Rumor Mill, page 4
When I arrived this time, there was one security guard at the front, but he was smiling and chatting with the receptionist. Maybe the increased fortifications had to do with unruly residents, and the lax restrictions were indicative of a problem-free few hours. Assuming that was the case, I went up to the desk to sign myself in.
“Alec Miller,” I requested.
“I’ll get him for you,” the guard said.
“Thanks,” I replied, watching him walk through the double doors into the facility.
A moment later, he was back with Alec in tow. As if picking up on the cues from the institution itself, Alec also swung hot and cold. I was so used to his one ugly drunken mood that these occasional glimpses of humor and relaxation were striking.
That day he was in good spirits. Not manic or depressed, he coasted right in between, like any regular person I might meet in a coffee shop. He gave me a sly smile, gesturing me through the foyer and into the center itself. I followed cautiously, not wanting to engage with anyone other than my brother.
There was an open space that was designed to be comfortable, with a selection of intimate seating arrangements. Couches, coffee tables, and ottomans were scattered around what looked like a club room in the back of a strip joint. The only difference was that everyone was in recovery, and there was no skin to be seen.
Alec took a seat at one table, watching as I sat down opposite him. We had nothing to drink and nothing to eat, no books or puzzles to work on, nothing but each other. It was strange and a little bit raw.
“How are things going?” I asked.
“Fine,” he said with a shrug. “I’m hanging in there. One day at a time.”
“How long has it been?”
“Two weeks on Friday,” he answered.
“Congratulations.”
“Thanks.” He gave me that smile again, and I couldn’t remember ever seeing it before. Maybe when we were really young, before he got into drinking and drugs. It was clever and attractive. I could imagine women being drawn to him in that moment and hoped that this was the recovery attempt that would stick. “How are Mom and Dad?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I haven’t spoken to them since the night I brought you here.”
“Needed a break?” he guessed.
“I’ve had other things on my mind.”
“Like what?” Alec shifted in his seat, giving me his full attention. It was a strange sensation to have my brother fully present. But I would take it. There was nothing like a sympathetic ear to make you feel better, and I needed all the sympathy I could get.
“Teddy and I are being sued,” I said.
“By who?” Alec demanded.
“This girl...Nikki,” I couldn’t remember how much I’d shared with Alec previously.
“I know Nikki,” Alec replied. “I used to work there, remember?”
I chuckled. “I clean forgot.”
“How could you forget?” he charged. “You were pissed at me. And may I remind you that I broke into your office as well?”
“And you lost your job,” I mused, stroking my chin. “That might help my case, considering that you are my brother and I fired you.”
“I don’t know if you ever filed the paperwork,” Alec answered, not angry, just nosy.
“I didn’t,” I said.
“Figured,” he replied. “So I’m not sure if that will help your case.”
“No,” I said with a sigh, “I suppose not.”
“Nikki’s suing you for wrongful termination?” Alec guessed.
“That’s right,” I confirmed.
“Over the Teddy thing?”
I nodded.
“How’s Teddy dealing with it?”
“She’s holding up, but she’s clearly stressed.” I picked at a scar in the table, needing something to do with my hands.
“I’m sure you’ll get through this,” Alec said thoughtfully, “I think it’s great, by the way, that you two met each other.”
I looked up, surprised to see him smiling. “Me too,” I agreed.
“And I can’t tell you how sorry I am that I came on to her like that.” He expressed his regret in the most levelheaded way possible.
“Well, I’m not going to bring her around anytime soon.” I hesitated, not wanting to give him false hope. “But if everything continues according to plan, you might have a lifetime to make amends.”
“I would appreciate that,” he said. “I’d hate to think that my actions hampered your happiness in any way.”
I looked away, uncomfortable with the direct compliment. “Who the hell are you and what have you done with my brother?”
Alec grinned. “I’m still here, I’ve just had a lot of time to think. Really, all we do here is think.”
“I hope you don’t spend all your time thinking about me.” I cringed.
“A certain amount,” he admitted. “I’ve been such an ass to both you and Teddy.”
“I won’t argue with that,” I said.
“I’d love to have a drink,” he admitted. “Half the time I’m thinking about what kind of drink I want, and the other half I’m thinking about how much of a mess I’ve made. It’s a singular kind of hell.”
“But you look better than I’ve seen you in a long time,” I observed.
“Yeah, I think sleeping all night and eating regularly helps,” he quipped.
“Any advice for those of us about to be put through the wringer?”
“Don’t drink,” Alec advised.
I shook my head. “I don’t drink much.”
“Just stick by each other,” he said seriously. “I’m not the right guy to be giving advice, but I’d say it’ll be easier to go through it together than on your own.”
“And what about you?” I asked.
“Oh, I burned all my bridges,” Alec replied with a sardonic smile. “It’s just you, Mom, and Dad at this point.”
“We’re not that different,” I suggested, knowing it was true.
“It’s going to get worse before it gets better.” Alec straightened, capturing my gaze. “That’s what they all say.”
“In my case, I hope that’s not true,” I said.
“I hope so too,” he replied.
