AUGUST, page 5
“And I had to come get you from school.”
Nodding, I replied, “Yes, ma’am.”
“So his grandmother raised him?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure, and I’d never seen his dad at the school.”
For a minute, Grandma was quiet. So was I, thinking about how lonely life must’ve been for August without having his mother. Sure my mother was a complete mess. I still had her, though.
“You two share complicated pasts.”
“We do,” I conceded.
“Therefore you understand how much a person’s impressions matter.”
“I do.” Sighing, I added, “Getting past his wall is almost impossible. In fact, we agreed to be friends.”
“Oh, that’s huff puff. Sure you’re friends in some way. But that’s not the end for you two.”
“How can you possibly know that?”
“How can you not know that. You feel it.”
I did. Strongly. “Well, what do you suppose I do?”
She gave me a look. “Why, Asia?”
“Ma’am?”
“Explain to me why you want to be more than friends with him?”
There wasn’t the least bit of shame talking to my grandmother. She wasn’t going to judge me, and I knew that her advice was sound.
“Well… Would it be crazy if I said that I see something in his eyes.”
“Depends on what you see.”
With an assuredness I felt to the core of me, I said, “They’re begging me to push past his wall. I can’t ignore it.”
Pleased with my answer, Grandma smiled. “Then you do for him what you would want him to do for you if your heart was fragile. Court him.”
I burst out laughing. “Court him, Grams?”
“Yep.” She chuckled.
“How?”
She lifted a shoulder. “You don’t have to be obvious about it, sweetheart. A message here, a note there. Small things to make him see you… not that he doesn’t.”
Toying with my lip, I struggled with my grandmother’s advice. It sounded too much like shit my mother used to do—begging for a man’s attention. Or worse, chasing after a man. Sure something pulled me to August. However, maybe I was thinking too much into it and needed to leave things as they were.
“I don’t know, Grams… I can’t be that woman.”
She slowly recoiled. “What woman?”
I hated to bring Athena into this. My grandmother knew damn well how I felt about the shit she put me through. Athena wasn’t the same woman today. However, our relationship was rocky because she’d lost so much of my youth running behind niggas.
“A woman like my mother used to be.”
Grandma crossed her arms over her breasts and trained her stiff expression on me.
“Anastasia Lynn. I won’t sit here and talk bad about your mother. Did she make some terrible decisions? Of course. We all do. People do odd things in the name of love. If there was ever a chance to fall in love without first making some mistakes, I’m sure most would choose not to make those mistakes.”
I guess she was right. No one really was out here begging for a broken heart.
“Now… Are you gon’ do what I said?”
“No. I think—”
“Asia.” My grandmother’s sharp tone stopped me from backing out. “Love on that man, sweetheart. That’s all he needs.”
Chapter Seven
AUGUST WELLS
I walked inside Mary’s, smiling because I’d found her a new author to try. This reading bug stung me like hell, and now, I was all over social media looking for book recommendations. Word was K. Nicole couldn’t go wrong. So, I ordered three of her books which arrived today.
Her door was cracked opened, so I tapped at it and let myself in.
“Mary,” I called, not seeing her in the living room.
“Be out there in a second,” she responded from the bedroom.
As I neared the living room, my eyes found Asia asleep on the sofa.
“That grandbaby of mine,” Mary fussed with a shake of her head. She was doing fine making her way through the apartment. Still, I placed the books on the table and hurried over to help her the rest of the way to her chair.
“She’s tired.”
“Hmpf. She’s sick—a migraine. Had it all night and refused to carry her lil’ ass to the doctor.”
My chest tightened like she said Asia was dying or something. The unexpected restriction deserved further diving into. However, I dodged it for the time being. Once Mary was safely in her chair, I went to Asia and knelt down by the sofa she was curled up on. First I felt her forehead. Although a spark shot up my arm, she didn’t feel hot to the touch.
The indents on each side of her nose were like deep scars. As if she never removed her glasses. With a quick glance to the end table, I spotted her glasses. Gently, I roused her until her eyes slowly opened. Even with how close I was to her, she struggled to focus on me.
“Hey,” I spoke.
“Hey…” She tried sitting up but palmed her forehead and swayed.
“Come on so I can take you to the doctor.” Standing to my feet, it wasn’t a question.
“No—”
“Yes.” Talking over me was something I used to hate for King to do. Now I understood why he did that shit. My responses would always be dumb as fuck, and he was never going for it. Just like I wasn’t about to go for Asia turning me down.
Sighing, she reached for her glasses, placed them on her nose, then pushed the blanket back to reveal that she was dressed in black tights, black socks, and a slouchy black sweater. Her shoes were on the floor by the sofa. Grabbing them, I slipped them on her feet while she sat on the sofa with her mouth fixed in a slightly opened position. As it always was, her hair was perfect in a messy bun at the top of her head. Her hand went up to mess with it.
“It looks fine,” I said to her. “Mary, we’ll be back.”
“No, no. Take ya time. Make sure she does exactly what the doctor tells her to do.”
Chuckling, I replied, “No worries.”
