Kodiak revved the car, the sound powerful and strong. He ignored Roan, who closed the passenger door.

  “Don’t keep information from me again,” he said firmly.

  She nodded. “I won’t.”

  “Make sure you don’t, Tamaska.” He flashed a smile into the rearview mirror. I want you with me. We’re a team.”

  A real one, where we share things?” Her voice was soft. “Like about what I am?”

  A heavy pause weighed in the air as Kodiak reentered the highway.

  “After the ceremony, if there’s anything Ash has found. We’ll talk then—but only if there’s enough time.”

  “Promise?” she asked.

  The word twisted in him, unravelling parts of him and he hated the way she undermined him so easily without meaning to.

  “Only if you promise to obey me, like we talked about.”

  She quirked her lips in an almost smile. “Promise. Master.”

  “Then I promise, too.”

  “See, that wasn’t so hard, you two. You’ve got your first lovers’ fight behind you. Now it’s just smooth sailing ahead,” said Ash.

  Kodiak growled a warning.

  “Not seeing the humor, then?”

  He growled louder. Ash put her head down, returning to her research on the laptop.

  “You know, Tamaska, everything I’ve done has been to protect you,” said Kodiak.

  “I know.”

  “Then we understand each other better now,” said Kodiak.

  “We do.”

  If Tamaska had wolf shifter genes, everything would make more sense. What excited him more than anything was that he’d no longer be bringing a human into the pack.

  Her ancestry would give her the right to be there, and she’d be more likely survive the change.

  Things were starting to look brighter for the pack. But how long would that last?

  CHAPTER 10

  Tamaska

  Night wrapped around the car as they continued driving along the highway. The odd flashes of headlights and red taillights made Tamaska feel more alone than if they were the only ones out here.

  Like normalcy could now only be experienced through a window.

  An uneasy silence settled over the car after her altercation with Kodiak. But Tamaska hoped things would improve now they’d made their mutual promises. And he was right, this was huge for them. So many changes and losses it hurt thinking about it.

  Her heart ached for him. For the burden that lay on him, not just with her and keeping her safe but with the pack, with taking on leadership.

  She rubbed her aching head. The pain seemed to get worse, not better and she put it down to the stress of everything.

  Because understanding the heaviness of his burdens, of pack structure as much as she could, it was still difficult for her to accept, her being shoved into a passive role.

  It was hard not to make suggestions and take the lead. She was so used to running a team herself from her job organizing marketing events that being bossed around was new.

  Though that wasn’t entirely true. She’s had bosses to answer to. She’d worked well enough with them, but she’d had a team to command, responsibilities and if she was brutally honest, her goal had never been to sit on her laurels.

  She’d planned on being her own boss. Not part of some shifter commune. Again, not fair, but that’s how it felt. And she felt…utterly useless. A burden herself.

  Somehow, she needed to change her ways. She had to get used to being told what to do and become part of a team in a very different way than she was used to.

  I can do this.

  At least she was still in the car with Kodiak, and he hadn’t pushed her away like she’d done to him. He certainly had every right to, after the huge mistakes she’d made.

  Pushing him away wasn’t her goal. It never had been since she accepted him for what he was. And yet that’s what she did.

  And Kodiak? Under all the hard edges and uncompromising air he had a softness for her she loved.

  Even if he didn’t he was a decent man. He’s never abandon her to the vampires because she hadn’t followed his orders.

  No, but he just might lock her away somewhere.

  The thought made her almost smile and she would have except her head hurt.

  She looked up and her heart lurched. For the thousandth time, she caught his fleeting glance in the rearview mirror before looking away.

  Tamaska didn’t trust herself to hold his stare for long because of the desires it stirred within her. They needed a lot of time to talk and to, well, fuck.

  Instinctively she knew sex was a big part of expression for him.

  And she… She needed to stop. She couldn’t indulge in hot daydreams and fantasies, not even to pass the time in the car. It distracted her, and what…what if they noticed?

  Besides, vampires were out there wanting her blood, and she wasn’t about to let them have any—not even a drop. She would not be responsible for helping them evolve into something even stronger.

  Ash muttered to herself and Tamaska eyed the computer, trying to discern what she was researching. That took her mind off how fast Kodiak was driving and how carsick Roan still looked.

  The female shifter typed fast, and the screen shone dimly, even in the dark car. The light wasn’t enough for her to glean any information before her efforts worsened her headache. Still, Tamaska kept trying to read the words Ash typed and the information flashing on the screen.

  “Don’t be so nosey,” muttered Ash. She angled the laptop away from Tamaska.

  This is about me. I have a right to know.

  Tamaska didn’t speak the words out loud, hard as that was. She’d caused enough ripples in the pack after letting Amdis corner her. She needed to think long-term, to get on better with the pack members—even if it meant being silent, being less domineering.

  Still, that didn’t mean she would give up on trying to find more information. Instead, she would simply go about it more subtly.

  Tamaska pretended to look out the window until Ash moved back to her original position, which made it easier to type. Once more, Tamaska tried to read the screen through her peripheral vision.

