Rumor Mill, page 16
I saw the sky, midnight blue against the streetlights, swinging into view each time I crested. And I saw the ground, soft shavings of woodchips that scattered beneath my feet each time I touched them.
It was crazy. I felt alive after being numb for so long. I stayed on the swing for nearly fifteen minutes, working up a sweat. By the time I got back to my apartment, I was ready to try sleeping again. This time I was successful, and I managed to get in a good six hours before having to wake up again.
Friday was uneventful. Like any young professional, I wanted to let my hair down after work. Unfortunately, I had just broken up with my boyfriend, so I couldn’t go over to his house. The last “girls’ night out” I’d attended had ended in disaster. That was the time when Nikki convinced us all to break into Retro’s offices.
Again, I was faced with a choice between going home or going to visit Corey. The gallery had events every Friday night, catering to the wealthy customers who wanted a little wine and conversation with their purchase. I asked Annie if I could stay and help out.
Regarding me suspiciously, she said, “I actually do need some help. Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“I don’t have anything else to do,” I explained. “And maybe I’ll have some fun and learn something new.”
“Good attitude,” Annie approved.
The showing lasted until eleven, and it was a blast. There was prosecco for the customers, and tiny shrimp and mushroom hors d’oeuvres from some five-star restaurant downtown. I was sure Annie had paid a fortune for them, but it was worth it. You had to spend money to make money.
The point of the showing wasn’t necessarily to sell, just to create an event where the well-to-do felt comfortable. The idea was that they would enjoy themselves and come back later to purchase some art.
During the course of the evening, however, a number of them selected paintings they wanted to take home. Since I was the cashier, I rang them up, packaging their purchases and helping them out to their cars.
Going home afterward, I didn’t feel like quite such a loser. I might not have someone to spend my off hours with, but at least I didn’t spend it alone in front of the television. Walking into my apartment and finding it cold and dark, I wondered if I should get a cat.
The thought of that made me laugh. The last thing I needed was an animal to take care of. Plus being a single cat lady at thirty-four wasn’t exactly the image I was looking for. I took off my work clothes and changed into my pajamas. Forgoing late-night television, I went straight to bed.
Over the weekend, I struggled to keep myself occupied. I went to the library and checked out a few books. I usually liked romance novels, but at the moment, I was feeling more true crime. Reading about others’ misfortune helped me put mine in perspective. And with the court case looming, it seemed only natural to learn about how others faced that particular obstacle.
Andrew Burke called me to ask if I had made a decision. I was ninety percent convinced that I didn’t want to argue my case, but Brad’s admonition on Wednesday night held me back. I knew that if I decided to pursue my plan of surrender, I might hurt him. That was the last thing I wanted to do.
Despite the fact that I hadn’t spoken to him since saying goodbye three nights ago, I didn’t consider the relationship entirely over. Sure, it seemed final, but there were missing threads that hadn’t been snipped. I still cared about him, and I was sure he still cared about me. It was possible that we might be able to fix things, and I needed to take that into consideration.
“No,” I told Andrew. “I haven’t made a decision yet.”
“We’re due in court on Monday,” Andrew reminded me.
“I know,” I said. “And thank you for your patience.”
He sighed, and I could tell that I was being one of his more difficult clients. That wasn’t going to sway me either way, though. If I paid Nikki or if I didn’t, Andrew was still going to get his cut. I couldn’t let his agenda get in the way of the more important issues. The only thing that mattered was my mental health and my rocky relationship with Brad. Other than that, there were no considerations that interested me.
“I’ll see you on Monday,” I promised.
“I’ll be there,” he agreed.
We hung up with unresolved tension, something that I could have easily dispensed with just by giving him an answer. I spent the next few hours obsessing over what I was going to say on Monday. That evening, I treated myself to pizza and a movie at my place. Sitting on the couch with a whole pizza to myself, I felt like I might as well have a cat. There wasn’t anything more depressing than staying in on a Saturday night.
I checked my phone obsessively for texts from Brad, but there were none. Corey called to check in on me. Bless his heart, with all the people who were relying on him, he took the time to call his baby sister.
I kept my chin up, refusing to let my brother hear how upset I was. We talked about the gallery party, and I managed to get Corey to tell me about Chloe and Cassie. It was always a good bet that a parent would want to share details about their little angels. I learned that Chloe was on a sleepover and that Cassie had skinned her knee playing basketball.
Once again, I found myself a little bit jealous. Corey didn’t have to worry about staying home on Saturday night. For him, every night was a party, and there was so much love, he didn’t have to bother seeking it out from other people.
“I’m fine,” I told him.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“One hundred percent,” I asserted. “I’ll call you on Monday after the settlement.”
“Have you spoken with Brad?” Corey demanded.
“No,” I said reluctantly. “And I don’t think I will.”
“You didn’t give him a hard time, did you?” Corey wondered.
I opened my mouth to deny it but couldn’t. “Actually, yes. I did give him a hard time.”
“Teddy!” Corey complained. The single word carried with it a lifetime of experiences. He knew exactly how far into my own headspace I could crawl and what the fallout would be for those around me.
