Killing Me Softly, page 16
‘No-one ever deserves bad things to happen to them.’ As Lexi said the words, she shuddered.
Bev patted her hand. ‘This must be bringing back terrible memories and here you are, comforting me. You’re very brave.’
Lexi’s smile was full of self-derision. ‘I’m not brave, I’m just lucky. What I meant though was that terrible things happen; there is no reasoning them out of this world. They are a part of it whether we want them to be or not. We just have to get on with things even as we continue to grieve for the loss of what we once had.’
As she spoke, Lexi realised the truth of what she was saying and knew she needed to follow her own advice. She’d let Lyndon James affect her life in ways she hadn’t imagined. She needed to stop being afraid of what might be just because of what had been. Now was the time to live her life, not hide in the shadows of it.
Bev’s smile warmed as she took in Lexi’s words. ‘You’re not just brave, you’re wise. That’s a very important lesson to learn.’
Lexi shrugged off the compliment. ‘I think I just realised what it really means.’ She wished realising it would be enough. But it seemed such a huge thing to open herself up to letting other people in – especially a man. The feelings she already had for Daemon were frightening in their intensity. One part of her wanted to leap up and go and find him and tell him she would become his lover. But the other part – the stronger part – was so very frightened by the thought.
What if he hurt her? What if she fell in love with him? She knew he’d leave eventually – he would have to because of who he was. His home base had been in the States for the past eight years. Sure, he had a house in London, and a few others scattered across the world, but they weren’t homes. Besides, he wasn’t the kind of man who could be tied down. Who was she to ask him to change that and come and live here? She couldn’t bear to lose someone she cared about again. It just didn’t seem worth taking the chance.
She sighed. It was pointless thinking about it now. Bev needed her. Any decision she might make would keep. Daemon wasn’t going anywhere, for now.
Bev looked at her. ‘If you’ve got something to do dear, I’ll be okay. I might just go and give the women’s auxiliary a call. Stan’s going to need so much help. Jenny took care of everything for him. And I need to go over and see him. It’ll be good to keep busy.’
‘Constable Creeson asked that we stay here.’
Bev’s smile wavered. ‘That poor lad. He used to play with Jenny when they were young. He’ll be taking this hard.’ She sniffed, dabbed at her nose with her hanky. ‘I’ll give him a call. He won’t mind if I go over to Stan’s. As long as he knows where I am.’
Lexi nodded. ‘I’ll come with you.’
‘Are you sure? I don’t want to put you out.’
‘I’ll drive you,’ Daemon said, walking into the kitchen.
Lexi jumped. How long had he been standing there? How much of their conversation had he heard?
‘You don’t have to do that, Daemon love.’
‘I know,’ he said, stepping into the room. ‘But I’d like to.’
‘I don’t want to be taking you away from your work.’
He smiled and patted her shoulder. ‘You’re not. We have today off anyway. I had something to do this morning but it was cancelled.’ He shot Lexi a look of understanding. Lexi sighed in relief and his smile widened at her expression. ‘So I’m all yours for today.’
Bev rallied, wiping the tears from her cheeks. ‘Let me finish my tea, and help me eat some of these scones. Alexia dear, could you pour Daemon a cup?’
‘Sure.’ She looked at him. ‘White and one?’
He smiled. ‘That’s right.’
She blushed at his look and turning away, busied herself re-boiling the water and getting a cup out and the pot ready.
‘When we’ve finished here, I’ve got a few calls to make. And I’ll call Constable Creeson and let him know where we’re going to be. Then you could drive us over to the Harrisons’. If you’re sure.’
‘There’s nothing more I’d like to do than to spend today with two lovely ladies.’
Bev’s smile warmed as she dabbed at her eyes. ‘He’s a flatterer, this one.’
Lexi nodded. ‘I know. I’ve seen him in action.’ Realising how that sounded she blushed. ‘I mean I saw him with his fans last night. He charmed the pants off them without even trying.’
