Zenith's Legend (The Zenith Series Book 6), page 9
Lost in her thoughts, she was startled when Xavier’s foot nudged her leg. She lifted her head from her knees. She had her phone out and was trying to focus on the novel she had to read for Lit class. She also had to plan her discussion notes for it.
“Whatever you’ve been mulling over, it can’t be found in that book. You haven’t touched the screen in hours and now it’s gone black.”
She blinked as she glanced down. Sure enough, the screen was black. “Oh.”
“What were you dreaming about?”
She set her phone to the side and tugged her knees tightly to her chest, wrapping her arms around her calves and rocking back on her butt. She never felt particularly brave in her entire life. Despite her experience with some rather interesting things, like trips to fancy resorts and islands over the years, while traveling with Rob and her family to different continents, she always felt safe. She witnessed the sweeping crowds, all screaming and hysterical, and got lost in their excitement and overwhelmed by the sheer force of it all. In her teens, she grew even more inured until it became normal. She missed being home, and wished her life were more average than doing all of those other things. Rob toured less as they and he got older and his success became solidified. He hadn’t toured for five or more years. Living a glamorous lifestyle faded into the past. Here. Right here. This exact place. Her room was where her heart was.
Karlee was watched over and guarded all of her life. She resisted empty friendships from almost everyone her own age because she feared the damage her lifestyle could bring. She trusted her sisters and cousins. Cousin Jody was her only connection to a normal world of her peers until now. Until Xavier.
Her eyelids fluttered as she squeezed her legs tighter. “Karlee?” His tone was quizzical, but not suspicious.
In many ways, Zenith’s fame had made her a bird in a gilded cage. She had no burning desire to fly free from it. She never discussed leaving. A deep apathy seemed to exist in her that compelled her to accept things just as they were. The default line that ran deep in her soul. Was it laziness? She didn’t bother to fight over any of the restrictions in her life. She didn’t really care. The security was fine. Just another part of daily routine. No friends her age that she trusted? Eh. Also fine. She made do with her sisters and cousin. She never really cared to find another one. Her curiosity about sex? Meh. She chose a partner she barely said two words to because he was nonthreatening. Again, nothing. Not bad. Not good. Just another experience. Fine.
Was she ever brave about anything she did or experienced? Her freaking parents gave her everything. She was born into success. She never had to work for anything. She never had to give up something to get something else. What did she ever strive to achieve? Nothing.
She wasn’t unhappy or depressed and her family filled her with deep loyalty, love and strong feelings inside her that were real. But when it came to others? There was no one. Nothing.
Until Xavier showed up.
She could fall back to her penchant for sarcasm. At least he got it. That was refreshing. She could unleash her sharp tongue in ways she only allowed herself to do with Rob. He got it too. With her mom and her sisters, she invariably toned it down.
But that wasn’t being very honest. She didn’t often like being honest. Not when it made her vulnerable or fragile. Like this was about to make her feel.
Licking her lips, her stomach knotting, she said simply, “I was thinking about you.”
“Me?” Xavier was startled as he sat up a few inches straighter. “All that time you were thinking what about me exactly?”
“How hard it was for you to survive, while I had both a loving family and material comforts. All I’ve ever done is pass the time. And you never even had the time to sing if you’d wanted to.”
He leaned back and slouched against her bed. “Oh. You’re still on that.” His mouth had a little smile. “I wouldn’t stress about it so hard. And if I were you, I’d have been sitting right here enjoying my life too. There’s nothing wrong with that. Crap. You could have turned out all screwed up and really filled the cliché. I’d be pretty proud that you’re not.”
“No. I’m definitely not. Neither are my sisters.”
“That says a lot, huh? Considering what might have happened.”
“Yeah. True. Instead of being the worldliest person you ever met, my entire life experience is confined to these four walls.”
His gaze changed from casually looking at her to focusing more closely on her. He was listening intently. “What do I have to do with your life experiences and these four walls?”
She rubbed her nose just to give her hands something to do. Fidgeting some more, she tapped her toe. “Well, I don’t want to stop seeing you. I’ve grown used to your company.”
He stared at her and a slow smile began to appear. It started tugging his lips to each side as his gaze stayed fastened on her. She was suddenly frozen and paralyzed as she gazed back at him. Gulping at the drama, he must have heard her. What the hell? She rubbed her hands together when they got all clammy from sweat suddenly.
Then as the smile sparkled in his dark eyes, he said with a slight edge of amusement in his tone, “You’ve grown used to my company?”
“Yes. I have.” Her voice came out a little too high and crisp. Like she was reporting to court for jury duty or something equally mundane but necessary. What was happening?
Xavier set his laptop to the side while holding her gaze as he swung his legs around and began crawling the few feet of distance from her, closing the gap. His smile disappeared as slowly as it manifested, moving in sync with his approach to her. He was right in front of her, and she was sure her eyes were as big as an owl’s when her breath hitched in her throat and she gasped as she tried to breathe.
Now, his smile was all gone. His eyes kept drilling into her and the look he had on his face was dark and strange. He looked very different from the Xavier she’d grown accustomed to all these weeks. There was no teasing and no secret smile ready to come out and snap the tension that periodically popped up between them.