I wanted to counter his contention with an argument of my own, but he was right. I’d made a mess of things, and I wasn’t sure if I could clean it all up. I said goodnight and hung up the phone. The rest of the movie was of no interest to me, so I went for a walk again.
Saturday night I didn’t sleep well. Sunday, I decided to go to church. I wasn’t a religious person, but the idea of being around friendly, happy families was something I didn’t want to pass up. I got in my car and drove around until I located an Episcopal church. The building was small and unimposing from the outside. But inside, it was all plush carpeting and polished wood.
I sat in the back and listened to the preacher’s sermon. Applying everything he said to my own life, I could see that my problems weren’t that bad. No matter what happened on Monday, I was going to be all right. I might even grow from the experience.
I slipped out before anyone had a chance to greet me. One woman at a table out front thrust a flyer into my hand. It was an advertisement for their Bible study group. I thanked her politely and hurried back to my car. Folding the flyer into my glove box, I had to smile. Nowhere else on Earth could you just show up once and be invited back as if you were an old friend.
After church, I decided to do some painting. It had been a while since I’d done anything creative. Drama stifled my muse and caused me to forget about the one thing that really brought me joy.
Instead of painting Brad, I decided to work on a magazine photo of a sports figure. Too late, I discovered that the broad chest and muscular biceps were just a stand-in for my recently lost boyfriend. As the features took shape, I realized with a sinking heart that I was actually painting Brad in a baseball uniform. I continued painting, finishing the work in record time.
Half of me wanted to throw it out, while the other half wanted to light a few candles and have dinner with it. I opted for a middle ground and set it aside. The court case was upon me, and I needed my beauty sleep.
For some reason, I was able to switch my brain off that night. Everything had been leading up to this moment, and there was nothing left to obsess about. I would go to court, tell Andrew my decision, and let the chips fall where they may. It almost seemed too simple.
That night I dreamed about a happy ending. Brad and I were reunited, and Nikki had found a new job to distract her. We put the whole sordid mess behind us and lived happily ever after in a mansion by the sea.
I woke up feeling rested and ready for the day. Andrew gave me explicit directions on what to wear. It was supposed to be a dress or a skirt, but not pants, preferably blue. I had to put my hair up, and if I wanted to wear makeup, it had to be subtle. I followed all his directions to the letter, choosing a solid blue dress and barely any foundation.
Our case was sometime between 8 a.m. and 3 p.m., so I had to clear the whole day. I walked up to the courthouse at 7:45 and saw a crew of workers stringing Christmas lights. With all the excitement of the lawsuit and my possible breakup with Brad, I had forgotten that the holidays were upon us.
I wondered what things were like in Corey’s household. It was likely that Chloe still believed in Santa Claus, and they had probably already erected their tree. It was yet another example of the innocence of family life that I was missing. I used to love Christmas, and it was a blow to the gut to realize that the festivities had snuck up on me unaware.
I met Andrew in the foyer. There was an expansive room with benches all along the walls. A large hallway led deeper into the building, with metal detectors and police officers stationed at the front.
Andrew caught me before I walked through the security barricade. “Good morning,” he said.
“Good morning,” I replied. “Would you believe that I forgot Christmas was coming?”
“You still have time to shop,” he told me.
I didn’t actually have that many people to shop for. That wasn’t my primary concern. It was more the fact that I had been so buried in my own problems, I had failed to notice that the world was moving ahead.
“Have you made a decision?” he asked, emptying out his pockets into a plastic tray.
I set my purse on the conveyer belt, and we walked through the metal detector. On the other side, I gathered up my things and followed him to the appointed room. On the way, I told him my decision. He took the information in stride, offering me a place to sit down while we waited for the judge to call my name.
I wasn’t allowed to bring my phone, and I hadn’t been smart enough to bring a book to read. Instead, I just stared off into space, anxious to get it over. After about an hour, Andrew offered to get us coffee. I sat there alone, right outside the courtroom, waiting for him to come back.
He returned fifteen minutes later with two paper cups. I tasted the brew, and it wasn’t very good. But at least it was something that might give me an added boost of energy to see myself through the ordeal.
Finally, our case was called. I stood up, tossing the dregs of the coffee into the trashcan. I followed Andrew into the courtroom and was surprised to find Nikki already there. How had she managed to get in without my seeing her? It was a jolt to the system that I wasn’t entirely comfortable with.
I gave her a smile, trying to bury the hatchet. She sneered at me, letting me know that we were enemies, not friends. I straightened my gaze to focus on the judge, moving cautiously to my own place in front of the bar. Andrew sat down beside me and opened his briefcase. The judge banged his gavel, bringing the courtroom to order.
Chapter 25
Brad
IT WAS ABSOLUTE TORTURE not speaking to Teddy for days. I knew the way we’d left things was definitely final, and yet she was such a part of my life, I wanted to pick up the phone at every new development.
My new assistant got the room schedules mixed up and booked two meetings in the same space. I wanted to call Teddy and complain. I discovered a new restaurant on my way home from work. They boasted freshly baked tortillas and imported Mexican beer. I wanted to invite her to accompany me next time so I could show her the culinary wonder I had stumbled upon.
