Remotely Love, page 15
The fall had slowed her considerably, and there were only three minutes until she was due in the SyncUp when she opened her door. She threw off her coat, thinking at least she had the good sense to have worn it. She fell into her desk chair, turned on the camera before entering the meeting, and straightened her hair as best she could. She was soaked through and freezing cold. There was nothing else for it; she would have to be off-camera for this meeting. It was not ideal for her presentation, she knew it wouldn't hit the same way, but it was better than everyone seeing her hair drip onto her keyboard. She turned her webcam off and logged in.
Hazel Rogers
911, I can’t come on camera today 10:59am
Sam Pierce
Why? Is everything okay? 10:59am
Hazel Rogers
No, I got caught in a freaking storm, I look like someone rescued me from drowning 10:59am
Sam Pierce
Okay we’ll roll with it. 11:00am
Sam Pierce
Going to need the full story later ;) 11:00am
Sam kicked off the meeting as he always did, explaining their agenda and expectations. Unfortunately, Hazel being off camera was noticed and became a distraction. Trevor used the SyncUp chat to ask if she was okay, causing other concerned comments to follow. As Hazel was typing back to the chat that she was okay, Sam started to address the comments, "Hazel is fine. I miss seeing her face too, but she will remain off-camera today due to some unexpected circumstances." Hazel was relieved he had explained it so elegantly, excluding saying she was not presentable. Samantha promptly made two comments that changed Hazel's mind about everything. She chatted, "How can we, as stakeholders, know she'll be prepared to present at the summit if she can't be prepared today?" Then, "Have you worked her too hard, Sam?"
Hazel lost all sense that she was shivering with cold and instead felt as if her skin was on fire. Samantha was coming after her and disguising it with professionalism, but accusing Sam of anything was too much.
Hazel glared at Samantha, loathing the smug look on her face. She turned on her webcam, hair plastered to her face, still visibly dripping onto her shirt. Several things happened at once. The audience reacted, some laughing, some shocked, and others looking curious. Hazel said, "I don't know if you've ever worked with Sam, but he would never. I'm more than prepared for this presentation and the summit. I just got caught in a downpour." And Sam typed into the SyncUp chat, "Jesus, Hazel, how wet are you? ;)"
It was his typed message that derailed the meeting. The room suddenly stood still, but Hazel could feel the attendees typing. Samantha's face looked triumphant (but why?), and Sam, for the first time Hazel had ever seen, was speechless and red in the face. He mumbled something barely audible that sounded like, "Sorry, wrong chat."
Lou called the meeting back to order, "Hey, hey, everyone. Let's get back to our agenda. I believe we were set to go through the Leadership Training first. All your recommended changes have been implemented, so keep an eye out for them. In the end, we'll ask for your final feedback as we seek approval at the end of this week."
As if in defiance, they presented the Leadership Training flawlessly. When everyone was dismissed, and only Hazel, Sam, and Lou remained in the room, Lou again broke the awkward silence. He said soothingly, "Don't worry about it too much. Everyone's chatted in the wrong room or been on the mic when they intended to be muted. Everyone will move on; it'll be the gossip for a day."
Sam let out a long exhale. "It's my first time, and I'm… mortified. Thank you, Lou, for getting the meeting back on track. I'm so sorry to both of you." Lou exited, leaving only Hazel and Sam. Sam repeated his apology, "I'm so sorry, Hazel, I thought I was typing in our DM." When she laughed, the relief that washed his face was so comical it made her laugh again.
She replied, "You know, the worst part was the winky face. There'd be plausible deniability if it wasn't for the wink." They were coming terrifyingly close to a conversation that would change everything. The possibility thrilled through her body before she tried to stamp it out. It was too soon. CARE wasn't over. The summit was still to come.
Sam stroked his beard, and Hazel imagined how it would feel to her touch. "I'm embarrassed. I guess I should try to keep work chat to work topics." He was watching her but suddenly alerted. "You're freezing! Go dry off!”
Chapter 15
Choose the Right Forum for Communication
“The ability to shoot off an email or chat with someone in seconds is a blessing, but it’s also so easy it’s a temptation to use in all circumstances. A virtual meeting is necessary for constructive feedback, asking complex questions, or having difficult conversations.”
April 2, 2016
I made the horrible mistake of re-reading some of my entries. I tend to think of myself in a good light. Not that I’m perfect or even anyone very important, but at least I am fair-minded, have some patience, and am decent to be around. Reading my own diary entries has me doubting that.
It shows me that I have more work to do on myself. I’ve written about being frustrated with Lar, most times for reasons I can’t even remember. Some of my entries are about insignificant inconveniences. Why should I be so bothered about forgetting milk at the store and having to make a second run for it?
What does matter - the people I love, our health, and our home are not affected by these trivial things. I’m humbled and a little embarrassed, and I will try to have a more grounded perspective.
