Killing Me Softly, page 3
She turned, her eyes running over the three-storey house, the windows shining beacons against the old blue-grey square-cut stone, welcoming her back. She always imagined the old lord of the manor standing there, surveying all he owned – Mr Rochester or Heathcliff, someone dark and brooding to go with the house and its surrounds – before he walked through his home and out into the old walled garden at the right of the house.
That garden had whispered to Lexi of history and family and hope when she’d first visited here, and it whispered to her now.
Home. She was home.
Breathing in the clean air, she gloried in her surrounds and then turned back to Billy. ‘It’s so good to finally be here.’
‘I know. You deserve to enjoy it.’
Lexi noticed the tension in his shoulders. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing,’ he said, linking his arm through hers and guiding her to the front door.
‘Billy?’
He stopped and crossed his arms over his chest. ‘You first.’
She shook her head. ‘Nuh-uh. I’m just tired.’
He arrowed her a ‘don’t bullshit me’ look.
‘It’s nothing. It’s been a long drive and Cat is hardly good company.’ She wasn’t going to tell him how she’d cried after taking Cat into Wendy’s. She thought she’d been prepared for the reality of moving her sister around in public. But it had been difficult. People stared. Then there was the trip to the toilet. Trying to negotiate two adults in a narrow toilet cubicle was anything but fun and Cat had ended up wetting herself. The bitterness of failure was still wedged in her throat.
Billy must have read the look on her face because he put his hand on her shoulder, squeezed. ‘I should have gone with you.’
‘No. You had things to do. I’m fine. Just a bit worn out.’ Her foot touched the first step before she remembered what had started the conversation. ‘Hang on a moment, you sneaky bugger. We were supposed to be talking about what’s got your knickers in a knot.’ She rounded on him, poking him in the chest. ‘Spill.’
‘Ow! That hurt. Christ, Lexi, you’ve got fingers of steel.’ Billy rubbed his chest.
‘It’ll hurt even more if you don’t tell me what’s up.’ She stood on the step above him, enabling her to glare at him eye to eye, finger poised to poke him again.
Billy backed away towards the car. ‘Okay. But let’s wait until after you’ve had some tea. You go in and I’ll put the car in the garage.’
She narrowed her eyes. ‘I won’t forget about it.’
He laughed. ‘I know, I know. You’ve got a memory like an elephant. Now go, before I have to carry you in.’
‘You’re not convincing as a pushy male, Billy. I know you too well, you big softy.’
Billy snorted and hopped into the Rover, leaning out the window as the engine sprang to life. ‘Go inside and warm up. And tell Cat not to eat my share of the scones.’ He took off with a scatter of dust and pebbles before she could respond.
Lexi smiled after him as he spun the tyres in the gravel drive. Typical man! But she loved him dearly.
The perfume from the flowers hit her as soon as she entered the foyer. Bouquets of roses and wildflowers were on every surface and garlands hung on the walls and wound around the banisters of the double staircase. A banner strung over the staircase welcomed them home. Her eyes prickled and she blinked back the happy tears.
As she walked up the stairs and turned left to go down the hall to her bedroom – once the master suite – she found more flowers. She stopped to smell them, touching the soft petals and drinking in the visual and sensual luxury. Bev and Billy must have worked for hours to create this surprise. She peered into her room. Flowers adorned every surface: on the table beside the window seat, on her bedside table and dresser and a huge bower spilling over the antique trunk at the base of her bed. The love in the gesture washed over her and feeling suddenly free, she spun around until she was dizzy, and fell on the bed, laughing.
‘I’m glad you like them.’
Lexi jumped, hand to her chest. ‘God, I didn’t hear you.’
Bev stood in the doorway with Cat beside her. ‘Sorry for startling you, love. I was just taking Catriona back down to the kitchen for afternoon tea and I heard you in here.’ She looked around the room. ‘Beautiful, aren’t they? Billy worked all morning to decorate the house for you both.’