We spent a few minutes talking about the food in the rehab center, and the twelve-step meetings that Alec was forced to sit through. Of course he didn’t share any content from the speakers, but he had a few observations about the program itself that he had been saving up to share with someone outside of recovery.
It was good to see him using the critical part of his brain to figure things out. I remembered how argumentative he used to be as a kid, always trying to one-up me with the latest information. All that had become lost when he started using. Lately, his sarcasm had taken the form of drunken rants and inappropriate moves. But listening to him objectively describe his treatment, I took heart. Maybe things would work out.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that I hadn’t yet seen the worst yet. Things were brewing that I had no control over. I wanted to believe that the lawsuit was just a bump in the road, but it was starting to feel like a disaster.
Chapter 6
Theodora
EVEN THOUGH IT HAD only been a matter of weeks since I’d moved out from above his garage, I found myself visiting my brother Corey. He had the stability I craved, happily married with two children. With them, I could be my whole, neurotic self. I didn’t have to impress them or do anything special. Just being there was enough, and I needed that all of a sudden.
It was the night before my meeting with Nikki, and I wasn’t expecting it to go well. Brad was visiting with his brother, and I needed a shoulder to cry on. Corey was my ace in the hole, the one I turned to when no one else was available. He never turned me away, and he always had my back.
I showed up on his doorstep Wednesday afternoon with a box of mini donuts from the convenience store. “I brought dessert,” I said hopefully.
“Come on in,” Corey responded, stepping away from the door to allow me into his house.
The family wasn’t ready to eat yet. The girls had just gotten home and were changing their clothes. Sunny was leafing through junk mail at the kitchen island. She put the stack of envelopes down and gave me a big hug.
“It feels like I haven’t seen you in ages,” she said fiercely.
“I’ll have to visit more regularly,” I suggested, handing over the donuts.
She set them on the counter and went back to sorting her letters. I hadn’t been at my apartment long enough for junk mail to catch up with me, but I knew it would happen eventually. I watched as she took the bulk of the pile and tossed it straight into recycling.
“So how’s Andrew working out?” Corey asked, reaching into the refrigerator for a soda.
As soon as he asked, the kitchen filled with the screams of my little nieces as they discovered I was among them. Cassie raced to my side, throwing her arms around me. Chloe marched through the kitchen, launching straight into a story about a wasp she and her friends were teasing on the playground.
“It’s not a good idea to tease wasps,” her mother said, only half paying attention.
“I know,” Chloe said, climbing up onto a chair even though no one else was at the table. “We made sure to let it go when we were done.”
“That was kind of you,” I observed.
Chloe shrugged. “We think it had a family.”
“Wasps don’t work like that,” Cassie informed us.
“I’m surprised you saw one this late in the year.” Corey narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Are you sure it was a wasp?”
“Jenny said so,” Chloe reported.
“All right,” Sunny cut in, deciding we’d had enough of that conversation. “Girls, set the table please.”
The kids reluctantly followed their mother’s orders, pulling plates from the cabinet and distributing them around the table. I grabbed a wooden spoon and shooed Corey away from the stove. He had put a pot of spaghetti on to cook, and it was nearly ready.
Sunny took a moment to run upstairs and change. I fell into the groove of family dinner as easily has I had when I was living next door. It was great to absorb the energy from a loving household. The spaghetti wasn’t something Brad or I would have chosen. It was too simple and unsophisticated. But it was the perfect weekday meal for a family of four, five if you counted their auntie.
After dinner, the girls dragged me into the living room, where we played a board game for an hour. I was able to share snippets of real conversation with Corey as he knelt on the floor beside me. We were getting into the game, pretending to hunt each other down across the colorful squares.
“I just need a four,” he said, rolling the dice.
It turned up with a two, and Chloe’s hand shot out to point and laugh at her father.
“All right, little ones,” Corey sighed eventually. “It’s time for bed.”
“Can Teddy read us a bedtime story?” Chloe asked abruptly.
“Of course,” Corey responded, sparing only the slightest glance my way for confirmation.
I helped clean up the board game and then hoofed it upstairs with the children to help them settle down for the night. Cassie came into Chloe’s room so that we could all read together. They were working their way through a novel, and it was one of my absolute favorites. The Black Cauldron, by Lloyd Alexander, was one I’d read several times as an adolescent. I didn’t remember much of the plot, and I had to start in the middle where Sunny had left off the previous night.
We spent a chapter with Taran and Princess Eilonwy until finally Chloe fell asleep. I helped Cassie back to her room and tucked her in, leaving the book on her bedside table. Stopping in the hallway bathroom, I took a look at my face. It was stressed. I could see the worry in my eyes. Thank goodness the girls were asleep, and I could unload on my brother.
I found him in the kitchen, sharing a glass of wine with his wife. They were too cute together sometimes. I wondered if Brad and I would ever have the privilege of living the same way. Would we have children I could tuck in at night? Would we tuck ourselves away at the end of the night with only a glass of wine between us?
