Desiring an Angel, page 19
part #1 of Missing Link 3 Series
“Are you alright?” she echoed, emphasis on wondering the same about me.
“I’m fine.”
“You—you’ve never asked me…um…well, it’s been a shitty couple of days.”
“Why?” I surprised myself by asking since I’d been enjoying the silence between us.
She blinked rapidly as though trying to clear her vision, or perhaps her mind, of confusion over my strange question.
I hadn’t inquired about her day or her feelings since meeting her—not a single time.
Asshole, much?
I didn’t have to get involved with my emotions, but common courtesy would be required if we decided as a whole to move forward in our relationship, the idea of which still made me want to dig in my heels and deny the possibility because…noise.
“I keep messing up at work,” she admitted, returning to washing dishes. “My focus is there—honestly, bagging groceries is no different than organizing closets.”
She definitely had a way with that. I enjoyed the hell out of the tidiness she left behind when she couldn’t sit still. That part of our personalities clicked perfectly.
“But then a squirrel snatches my attention. A screaming kid. An old man bent over his cane trying to carry two bags of groceries. My cashier’s body odor that makes me grimace and wonder why the hell he doesn’t shower. Or maybe he can’t afford deodorant. One manager twirls keys in his hand nonstop, and I can’t help but think they’re going to fly off his fingers someday, hit a woman’s face, blood will be everywhere, and a lawsuit will end up bankrupting the store so I’ll lose my job.”
Words poured from her lips like normal, and I got what she was saying without growing too annoyed over her chatter.
She faced distractions left and right with the constant ebb and flow of customers.
“You need to see a doctor,” I interjected, my stern words snapping her jaw shut.
Shoulder hunched, she continued washing and rinsing dishes before handing them to me.
“I—I won’t have insurance for another three months or so, and that’s only if I don’t get fired. My one shift manager understands ADHD—she gave me her mother-in-law’s number. She’s a doctor. Her husband’s mom, not my manager. She said the office would offer me a payment plan if I pay cash, but I can’t afford it right now since Nora shut off my cell this morning.”
She whipped her head up, her eyes wide as though she hadn’t meant to share that bit of news.
“Don’t tell Ash,” she rushed to whisper. “He’ll be worried. I don’t want to upset him. But without a cell, I can’t check online to find the cost of cell phones. I don’t even have much cash to get an Uber to take me to a cell phone store when it’ll probably be a waste of time because I don’t have money for one anyway.”
I stood silent, drying dishes as she blathered on about finances. My usual suspicions when it came to women attempting to get more from me and Ash than a hookup rose to life in my mind—not for the first time.
Or perhaps I grasped at straws to find reasons the triad wouldn’t work.
Yes, Skylar seemed genuine most of the time, but I wondered how much of the attention she showed Ash and attempted to give me came from a heartfelt place.
Was she after handouts? Ash already spoiled her plenty by offering her a place to live and feeding her.
Did she truly care about Ash at all? It might appear so, but neither of us knew her well enough to trust her intentions. She’d been kicked out of her sister’s house, desperate for someone to step in and rescue her.
My forehead dented at the possibility she put on a show, one we’d seen a couple of times before feelings got tangled up. Ash would be devastated to learn she’d lied. While I didn’t mind being his rock to lean on when emotion overwhelmed him, my guts tightened over the thought of him having to face more grief and heartache.
Skylar continued to spew her woes since I’d asked for her mouth faucet to turn on, but I tuned her out.
She needed to take her manager’s mother-in-law up on the payment plan and get herself sorted to ensure she kept her job and started saving money in order to find her footing financially.
Noise filled my ears, and the need to escape moved me to hang up the damp hand towel and walk away without excusing myself.
I’d been called a coldhearted bastard more than once in my lifetime, and I owned that shit since I seemed unable to empathize or take pity on people.
Skylar’s words cut off mid-sentence as I left her alone in the kitchen, desperately needing the silence of my office.