‘There was only one person there last night I was interested in charming,’ Daemon said, giving Bev a wink.
Bev chuckled and took a sip of her tea. ‘Who would that be?’
He flashed her a smile. ‘You of course!’
Bev laughed. ‘You know how to make an old girl feel better.’
Lexi put his cup down in front of him. ‘Here you are.’ He touched her hand before she could draw away. Her gaze flew up to his then away. She wondered if his whole body came alive at the touch just as hers did. ‘I think I’ll just run upstairs and finish getting ready.’ She turned to Bev. ‘Let me know when you’re ready to go.’
Alexia dashed off before Daemon could stop her. He turned back to Bev who was looking at him carefully.
‘She’s a lovely caring girl, that one.’ She sipped her tea, her eyes meeting his. ‘You’d better be careful. Don’t pursue her unless you mean it to be more than casual. She’s still so fragile. Too fragile to deal with an affair.’
Daemon’s brows rose but he didn’t deny her implication. Instead, he nodded. ‘I know. I promise I’ll be careful.’
‘I’m sure you will.’
Daemon could hear the unspoken warning in her words and wasn’t surprised Alexia had gained that kind of caring and loyalty from the people around her.
Bev finished off her tea and sighed. ‘It’s time I got a move on. Can you give me twenty minutes to get ready before we go?’
Daemon swallowed down the last of his tea. ‘I’ll go and tell Alexia and then fetch the car. We’ll meet you around the front.’
He stood up. Bev put her hand on his arm. ‘Thank you, Daemon. You don’t know what a comfort it has been to have you here this morning.’
Daemon smiled then bent and kissed her soft cheek. ‘You’re quite wonderful, you know that?’
Bev blushed and pushed him toward the door. ‘Oh, get away with you.’
Laughing, Daemon headed upstairs. He wasn’t certain which room was Alexia’s but he headed towards the only one that had noise coming from it. Reaching the door he knocked gently.
‘Come in.’
He stepped in and caught a glimpse of bare back as Alexia pulled a top over her head.
‘I won’t be a minute, Bev.’
‘It’s not Bev.’
She swung around, pulling the top down quickly but not before he saw the pretty ice-green lace bra she wore. Her face was flushed and her hair was mussed. He had never seen her looking so lovely.
Hiding her embarrassment, she pulled at the top and turned back to her dresser. ‘Where’s Bev?’
‘She’s making some calls. I thought we could take a moment to talk.’
Her hands fumbled with the chain she was trying to fasten around her neck.
‘Here, let me.’ He was at her side before she could stop him, turning her around. Her neck was warm against his cool fingers. She shivered but didn’t move away.
Encouraged, he let his fingers linger after doing up the clasp, running along the creamy warmth of her skin and playing with the silky curls that kissed the collar of her top. He heard her breath shudder out and he was thankful for the cool breeze coming in the window, caressing his suddenly hot, tight skin. He could see the pulse beat under the skin of her neck as he edged closer.
Still, she didn’t move away. Smiling, he brushed his fingers down the side of her throat, over her collarbone and down her arms. He took her hands and gently turned her around.
‘Alexia.’ His voice was a whispered breath, her name a prayer on his lips.
‘Daemon?’ She looked up into his face and could see the longing in her eyes.
‘I heard what you said before. Have you changed your mind? Are you willing to explore this thing between us? To give it a chance?’
She swallowed hard. He could see her fighting the instinct to deny it; the same instinct that had protected her against the world all these years. He could understand that instinct – he had to fight his own all the time – but he hoped like hell she wouldn’t give in to it now as she had every other time he’d touched her. The only problem was that bastard Lyndon had taken so much from her. Daemon was afraid she wouldn’t be able to get past it. Her sister hadn’t been able to. She’d locked herself away from life. He wanted to shake Alexia; to tell her not to do the same thing. She deserved so much more. She couldn’t let that bastard win.
He didn’t say any of that, though. Just kept his gaze on hers, willing her to trust, to give in to her feelings just this once.