‘I can’t believe he did that. It’s one of the most wonderful things anybody’s ever done for me.’ Lexi bent over a vase of roses, breathing in the sweet perfume. ‘I think you had a hand in it, though. Thank you.’
Bev waved her hand. ‘Billy came up with the idea and picked them. I just helped with the arranging. The early spring roses are my favourites, but most of them came from the greenhouse.’ She turned back to Cat who stood looking blindly at the far window. The curtains fluttered in the gentle breeze. ‘Come on then. Let’s go have a nice cup of tea.’
Bev handled Cat with the warm efficiency gained through her years of nursing, and as Lexi followed her downstairs, she once again marvelled at her luck in finding the Smarts and employing them to work on the estate. They’d helped to bring it to life once again.
After settling Cat at the old wooden kitchen table, Bev put the kettle on and started to place scones on a plate with a bowl of jam and a jug of clotted cream.
‘Before I forget, Karl collected the mail earlier. It’s in the study. The envelope was bulging. He said he’s glad he’s not you.’
Lexi laughed. ‘Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me either.’
‘Why don’t you have your manager handle your mail?’
Lexi shrugged. ‘I send her the stuff I don’t want to deal with and I take care of everything else.’ She screwed up her face. ‘I think there’s a large part of me that’s a control freak. I can’t seem to act “Lord of the Manor” and have everyone else do everything for me.’
Bev chuckled. ‘Well, love, I think you might be very wise. Only you can know what’s truly important to you. Now eat up before the others come in and demolish those scones before you can blink.’
Lexi laughed and bit into a scone layered with jam and cream. ‘Mm, wonderful,’ she managed, just as the back door opened and Billy walked in.
‘Scones! My favourite.’ He made a grab for the plate but Lexi whipped it out of reach, laughing.
‘No you don’t. These are mine.’ He lunged for them but she moved the plate further out of his reach then gasped as the plate was taken out of her hand.
All of them stopped, the laughter forgotten as they stared at Cat. She lowered the plate to the table, took a scone and bit into it.
‘Cat?’ Lexi breathed. ‘Cat, can you hear me?’ Her sister stared blankly ahead, chewing steadily.
Bev, hand to her chest, sighed, ‘Oh, my. I guess she likes my scones.’
Lexi choked on a laugh and looked over at Billy. He was gazing at Cat with a longing that pierced Lexi to the core. She took his hand, squeezed. ‘That’s the third time today she’s reacted to something. It has to be a good sign.’
He let go of her hand and she could see he was trying to be the professional physical therapist, not an excited friend. ‘It is. But you know what the research says. We can’t push. She has to come to us.’
Lexi nodded, frustrated, but knew he was right.
Bev let out a fast breath. ‘Let’s just be as normal as possible then, shall we? How about some more tea?’
‘I’d love some,’ Karl said as he walked in the door.
‘Not until you’ve taken those boots off you won’t,’ Bev scolded.
‘Right you are, my love,’ he smiled as he walked back outside.
Lexi couldn’t help but watch him as he came back in, removed his hat, rubbed his hand on his overalls and stepped over to Cat.
‘This is Catriona then? he asked in his gentle northern accent. Taking her hand, he patted the back of it. ‘I’m pleased to meet you, young miss.’ He gestured to the scone in her hand. ‘I see you’re enjoying my Bev’s scones. They’re the best scones in the county and don’t you let anyone tell you otherwise. In fact, they’re so good I might have to have me one even though it might spoil m’dinner.’ He sat down, took a scone, daubing half with a big wedge of butter, and took a swig of the tea Bev placed in front of him.
Lexi stood, touched his shoulder, lips trembling in a grateful smile. He simply nodded. She took a deep breath. ‘I think I’ll just go and see to the mail.’ She looked meaningfully at Billy. ‘I’ll be in the study, so when you’ve settled Cat, come and tell me what’s bugging you.’
‘We can talk tomorrow.’
‘No. You’ve piqued my curiosity.’
‘All right, you pushy cow,’ Billy grumbled, a smile twitching his lips. ‘Give me half an hour with Cat then I’ll be right with you.’
