Remotely Love, page 18
At the end of the meeting, everyone was dismissed and asked to move into the dining hall for dinner. A great scraping of chairs and feet erupted around them. Sam leaned over and whispered to Hazel, “Go to dinner with me?” His breath on her neck sent goosebumps down her body. She agreed, and they joined the throngs of people queueing to find a seat at a dinner table.
The dining hall was more formal than Hazel had imagined, filled with large round tables, each adorned with a long white tablecloth and a floral centerpiece. Looking around the room, Hazel only recognized a few faces. Most of the attendees were higher up the corporate ladder than her peers. She tried to spot Frank to no avail but saw Lou and started leading the way over to him. On the way, she noticed that Sam seemed to know many attendees. He waved to people and gave side hugs to some as they passed.
They pulled chairs at a table Lou had guarded for them and joined four other people, none of whom Hazel was familiar with. She turned to Lou. “I’m not interested in hearing about anyone’s flight except for you. I can’t believe you flew halfway around the world to be here!”
He leaned close to her and said, “Never again” under his breath with a snicker. Then sat up straight to continue. “It wasn’t so bad. I’m just wholly knackered. Not sure how to recover from it. I keep wiping my face with towelettes to stay awake.”
Overhearing this, a jaunty-looking man with straw-colored hair across the table said, “Jet lag, huh? It’s the worst. You should shine a flashlight behind your knees. Works for me every time.”
Sam replied in greeting, “Hey, Peter! Long time no see! And Meredith, wow, good to see you!” He made introductions between Hazel, Lou, Peter, and Meredith. There were two other women seated with them who joined in introducing themselves. One with short black hair named Stacy and another with brown curling locks and dark eyes named Maxine.
The polite conversation continued through the evening, the group talking about what department they worked in and where they lived. Lou was the furthest traveler and took the spotlight, telling them about living in Cork and the cultural differences he experienced while working with his US colleagues. While everyone was captivated by Lou explaining the pub scene, Sam reached over and held Hazel’s hand beneath the tablecloth. Her heart erupted into wings. Their hands were dancing over each other, exploring, fingers gently folding in and out. She felt the calluses on his fingers, a stark contrast from the rest of his smooth skin. Another interesting feature was at the bottom of his hand beneath his pinky, which she couldn’t quite place.
When everyone had eaten and plates were cleared away, people began circulating, looking to find friends they hadn’t yet seen. As Hazel and Sam stood, their hands fell from each other. Sam was approached by two other coworkers before they could step away. Hazel said, “I’m going to look for Frank,” and set off.
After circulating the room twice without finding him, she followed a trickle of people headed for the bar. Frank didn’t seem to be there either. Getting worried, she decided to head back to her room. Hazel didn’t have Frank’s phone number, but maybe she could log into her computer and send him a message.
The room was dark even after she turned on the floor lamp. She sat in the small halo of dim light it provided and unpacked her laptop. To her surprise, Frank was marked as Online in the Chatter App.
Hazel Rogers
Dude, where are you? I’ve been looking for you everywhere. 6:29pm
Ellipses emerged so that Hazel knew he was typing back to her, though there was a long gap before he sent anything. She expected to receive a long paragraph, but it was only three words when he replied.
Frank Simms
Sick, Room 913 6:38pm
Hazel swept out the door and scurried down the stairs to the ninth floor. When she arrived at room 913, she knocked, but there was no answer. She jiggled the handle and called, “Frank, it’s me. Open up!” She waited several minutes, listening to the room beyond. Finally, she heard a toilet flush and what could have been a groan. She knocked again, louder this time. She felt the door give slightly without opening.
“Hazel. I can’t open the door.” Frank sounded miserable. “You shouldn’t even be this close.”
“What’s happened? How can I help?”
“I caught something on the plane, I think. My stomach is fucked. I can’t keep anything down.”
“Let me bring you some water and crackers. Do you want any Pepto?”
Frank’s breathing was audible, and she could tell he was pacing his breath. “No meds… Water sounds good.”
Hazel hesitated, hating to ask, “Are you going to be okay for tomorrow?” There was a commotion on the other side of the door and a splashing sound. Hazel called out, “I’m going to get the water. I’ll be back soon!”
She racked her brain, considering anything she could do to help but didn’t come up with much. She hated this for Frank. At the front desk, she asked for water bottles, crackers, and additional towels. The clerk read between the lines and loaded two bags of the supplies for her. “I hope your friend feels better soon!”
Me too, Hazel thought as she walked back toward the elevator.
Back at Frank’s room, she set the bags in front of the door and knocked. This time the door opened a crack. Frank had been sitting on the floor on the other side, covered in the comforter he had removed from the bed. “Go down the hall, and I’ll take them in. Thanks, Hazel.”
“I’ll go down the hall, but I’m coming back to visit with you for a minute. I’ll stay on this side of the door.” Hazel moved away and watched Frank reach through the door and pull in the bags. When the door was closed again, she returned and sat on the other side.
“Okay, I’m here. If you need anything, I can go get it, or if you want to chat. Even if not, I’ll stay here for a while.”