  Wolf genes…ancestry…family tree…Lane…

  None of the information she gleaned gave her any further insight. What it did give her was a more intense headache and increased nausea.

  “Are you doing all right?” asked Roan from the front passenger seat.

  “Yeah,” she lied, resting her head against the cool window glass and closing her eyes. There was nothing to be done for her medically. She had to endure the side effects of a blow to the head and suffer the consequences of a stupid decision.

  “You know, you can ask me some questions,” offered Roan.

  “About what? Transforming into a shifter?”

  “No.” Roan paused, inhaling slowly. “General questions about wolf shifters and vampires.”

  Tamaska’s eyes flicked open, immediately locking with Kodiak’s in the mirror. He nodded, giving his approval.

  “Are they sworn enemies?” This could be a good time for her to see if there was any truth to the stories she’d seen in fantasy books, TV series, and movies. “Or is it just this particular lot with your pack?”

  “Enemies all over. We want different thing to them.” Roan laughed weakly and she knew he was fighting the nausea. She felt it too, but for different reasons. “We want to be left alone, they want destruction. And they’re arrogant, they think they should rule, so we keep them from taking over the human world.”

  “I thought so.” Tamaska fired off the next question. “How long can you be in human form?”

  This she really wanted to know. All the questions about shifters pushed at her, wanting to be asked.

  If they could control it, then maybe after she changed she could too. Maybe she could—

  “As long as we want, depending on how disciplined we are,” Roan said. “Our wolf side gets more restless the longer we leave it, but it can be managed for months at a time if necessary.”

  “What about your wolf form? How long?”

  “A night, a day, a few days, max. Otherwise the wolf form will dominate, and the human will be lost. It’s also dangerous to be in our wolf form too long, because humans will kill us if they see us.”

  “But you protect humans.” She already knew that basic information, but repeating it helped ease the restlessness rippling through her.

  “Yes,” Kodiak muttered, “because we know how to kill vampires. It’s our duty.”

  “How do you do that? Garlic? Holy water?”

  Kodiak said softly, “If only. You know how, you’ve seen it. It’s as bloody as all get out, ripping them apart with our teeth or claws. Or you can stake them through the heart.”

  “Exactly that,” said Roan. “Never think about it, really. It just is.”

  It just is. She rolled his words around her head. Maybe that’s why Kodiak found it hard to tell her the information she craved.

  “Like in the movies, I guess,” Roan said. “Truth morphed into fiction once supernaturals were forced away from humans and into the shadows centuries ago. They think they forgot us, but they remember us in movies. They think it’s all fiction, but it’s not.”

  She nodded. “So, no special way to kill them?”

  “Not really…sounds like you’re keen to kill one,” he said.

  “Of course. Aren’t you?” She looked at him in surprise. If she was going to kill Amdis, then she needed all the information she could get.

  “Yes, but only on a need-to-kill basis. I don’t go around hunting them. No one in the pack does.”

  “Apart from pups with something to prove,” Ash said.

  Kodiak laughed. “Pups always have something to prove.”

  She wanted to laugh with them, but somehow it make her feel more of an outsider than before.

  “Don’t get me wrong,” Roan said, “we need to stop them from doing whatever they’re doing, and we’ll fight them to the death.”

  Tamaska had fought vampires herself with the few karate moves she’d remembered. But as she went over all they were saying she wasn’t sure if she meant it about killing one. She hated them yes. Hated them for killing her friend. But maybe her knee jerk reaction of death and destruction just made things worse.

  Or maybe it just showed the wide gap between her and shifters yet again. Even if she did have shifter blood, she’d been brought up human. Thought human. Shifter ways still seemed alien.

  And really, would she be able to do that? To kill like the wolves did on the night of the attack?

  Pain shot through Tamaska’s head, and she inhaled sharply. She was overthinking. There was so much to process, and she’d barely scratched the surface. If only her headache would go away so she could keep questioning Roan.

  Another bolt of pain cut through her head, and she winced.

  “Here, I have something for the pain,” said Roan. He rummaged through the medical bag, which rested on the floor between his feet.

  Roan passed a blister pack back to Tamaska. “They’ll help.”

  “What is it?” She turned the foil package over in her hands, noticing two tablets inside but no writing on the outside.

  “An old herbal blend I put into tablet form.”

  “Not anything illegal?”

  “No!” he exclaimed. “For that, you need to go to Moki.”

  “Is that right?” Kodiak didn’t sound happy.

  “I don’t want those kind of drugs,” she said.

  Tamaska didn’t take recreational drugs these days, not since she’d decided to grow up and work to having her own business. Not that that would be happening.

  Did shifters even have regular jobs? They had a security business, but just normal jobs? And then would she be allowed to get or start her own business if they did all work?

  It seemed unlikely. Her kind of job meant attention, they operated in the shadows. The other side to the vampire coin, she supposed. Security gigs were always less is more in the being seen department. What would her role in the pack even be?

  “I’m going to have to talk to that idiot. Drugs. Since when do we dabble in fucking drugs? Evey pack member needs to be ready to fight vampires. We can’t afford to be under the influence at any time,” said Kodiak firmly. “And, like Olcan, I will enforce that. Or if he’s been doing that under Olcan’s nose, step hard on his stupid neck and stop the pup.”

