Safe with Me, page 11
“Yessss,” I breathed against her and she cursed aloud, the single word going straight to my sex.
She moved quickly, scooting closer on the sofa, legs parting to make room for me, putting herself on display for my attention.
She was overwhelming in all the best ways. From her scent and her reddened folds to those insistent fingers in my hair...she felt so right. Like I was meant to be here, meant to press my lips against the swollen, throbbing bud that needed my attention, lapping at it lightly, too lightly, just to hear her groan in protest.
“Angel...” I wondered how that sweet word could sound simultaneously like a plea and a warning as I didn’t let up on the light strokes, flowing with her as her hips twitched for more direct contact.
I wanted her to remember this feeling—needing me to end this sweet torture. At the back of my mind, the very real possibility of her leaving once she learned my secret resounded like an annoying drum, and if this was the only chance I got to taste her, I was going to draw it out. Make her squirm. Make her remember how she felt as I nestled between her taut thighs.
“Holy shit.”
I loved hearing her mumbled curses, swirling around us like little notes of encouragement as I deepened the glide of my tongue, using the flattest, widest part of it to lave over her hard clit, relishing the taste of her wetness that spread across my taste buds.
“Fay...”
Her fingers on my neck were almost painful, but I welcomed the pinch as I closed my lips over her nub, pulling it into my mouth as far as it would go.
Her hips went rigid, sex flush against my face, as I suckled like my life depended on it.
She’d devolved into gibberish, but it hit my ears like a symphony as I continued, the sounds of my lips on her flesh like something from the best adult film. She rocked against me, hips twitching, body inches off the sofa, riding out each wave until I was sure—certain beyond any doubt—that there was nothing else I could wring out of her.
That was when I let go with a wet pop, using her thigh as head support to catch my breath.
I watched her try to collect herself, fighting the spasms that ran over her body every few seconds. Her signature high bun was askew, lilting to one side as strands escaped its tight confines and fell around her cheeks.
Would I call this plan a success? Hell yes.
I smiled, placing a kiss against her inner thigh, and watched her jerk in response.
“Too sensitive,” she hiccupped, and I abandoned my little nest to straddle her midsection, flicking my fringe out of my eyes.
She gazed up at me and hell if her eyes didn’t hold a wondrous satisfaction.
I wanted to do this again.
I hadn’t realized I’d said those words out loud until she chuckled, letting her hands fall limply on my thighs.
“I might die,” she groaned, adjusting her weight on the sofa so I slid closer on her torso.
She blinked up at me before her fingers reached out. “You have something on your...”
I felt her fingers on my chin, swiping away a layer of her slick that had taken residence without my knowing. But before she could pull away, I grabbed her fingers with both hands, bringing them back to my lips.
“Mine.”
I sucked her whole pointer finger into my mouth, tasting her addictive sweetness again. I could feel my cheeks hollowing out with the effort as I strived to lick off every single drop that remained.
My gaze never left hers the whole time, and I watched her features change from surprised arousal to an almost scary violent need.
“You done?” Her voice had dropped several octaves until it was nothing but a hoarse sound.
I let her finger go with one last slurp. “I just wanted to make sure I got all of it.”
Because who knows when I’ll be able to taste it next. No, not when, if.
Before she could say anything else, I leaned forward and placed my head on her shoulder, tucking myself between her side and the soft back of the sofa.
“Maybe we could cuddle for a bit?”
I tried to ignore the insistent pulsing between my legs, demanding that I needed a long-awaited release. This was usually where things went wrong, when I let my sex take over rational thinking. I pressed my thighs close together to still the ache, shoving my face into the crook of Havi’s neck to tune everything out.
“I’d love to, angel.”
But with my eyes closed, I could feel every single thing she was doing to my body so keenly. Each idle slide of her rough fingers against my skin made me tremble so hard I would’ve been embarrassed with anyone else.
I couldn’t help but think how starved my body was. I hadn’t been with anyone since Quinn, and that had been almost four years ago. Four. Years. Granted, it hadn’t felt like four years until right now when my skin luxuriated like it was being nourished after years of starvation.
Little sighs were leaving my lips, and I didn’t fight them. I didn’t want to.
When her hand covered my ass, I whined into her neck, trying to burrow closer when my logical brain knew that I was already maxed out.
“You have a really nice ass.”
“Shut up, it’s tiny,” I murmured, kissing her neck.
“It fits perfectly in my hand.”
She squeezed to demonstrate and my lungs emptied in a surprised whoosh.
Gods, that felt good. That one single squeeze had been imbued with such a sense of possession, of ownership, that I wanted more, needed more. My touch-starved soul demanded it.
Don’t go there, idiot. Remember what happened last time!
I cursed out loud and she turned to me with a curious frown.
I could feel it happening. The fight between need and fear was going to exhaust me. Kill me. That inexplicable desire to be touched, to be loved, to be held was bubbling inside hotter than ever—perhaps since there was a willing soul close by—and my brain’s ability to fight it was weakening rapidly.