Before leaving, I put the television on something Mary wanted to listen to and made sure she had a snack and a drink within arms’ reach. Also, I gave her a throw blanket in case she fell asleep while I was gone.
Asia reached for her purse, which was next to her feet. She swayed from standing which made me want to cuss her the fuck out. The fact that she was clearly sick and was worrying Mary had me hot as fuck.
“If I wanted to go to the doctor, I would’ve gone,” she said as soon as we were in the hallway.
“By the looks of it, that’s where you need to be.”
She smacked her teeth. “My head is hurting, that’s all. It’s no big deal.”
“Okay. Let the doctor tell you that.”
“August—”
“I’m not lettin’ you go back to Mary’s without being checked out. For that matter, I’m not gon’ let you have her worried all fuckin’ night. I’on give a damn ‘bout you being mad at me either.”
She remained quiet as we rode the elevator to the lobby and even after she was buckled up in my truck.
“You like to have control, don’t you?”
“I do.” I answered her in the same tone she spoke to me. We were almost to the hospital, and she hadn’t said a word the entire ride.
“What happens when control is taken? Huh? If you lost control of a certain… thing, how would you feel?”
Lost.
“I’d feel like it would only be a matter of time before I explode. So, I try very hard not to lose control.”
“What if it’s out of your hands? Life isn’t so easy that we can pick and choose when or how it falls apart. Losing control of what you think your life will be like is scary.”
Hell if I didn’t know that shit.
“Sometimes, losin’ control is necessary, lil’ baby.”
She turned from looking out of the window to look at me. “What kind of sense does that make?”
“When control is lost, you learn a lot about yaself and people. You learn who’s really there for you. Most of all, you learn how to be grateful for even the smallest shit you probably once took for granted.” As I pulled into the parking lot of the emergency room, stress showed on her face.
“I really don’t want to go in here,” she admitted. Her ass looked terrified.
I parked and cut off my truck before addressing her. “I understand that. Do I like doctors? Hell, nah. However, you’re in pain and you lookin’ pale as fuck in the face.”
She whimpered, provoking me to reach over and pinch her chin.
“It’s gon’ be aight,” I told her. Getting out of my truck, I walked to her side and assisted her out. She pushed my hand away when I tried holding hers.
“I’m okay,” she stated, although she wobbled.
Not giving a fuck what she said, I took her hand anyway. Mary was right. This damn girl was hard-headed. After checking her in and having a seat, it wasn’t thirty-minutes later before her name was called. Just in case time got away from me, I texted Tez to let him know. If I wasn’t back by closing, he knew how to handle shit.
While waiting, I edited a video of me wrapping a brand-new Hellcat. Even though I wasn’t big into social media, promoting myself was a must. Lily’s was my baby, and I wanted the absolute best for her. That meant continuously building clientele.
An hour had passed by the time I finished editing and uploading the finished content. Next, I filtered through my inbox, ignoring thirsty bitches and responding to the people who were actually trying to do business with me. This shit was every day for me. Being single was by choice. If I wanted something nice to slide up in, I had countless women ready to do whatever the fuck I wanted them to.
That shit didn’t appeal to me, though. As I slid to Asia’s page, I watched her last uploaded video, smiling at the screen like her ass was talking to me and teaching me how to bleach some fucking knots. Her voice was so damn smooth, like butter. And her eye contact with the camera was dangerous. Just like I had a gang of bitches in my DMs, I knew the same went for Asia. Niggas were surely deep off in her messages.
Yo’ ass wanna be friends, though.
Judging by the comments, I wasn’t too far from the facts. Niggas were making comments about her smile, dimples, and glasses. Shit, those were the things I noticed first about her too. I didn’t want other niggas lusting over her, though.
The further into the comments I read, the angrier I became. I knew a few of the niggas in her comments. Her ex-nigga, Chad, was teammates with one of the niggas who posted a fire emoji on here. I just shook my damn head.
Asia was professional, being kind to the true commentors and ignoring dusty ass niggas looking for some attention. The old August would’ve gotten with Asia just to piss muthafuckas off. I wouldn’t have cared anything about Asia’s heart. I would’ve cared less about her being sick right now and how that shit had me feeling sick too.
Hours later, a nurse finally took me back to Asia’s room. I’d passed the time reading, of course. Asia was still dressed in the clothes she came in and had a ginger ale in her hand. She was propped up against some pillows and wearing frown lines on her face. Immediately, I was aggravated as fuck.
“Are you in pain, baby?” I was by her side too quickly. Her eyes slowly opened as if she was high. She didn’t have an IV in, but there was evidence that her blood had been drawn. The nurse appeared back in the room with a wheelchair and a packet of papers.
“I gave her a shot of pain medication for the headache. It made her a little nauseous, so she was given something for that too. She’ll be a little dizzy for a while, but it will wear off.”
She handed me the papers. “She gave me permission to give you her discharge papers. All of the information she needs is documented in there. She needs to stay hydrated and rest for the next couple of days.”
“Aight,” I replied.
“Let me help you get her in the wheelchair.”
I glanced at the brown-skinned sister and smirked. “I don’t need that. Thank you, though.”