Finally, when he thought he couldn’t stand the tension any longer, she slid shaking hands up and around his neck. ‘I’m not sure. I meant what I said last night. There’s no future for us.’
He couldn’t understand why that hurt so much, but instead of letting his anger flare again because of his hurt, he focused on her actions rather than her words. Her arms were wound around his neck, her body flush against his, her fingers twined in his hair. ‘I’m not asking for forever.’ He kissed her lightly; a brush of lips against lips. ‘Can you just concentrate on the present?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe . . . ’ She looked away. ‘I can’t think about this right now. Can you give me some time?’
‘Of course. I understand.’
‘You do?’
Looking down into her eyes, the confusion, the need to trust so clear there, he wished he could come clean about just how much he understood of her reticence. But he couldn’t. Now just wasn’t the time. But he could admit to what Craig had let slip. ‘Craig told me a little bit about what happened to Cat. Nothing specific,’ he said as anger flared in her eyes, ‘just that she was raped. I can’t pretend to know what you went through then, or in the years since, but I do know that after what Darla did to me, I need to protect myself, too.’
She smiled, her relief obvious. ‘Of course you do. Good.’ She blanched. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean that to sound as if I was glad you were hurt by her, it’s just that it means you understand. And I’m glad.’
‘So am I.’
Her smile widened, the desire glowing in her eyes as her gaze met his. He knew he should let her go, but he couldn’t when she was looking up at him like that. Despite the fact she’d asked him for time, he kissed her again, his lips lingering until they were both panting. Then he pulled away. It took every ounce of self-control he had to do it, and the look of dazed desire in her eyes almost made him lose that control, but he didn’t. He knew, even though she’d agreed to think about it, he still had to be careful not to push too hard or confuse her in any way.
Gritting his teeth, he made himself let go of her, wondering, as he took a step back, whether he could be canonised as a saint for being so good. Probably not.
Sighing, he clenched his hands to his sides to stop himself reaching for her. The caress of her hand on his shoulder, his neck, the sensation as her fingers had twisted in his hair, lingered as if he’d been branded by her touch. No-one had touched him in quite that way before. He didn’t know why it felt so different with her, but it did. And it made it even harder to step away – he wasn’t a man used to denying himself the things he wanted. But he’d promised to give her time. And that he would do.
He had to grit his teeth and shove his hands into the back pockets of his jeans to stop himself from returning her touch.
Perhaps he already was a saint.
Taking a deep breath he steadied himself. ‘Come on. We need to get Bev over to the Harrisons.’
She touched his cheek. ‘You’re a good man. You should let people see that.’
He smiled, a wicked gleam in his eye. ‘What? And ruin my reputation as an alcohol-guzzling, egotistical ladies’ man?’
She chuckled. ‘You’re right. Why would you want to give that up?’
He laughed, gesturing to the door, and followed her out to the car. Thunder rumbled in the distance, the sky on the horizon promising another spectacular storm. He could smell the buzz of it in the air, enlivening the homely scents of the farm. They were scents that spoke to him, as did the rugged violence of the broken hills and the dark tangle of the wild woods surrounding the estate. ‘I love this place. It’s full of light and shadow. I wish I was a photographer and could capture what I see. I understand why you wouldn’t want to leave it.’
She didn’t answer him as they stopped at the car, instead looking up at him with a baffled expression on her face. ‘Then you have to know that’s one of the reasons we can’t be together. I can’t leave here. I don’t want to. And you can’t stay.’
Looking deeply into her eyes, he said, ‘I know, but I learned long ago that the future doesn’t matter when the present is all you’ve got. Give us a chance, even if it’s just for now.’
He touched her arm, squeezing for a second, then turned and hopped into the car. She stood staring after him for a long moment, breath caught in her throat as his words trembled through her, shaking the already unsteady ground she stood on.
Chapter 16
Thunder rolled across the hills in the distance, the sky black on the horizon even though it was still blue over his head. Damned unpredictable weather. He would have to move to shelter soon, but for now he pulled his black coat around him and watched them from the shadows near the walled garden, his hands clenched.