He breathed, “You’re the best.”
They sat silently for a while, then Frank asked how the day had been so far.
Hazel’s mind rushed toward meeting Sam, his embrace, their book banter, holding hands, but she knew he meant the summit events. “As you’d probably expect. There was an opening introduction. Dana and some other dude spoke to us about what to expect and how the next few days would work. Then we went to dinner. That was cool. It was like a real dinner; we made orders at the table and everything. Lots of people here, but I don’t know many of them. Sam seems to know everyone.”
Despite Frank’s state, he lilted his voice. “Oho, how is Sam?”
Hazel cut back, “You really are the worst gossip, you know?”
“It’s not gossip if I don’t tell anyone! I need to hear the drama, not spread it.”
She pondered what to say. Hazel didn’t mind sharing things with Frank, but the timing seemed so tenuous. Things were going… well. Maybe really well. Maybe perfectly. But she didn’t know, and it could easily fall apart. “I’ll say so far, things are great.”
Frank sniffed. “So… Is he handsome in real life?”
Hazel laughed. “He is a beautiful human being.”
There was another quiet stretch until Frank said, “If I’m not better by tomorrow, I need you to present the Emoji Pilot.”
Hazel stilled. “No, Frank, you’re going to be better. This is your baby. Plus, I can’t do that. I’m totally unprepared.”
“You’re the only person here who could do it. It’s you or nobody.”
She blew out her breath, puffing her cheeks. “You’ll be better by tomorrow.”
“I emailed you the presentation and all the info, in case. I’m going to try to sleep. Thanks for hanging out with me and everything.”
“Get great rest, Frank. I’ll see you later.”
She walked back to the bar, thinking about Frank’s presentation. She could probably present it decently if she had to, not near as well as Frank would do, but at least it would still be represented. But how could she answer questions anyone had? She didn’t have the background information or the experience of being entrenched in his project.
The hotel bar was at total capacity, with FutureApp leadership standing in small groups holding cocktails. The number of people in such a small place made Hazel rethink her destination. She pulled her phone out to message Sam instead but then she heard her name being called. She turned back toward the bar to see Sam excusing himself as he passed through the crowd. He exited the room with a ‘phew’ and said, “I’ve been looking for you!”
Hazel explained about Frank being sick as they strolled through the lobby and along the first-floor hallways. When she told him about Frank’s request for her to present in his stead and her hesitation about being able to answer questions, he said, “It sounds like you might save the day. And don’t stress about the questions; defer them. I always do deferrals if I don’t know! You could simply take them and send them to Frank or have the audience email you or Frank directly. Lots of options.”
“True. I always forget to do that.”
Sam grinned, dimpling his cheek. “Because you like to know everything.”
“Oh snap! And you don’t?!” She punched him in the arm and noted the firmness there.
“Ouch! You’re getting violent on me, Hazelberry?”
“Only when you deserve it.”
He restrained a smirk. “Fair enough. I do also prefer to know everything. I just remember you saying that your trailers were in progress when 2/3rds of them were perfectly completed.”
“I’m… remaining open to feedback!” Hazel protested.
Sam’s eyes fell on a door ahead of them. “Want to see something cool?” They approached the door, and Sam swiped a room key along the lock, which turned green and admitted them.
The room felt large and small at once, but it was pitch black. Hazel waited for her eyes to adjust and asked, “Where are we?”
She heard him take a few steps to the left. “You’ll see.” He flipped on a light switch that revealed them in a workspace. Hazel saw several props, some stage lighting fixtures, a cart of janitorial supplies, and three stairs leading up to a platform.
“We’re backstage. Is this the main stage, where we’ll present tomorrow?”
Sam bit his lip and widened his eyes in excitement. “It is! I got a key to it during the setup. I don’t think anyone else will come in this late. Let’s look around.”
They ascended the stairs and walked onto the stage. Hazel saw the podium and stood at it, imagining what it would be like tomorrow. Brightly lit, seats full of people, a projection behind her. Sam put a hand on the small of her back, sending a rush along her spine. “You’re going to do great tomorrow.” Hazel spun around to face Sam. “Dance with me?”
She stepped forward to meet him, and he grabbed her hand in his and placed the other at her back. They spun around on the dark stage in silence. Hazel felt electric being so close to him. Without thinking, she laid her head on his chest and heard his heart’s steady thump. He played with her hair. This was what home felt like, and Hazel wanted to ask him all her questions. He was right that she wanted to know everything. However, her fear was too powerful, so instead, she took his hand and fingered the small scar below his pinky. “What’s this here?”
They continued to sway. Sam hummed, and she felt it vibrate in his chest. “You know what that is. You just don’t know that you know.”
Hazel reared her head back to look at him, a questioning gleam in her eye. “You have riddles tonight… Let’s see… Narwhal encounter gone wrong? You were probably doing a race in Norway.”