I took the ginger ale from Asia, poured the contents in the sink, then discarded the can. Back at Asia’s side, I scooped her up like she weighed nothing. As if I’d held her like this a million times, her arms went around my neck, her legs went around my waist, and she laid her head on my shoulder. I carried her out of the hospital, ignoring the fact that she felt so fucking good in my arms.
The nurse said that Asia needed to rest for the next couple of days. Instead of taking her back to Mary’s, I glanced at the paperwork the nurse gave me to see if Asia’s address was on there. Right on the first page, her address was neatly typed right under her name. For a minute, I just stared at the familiar street name. Sighing heavily, I put the papers down and cranked my truck. Glancing at a sleeping Asia in the passenger seat, I knew she’d feel more comfortable at her own house than my house or Mary’s. I just knew I wasn’t leaving her alone.
Leaving the hospital’s parking lot, I rode to my old neighborhood with my music all the way down. This was an unexpected test, one that I wasn’t prepared for but had to take. Twenty minutes later, bile rose in my throat as I entered the neighborhood. The streets were so imbedded in me that, although I kept blanking out, by muscle memory I made it to Asia’s street.
Doing my best to avoid looking in the direction of my old street, which was just a block over, I parked in Asia’s driveway, battling another demon. The outside brought back too many memories. I sat here for a second, ruling my mind to fucking relax. From the colorful flowers planted throughout the yard, to the swing dangling from the porch’s ceiling, this house reminded me of Granny’s in the scariest muthafuckin’ way. The yard was big; big enough to have a multiple children running around and playing in it. A cobblestone pathway flanked with garden lights led to the porch. Every blade of grass was green and vibrant, as if everything surrounding this house was full of life. Again, my gaze turned to Asia. She was still knocked out and not even aware that she was home.
Swallowing every ounce of fear inside me, I cut the engine to my truck, got out, and went to the passenger side. Smelling the air on this side of town was even fucking with me. I swear I could smell the tomatoes from Granny’s garden. Shaking off the emotions running through me, I opened the door and reached inside for Asia’s purse. I fumbled through it for her keys. Before getting her out, I went to the front door and tried each of the three keys before one finally gave. I unlocked the door, cracked it a little, then went back for Asia. Once I was inside her house and had her settled, I tended to my own fucking thoughts.
After I figured I had them in check, I called the only person I knew to call to come help a nigga out.
Chapter Eight
ASIA ANTHONY
Being inside this MRI machine had my heart racing. Headphones did nothing to conceal the loud noises generated by the machine. I figured listening to gospel music would help me relax. Usually, I wasn't claustrophobic. However, between the tight fit and the reason for me being inside of the machine, I was extra worried and nervous as hell.
The tech encouraged me to stay still several times, but I couldn't help fidgeting. Then this Hannibal contraption over my face made it feel like I would suffocate. They told me the scan would take close to forty-five minutes. It felt like I’d been in here all damn day.
While I prayed all would be normal, I knew in my heart it wasn't. Hopefully, the diagnosis wasn't anything terminal. If it was...
Don’t even think like that! It was impossible not to. I’d rather think the worse than to hope for the best. I was too scared to hope for the best. That was why I didn’t even want to come to the doctor. The probability that they would find something scared the hell out of me.
"All done!" The tech's voice crackled through the headphones, halting my racing thoughts.
A light tapping on the window roused me from my sleep. Cracking my eyes open, I immediately closed them again against the swirling of my brain. Shit! This dizziness hadn’t passed yet. It was still morning, and the television was on. I attempted to get up. However, a wave of nausea pushed me back into the pillows behind me. My room door opened. Not recognizing the woman who walked in, I tried to sit up again.
“Lay down, girl,” she softly chided. “Everything’s okay. I’m Faith, August’s friend.”
I stared at her like she was crazy as she came to my bed and touched my forehead.
“How are you feeling?”
“Where’s August?”
“He went home to shower and asked me to look after you until he gets back.”
“Oh…” I relaxed some. With that came the pounding in my head.
“You’re still in pain?”
“Yes,” I replied. Whatever the hell those doctors gave me slipped my mind. All it did was make me woozy and sick to my stomach.
“They didn’t send you home with any medication. What do you normally take for a migraine?”
“Nothing. I just… I just go to sleep. What time is it?”
“It’s a little after ten.”
“Ten? It was after noon when I went to the hospital.”
“I know, boo. It’s the next day,” she stated.
Seriously confused, I panicked. “I have to call my grandma. She has to be worried about me.”
Faith placed her hand on my shoulder to calm me down. “Shh. August has handled all that. Mary knows you’re safe, and she knows you’re resting.”
Tears clogged my eyes and escaped before I could stop them.
“Everything’s okay, Asia. I’m going to grab you what I would take for a migraine. Are you allergic to ibuprofen?”
I shook my head ‘no’.
“Okay, great,” she replied. “I’ll be back in just a second.”
Faith disappeared from the room as I silently cried. Everything wasn’t okay. If I remembered correctly, I had test results proving that there was something wrong with me. The fear inside me rose up. Facing my fears was so fucking complicated. I just wanted to do this shit and get it over with. On the other hand, I was too fucking afraid to do anything except be afraid.