“You’re so soft everywhere.”
Havi was running her fingers over any expanse of skin she could find, her roughened hands stoking the flames inside me until I was sweating, shivering against her, simply incapable of fighting.
She shifted sideways on the sofa so that our bodies pressed together in a wickedly slick slide.
“Are you all right? Why are you hidin’ your face?”
“I’m not.” I was.
She pushed my hair aside so she could see me better.
“Look at me, please.”
My sex was throbbing so painfully; I wondered if it showed on my face.
“You’re hesitatin’, angel... Tell me why.”
I shook my head, trying to burrow into the crook of her neck again, but she held me still.
“If you just wanna cuddle, that’s fine by me. Okay? I promise. But if you need more, I’m right here.”
I closed my eyes to block out the insistent throb in my body, but it only got worse as I scented her warmth in the air, tasted her honey on my lips.
Just one touch.
I was losing the battle pretty quickly.
I just need to be touched.
With my eyes closed, I reached for her hand, placing it over my right breast.
“Touch me, please.”
I couldn’t bear to look at her as I said it. She shifted positions a little, letting my head fall against the hard plane of her shoulder. She was so much bigger than me that her body pressed me into the soft back of the sofa, and... I liked it. I liked that she made me feel small—so small and protected like nothing could ever hurt me. There was a sense of protectiveness about her aura and her warmth, and it made me feel a little glowy inside. Like I would be safe with her. Always.
Her lips were pressed against the crown of my head, peppering little kisses that mingled with the endearments on her lips.
“So perfect...so beautiful...my angel...”
I relaxed into her, enjoying the feel of her strong fingers stroking my back—right from the top of my neck to the base of my spine. The first few strokes soothed the nervous energy inside me, and the next few strokes awakened an unexpected tingle. I gasped as her fingers sunk deep into my hip, then roved back up to thrum my shoulders.
Oh, it was hypnotic. Whatever she was doing was reducing me to a puddle of gasps and hitching breaths.
I’d never thought a person’s back could be an erogenous zone before—but as her fingers worked over it, I couldn’t deny that my back had become one large, tingling mass of aroused flesh. I trembled wherever she touched, and I couldn’t resist throwing my leg over hers to pull her closer to me.
A delicious fog filled my brain and I embraced it, letting the addictive giddiness block out any residual fear.
Now I wanted her to touch me everywhere; I wanted to try this with her.
She ducked down, fastening her teeth to my neck as her hand squeezed my ass.
I think my eyes crossed. I couldn’t know for sure. The keening sound that left my lips would have been embarrassing in any other situation, but with her—with her, it felt so right.
“The noises you make are so addictive,” she breathed, laving the spot she’d bitten with the flat of her tongue.
My fingers delved into her hair and the tie popped off, sending the coarse waves tumbling down around her shoulders.
I made an unintelligible noise. “Havi, you’re so... It’s like someone took notes of my wet dreams and created you.”
Her eyes flashed in the darkness.
In the next second, I was on my back with her weight on top of me, stealing my breath.
Yes, yes. Fuck yes!
Everything in me celebrated her body on top of me, pushing me into the soft sofa like a warm, hard, therapeutic weight. My thighs were splayed out around her and I raised them instinctively, locking my ankles around her waist.
“Stop me now if you don’t want me to fuck you.”
My breath cut off with a gasp. I couldn’t breathe; I couldn’t remember how.
My sex pulsed with such need that all logic seemed to evaporate from my brain.
“Yes, please.”
Was that really my voice? Just a rasp in this quiet room?
Her teeth latched onto my throat again and I bucked against her, every reason I shouldn’t be doing this flying out the window.
“Oh, fuck, Havi, that feels so... Please don’t stop.”
“I can’t wait to taste you, angel.”
Two fingers traced down the vee of my chest, spreading wide as they went but not touching where I needed her most. She repeated the action and I tried to shift slightly, but the flint in her eyes held me still, quaking under her teasing fingers.
Her head dipped, swishing the ends of her hair over my skin like teasing feathers. Without warning, she took my breast into her mouth, latching onto it sharply, suckling...
Ugh, a bolt of unending pleasure shot from my nipple—which had disappeared entirely into her mouth—straight down to my sex, throbbing so deeply, my hips began twitching of their own volition, seeking contact that was just out of reach.
She released my breast, letting it fall back against my chest with a suckle right at the very tip. Before I could catch my breath, she’d moved to the next, going in with such a deep pull that I felt my nipple hit the grooves on the roof of her mouth.
And then I felt it—the cool tingle of the saliva on my abandoned breast drying out in the air-conditioned room. The contrast between that cooling sensation and her hot, suckling mouth was a revelation. I arched into it, fingers delving into her hair, holding her to my chest like she was my lifeline.
She went back and forth, the pull, the pop, the suckling, the slurping, all noises of her erotic hypnotism. I could feel the first coils of release building up in my belly, swirling upward slowly. My hips undulated beneath her instinctively and I almost groaned when there was nothing to meet my needy core.
