Only You (A Second Chance Romance), page 23
“What do you mean?” Lou handed an appointment card to a client and set her pen down.
“Did he do this?”
“If by he you mean Jackson, then the answer is yes.”
Wow.
I lowered my face into the bouquet, closed my eyes, and inhaled the scent of spring. Its aroma intensified in the winter months.
“This is the first time I’ve seen you smile since Adam’s funeral. You should do that more often,” she said.
“Thanks. I missed this place.” I lowered my purse to the counter and removed my jacket. “How did he know I’d be here today?”
“He didn’t. He’s been sending bouquets of yellow tulips twice each week.”
“What?
“What can I say? The man loves you.”
“Lou—”
“Everyone here missed you as well,” she interrupted. “But if you need more time—”
“No, it’s okay. I think it’s better if I lose myself in work.”
Lou’s brows scrunched, and she frowned.
“What’s wrong now?” I asked.
“You’re not touching one client with those nails.”
Okay, so I might have neglected self-care a bit, but over the past few months, while Lou and my mother were helping me settle into the new routine, I realized that the bigger things in life had to take priority, and nails were not part of that list. We had so little time on Earth, why waste it on the insignificant? Why spend it on anything other than your loved ones? Though looking at my chipped and half bitten nails, they scared even me.
“Come on. It’s time to gel those up.” Lou led me toward one of the manicure stations. She switched the radio station to eighties, and I lowered my hands into the soap dishes.
“Your feet are next, by the way.”
“What?”
“When was the last time you had a pedi?”
I didn’t remember.
“That’s what I thought,” she replied, without waiting for an answer. “And if you don’t get a wax down there before the end of the day, I swear I’ll individually tweeze each hair on your cha-cha.”
“That area is fine. Besides, no one’s going to see it anyway.”
Lou just shook her head and began working on my nails. Almost an hour later, the front door opened, and we both turned around at the same time. Jackson was standing in the doorway with a fresh bouquet of tulips, smiling. It had been a couple of weeks since I’d seen him. We had gone out to a quick lunch, which we’d done a lot in the past few months. Today, though, I could have sworn that he looked even more handsome than ever. That smile, with a showcased dimple in his left cheek, was contagious. I held my breath, scanning him from the bottom up while my heart’s spirit lifted. I couldn’t even count how many times I’d imagined running to him and jumping into his arms. He always seemed so close, yet so far away.
“You sure about that?” Lou applied the top coat to my nails, while I just stared.
“He hand delivered them?” I asked in a whisper.
“Yes. And business has picked up ever since rumors started spreading of a handsome CEO with yellow tulips coming to the salon.”
“Good morning,” Jackson called out. A few clients giggled, and some ladies waved. Jackson set the bouquet on the counter, removed his jacket, and hung it in the front closet.
Lou leaned in closer. “I just had an orgasm.”
“Stop it, Lou,” I said, as Jackson headed towards us. He pulled out a chair from an adjacent station and sat beside me.
“It’s good to see you here, Alex.”
“It’s time I got back to work.” I looked down at my freshly painted nails. “Even though I’m not working now.”
“What are you doing after work?” he asked.
“Kids, dinner, you know… the usual.”
Why was I so nervous? And why was it so difficult to talk to him? Was it because I couldn’t stop staring at his lips? Had they always been that inviting?
“How about lunch?” he asked.
“I think Lou’s got me booked until the afternoon.”
Of all the times that my friend couldn’t shut up, now she chose to remain silent? Where was her mouth when I needed it most?
“All right, let me cut to the chase, then. I’d like to take you out to dinner. You name the time and the place, and I’ll be there.”
A dinner at this moment seemed too formal.
“Like on a date?” I asked.
“You can call it whatever you want as long as you agree.”
Kids. Yes, that was a safer subject. “The kids said they talked to you about coming over this weekend.”
“They did, but I hoped that we could get together, just the two of us. Without the kids.”
My body instantly heated at his words and what they meant. He wanted us to get together. He wanted us to be alone, and I wasn’t sure whether I was ready for that. I wanted to be, but was it too soon?
“Ahm, I have to check if I have any appointments. I’m still trying to juggle everything.” That was a lie, of course. I’d spent so much time organizing the paperwork that if I had December’s numbers, I’d be ready to file this year’s taxes.