Close to her now, he pulled himself up on his knees until he was above her. Staring up at him, her face heated up into flames. Tilting her head back, she followed his progress as if her eyes were connected by a string to his and she had to trace the trajectory of wherever he looked. Did he hear her hammering heart? Staring down at her, he said simply, “I’ve grown used to you too.”
Her gaze was alarmed and scared. She felt it. The shallow breathing. The urge to look away, but knowing she couldn’t. The thickening of electric energy around them. The slamming of her heart into her chest. His tone sounded normal, but nothing about his look was normal. Just the fact that he was moving closer, so much closer, set off fire alarms. Right there. They didn’t do that. Nothing like this. They kept it purely friends. But not like hangout buddies. Not so comfortable that if bodily noises escaped from either of them, they’d laugh over it.
There was something going on. Something indefinable that felt new and somewhat alarming so she ignored it as she ignored anything that threatened her continued apathy.
Lifting his hand from his side, he lowered his butt onto his heels and his hand moved towards her. Her mouth opened to take a quick breath and she stared at him, her eyes huge, confused, and unsure. This was much more than growing used to someone.
His hand touched her skin and her entire nervous system reacted. An electric bolt of feelings shot through her gut. His fingertips slowly drifted to her neck, and he put his index finger below her ear while his other fingers touched her hairline, and his thumb brushed the side of her mouth. Everything inside her reacted with instantaneous awareness. So many feelings began swirling inside her and the whites of her eyes revealed her crippling fear. What? What was he doing? And why couldn’t he do it faster?
Her blood rushed and her mouth went completely dry. Her whole body zeroed in on the sensation created by his warm fingertips on her skin. It was heavenly. The massage of a lifetime. Like butterfly wings fluttering on naked skin. The whisper that gives you chills. That’s how it felt.
Xavier’s gaze showed no fear, but suddenly seemed hard, sure and serious. He tipped his forehead onto hers and slowly lowered his mouth the few inches between them. Her gaze studied his face, greedily absorbing every detail. Was it panic? Or hope? She didn’t know. She watched his lips when they parted only an inch from hers. The way he gulped… did he have a lump of feelings lodged in his throat too? His breath was soft on her mouth and his lips hovered right above hers.
Pressing his fingers deeper into her skin, he whispered, “Karlee…” as if her name were an anthem. It sounded beautiful. Strange. Haunting.
Then his mouth landed on hers with the softest pressure. Like a snowflake falling into your mouth. It’s there, but light as the air. When his mouth grazed over hers, he pressed his fingertips into her skin at the exact same moment. Her heart thudded with excitement. Her ears rang like church bells. It all happened in barely a split second, from the slightest touch. So pristine and almost virginal. Suddenly everything that was dark and passionate and lacking inside her exploded. Her gut roiled with unfamiliar emotions she couldn’t name or explain. She never felt them before. As soon as that happened, he released her. She swallowed a big gulp and so did he. Eyes as huge as saucers on both of them, they slowly evaluated each other.
His sweet breath was hot and so close. He cupped her face with his hands and her eyeballs darted all around. Leaning much closer this time, without a whisper or hesitation, Xavier’s mouth fit over hers completely. She sighed and felt like she just discovered a piece of heaven. He pressed against her and she reciprocated, feeling the weight of each other, which was so new and different. Indescribable. Beyond anything usual, ordinary, friendly or lustful. They shared a soul kiss. Filled with feelings and intensity. They remained still for the kiss, and barely moved. They hardly touched but all points of contact were more than stimulating. The drama of something innovative and dynamic and different began to play out.
As his mouth pressed on hers, she welcomed the touch of his tongue when it slipped into her mouth. He kissed her tenderly as if it were the first kiss of true meaning and importance. It was just a kiss but it made her entire body aware of it. She turned hot and cold, to the point of shivering and then she went stock still before leaning and pushing against him. She massaged his shoulders and held his frame closer to her as he slipped his tongue beside hers, sliding over hers like fine silk. His mouth was as hot as fire but it did not burn her. Their slippery tongues dueled over and over. She sighed at the way it felt. Oh, how delightful it was. She groaned into his mouth as his attention on her continued. His lips framed hers in soft, liquid fire.
She leaned fully against him and her mouth captured his before their kiss took off like a NASA rocket into the stratosphere. Their twisting, sliding, slick tongues were the rocket fuel that powered an explosion of emotion inside her. The lava-hot flow traveled through her circulatory system and she was on fire. Mashing tongues mingling into the most mind-blowing sensation she could ever imagine. It was glorious and so easy. Her apathy vanished. This new activity engaged every fiber of her body and soul. It made her heart burst and her brain buzz. She could finally immerse herself totally into passion. All the stars and fame and riches that enhanced her life paled in comparison. This was the first thing to make her feel.
It lasted for seconds, then minutes, then forever. Time came to a standstill. Even physical space failed to matter anymore. The boundaries of ordinary and normal did not apply here.