  “As expected,” said Roan. “I think Olcan had other worries. Not that you don’t.”

  Tamaska popped the tablets out of their pack before dry-swallowing them. “Will these work?” She closing her eyes to endure more shooting pain in her head. The increased throbbing ripped the rest of her questions to shreds. Tiredness weighed on her, and she fought to keep herself alert. She wanted to witness Kodiak become the alpha.

  “Hell, yes,” said Roan. “But you’re still going to have to take it easy for a few days, at least.”

  Tamaska didn’t need to be told that her injury would prevent her long-awaited transformation for the next few days, that was clear without him saying it. The waiting and sitting about annoyed her, but she wouldn’t say anything. If keeping her mouth shut would help speed things up, then she would gladly oblige. For now.

  Within a few minutes, the effects of the tablets started to ease her head. “For herbs, this stuff is powerful.”

  “We wolves know a few of nature’s tricks,” said Roan proudly.

  Curiosity, jealousy, and the longing to be included stirred something else deep within Tamaska, as if a part of herself was only just beginning to wake up. That part was impatient and desired freedom. She’d never felt anything like that before.

  It was as if her brain was opening up and soaking in all the things in the air in the car.

  Should I tell Kodiak about this?

  But he had enough to deal with and it was just the herbs. Besides, she wanted to hold on to this strange awakening as her secret, even for now. Surely even the closest of packmates didn’t share every single detail with each other?

  Tamaska was about to ask Roan another question when Kodiak slowed and turned off the highway. They had nearly arrived. Tamaska sensed that somehow, even though it was black outside with no streetlights or cars around.

  Was it just the tablets that heightened her awareness?

  Or was something else happening to her?

  Maybe learning about wolf shifters and vampires opened something in her and these crazy new sensations were to do with her potential shifter ancestry. Maybe she was finally reacting to the horrors she’d witnessed during the vampire attack.

  Then again, maybe her new awareness was just a side effect of this new world she’d been thrust into. Maybe she was simply adapting, finally noticing things that had always been in plain sight but beyond her understanding.

  Tamaska shifted in the seat, waiting to get out and stretch her legs. After the long car ride, she longed to fill her lungs with fresh country air.

  The car bumped, sending Tamaska bouncing around the backseat. She scrambled for something to hold on to before slamming into Ash.

  “Geez, Kodiak, this is the last time I’m riding with you,” said Roan.

  The wheels rumbled across gravel, announcing they were close to the hut. He kept driving, down a curving drive until a glowing light appeared.

  Kodiak ignored Roan, his concentrated gaze set straight ahead. Despite their bond, Kodiak felt more distant than ever in that moment.

  Tamaska’s pulse increased. She needed to be fully prepared for the events that lay ahead. No matter what. Her gut tightened, convincing her there would be more to Kodiak’s ceremony than she’d been told.

  CHAPTER 11

  Tamaska

  She pressed her nose against the glass of the car window. The clearing in front of the hut had been transformed into something fascinating.

  Bamboo torches protruded from the earth at regular intervals to form a semi-circle, their flames bright against the darkness of night. Shadows danced from the fire flickering on the ground. The surrounding dirt had been raked smooth, all its rocks and plants removed.

  The sacred feel immediately struck her, like she was about to witness something extraordinary, and her gut churned with excitement and trepidation.

  Regardless of the fact they were protecting her, she was aware of the privilege of being here. One she didn’t take lightly.

  Tamaska shivered as Kodiak parked the car somewhere out of the way.

  “Come on, we have a ceremony to start,” said Kodiak, getting out of the car and stretching.

  Ash finished typing, snapped the laptop shut, and rushed out. Roan, too, was out in a flash, taking deep breaths. His skin had finally started to lose its sickly pallor from the journey.

  Tamaska struggled with the seat belt. Those tablets must have slowed her down. Ash stood nearby beside Kodiak, their heads bent close as they whispered.

  Her heart squeezed. What had Ash learned? Tamaska was desperate to find out. But she stopped herself from overreacting. They had a lot on their plates and maybe this wasn’t about her. She needed to calm.

  She finally got the seatbelt off and stumbled out of the vehicle, the cool night air she inhaled making her lungs ache. The sharp scent of the eucalyptus trees surrounding them cleared her mind, but that wasn’t enough to help her make out a single word from Kodiak and Ash’s conversation.

  Tamaska pressed one hand against the car to steady herself. The concussion still held her back, adding to her frustration. She picked her way around the back of the car, heading for Kodiak and Ash.

  Now would be a good time for some magical super-hearing to kick in. Didn’t wolves have sharper hearing, or something like that?

  Then again, even if she had magical super-hearing, the thumping ache in her head and the effect of the tablets would probably dampen her abilities.

  Christ she was a mess.

  Kodiak stood with his back to Tamaska, and Ash refused to even look in her direction.

  “Hey, slow down.” Roan grabbed her arm, simultaneously steadying her and moving her away from Kodiak. “You know, you’re supposed to take it easy,” he added.

 

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