I was finding it difficult to agree to see him, and I didn’t know why. Was there a protocol I should be following, as a new widow? Wasn’t there a grieving period that had to pass? Like a year? I wanted to be ready and felt ready, but didn’t know how to approach it. Truthfully, each time I saw Jackson, I wanted him to hold me the way he held me years ago. I wanted him to kiss me like he had on that couch in the back room. Worse, I wanted him to touch me the way he had back then.
What was preventing me from doing so? Why was I so distant? I’d already declined Thanksgiving at his house, and seeing that Christmas was just around the corner, I had a feeling that Jackson would want to connect before then as well.
“I’ll be in the area tomorrow. How about lunch then?” he asked.
Jackson was more persistent than before. He didn’t look like he’d take no for an answer, and I was too absorbed in understanding the terms and limits of our relationship to not overthink it. “I’m pretty sure that Lou’s got me booked up this week, and then I have an appointment at the bank for a new business loan.”
“It’s all done.” Lou lifted my hands with pride, and I wanted to use those cuticle cutters to cut off her tongue.
“I haven’t been at work for a while now, so I’m sure there are things to catch up on that I don’t even know about.”
Suddenly I felt stupid about doing my nails when I was supposed to be so busy.
“I can see that I’m not going to get anywhere right now.” He glanced at his watch, then let out a long breath. Was he frustrated? I’d never seen the impatient side of Jackson. “Okay, let’s start with the holidays, then. Come over with the kids on Monday. They’re off school, right? And be ready to spend this Christmas with me. Your mother has already agreed, and I told my parents you’d be there. I’m not going to take no for an answer, Alex. Christmas at my house. Lou, you’re invited as well.”
Without waiting for my reply, Jackson stood up and went back to get his coat.
“I’ll see you Monday,” he called out.
Jackson left, and I found myself a victim of Lou’s deadly stare.
“What?”
“The man’s asking you out, and you keep rejecting him.”
“I didn’t reject him. I’m busy, and so is he.”
“Bullshit. If you keep this up, Betty Boop will get her claws into him before you ever agree to a date.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because she’s been here.”
“Here? In the salon?”
Lou nodded. “I don’t know why, but I think she’s scouting for you. The things she’s been saying about Jackson would make your skin crawl.”
“And you’re telling me this just now? What is she saying?”
“Please don’t make me repeat it, but it sounds like Ms. Boop is planning on becoming Mrs. Knight.”
“Jackson would never consider that.”
“That’s what I thought too, but I don’t know, Alex. You should go out with him. Don’t delay it.”
“Well, now it looks like we’re spending Christmas together.”
“That doesn’t count. You two need time alone.”
“I can’t date. It’s too early.”
“You’d be fine dating if Adam were alive and you threw his sorry ass out on the street, the way I know you wanted to.”
Yeah, she definitely got me there.
“Is he your friend?” she asked.
“Yes, of course.”
“Then have dinner with him as a friend. Don’t think of it as anything more, and start from there.”
Was Lou right? Was I pushing Jackson away, and was Maria using the opportunity to get closer to him? If there was anyone I wouldn’t want Jackson to be with, it was that conniving little bitch who was using her son to get to Jackson. Lou poured water into the tub for my feet.
“I hope you know that I’m not planning on spending three hours as a client in my own salon.”
“How long has it been since you went to the spa with your mom?” she asked.
I quickly counted in my head. “Almost four months,” I answered.
“Exactly. Jesus, I’m scared to even look at the bush between your legs.”
“Some men like bush.”
“Is Jackson one of them?”
He wasn’t, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. And yeah, Lou was right. I did need to at least trim down there. What if we did cross that friendly boundary? What if I couldn’t keep Jackson at arm’s length any longer? The truth was, I didn’t want any more distance from him. I didn’t want to be alone, and couldn’t even imagine spending the rest of my life without him.
I wanted Jackson.
I wanted him in all the ways imaginable. I needed him in my life as much more than a friend, and I had a feeling that the time to realize it was beginning to run out. If only Maria could stay out of the way, I was certain that there was a clear path. The last thing I wanted in my life was drama, but with Betty Boop not far away, it could be a while before my wish came true.