But we’d broken up, and she was no longer my girlfriend. She wasn’t my assistant or even my friend. We weren’t going to talk to each other ever again, and I just had to get used to that. It was hard, and I wasn’t sure I was doing a very good job getting over her.
I dove headfirst into work, piling up project after project to keep myself busy. When I was in the gym, I lit into the punching bag with all my excess energy. When I drank, I went straight for the whiskey instead of bothering with something so romantic as wine.
Every room in my house reminded me of her. I remembered making love in the guest room, in the living room, and on the dining room table. There was that one time we made love in the kitchen, although it was less loving and more fucking that time.
My bedroom especially was a sore spot for me. I closed the door and didn’t go back in for a few days. Camping out in one of the spare rooms upstairs, I needed a space that was free of Teddy’s ghost. Not that I slept very much. When I was home, I planted my ass in the office chair and worked until the early hours of the morning.
I considered selling Retro and did some preliminary research into the prospect. The trouble was that Retro had all these unresolved issues surrounding it. I couldn’t sell until I could right the ship, and that meant addressing all the crap that Nick Pierce had left behind.
I called Andrew Burke on Sunday night to ask if he knew what Teddy was up to. He was surprised to hear from me and told me flat-out that he couldn’t say anything. That little exercise got me no closer to the truth, though Burke promised to pass on the message that I had called.
“Don’t bother,” I said, hanging up the phone.
On Monday morning, I knew that her court case was set to be heard. I didn’t know what time, but a quick check of Burke’s schedule with his secretary told me that he was in court most of the day.
I dressed in my normal business attire, telling myself that I was just going to work. But at the last moment, I diverted toward the courthouse. I didn’t have to be romantically involved with someone to care about how their case was decided. And the courtrooms were open for visitors, which meant I was welcome to view the proceedings along with anyone else.
The parking structure was massive and dark. I drove up three floors before finding a spot, then had to take the elevator down to the ground floor to gain access to the courthouse. I left my phone in the car, knowing that it would be confiscated if I tried to go through security. For whatever reason, they didn’t want visitors to be able to take photos or contact people while inside.
I was walking from the parking garage to the front door when I noticed a group of workers stringing lights. It seemed rather early, considering that it wasn’t yet Thanksgiving, but who was I to complain? The holiday season should have been the most wonderful time of the year, but for me, it all felt hollow. I was going to have to bear a month and a half of cheerful people when my life was on a fast track to nowhere. I wasn’t looking forward to it.
I had almost reached the doors when a man dressed in a business suit stepped out in front of me. I didn’t recognize him at first. The thin light of dawn obscured his features, making him seem ominous. I had a gut reaction to his presence and wondered if he was going to serve me with another injunction.
“Brad?” the man said.
I focused in on his face and discovered, to my horror, it was much worse than I had thought. This was no stranger come to serve me with papers. It was Nick Pierce, the man I’d spent the past week tracking down.
I pulled up short, unable to keep the disgust from my face. He looked different than the last time I’d seen him. The affable family man was gone, and in his place was a devious crook. I had to hand it to him, the sale of Retro had gone off without a hitch. He had me fooled with his falsified financial documents and his promises to make things right for the employees.
The cherry on top was his daughter, Alyssa. Had there ever been anything real between us? Was this man such a monster that he deliberately put his own child in my path to try to seduce me into accepting the deal? I wouldn’t put it past him.
“Nick,” I said.
“I knew I would find you here,” Nick said, a cruel smile tugging at his lips.
“Here I am,” I agreed. I wasn’t interested in engaging with him and couldn’t care less why he’d decided to approach me. “If you’ll excuse me, I don’t want to miss the proceedings.”
“I need to talk to you.” He thrust himself between me and the entrance, blocking my path. “I guarantee you’ll want to hear what I have to say.”
I stood back. There was no advantage to getting into a fight outside the courthouse. There were plenty of witnesses working on the Christmas lights, and at least one police cruiser parked out front.
“Go ahead,” I said impatiently.
“If you drop your crusade against me, I’ll make sure Nikki drops her court case against you,” Nick said, grinning as if he had just solved life’s greatest puzzle.
I blinked. I had no idea how or why he thought he had such sway with Nikki. Were they in cahoots? Had Teddy and I been blind to the truth all along? Maybe this wasn’t really about Teddy, but some way to get back at me for daring to make waves after the sale had gone through. If so, then Nick’s deal was something to look at very carefully before dismissing it.
“Blackmail?” I guessed.
He shrugged. “Call it what you want. I call it scratching each other’s backs.”
“I have no interest in scratching your back,” I snapped.
“Drop your investigation,” Nick growled. “And I’ll make sure you live to fight another day.”
I turned away from him, back toward the parking garage. There was no way to make such an important decision on the fly. I needed time to consider all the ramifications. Nick had positioned himself between me and the door, so that avenue of escape was blocked off. I didn’t want to lay a hand on him, afraid that he might use my frustration against me.