I shut the door firmly behind me.
“Goddamm.” Weariness took root in my ears and slid down my spine. I sat hard on my chair, releasing a heavily grunted exhale.
Blessed fucking silence I never got enough of anymore.
I couldn’t imagine what our acquaintances were going to think of our houseguest and her constant whiplash-inducing chatter.
We would have a houseful in a couple of weeks to celebrate Ash’s birthday. Since he enjoyed socializing, I always packed our home full of people to take his mind off the fact he celebrated every year without Archer. His birthday tended to be the second worst day of the year beyond the anniversary of his brother’s death.
I’d already set that plan into motion from caterers to decorations and invitations—and I couldn’t imagine what kind of ripples Skylar would make amongst our guests.
The usual cocktail-sipping, upper class, quiet conversationalists we’d come to know in the area would stare at Skylar as she prattled on and wonder what the fuck we were thinking bringing her into our lives.
Personally, I could do without the acquaintances we’d surrounded ourselves with, but Ash enjoyed having a social life. People to interact with and bring a little supposed happiness to our life.
I didn’t need anyone but him.
My cell dinged, and I actually grinned at seeing Colton’s name.
Too bad he didn’t live closer—I’d have loved to hang with friends outside the uppity ones we would wine and dine at Ash’s party.
Colton: I need to vent, and since you’ll give shit to me straight, I want your ear. Call me so I can annoy you.
Snickering, I dialed his number.
“You know me too well,” I said when he answered.
“Yeah, which is why I trust you to figure out a plan and tell me what the fuck to do.”
“What’s going on?” I settled back in my chair.
“Remember that variety I used to enjoy? Well, my dick has decided it’s tired of being a playboy.”
I barked an outright laugh.
“I’m serious! All of my buddies had the same pussy-hungry attitude I used to—hell, a few work for Elite Escorts, so they’re getting plenty, but I’m bored, man. Seriously. The only thing that interests me is something real, you know? Like you and Ash have. Guy, girl, I don’t really care either way.”
“Elite Escorts?”
“You know…escorts.”
“Prostitution?” I asked for clarity—not that I would judge a person for how they earned a living.
“Lots of them get paid to use their dicks, but sometimes it’s just to be eye candy for events and that sort of shit. Why? Do you think it’s wrong?”
I snorted. “As long as someone works hard to pay their bills, what do I care?”
“Hard.” Colton let out a chuckle, and I rolled my eyes.
“You’re adventurous. Why don’t you switch over to looking for relationships instead of hookups on Missing Link? See what you can find. There are thousands of profiles of people hoping for something real, just like you.”
“You guys have any luck yet?”
I considered Skylar, my thoughts torn.
In some ways, Colton reminded me of her—impulsive, chatty, unable to focus on more than instant gratification…and I loved the guy.
So what was it about Skylar that thickened my walls and made me twice as stubborn as normal?
“That’s some long-assed silence, Rhett. Daydreaming about someone?”
“I wouldn’t call it daydreaming,” I muttered.
“Hmm. Sounds like someone has your panties all twisted up.”
I scowled, the sense of instability inside me a feeling that turned my thoughts dark. “Skylar falls terribly short of being the type of woman who could make me lose my head like Ash has done.”
“Ooo!” He laughed evilly, and I could imagine him rubbing his hands together. “A woman has gotten under your skin—she’s threatening the wall of granite you think you are.”
“Fuck off,” I muttered.
“She makes you feel, doesn’t she?”
“She doesn’t stop talking. And smiling. Her mind flits from one thing to the next like a hummingbird—she can’t focus worth a shit, and it drives me nuts. She’s always laughing with Ash, touching him like she can’t keep her hands off his body.”
“Some—one’s jea—lous,” he sang the words, deepening my frown.
I didn’t deny his assumption because the term sounded appropriate for the feelings I had toward Skylar.