This passage, even more than some of the ones about Alex, made Hazel long to speak to her mother. She would assure her that she was a kind, loving person whom the community respected and looked up to. Sometimes, being caught up in trivial things was normal, but her values were apparent. That she shouldn’t doubt or feel embarrassed.
She was still feeling the needling in her heart from the journal entry when she logged into the Sanity Check for Frank’s presentation. Idly wondering about what the important things were to her. They had agreed to forego their quirky tradition today to give Frank their full attention. When Frank joined the SyncUp, all her attention went to him. “Oh, Frank. How can I help?”
Frank grimaced. “That bad, eh?”
“You’re literally wan. Like a 16th-century peasant or something.”
SyncUp played its tinkling sound announcing Meg’s entry. She looked at Frank and drew herself back in shock. “Dude, have you slept, like, recently?”
Frank looked down at his desk and nodded, “Yeah, I know. I’ve definitely overdone it and am honestly not feeling great. I keep telling myself it’s almost done. Plus, it’s so good. I can’t wait to show you ladies. This shit is awesome!”
Hazel’s face softened. “We can’t wait to see it, either.”
Meg said slyly, “It’s true, I’m definitely stoked to see what you’ve sacrificed yourself for, but can we address a rumor I heard first?”
Frank’s eyes had been dull but sparked at the question. “You know I’m here for the gossip. What’d you hear?”
Meg said, “Maybe you could ask Hazel?”
Frank looked confused for a moment. Hazel figured Meg must have heard about Sam’s mistaken chatroom, but Frank had not. Frank snapped his fingers. “Something to do with working with that asshole. Did he finally show his true colors to the CARE team?”
Meg played with her tongue inside her cheek and tried to stifle her giggles but couldn’t quite. “You’re right on one count! Hazel?”
Hazel briefly considered where to start her answer. “Sam told me about the meeting where he was an asshole. He’s haunted by it. He immediately regretted it and almost resigned after it happened. Did you know he apologized to the guy he went after the very next day? How about this? Do you remember when that meeting was?”
Neither of them expected her to reply this way; she could tell by the dazed looks on their faces. Frank replied first, “I mean, I was there. It was probably a few years ago now.”
“It was while I was on leave. Sam was worried about me and couldn’t figure out where I was or why I wasn’t in office, and he let that worry overwhelm him.”
Meg exclaimed, “Oh my God! It’s true you’re together. I thought it was a half-truth when I heard….”
Hazel cut her off, “Hold on, we’re not together. I assumed you heard about what happened at the Stakeholder's meeting. What did you hear, exactly?”
Frank jumped in, “Wait, I’m so behind! What happened at the Stakeholder meeting?”
Meg ignored him and continued, “I did hear that. He said something in the SyncUp chat about how wet you were with a winky emoji? Hearing you now, I’m guessing the rest was an assumption. I heard you two were dating but not talking about it.”
Frank’s eyes were saucers. “Go back to the comment, please. Why is he talking about you being wet?”
Hazel braced herself. “I was literally caught in a rainstorm. I had been off-camera because I looked a complete mess. Then Samantha asked how they would know if I was ready for the summit if I wasn’t ready right then, and accused Sam of overworking me, so I turned on the camera anyway.”
Frank hung on every word. “This is amazing. And hilarious. Wait, why would he say that with a winky face anyway?”
“I mean, he didn’t mean to chat it in the SyncUp Chat. He meant to send it to me as a DM in Chatter.” Frank narrowed his eyes for her to continue, and she did. “And I’m not totally surprised at the message because we’ve gotten really close and… things have gotten pretty overtly flirtatious.”
Meg huffed and repeated, “'Pretty overtly flirtatious.' I’d say so!”
The conversation seemed to be the most fun Frank had ever had. “So okay, why aren’t you dating? You both like each other. He’s accidentally saying sexual things. Apparently, he loved you years ago? Fill. In. These. Blanks.” He clapped at each word.
Hazel held up her hands. “Whoa, okay, I wouldn’t say he loves me, and you know why! You’re the person who told me you can’t date if you’re in the same department!”
They all sat silently. Meg said softly, “I don’t know. It sounds like love to me. You’ll figure it out.” Sometimes Meg was surprisingly soft for someone who only wore shades of black and grey.
“Mmm, we should let Frank amaze us with his presentation.” Hazel nodded toward him.
Frank only said, “I guess.” However, he shared his slide deck and delivered a genuinely interesting and well-researched presentation.
Hazel and Meg asked questions along the way that they believed were likely to come up from HR. Frank had clearly anticipated these and was able to answer all of them succinctly. He finished with a strong recommendation, “You’ve seen the industry research, the psychological advantages, and historical precedent for using emoji in communication. Those, and our pilot's results, led us to strongly recommend emoji usage in client communications such as social media and chat messages. To minimize liability concerns, we recommended approving a subset of 10 emoji and building parameters for when they should be used. We have prepared what those emoji and parameters could be and will work with our Quality and Training teams in P1 to document and roll out.”