When she pulled off my left breast, I was expecting her attention to shift to the right again, but instead I felt kisses on my stomach.
“Wait—where are you going?”
I hated how needy my words sounded. High and whiny.
But she seemed to love it because her eyes flashed in the dark again.
“I need to taste you. Open for me, angel.”
And I did.
The thin panties were no barrier at all to her seeking fingers. She simply tugged them to the side, lifting my entire lower half off the seat, like an overgrown kid too eager to eat a piece of candy.
I’d never... Nobody had... Oh shit, shit, shit.
She held me like that, bent half in the air with my pussy in her mouth like I was some kind of toy. Something she could move around and play with as she pleased. Her movements were so certain, so sure, so primed to strum my arousal that I couldn’t keep up. My breath skittered, narrowing on her lapping tongue, coiling tighter, tighter...
Her fingers slipped into me and I bucked, loving how full it made me feel, whining at the satisfaction of finally being taken. Taken by Havi.
She was relentless in her pursuit of my pleasure, and I devolved into little grunts and groans, hips twitching as I sought that release that was just...a little bit...further...
I covered my face with my hands, cutting out everything else but the feel of her mouth on me, her fingers inside me.
I can do this...
I can...
It’s right there, just feel the rhythm of her fingers and you’ll reach it...
I’m a normal person, like everyone else. I can have a satisfying orgasm with a lover. I can...
Chapter Seven
Havi
The last time I’d felt such panic was when I’d been attacked on patrol with a knife to my chest.
Somehow, even without the imminent threat to my life, my heart was thudding triple time in its cavity. The tears in Fay’s eyes seemed to cut me straight to the quick, slicing more efficiently than any knife.
Her body was taut with desperation, veins in her neck standing out, hands clenched into fists...
I reeled. Only a second ago, she’d been shuddering under me, and I thought she’d been on the edge of release, but now...now it seemed like she was on the edge of a breakdown.
I started to relax my hold on her, intent on gathering her in my arms. They were aching and empty with the almost violent need to comfort her, to tell her it was okay. Whatever it was, we could work through it together.
“Fay...”
I don’t know how she moved so fast without falling over. But one minute she was under me with my fingers still inside her, and the next, she was standing a few feet away, dashing tears from her eyes.
“I’m sorry, I...can’t.”
I sat up quickly. “It’s all right, angel. Just come here...”
She backed away, bumping into the coffee table as she moved without looking where she was going. “I can’t... I’m so sorry, Havi. I’m broken. I should have told you earlier.”
Broken? I frowned at that word, wanting to insist that it had nothing to do with her. She was the most perfect woman in the world and the implication of that word made me want to yell that she’d gotten it all wrong. There was nothing in this world that would make me think she was... I almost shuddered just thinking about that word again. Remembering how she’d looked when she’d said it.
She kept moving away from me, dark eyes frightened and frustrated. As I watched, her back hit the kitchen wall. I took a step toward her slowly so I wouldn’t spook her, breath skittering in my chest as I fought not to panic.
“No, Havi.” She put a hand out and I stopped. “Please just let me be. I... I’m so sorry I kept this from you. You don’t deserve this.”
“Angel,” I said, trying to be a voice of reason despite the tightness clawing at my throat. “We can try again—”
“No amount of ‘trying again’ is gonna change me, Havi.” Her words were bitter through her tears. “I just thought maybe...maybe it would be different this time. But it never is.”
Before I could say anything else, before I could tell her nothing mattered to me as much as having her soft weight in my arms again, she fled down the corridor and I heard a door snick shut.
I glanced at the chrono tracker with its blinking time. 9:01.
If I hurried, I could get back to the center in thirty minutes. That left me half an hour to try and coax Fay out of that room.
But no amount of knocking and pleading would change her mind. I briefly thought about kicking the door down, but I really didn’t want to scare her, and I certainly wouldn’t want to accidentally hurt her if she was standing anywhere near it.
So I paced, crossing back and forth in front of the closed door until I thought I might burn a hole in the carpet.
“Fay. Angel... I have to head back to the center, okay? Could you call me in the morning or something? Look, I promise we can talk this out. Whatever’s going through your mind is probably worse than what it actually is. I’ll be waiting, okay? Fay?”
All I heard was a couple of sniffles, each one tearing at my chest as though they had claws.
I looked at the chrono again. 9:29.
Fuck.
Fuck this stupid curfew and those patrol motherfuckers who were trying to keep me caged. I caught myself before my fist connected with the door and forced myself to take a breath.
In and out. You’re calm, collected. There’s no point getting angry in a situation you can’t fix.
I should let her calm down. My head knew that, but my heart refused to let go. I just needed one hug, one kiss, one brief touch to let me know things were all right between us. Have I somehow fucked up without even realizing it?
9:32.
I gave the door one last rap.
“Call me. I’ll be waiting.”
Nothing but sniffles.
I tried to let my frustration out in a sigh, but it was no use. Turning away, I jogged out of the apartment with a heavy heart.