‘Sounds good.’ She looked piercingly at him for a moment but his raised brow gave nothing away. Sighing, she turned a tired smile on Bev. ‘Thanks for the afternoon tea, Bev. It was wonderful.’
‘My pleasure, love. Just don’t work too hard now. You’re supposed to have some time off.’
Lexi’s smile warmed. ‘I know, but I prefer to stay busy. It keeps me out of trouble.’
She headed off to the study with Billy’s snort of laughter loud in her ears. He knew why she liked to keep busy and it had nothing to do with keeping out of trouble. Her dad had always said she had ants in her pants – she could never stay still for long. And that was true to this day.
The study was a warm and cosy room lined with bookshelves and full of old, comfortable furniture. A big antique country-style desk that had once belonged to her dad sat in front of the window with her laptop, a phone and some stationery. Family photos were arranged on the filing cabinet in the corner; photos of Christmases and birthdays and holidays with their mum and dad the year before everything went to hell.
We look so happy.
Shrugging off the feeling of sadness that threatened to weigh her down, Lexi sat at the desk in the large, comfortable, dark green leather chair. She picked up the envelope and tore it open.
Mail came pouring out. Bev hadn’t been wrong; there was a pile of it. First she worked through the bills, figuring out what had to be paid and stacking them on the corner of her blotter in order of what had to be dealt with first. The business mail was next and she entered dates in her laptop, emailing Emma, her manager, asking her to deal with certain issues. Then she picked up the personal mail.
There was a postcard from one of the assistants she used in the city studio. He was travelling with Temptation’s Fool on their latest tour, mixing for their gigs. He sounded like he was having a great time. There was a letter from Deliverance thanking her for her work and telling her they were going to take her out to celebrate some time soon. She smiled. She liked those guys a lot. There was an invitation to a wedding – she would have to decline – and a pamphlet from a day spa telling her of some exciting new treatment. She tossed it in the bin. Then she noticed the letter that had fallen on the floor beside her desk.
The moment her fingers turned it over, her heart began to pound.
Oh God! Not again. Not here.
There was nothing sinister on the outside of the envelope – plain white, the address of her manager printed neatly, the stamp positioned just so – but she knew what she’d find inside. With trembling fingers, she tore it open and unfolded the single piece of paper.
Words of hate and anger far beyond any reasoning sprang from the page.
Bile rushed up her throat, making her choke on the bitter taste as she forced herself to read what was written, to try and figure out why. Why did someone hate her so much?
But whoever sent these letters never left any clue as to why. She’d received them on and off for a couple of years and, after the first few, had taken them straight to the police. She knew she should have told her manager to vet them, but for some reason, she just couldn’t tell anyone but the police about this. The fact someone hated her like that was too awful to contemplate. She really couldn’t stand for anyone else to know.
She hadn’t received one for over six months – had thought the writer had given up.
Here was proof that he hadn’t.
Unfortunately, while the police kept them on file, there was no evidence of who was sending them – the postmarks were always different and there were no fingerprints. No physical threat had ever been made. There was nothing they could do. She’d always told herself they were just letters sent by some jealous person in the industry. It was another reason why she kept out of the public eye. Why she was glad she’d decided long ago to use a pseudonym to escape media scrutiny. Why she still continued to never give anyone but those she trusted her personal address.
This letter was no different from the others. Written with red ink dark as blood, the letters were jagged and spiky, the language foul. She wanted to tear it into pieces and throw it into the bin with the rest of the rubbish, but knew she couldn’t.
Detective Fox would want to add it to his file.
Putting it into her scanner, she copied it and emailed him the file, then placed the original into a manila folder with the date on it and shoved the whole thing in the bottom desk drawer to send to Detective Fox later.
Taking a deep breath, she sat back in her chair. She really didn’t need the stress of this right now.
Frowning, she dropped her head into her hands. God! She wished she had some project to centre her thoughts and energy on. Something to take her mind off this and the guilt she felt every time she looked at Cat’s blank expression and scarred face. Why on earth had she thought it such a great idea to clear the books for six months?
