Seeking Two Lovers, page 6
“Yeah.” I wiped my palms on my filthy jeans. “I’m…not good at this sort of thing. Communicating. Social stuff.”
“I think you’re doing just fine.” She patted my arm, then squeezed, the lingering touch and soft smile still curving her lips settling my insides the slightest bit.
“I heard you talk about puking when your co-worker sang that song on Monday.” More sewage from my mouth, but I figured she ought to hear the reason I’d found the balls to speak to her.
“The joy of the Lord bullshit?” she asked with a snort.
A grin flashed over my face as yet another piece of my insecurities melted away. “I’ve felt that way for years.” I wasn’t about to tell her it had happened the night I’d vomited over our kitchen floor. “You grew up in a church, I’m guessing.”
“Yep.” Lily didn’t sound too thrilled about her past. “You?”
“A cult.” I’d never admitted that to anyone but Grey, but something…tangible drew me to Lily. Like she got me, could understand me without having known me for more than a fast minute.
“How long has it been since you escaped?”
The wording she chose intensified my feeling of connecting with her, hitting me hard in the chest. “Nine years—not fucking long enough.”
“Only one for me, and I hear that loud and clear.” Lily smiled up at me, sending those jitters back through my insides even while I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and kiss away whatever darkness she might hide away inside her like I did.
I held open the sandwich shop’s door, and she passed through, a cloud of vanilla swarming over my nose.
Of course she would smell as delicious as she looked.
My mouth watered and continued to long after we ordered at the counter and found a corner table to tuck ourselves away into.
She’d taken off her sunglasses and finally gave me her eyes as we settled across from one another.
I stared, wondering how the fuck I could feel so much for someone I knew so little about.
She stared—and smiled, easing some of my anxiety. “So.”
“Yeah.” My own grin felt lopsided, and I kept my lips closed to hide my crooked teeth. Heat flooded me, and I glanced around the shop.
“Were you always shy, or did the cult do it to you?”
Well, fuck.
My grin faded, and I rubbed a hand over the stubble along my jaw.
“Shit,” Lily muttered. “Sorry. I tend to open my mouth a lot without thinking first.”
Strangely enough, I wouldn’t mind her mouth opening for me in other ways even though I’d never had a woman go down on me. But for some reason, I didn’t mind her probing at the personal shit either. Maybe she felt the same thing between us, whatever it was, and wanted to figure it out. Maybe even expand on it a bit.
“I, uh, was always shy, I think.” I cleared my throat. “But growing up on the compound definitely didn’t help matters any.”
“Does it make you uncomfortable to talk about your childhood?”
I’d only ever spoken to Grey about that shit, and even he didn’t know all the details. “I’m not fond of it,” I told her, sitting back in my chair and laying my sweating palms on my thighs, determined to keep them still. “Honestly, it was horrid. The shit of nightmares—and I still have them sometimes. It wasn’t pretty.”
“I’m sorry.” Warmth filled her eyes, as though she understood. “I had a good childhood, well, it had seemed that way until I grew up and decided to make my own decisions about what I believed in. It took a lot of shit to get me where I am today, but I’m not sure I would change my past. It created who I am.”
“I would change it all,” I stated without hesitation, but the image of Grey floated through my mind, heating my chest like it always did when I thought of him. If I hadn’t grown up on that compound in New Hampshire, I wouldn’t have met my best friend, my semi-other half.
Our order number was called out from behind the counter, keeping me from overthinking. I hopped up to retrieve our lunch.
We ate a few minutes in silence, taking care of the hunger we had due to working all morning.
“Tell me about this job that makes you look like you could use a swim in the ocean,” Lily said.
Heat rushed to my face again. “Sorry I’m filthy.”
“I don’t give a shit—just making an observation. Personally, I find your appearance ten times hotter than a man dressed in a suit and tie.”
She hadn’t seen Grey in his work clothes.
I blinked the image from my mind, wondering why I’d even gone there.
“Landscaping,” I muttered.
Lily smirked, glancing at the logo on my shirt. “I kinda figured that one out on my own.” Her dark eyes sparkled like she flirted.
We fell into easy conversation about what we both did for a living, neither of us touching on the topic of our past again. That connection had settled inside me like a carefully-laid boulder, situated in such a way I wouldn’t ever forget its presence. Finding out she enjoyed chardonnay over beer, loved to lay on the beach and just be as the sun baked into her skin, and taught grade-school kids caused flowers to spring to life around the garden she’d created inside my mind.
“You’re beautiful.” I’d blurted an interruption, cutting her off mid-sentence about her piece-of-shit car she’d gotten for a few grand to haul her ass around town.
Pink highlighted her cheekbones. “Thanks.”
I swallowed, glancing down at the napkin I’d crumpled atop my plate.
“You’re pretty damn hot yourself.”
Barely lifting my head, I met her gaze. I’d seen lust aplenty, but more than mere want for release radiated from her eyes.
“Can we do this again?” she asked, her tone more husky than bell-like. “Because I’ll be honest, Blaine. I’d really like to get to know you better.”
“There isn’t much to know.”
Nothing worth a damn, anyway.