“What’s she look like?” Colton asked.
“Gorgeous. Pale skin, auburn hair, and she has these big green eyes that are so damn expressive…” My thought trailed off as I recalled the way she’d looked at me when I’d been buried balls deep in her body.
Colton’s chuckle pulled me back to the present. “Someone has it bad.”
My scowl slammed into place once more. “I do not.”
“She makes you feel alllll the damn feels, am I right? That’s what you can’t stand. Go ahead and deny it, Rhett Stirling, Mr. I-Hate-Vulnerability Asshole.”
“This doesn’t sound like you venting,” I muttered since I couldn’t deny the truth he spoke.
It wasn’t Skylar’s sunshiny nature that rubbed me the wrong way. A part of me secretly enjoyed the sense of life she’d brought inside the walls of our home.
Most of the time, at least. Earlier? Well, the silence I’d sought out in my office had been golden.
There was never a dull moment with her around—and fuck knew we’d had plenty of those the previous couple of years. While Ash’s and my love and passion hadn’t ever lagged, it sometimes felt as though we’d perhaps grown too comfortable. Content to let the time slip by without fully enjoying every minute, feeling excitement in day-to-day existence.
“Your life is more interesting,” Colton stated with a chuckle.
I scrubbed a hand down over my face and stretched my neck side to side, once again thinking the recent spark was due to Skylar’s arrival.
No doubt she brought sunshine, warm and nurturing, enticing excitement in the mundane. Some of her qualities, I couldn’t deny, added to Ash’s and my life in ways I hadn’t realized we needed.
“So. Missing Link.” I took the conversation back onto Colton so I wouldn’t have to further consider the shit he’d pointed out. “Change your profile to show you’re looking for a relationship. Trust her to bring what you need.”
“Like she did for you?”
“Fuck off,” I muttered.
31
Ashton
I stood in the shower, head tipped against the tiled wall, hot water raining down over me but not cleansing in the way I wished it would. Sickness riddled my body, I had no doubt. And fear owned my mind.
My symptoms were too similar to what I remember Archer dealing with to be anything else. Memories of my twin in the hospital haunted my mind, and I couldn’t handle the thought of enduring what he had.
My desire to have children had always been a driving force in my decisions throughout life, but the urgency rising inside me took my tension levels to a different plane.
Yes, I ought to see a doctor—but the thought of going to a hospital clenched my insides up to the point of pain. I heaved. Fucking again.
“No, no, no…” I whispered my denial mantra, my eyes clenched shut as though I could will the truth away.
While I was no professional at smothering emotions, I tried my damned best in order to function, choosing to focus on what I could control.
Attempting to get Sky pregnant and make Rhett fall in love with her so he would have someone when…
Swallowing hard, I once more had to stifle rising panic while chanting that damn two-lettered word in my head over and over again.
Time…I just required a little more time—I needed to keep my eyes on what was important, not the cancer dragging me toward the grave.
Sky had burrowed slightly beneath Rhett’s hardened exterior, but he still held back from allowing himself to fully enjoy her spirit, her heart in the same ways I did. He needed help breaking down those damn walls whenever the three of us fucked.
Determination settled like a rock in my churning stomach, and even though my aching body would enjoy staying beneath the hot water and steam, I got out of the shower and threw on some lounge pants, a plan settled firmly in my brain, giving me a focal point to obsess on.
It was time to push Rhett since he refused to lower his defenses.
Skylar and Rhett had finished the dishes, and neither were in the kitchen or living room.
Hope sent me back up to her bedroom since they hadn’t been in ours.
The sound of her shower reached me through her door but no voices.
I went back downstairs and found Rhett in the office, staring out the window from where he leaned in his chair.
He turned even though I hadn’t made much noise letting myself in.
“Feeling better?” he asked, getting up and approaching me where I stood just inside the door.
My hands fisted at my sides as I readied to tell him what I needed, expecting he wouldn’t ever deny a request from my lips.
