath of ocean water, I thought about the last few weeks and pushed the dream from last night to the back of my mind. While my mother was in my head and dreams, Mary was here in the present. Next to June, seeing Mary was the highlight of my day.
“It’s going well,” I said.
“And? What have y’all talked about?”
Uncomfortable, I shifted on the bench. “Nothing. I just read to her.”
Pastor James smirked. “That’s it?”
I shrugged.
“August… if you wanna get better, you have to open up to somebody.”
“Why Mary?” I asked him before, and I was asking him again. There was a reason he chose her. I suspected that her age was part of it, but it was something deeper.
Pastor James sighed and looked out over the water. A couple passed by whom he ducked his head at in greeting. It was Sunday morning, hours before church would start. While I respected Pastor James and his place in my life, going inside of a church was a hurdle I hadn’t jumped yet.
“You and Mary have a lot in common. If you’d open up to her, she’d freely welcome you in to get to know her.”
Opening up meant spilling my fucking feelings.
“A part of maturity is realizing that it’s okay to talk about what you’re going through or what you’ve been through.”
“I’ve talked about it before—”
“Not with Mary. And I’m sure you never kept it a buck with ya psychiatrist.” He pointedly looked at me. “I don’t know how deep you are. All I can do is toss you a life jacket and pray you put it on.” He clapped me on my shoulder and stood. “Talk to Mary.”
As he was walking away, I stopped him.
“What do you know about Asia?” I hadn’t seen her since she brought me lunch. Any time I went to Mary’s, Asia’s Range Rover wouldn’t be in the parking lot. Her presence was inside the apartment though. As if I’d just missed her each time. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear she was dodging me.
“She’s someone else you should open up to. A beautiful young lady with a good head on her shoulders and an equally beautiful heart… that combination doesn’t come around often.”
He took a couple of steps, stopped, and turned to me.
“She’s the only one of Mary’s grandchildren that I would ever consider any of those things. Her father, Elijah, is tough work. From man to man, if he happens to cross you, don’t take it easy on him.” He grinned, then kept on his way.
That was the second time someone had warned me about Elijah.
Despite what Pastor James said, neither Monday nor Tuesday did I do a damn thing but read to Mary. Every time I opened my mouth to ask her about her life or to share mine, I clammed up. Not to mention, it bothered me that Asia really was dodging me.
The following Monday went the same way. I arrived at Mary’s only to be disappointed not to see Asia’s face. Her wig making shit was still in Mary’s apartment, but there were no signs of her otherwise. That shit irked me. Every time I pulled her contact up on my phone, I just stared at the picture of her that I’d taken off of IG and saved to her profile. My fingers wouldn’t type shit out, though.
Valentine’s Day arrived the next day with me waking up out of yet another dream. My mama wouldn’t loose me when it came to Asia. So, before I even started my day, I ordered Asia some flowers. Only then did I have any peace as my day progressed.
The closer noon arrived, I fidgeted around like a kid waiting for Christmas. The alert that the delivery had been made hadn’t reached my phone yet. Impatiently, I waited to see Asia’s reaction to the flowers.
I was too anxious for a nigga who friend-zoned the fuck out of a beautiful ass woman. My emotions pointed too much to me giving a fuck about her. Just to prove to Asia and myself that I wasn’t pressed about her, I put the flowers in her and Mary’s name.
Overthinking was never my thing. But overthinking had me in a chokehold right now. So much so that I deleted the same sentence three times on this email.
“Boss,” Tez called from the doorway. He walked inside my office holding a black vase of red roses. There had to be a couple dozen there.
“This was just delivered,” he said, placing the vase on my desk.
Confused on who the hell would send me flowers, I immediately picked up my phone to call King.
“I’m about to head down the street for a Philly. You want one?” Tez asked.
“Nah, I’m good,” I mumbled.
He slipped out of my office just as King picked up the phone.
“‘Sup, baby?”
“You sent me some damn flowers?”
“Shit, if I did I wouldn’t send yo’ ass any mo’.” I could hear the snarl on King’s face. Now I was really confused.
“Who sent him flowers?” Tiffany butted in from the background.
Baffled, I hung up on King and his wife. Flipping open the small, black card attached to a ribbon, my eyes bucked at the note.
I hope this isn’t too much. Then again, you’ve done so much for me. Happy Valentine’s Day. Asia.
As I leaned forward to inhale the scent of a perfectly lush rose, I imagined I was inhaling the scent of her pussy. Just the thought had my lids closing in ecstasy. Groaning, I leaned back in my chair and plopped my hands over my face. Asia was making this shit hard for a nigga. The buzz on my phone indicated that I had a message.
King: I’ll be there in thirty minutes.
Shit!
Today was the worst fucking day of my life. Yet, I spent the majority of the morning with my mind on a woman other than my granny. I wasn’t sure how, but Asia had my mind in the palm of her hands. So much so that she had blocked out every remembrance of today being one of pain for me. Glancing at the picture sitting on the corner of my desk, I solemnly smiled at Granny’s picture.