The minutes ticked by along with the magical effects of their kiss. The chemistry ignited both of them into flames. His hands traveled over her scalp, descending to her neck where he pressed a bit to increase the pressure of their fervent mouths. The softest sigh, or was it a moan? escaped her and she relished the swirling ecstasy with closed eyes and a thumping heart. On and on, the kiss elevated her from her body, her brain, her room, her house, and her whole life.
Pushing his hands on her with gentle tugs, he lifted his lips from hers and kissed the side of her face. He tucked her neatly alongside him.
“I lied to you.” His tone sounded gravelly. Was he as affected as she was? Karlee’s throat felt so dry, if she tried to speak, all the volume would have been gone.
“Why?”
He chuckled and the motion made his chest bump and vibrate against her ear. The side of her face leaned against his shoulder. “Only you would ask about my motivation and not what I lied about. You’re always surprising me. I think that’s why I like you so much.”
“Then why did you lie to me? If you say you like me so much?”
“Because I was embarrassed and I didn’t want you to know the truth.”
“Now that you mentioned it, what is the truth?”
“You mean, what did I lie about?”
“Yeah. Duh.”
He released her and she tilted her face to look up at him. Staring down at his lap, he said in a wooden tone, “I think I have a good voice and I like to sing and know how to play the guitar. I’ve done so for as long as I can remember. It was my only escape, the one thing I lived for. I was always hiding out in an old, decrepit garden shed in my dad’s yard. I used to hide in there and play anything and everything I could manage to get my hands on.”
“So why did you lie about it?”
“You surprised me when you asked. I mean, not everyone notices a good voice from a bad one. So I imagined your experience with Zenith, the music you were weaned on, and knew I couldn’t compare to Rob and them. So I tried to be cool about it. You know? Not every idiot covers Rob’s music from his bedroom. Massacring his mastery.”
“That’s a stupid thing to lie about.”
He smiled, staring down at his feet. “Is it, Karlee Randall Williams?” His voice rolled over the famous last name of her step dad.
“So Rob is your idol? You want to be like him?”
“He’s just one of many. Not him specifically. I was thrilled and still am to meet him and hang out at his house with his daughter.”
“Is that why you kissed me?”
“No.” He grabbed the shoelace of his black canvas shoe and twirled it. “At least, I don’t think so. But I don’t want to be an asshole who does that. I’ve told you the truth of it from the start. I just don’t know how to like you when I’d have done anything when I was younger to be in the position where I find myself right this moment. How do I not blow it? I mean, I want to make sure that subconsciously I’m not trying to use you.”
“Are you?”
His head shook and his hair flopped forward with it. “I really like you.”
“Why?”
He had a small smile as he stared at his shoelace. “Never one to let me off the hook, are you? Probing me for the reason why, as always. Because you’re funny and dry and sarcastic and I get all your humor. You keep me on my toes and I’m never sure what you’ll say or how you’ll react. Just when I expect you’ll be making fun of me, you’re suddenly kind, sweet and supportive. And you hate small talk, so when you speak, it’s worth listening to. And you’re pretty too but you don’t know it. But your sweet look isn’t anything like who or what you are. I thought it was and I like knowing the fiery you a lot better.”
She kept her gaze glued on him as he spoke. Was it the unvarnished truth? His miserably glum look suggested it might be.
“But since I’m connected to Zenith, you see it as a drawback? Or you doubt that I’ll believe your motive for being here.”
“Yeah.”
“Well? Is this all about meeting Rob?”
“No. You mean, our kissing? Definitely not about Rob.”
“Well, that’s a relief. He’s taken.”
His head bobbed up her way and a slow smile replaced the almost tragically serious face.
“Making a joke?”
“Well, why not when you’re so bitterly serious.”
“Yeah? Well, now you know.”
She wondered what she knew or didn’t know so she asked, “So you cover Rob’s songs, huh?”
He looked away, but she saw the corners of his mouth beginning to smile. “You will never, ever hear me do a cover of one of Rob’s songs.”
“Why? Because you suck?” She tried to make her tone saccharine sweet as if she were complimenting him.
“Because you would never let me hear the end of it.”
“True. I wouldn’t. Unless you didn’t suck. Then I’d give you credit for having the guts to sing for me, considering I was weaned on Rob’s songs, to use your words.”
His shoulders shrugged forward as she spoke before he relaxed and let out a small bark of laughter. “You aren’t going to goad or dare me into it either.”
“Oh. So you do suck? I know that would be embarrassing.”
His shoulders pulled back, tensing and straightening his back. “Oh fuck, no. I don’t suck and you’d be shamed into an apology for ever doubting me.”
She smiled. That was the Xavier she most liked. Kidding and not acting uncomfortable that Rob was such a big deal between her and him.
But they’d kissed. Since they no longer needed to work together on the class project, they had to arrange to see each other. What next?
“So fine. What do we do now?”
He was quiet but glanced at her and away. “Did you want me to kiss you?”
“Did you want to?” she countered.
“I asked you first. Now who’s the brave one?”
“Fine. Yes. I did. It was pretty decent too.”
He whipped his face up to hers and gave her a once-over. Then he glared and squinted. “Bullshit. It was epic. And you know it.”
“It was… okay.” She shrugged and smiled, dipping her head and appearing to become fascinated with her socks.