“I want Skylar between us tonight—without condoms.”
He studied me with his dark, closed-off eyes, knowing exactly what I asked for.
The next step in a plan he had helped create…commitment.
Our end goal.
Rhett hesitated long enough that I began to tremble, fearing rejection. His tension, his reservations assured me he had no wish to sink into her body again, but if only he’d open up and allow himself to feel, we would all benefit from how fate had brought us together.
I needed his consent to the point I trembled, on the verge of breaking down.
“Please, Rhett.” My voice cracked, and I swallowed hard, fighting off the tremors.
I couldn’t tell him the truth about why I pushed with desperation to move forward—it would ruin him, rip him apart from the inside out. Seeing him in that kind of pain would kill me faster than any cancer…
Yanking my focus back to the present, I stared at my lover, silently begging fate to allow me one—two—last requests.
Rhett exhaled heavily as though reading my mind and moved in close, reaching for me. “Okay.”
I sank against his firm chest for a moment and filled my lungs with the scent of pine as some of the tension drained from my body.
I have this night and at least a few more…
That sense of urgency returned, and I grasped Rhett’s hand, starting toward the stairs, hoping Skylar had finished in the bathroom.
“Take a quick shower, then get your ass in our bed,” I told Rhett, my heart and mind focused on the end game.
He chuckled. “You must be feeling better. You hardly ever boss me around.”
“Just do it.” I pushed him toward our bedroom and knocked on Skylar’s door.
Rhett disappeared from view, and Skylar’s door swung inward. She stood wrapped in a towel, hair wet and a darker shade of red than her eyelashes.
I couldn’t help the butterflies erupting around the stone in my stomach or the smile that her presence always brought to my face.
“Come.” I grabbed her hand and tugged, but she hesitated.
A slight frown marred the smooth, pale skin of her brow.
“I-I’m not sure I should be in your bed tonight,” she stated quietly—and having too many sisters, I understood.
My smile dissolved. “Is it that time of the month?”
Pink flushed her cheeks, and she shook her head.
“You aren’t in the mood?” I asked when she didn’t elaborate, every cell in my body vibrating with need.
She glanced at our bedroom door down the hall as though considering.
“What’s wrong? You aren’t usually this quiet.”
“Maybe I should be,” I whispered.
“What?” I couldn’t keep the surprise from my voice. “Why would you say such a thing? I adore your quirkiness. You’re my sunshine, Sky.”
“I’m not so sure Rhett appreciates who I am as much as you do.”
Her insecurity slammed me upside the head, and I took her face in my hands, placing a slow, gentle kiss to her soft lips. “I told him I wanted you between us tonight, and he agreed. Don’t give up on him, Sky. You’re the refreshing happiness his grumpy ass needs. Give him another taste—I’m sure he’ll be unable to continue hiding behind those walls protecting his vulnerability.”
I studied her troubled eyes while she nibbled on her lower lip.
Anxiety flared again, cramping my stomach. We didn’t have time to dawdle…
“Please, Sky,” I whispered, not above begging her too.
She must have read the desperation on my face, because hers relaxed, and she clasped her hand atop mine on her cheek. “Anything for you, Ashton.”
Relief should have rushed through me, calmed my anxiety, but I hovered on the verge of a panic attack.
Taking measured breaths, I led Sky to our bedroom and stripped her of her towel as Rhett showered. Her pale, freckled skin called to my fingertips, but I encouraged her onto the bed before touching her.
“Are you okay?” she asked, her gorgeous green eyes wide and full of empathy as I pushed down my pants with shaking hands.
“I will be,” I promised a lie while climbing in to lay beside her.
She sighed as I rubbed my nose over hers. She smelled of mint, coconuts, and dreams fulfilled. Her simple touch eased some of my nerves, bringing a sense of relaxation that would allow me to enjoy our evening together.