I sat down, not really feeling like I was intruding. They only had to ask me to leave and I would. But they were family, and I was in need of a helping hand, so I stayed. Placing my palms on the table, I stretched my fingers out in all directions, as if just by feeling the table top, I could get a grip on my life.
“So how’s Andrew working out?” Corey asked again.
“He’s great,” I said. Andrew was Corey’s friend from college, a hard-working lawyer who was representing me pro bono. I was lucky to have found someone so dedicated, and it was all because Corey had introduced us. “Thanks for setting that up.”
“Yeah, I’ve never actually seen him in action,” Corey said, sliding an arm around his wife’s shoulders.
“I haven’t really either,” I admitted. “But we have a meeting tomorrow with Nikki and her lawyers, so I guess I’ll get to see him work his magic.”
“You’re not feeling positive about the meeting,” Sunny observed.
“No, I’m not,” I agreed. “It didn’t go well for Brad on Monday. So I’m not expecting it to go well for me.”
“You never know,” Sunny cautioned me against getting too down in the dumps. True to her name, she was always determined to look on the bright side.
I was too much of an artist to remain optimistic all the time. That reminded me, there were a few more supplies in the loft above the garage that I could take with me when I went. I realized there wasn’t anything that Corey or Sunny could do to help. What I really wanted to do was get it over with.
On the other side, it couldn’t possibly seem so daunting. Could it? What was the worst that could happen? Nikki would refuse my offer of settlement, and we would go to court. I almost had a panic attack thinking about that outcome and realized that kind of thinking wasn’t helping.
I needed to get home where I could think clearly. Maybe a bath or a yoga session would help. Or maybe I could find Brad and get my anxiety out the old-fashioned way. I texted him to see if he was interested in getting together. He sent me a reply almost immediately telling me to come right over.
Chapter 7
Brad
TEDDY STOPPED OVER on Wednesday, but she didn’t spend the night. She had already eaten with her brother and was too wound up to sit still. She knocked on my door and kissed me as soon as I let her in. We adjourned to the guest bedroom, where we fell into each other’s arms and made wild, passionate love for an hour. I fully expected her to put her pajamas on and curl up on the couch, but she had other plans.
“I just want to sleep in my own bed,” she explained.
I touched her hair, sensing that there was more to the story. “Do you want to talk about it? Or we could box about it. I have a punching bag in the basement.”
She blinked, having not considered that angle before. “Okay,” she agreed.
I led the way down to the basement, into a separate gym space that she had never seen before. That was the thing about owning a mansion. There were always new rooms to explore. I had a boxing studio set up mostly so that I could get my cardio in. I wasn’t a violent person, but there were times when hitting a bag was the only thing that kept me sane.
I tossed her a pair of gloves. She wore her bra and panties with a bathrobe from the downstairs bathroom. I wore my underwear and a T-shirt. We were quite the pair, getting ready to make some noise with next to nothing on.
“First you have to wrap your hands up,” I instructed, demonstrating the wrapping technique on my own left hand.
She smiled bravely, following my lead.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” I asked.
“You know what it is,” she replied, binding her fist tightly with white gauze. “I’m just worried about the meeting tomorrow.”
“Then spend the night,” I argued.
“That wouldn’t be fair to you,” she replied. “I’m probably not going to get a lot of sleep.”
I let the matter drop. I didn’t want to apply any pressure to her. She had her own apartment for a reason, and I wasn’t going to interfere. At least if I could allow her to exercise some of her demons before leaving, I would feel better about her being alone.
“After the wrap, then you put the gloves on,” I said, investigating her hands. They looked solid, so I helped her ease the padded gloves on over her fingers.
She took a few tentative jabs at the bag as it swung from the ceiling. I came around to hold the bag for her, feeling like a trainer in every boxing movie ever made. I shouted encouragement as she thumped on the leather.
“Think of it as Nikki,” I said.
She punched harder.
“Think of it as Nikki’s lawyer.”
She dug down deep and let it rip, pummeling the surface with everything she had. A gloss of sweat began to show on her forehead, and I knew she was releasing some of her pent-up energy. By the time we were done, she was breathing hard.
“Let me hold it for you,” she offered.
“That’s okay,” I refused. I didn’t want to hurt her.
“No, really,” she insisted.
I took a couple gentle swings at the bag as she held it firm. I could sense my time with her was winding down, and I didn’t want to spend it in anger. We took our gloves off and unwrapped our hands, setting the implements down in their allotted places.
I walked her back upstairs and went into the kitchen while she got dressed. She returned to find me, looking a little bit better than when she’d arrived. I snapped the container shut on the box of leftovers I was about to heat up.
“I hope I was helpful.”
“You were more helpful than you can imagine,” she replied, kissing me. “Just being here for me is exactly what I need.”
“I aim to please,” I said.
“You do more than please,” she responded with a wink.
I watched her go, making no move to follow. She would be safe in the neighborhood on the way to her own apartment, and I could see her tomorrow if I wanted to. In fact, I decided to stop by her place early in the morning. Since we were officially dating, I didn’t feel the need to announce every visit. I could surprise her with breakfast before work and give myself one last chance to bolster her spirits.