Lily leaned onto the table, her gaze steady. Searching. “How about you let me decide that for myself?”
Because I could easily fall for you, and where would that leave me when you find out I’m nothing special?
“Blaine.”
“Hmm?” I blinked her back into focus.
“How about we exchange numbers? Text a little bit. Chat some more. I’d love to get together again, but I’m also open to just being friends if that’s all you’re able to give right now.”
I could always use another friend.
Not that anyone would ever take Grey’s place.
“Sure. I’d like that.”
We ambled back toward the cafe a few minutes later, walking closer than before, our sides brushing on occasion. Each and every time, tingles raced through me, and I kept my hands shoved in my jeans pockets so she wouldn’t see them shake.
I followed her to her beat-up blue car, an eyebrow raising at its age.
“She’s old and a piece of shit, just like I’d said,” Lily said with a laugh, “but she’s dependable and gets me to and from work. And she’s all mine.” The possessiveness in her tone layered yet another bit of beauty to the land of Lily inside my head.
She’d escaped too. Experienced freedom from a stifling past.
And goddamn, how I wanted to haul her up into my arms, squeeze her tight, and devour her mouth.
Stepping back, I cleared my throat. “Talk soon?”
Her smile sprinkled a few raindrops over the flowers she’d sown in that garden. “Definitely.”
My legs shook while walking back to the job site to pick up my work truck, but I’d never been happier.
I carried around the secret of Lily in my heart, just as possessive over what she’d created inside me as she was over that POS car.
9
Greyson
I ended up working late and didn’t have time to run home to shower before my date with Lily.
Heading out for the night, I texted Blaine what I often did when on the prowl for a hookup. He shot back a thumbs up before I even walked out of my office.
He’d been quieter than normal since the evening I hadn’t changed the news station quickly enough. My usual pushing for him to open up and talk about shit went ignored, worrying me even more.
Blaine didn’t do well when he got inside his head, but I loved him enough to respect his boundaries.
Some of the shit he’d gone through he’d shared briefly and never touched upon again. The last thing I wanted to do was bring it to the surface of his mind and start back up the nightmares he suffered from for years after moving to the West Coast with me.
At least he hadn’t shouted out in his sleep since then—not that I’d have minded crawling into bed with him and holding him until he quieted and rested again.
I missed having him in my arms like that but certainly didn’t wish those dreams to return. To have a man bigger than me shivering and shaking, clinging to me with grasping hands, outside sex…
In those moments, I felt needed and loved, able to give the nurturing I missed out on.
And secretly craved.
Perhaps once Higgins dug up some dirt—and hopefully exposed the truth about the cult—Blaine would be able to move on.
Pushing aside thoughts of home, my best friend, and longings that would never be fulfilled, I climbed into my car, ready for a drink.
Maybe a good fuck if Lily and I hit it off. With how we teased and messaged each other, I had high hopes.
I pulled into the valet out front of Yachtman’s and handed over my keys as an old blue clunker puffed smoke and stopped behind me. The car appeared ready to shit the bed, and I went to turn away—until my gaze slid over the windshield and the driver behind the wheel.
Her.
Bikini girl.
I grinned, and she climbed out of the car, hitting all my goddamn feels with a simple clash of gazes that knocked my world off its axis, same as the first time I’d seen Blaine.
My breath left my lungs like I’d been punched in the gut.
Hair in soft waves over her shoulders, a shift of her body sent tresses over the hint of cleavage that played peekaboo with a blouse meant to tease. It was white with a deep slash across the chest, offering a tantalizing view to make men’s mouths water. She wore a flirty skirt—also not red—and strappy heels that made her legs appear longer than possible for her petite height.
She handed over her keys and moved toward me with purpose, assurance and sensuality with every step swaying that damn skirt I wanted to sneak beneath. Not once did she glance over at my vintage Ferrari, and her slow perusal over my designer suit didn’t light up a calculating gaze like it did with some dates. Nothing but lust rested in her eyes when she finally lifted her focus to my face.
Fuck yes.
“Scott?” Her low, husky tone hit my dick with a shot of lust-filled adrenaline, and I held out my hand.
Her small palm slid over mine, and I lifted the backs of her fingers toward my mouth. I always went by my surname when meeting with hookups, so I didn’t bother correcting her.
“Lily, I’m assuming?” I brushed my lips over her knuckles, bummed as fuck she’d chosen to ignore my…request she wear red.
Pink stained her cheeks even though she didn’t text like an innocent, her pupils dilating enough that I knew we headed down the track I’d hoped for.
“You’re taller than I expected,” she stated bluntly, tilting her head back to hold my gaze.
“And you’re even more gorgeous in person.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere,” she said with a laugh that didn’t sound like contrived flirting to weasel her way into my wallet like most of the women I’d gone out with in the past.
I joined in with a chuckle, my dick ready to roll whenever the fuck she wanted. While I normally would have gone straight for the sex talk, I tucked her hand in my elbow and led her into the restaurant because her honesty was refreshing as fuck.
Alluring as hell. Same as Blaine had been at ten years old.
And I decided I wanted more than just a quick romp between the sheets.