Anger suffused his every sinew as he saw her touch the Irish bastard’s arm. He saw the way the Irish bastard’s eyes raked over her, possessive, possessing.
Didn’t he realise he was flying in the face of God, tempting God’s soldier to strike him down for his blasphemy? Thou shalt not covet another man’s wife! So it was written and so it must be. The Irish bastard had not learned his First Testament.
He chuckled. The Irish bastard would have to be taught.
And I am just the one to teach him.
Chapter 17
They spent a couple of hours at the Harrisons, comforting Stan and Kevin, helping with funeral arrangements and taking incoming calls.
Constable Creeson called. The DIs were on their way to StormHaven Manor to question everyone. They had conducted a number of interviews but so far they had nothing to report. There had been a few visitors at the dance but nearly every one of them was known by a local resident. The police worked on the assumption that the murderer was someone passing through.
The overriding question was: why would Jenny head out into the dense wood behind the Church Hall with a stranger?
No-one wanted to think about the other possibility – that she had been murdered by someone she knew.
Jenny had been tending the bar until the second set. She had danced with a few people. When The Sidhe had played, everyone was too focused on the band to remember where Jenny had been. The police surmised that the assault and murder occurred after The Sidhe had taken the stage – which meant those who were onstage weren’t suspects, but the DIs still wanted to speak to them in case they’d seen something.
Lexi shuddered to think that while she had been having so much fun, Jenny was being raped and murdered.
She looked out the windscreen of Daemon’s car. The world had been washed clean by the recent storm, wind ruffling the tufts of grass, sending droplets of water to splash on the glass from the twisted trees hanging over the road. It seemed so strange that she could find such peace in the beauty of the day when something so awful had happened. It seemed even stranger that she should be so aware of Daemon when her mind was so full of other things.
She couldn’t help glancing at him as he drove, her gaze roaming over his strong profile. Just looking at him made her feel things she had never felt before. She’d watched him at the Harrisons, how he handled himself and other people. Despite the fact he was famous, he had gone out of his way to make everyone treat him just as they would anyone else so the attention was on the Harrisons in their time of grief and need. He’d even taken Kevin aside and spoken to him like the young man he was, not talking down to him as other men did. She’d seen Kevin smile as he’d shown Daemon his guitar and they’d spoken about music.
Was this the same man she had thought of as arrogant and egotistical? This man had been well hidden by the public persona. She didn’t really know him; but, oh, did she want to! After today, she felt herself trusting him just that little bit more. If he kept this up she knew she was a breath away from falling deeply in love with him.
No. That was impossible. It’s just that he wasn’t what she had expected.
Was that a bad thing?
She couldn’t figure out why that question was so hard to answer. Rather than try to answer it, she turned back to stare at the road ahead just as they turned into the drive leading through the park towards the manor.
Daemon drove past the manor and up the drive to the vine-covered cottage. He stopped in front of the gate and turned to Bev. ‘Here we go.’
Bev leaned forward. ‘Thank you, Daemon.’ She turned to Lexi. ‘I’ll be up in a little while to start dinner.’
‘No. You rest. I’ll take care of it.’
‘Are you sure, dear? I know you’re tired, too.’
Lexi shook her head. ‘I’m glad to have something to keep me busy.’
‘Right you are, then. And thank you.’ Bev kissed first her and then Daemon’s cheeks and hopped out of the car. They watched Bev until she’d walked inside and then Daemon started the car up again, turned around and drove back to the manor.
They pulled up. Daemon turned off the ignition and turned to Lexi. She knew she should say something, excuse herself, but once again, with his gaze on her, she couldn’t move.
His hand lifted, brushing her neck, fingers gently playing with the soft curls of her hair. Her breath stuttered in her throat, and a warmth she’d only experienced with him rushed through her. She didn’t want to let that feeling go. Not with the day so full of sadness and death. She wanted to embrace the warmth and let it remind her she was alive.