Sam laughed and shook his head. She could feel the scruff of his beard against her hair. “No, I’m afraid not. This is from a night a few years ago. I was having some Chinese food with a coworker and watching The Office. The thing you have to understand is I loved this woman, but she was engaged to another man. She had been having a tough time recently but was recovering. She was so strong. Then she told me her fiancé had left her. I was an immediate mess. I was selfishly filled with hope and deeply angry at this man I had never met for hurting her after all she had been through. I banged my fist onto a filing cabinet but hit the corner of it.”
Hazel didn’t know when, but they had stopped dancing. She was looking up at him, heart racing. “I remember the banging sound. I remember you jumping up.” Sam’s eyes searched her. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “You loved me?”
He leaned toward her. They were so close she could see the bands in his eyes. “I have loved you nearly from the moment we met.”
Hazel succumbed to their draw and kissed him. No kiss had ever compared. She felt as if she was warmed from within. They knew how they fit together intrinsically. The tilt of their heads and the parting of their lips were the most natural movements to have ever existed. She stroked his jaw, feeling his facial hair in her hand, and deepened their kiss. His tongue swept into her mouth. A flash of light flooded across Hazel’s closed eyelids.
They drew slightly apart, the air between them crackling. She pinched his chest. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”
“First, you were with Alex, and it was all so surprising anyway. I told myself it wasn’t real. Then when Alex left, you had recently gone through so much turmoil. It would have been unkind to add any emotional neediness or complication.”
“But after that?”
“I… I was so scared. I thought you would think I was crazy; I thought so myself sometimes. Then on CARE, it seemed like maybe you had feelings for me too. I was still hesitant, but I couldn’t keep away. I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Hazel looked down, nodding. “I know. You’re like an addiction. I think about you all the time, too. The night we celebrated after the dry run, I thought I loved you then.”
Sam’s eyes sparkled in the low light. “You love me, too?”
“I love you.” Hazel’s chest filled with emotion. She felt it travel through her whole body. Tears welled in her eyes. “But… I’m scared. I worry about you being several ranks above me, and we’re both in Comms, and you’re in Oregon.”
Sam gently lifted her chin. “There is nothing. Nothing that will keep us apart. We’ll figure this out.”
They snuck upstairs to Hazel’s room without encountering anyone. Most of their colleagues were still at the bar, and Hazel wondered how they would feel the next day. Steadying herself after her soaring emotions had revealed Hazel’s exhaustion, and she still needed to review Frank’s presentation. She sat on the bed and opened Frank’s email. Sam sat behind her and massaged her shoulders. He recommended, “Why don’t you present it to me for practice?”
She flipped through the slides and speaking notes to refresh herself, trying to recall as much of his dry run as possible and what he had emphasized. “I’m ready.” She turned the computer so they could both see the screen and started from the beginning. When she had finished, she threw her hands up. “It’s horrible. I sound like I’m reading a script.”
Sam rubbed her leg. “You are reading a script, and given the circumstances, that is just fine.”
“I hate the idea of sounding unprepared.” She exhaled, “Let me try it again.” Hazel practiced the presentation until her vision blurred. She couldn’t remember falling asleep but woke up to find herself tucked in and her computer closed in its case. A note fluttered in the air from the fan, “See you tomorrow, Hazelberry <3” Hazel smiled and drifted back to sleep.
Chapter 18
Make Goals that Scare You a Little
“Development goals are something any professional should make, and they should make you uncomfortable while being attainable.”
When Hazel woke again, it was to a knock on her door. It was only a few minutes before her alarm was set to sound. Bleary-eyed, she crossed the room and peered through the peephole to find Sam outside, hands full. She opened the door, and he strode in, setting the two coffees and the paper bag on the table. He made to kiss her, but she put her hand in front of her mouth. “Morning breath! I wasn’t awake yet!” Sam protested that he didn’t care, but she ran to the bathroom and brushed her teeth while he unpacked the bag.
She came back around the corner and stared at Sam. He was sitting in one of the two upholstered chairs around the small circular table, coffee in hand. He could have been on a modeling assignment. He was wearing a blue slim-fitting coat jacket over a white button-up shirt with the collar undone. His hair was casually pushed back, but one stubborn piece was falling forward over his brow, and he was smiling at her with those bright teeth. “So, last night was real… I didn’t dream it?”
“Not unless we both had the same incredible dream.” He picked up her coffee to offer it to her. “It’s easy to remember your coffee order since it’s the same as mine.”
She walked over to him and leaned in for a kiss before taking the paper cup. “Donuts?! These look great, and they aren’t jelly!”
“Yep! There’s a little local place down the street from here. I picked them up on the run back. Coffee from the hotel.”
“Of course, you packed running shoes for the summit.” Hazel teased.
“I’ve got to get a good run in before a big presentation. Doesn’t matter where it’s happening. It helps clear my mind.”
Hazel nodded through a bite of donut. When she swallowed, she said, “I walk to clear my mind before big events. Totally get it.” She opened her laptop to clear email, and her heart sank when she saw one from Frank. She read aloud, “I’m wrecked. Don’t come by; I can’t bear talking about it. I know you will do great, and I thank you so much. Frank.” She looked over at Sam. “I was really hoping he’d be recovered enough. He worked so hard for this. Too hard! Probably part of why he got sick.”