Well, she couldn’t stop the stalker from sending his disgusting letters, but having Cat here was her choice. Something she wanted. She just had to find some better way of dealing with her sister’s presence and the emotions roiling through her.
She huffed out a laugh. Like that was going to be easy! A familiar stress headache began to pound behind her eyes. She rubbed her temple where the pain seemed to be concentrated.
‘What’s wrong?’
Lexi jumped and looked up to see Billy standing in the doorway.
‘Headache?’
She shook her head. ‘No, I’m okay. I think I just need a good night’s sleep.’
‘Why don’t you go have a rest before dinner? I’ll come and get you when it’s ready.’
Her eyes narrowed. ‘You don’t get out of it that easily. What’s up?’
‘Can’t blame a man for trying,’ he mumbled.
She looked at him expectantly. Instead of sitting, Billy headed over to the drinks cabinet, pouring himself a single malt scotch. ‘Do you want a drink?’
‘That bad?’ she said in mock horror, then looked at her watch. ‘I’ll have a gin and tonic.’
After handing her the drink, he slumped down into the chair opposite hers, taking a sip of his scotch. ‘This is quite a nice drop.’
‘Billy.’ She tapped her finger against the side of her glass. ‘You’re really worrying me.’
Billy sighed. ‘It’s nothing to worry about. Not really. It’s just that . . . ’ he sighed again. ‘Craig called the other night after the awards – congrats by the way. You and your bands apparently scored quite a few.’
Lexi put the glass back on the desk, not caring for the time being about the awards. She knew what was coming. A little flutter of excitement started low in her belly. If this was what she thought, it couldn’t be better timing. She sat forward. ‘They want to work with me?’
Billy nodded. ‘Apparently Dae has been trying to contact you for quite some time. Craig says he was practically frothing at the mouth during the awards telecast. That was when my idiot of a brother mentioned he knew you.’
‘That doesn’t sound like Craig.’
‘Ha! You credit him with a brain.’ He took a swig of his drink. ‘Anyway, I’m not sure how, but I ended up promising I’d ask you to meet with Dae. I told him about you bringing Cat home. Craig was apologetic but pleaded with me to ask you anyway.’ Billy stopped and sighed. ‘I’m sorry, Lexi. I’ll tell him you can’t meet them.’ He stood up as he spoke, placing the glass on the desk with a hollow thud.
Lexi leaned forward, put her hand on top of his. ‘Billy. I’ll meet with him.’
He went still. ‘You don’t have to.’
‘Yes I do. I owe you and your family.’
Billy shook his head. ‘You are part of our family. Mum and Dad would be the first to agree, as would Craig. You don’t owe us anything.’
‘Maybe not, but my understanding of family is that you do things for each other even if you don’t want to.’
Billy pushed the chair back and began to pace. ‘Goddamn Craig for doing this! He bloody well knew you would do it out of guilt.’
‘I don’t feel guilty.’ She watched him pace. ‘Billy, please sit down. You’re making me dizzy.’
‘I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to do.’
She shook her head slowly. ‘Actually, I think I do want to do it. I’ve been so preoccupied with bringing Cat home, but now she’s here, I’m beginning to see I need something else to concentrate on. I thought I’d have more to do to keep me busy, but with you taking care of her therapy, and Bev and Karl running the farm, I’m worried I won’t have anything to do and the thought is driving me crazy. I can organise my schedule so I can still spend plenty of time with Cat. In fact, I think I’ll be better able to stay positive with her if I have something creative to do. Do you know what I mean?’
Billy’s mouth quirked up at the corner. ‘Yeah, I know. You never could sit still.’
She shook her head. ‘It’s not just that. It’s . . . So much of my life has been about getting to this moment. But now Cat’s here . . . If I don’t do something else, I know she’ll come to rule my life and I’ll never put the past behind me. I’ve struggled for too long to break away from all that. I need to keep something for me as well.’