Both women applauded in front of their webcams. Hazel told him, “Frank, that was legitimately one of the best presentations I’ve ever seen. I’m so proud of you!”
“Thanks, Hazel!” Frank let out a squeal. “Okay, what can you tell me about improving? I’m most concerned about timing. I finished this with you in 25 minutes, but I have 45 minutes at the summit. Having an audience will make it take longer naturally- more questions and the activity I skipped with you.”
Meg requested that he talk them through the activity and led the group looking at rearranging the order of his slides. Frank only made minor changes but was visibly relieved this dry run had gone so well. “I can’t thank you enough. This almost feels like an I’m-too-close-to-it situation at this point.”
Hazel scrunched her nose. “I know about that feeling! Let us know how the final approvals go.”
Frank’s presentation for approval was Thursday, the day before Hazel’s. He updated Hazel and Meg immediately.
Frank Simms
ITS A YES! 2:01pm
Meg Malloy
AH! Great job Frank! YESSSS! 2:01pm
Frank Simms
Well, pending some tiny changes, but nothing material. 2:01pm
Hazel Rogers
BRILLIANT! Frank! I’m so excited for you! 2:02pm
Hazel Rogers
How will you celebrate? You’ve earned it. 2:02pm
Frank Simms
I need to make these little tweaks first but then I think I’ll take out Liz and Brian, maybe have a nice dinner and go by a park. 2:03pm
Meg Malloy
That sounds lovely. Try to get some short work days in too. Rest up before the summit. I wouldn’t expect it to be a very relaxing experience. 2:03pm
Hazel Rogers
Good to know, Meg. Apart from the presentations, what usually happens? 2:05pm
Meg Malloy
I’ve only been once but there’s usually a lot of socializing. Some of it’s built in- dinners and mixers. Some are people being together who generally don’t get to be. They hang out all night, go out clubbing. That sort of thing. Plus there’s always something scandalous. 2:06pm
Meg Malloy
Remember last year when everyone was talking about that team leader Mickey? 2:06pm
Frank Simms
Oh yeah, I do remember! 2:06pm
Hazel Rogers
I don’t think so? 2:07pm
Meg Malloy
The rumor was that he hooked up with Alice and Lynn. It was a whole thing. Anyway, I feel like the event is a rumor mill every year. 2:07pm
Hazel didn’t sleep soundly Thursday night. She jolted awake several times feeling as if she was late to get somewhere. At 5:30am, she gave up and set off for the kitchen to make some tea and read the end of Stocking Full of Love. She would finish it slightly earlier than the club’s schedule, but it was better than tossing and turning.
The last few chapters entranced Hazel. She rested in a way that sleep had not provided. She journeyed with the main character, discovering her belief in Christmas magic, receiving thoughtful stocking stuffers, and having a mightily long night of lovemaking under the Christmas tree. The book made a satisfying papery clap as she closed it.
Sam Pierce
Ready? 9:45am
Hazel Rogers
Yes. 9:45am
Hazel Rogers
Oddly enough, I’m less nervous than I was at the last meeting. 9:45am
Sam Pierce
Do I jinx anything if I say me too? I’m at least comforted I won’t make a spectacle of myself. 9:45am
Hazel Rogers
False. You’re always a spectacle unto yourself with how you command everyone’s attention. :P 9:46am
Hazel watched as the attendees streamed into the SyncUp. All the usual Stakeholders were there, but today they were also joined by additional high-ranking leaders, including Dana. As each of them filed into the room, Hazel felt her confidence grow. She imagined their impressed faces at the end. The final boost came as Dana entered. She seemed lit from within, as if she would rather be here than anywhere else. She greeted Sam, Hazel, and Lou personally, “Sam! Hazel! I’m so glad to see you again. Hazel, your idea for teaser trailers has been all anyone wants to talk to me about these past few weeks. What an enormous success we owe to you. Lou, we haven’t met personally before, but I have heard such wonderful things about your work, and it’s a pleasure to meet you today.” The warmth of Dana’s greeting swelled in Hazel’s chest. They were going to crush this. Hazel could feel it.
They planned to perform everything exactly as they intended to present at the summit. Hazel started them, imagining herself on a large stage alone in the spotlight, which fueled her. She felt all eyes on her and did everything in her power to maintain the audience's attention. Hazel sensed she was doing it; she was commanding the room as Sam had done so many times. She hit every mark perfectly. Her sense of pride and accomplishment soared around her as she handed off the presentation to Sam.
Sam was electrifying. Even though Hazel knew the material by heart, she couldn’t take her eyes off him. He was sparking with energy and passion for the training he had built. When he asked for volunteers, every hand was raised. When he revealed each step of CARE, the chatroom exploded with cheers and gasps. Hazel had never seen anyone read and react to a room as well as he did. Seeing his mastery at work made Hazel’s heart pound in her ears, and her blood rushed to other parts of her body as well.