“Good to know,” I said, “but maybe later?”
“Maybe later,” she agreed, glancing up at me again with those big eyes a man could lose himself in.
“I hope you like seafood.”
“As long as its cooked and not wrapped in seaweed, I love it. Otherwise?” She shuddered.
Another chuckle left me at her honesty.
The hostess led us to one of the private nooks I’d reserved for the night, pouring the chardonnay I ordered before leaving us alone.
I lifted my wine glass in the dimness lit by a lone candle flickering between us. Soft instrumental music filtered through our little corner, helping to set the mood of an intimate dinner. “What should we toast to?”
Lily licked her lower lip, and I wondered over the flavor of her gloss, how well it would taste on my tongue. “To new adventures.”
“And to fantasies fulfilled?”
“Yes, please.”
We both sipped, and I stared as she swallowed. “I enjoy hearing you say those two words.”
“As bossy as you seem, I’m not surprised.”
I barked out a laugh at her candid reply. “I think I like you, bikini girl.”
“Feed me, put on those gray sweats for me, and I’ll make my decision about you.” Her dark eyes flirted, chubbing my dick back up.
“You’re a tease.”
“And you aren’t?” she shot back before sipping her wine again.
“Touché.”
“So, what do you do for fun, Scott?” Lily set her wine aside, and in that moment, I realized she wasn’t some shallow young woman out to strictly sow wild oats. She also wasn’t just hungry for dick but personable in a way I hadn’t expected from someone on the hookup section of Missing Link.
She intrigued me enough that no sixth sense of wariness tingled in my brain. Add in that she hadn’t given my car or my tailored suit worth more than her car the time of day, and I was on board with doing the same.
“Surf. Work.”
“You work for fun?” One of her eyebrows arched upward.
“I love numbers—”
She snickered, shaking her head.
“What?”
“Please don’t tell me you’re an accountant.”
“Financial advisor.”
“Thank God.”
I tipped my head to the side, watching as she took a long drink from her glass. “Are we going to bookmark that for later or…?”
“Ex-fiancé.”
“Ah. The man must have been a numbers geek.”
She nodded. “We’re still good friends, but he has a husband now.”
It took me a few seconds to process what she’d stated without a hint of anger lacing her words or tone. “Would that have anything to do with the whole crossing of swords limit?”
“Yep.” She popped the P, and I had to fight off the grin wanting to escape my lips at her refreshing truthfulness.
Fuck, Lily could easily sneak her way into my life, same as Blaine and Meryl.
“How badly did he hurt you?” I asked, wondering over how jaded she might be.
“No more than I hurt him.”
We stared at one another, a heaviness settling over a conversation I’d expected to be lighthearted and flirty.
Our waiter arrived, breaking the tension.
“Lily?” I offered for her to go first.
“You can order for me.”
She hadn’t even looked at the menu, so I did as suggested, choosing the grilled halibut with smashed fingerlings and tomato butter for her. Lily made a low sound of appreciation in her throat.
“And for you, sir?” our waiter asked.
“I’ll have the Dungeness crab cioppino.”
“Can I have a glass of water too, please?” Lily asked as our waiter gathered the menus.
“Of course.” He left us after a brief nod, and I turned my focus back on Lily, some unnamed part of me pleased as hell that she’d asked me to order for her.
“Do you enjoy spending time at the beach?” I asked, praying like hell she’d say yes since my back yard consisted of one and I spent a lot of my free time riding the waves.
“I’ve been known to hang out one too many hours baking in the sun and cooling off in the salt water, yeah. Haley and I both. She’s my cousin. We share an apartment over on Danson Street.”
“How long have you been on the West Coast?”
“Am I that obvious?” she asked with a light laugh.
“You have a slight accent that sounds a hell of a lot like Philly.”
“I do not.”
“You do too.” I grinned and repeated a word she’d said twice in the last few minutes. “Wooder.”
“Water.”
“Exactly,” I said with a chuckle.
She laughed along with me. “I did grow up in Philly. You?”
“Boston. New Hampshire in the summers.”
“Do you miss the East Coast?”
“Not one bit,” I admitted without hesitation. “I hate the snow, the cold.”
Lily fake shuddered. “Me. Too. I’ll never move back there. You couldn’t pay me to.”
I wondered if that ex of hers had any bearing on her dislike of the eastern part of the US but wasn’t about to bring back in that seriousness from earlier. “Your write-up said you’re a teacher.”
“Mmm.” Lily swallowed her sip of wine and nodded.
“I’m guessing you like kids.”
“I enjoy teaching them, but I have zero interest in having any of my own, if that’s the info you’re probing for.”
Score another point for the near-perfect woman with the gorgeous eyes.
“Your mom isn’t on your ass to give her some grandkids?”
Lily waved her hand. “My two older sisters already took care of that problem.”
“So, you’re free to live your future however the hell you want.”
“Yep.” Again with that popped P, her eyes lighting with…life.
I found myself leaning forward, wanting to know more—learn everything I could about Lily who didn’t hold back with her thoughts. She didn’t play games, which I could appreciate, and until we finished our dinner, I decided I had to hang onto her until Blaine was ready again.