Chapter 27
It was time for a change.
The next morning I woke up an hour early and spent most of it under the shower, shaving and trimming, ensuring that Lou wouldn’t miss a spot when she waxed me. I applied layers of cream to my body, and for the first time in a long while, added some blush to my cheeks.
Wearing high heels and a hip-hugging sweater dress, I packed up a lunch I’d prepared into a bag, dropped the kids off at school, and headed to Jackson’s office. The elevator ride to the top floor of Mercedes headquarters felt like it took forever. I counted the numbers in my head as the elevator ascended, and then I took a deep breath as it stopped and opened to the reception area.
“Good morning,” I said to Kelly.
“Hey, Alex. How are you?” If Kelly was surprised to see me, she didn’t show it.
“Good. Is Jackson in?”
Maybe I should have called ahead. What if Jackson were in a meeting? What if he hadn’t come to work at all? Worse yet, what if he were here, but after the way I rejected him yesterday, he didn’t want to see me?
“Yes, he’s in his office. I’ll call him now.”
I stepped from one foot to another, the bag full of salads, sandwiches, and fruits feeling heavier and heavier by the minute.
“Mr. Knight? Alex… I mean, Ms. Langs is here—” Kelly didn’t continue and slowly set the receiver down.
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
“No, I’m pretty sure he’s on his way.”
Maybe I should have worn a different dress because with each passing second, this one was feeling more like a down-filled winter jacket.
I should leave before I embarrass myself.
My doubts vanished the moment Jackson stepped through the big brown door. With the top three buttons undone, his white shirt was partially open, and his sleeves were rolled up to the elbows. My heart stopped; then, like a race car revving up the engine, it started up again when he smiled. And this time, it didn’t stop.
Jackson had a talent for walking in slow motion and making me feel like my schoolgirl crush on him had never faded, which it hadn’t. He came closer, smiling; yet his eyes were shadowed with worry, and I wondered whether it was personal or work related.
“Alex? What are you doing here?” he asked.
“I’m sorry about yesterday.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I was rude.”
“That’s nonsense. Come on in.” He guided me to his office. At the sound of the door gently locking behind me, I felt goosebumps do a happy wave on my arms. The room had a similar look and feel to the office at his house. I slowly turned to the left, taking in the predominantly gray and white decor. There was a glass desk with three monitors by the floor-to-wall window. A quick flashback to what I’d seen on the computer screens at Jackson’s house shook through me, and I continued turning. A black couch with matching pillows lined the left wall, and then two car sculptures. As I swiveled further on my foot, I noticed Jackson at the door, checking his phone. He frowned. I didn’t want to interrupt, and so I continued to the left, toward a larger conference table full of paperwork and sketches. When I fully turned to the last wall, I lost my balance at the sight and nearly dropped the bag of food I’d brought. Covering half the area, a beautiful oil painting of a field of yellow tulips hung in the center. It was almost identical to the one under the sheets in my attic, with one exception: this one lacked my portrait. It was also the only colorful picture in the room, which made it stand out that much more.
“You okay?”
I jumped up at the touch of Jackson’s hand on my lower back. “It’s yours,” I noted, nodding toward the painting without looking back.
“Yes.”
I could feel Jackson standing close at my side. His heat penetrated my clothing and made the dress now feel like a fur coat. I took a deep breath, immediately regretting it as Jackson’s masculine scent filled my nose. Now I was not only sweating, but I could also feel my nipples harden.
“It’s beautiful,” I said.
“It’s incomplete.” His breath was near my neck, adding another layer of arousal. It was then that I realized why I’d avoided being alone with him. Spending time at a restaurant was different, because technically we weren’t alone; but now, being here with him, that sizzling energy was back, and our connection felt stronger than ever. I was afraid of what it meant; afraid and curious at the same time. I closed my eyes and felt his fingers slowly drag down my arm until they reached my hand, where he uncoiled my clasp. “Let me help you with that.”
He slowly removed the bag from my hand and paced toward his desk, where he lowered it and then leaned back, resting his ass on the glass top.
Looking at him all slick and handsome, feeling the heat in my body climb right into my armpits, I wished I had worn lighter clothing.
“I’m sorry about lunch and dinner yesterday.”
“We didn’t have lunch or dinner.”
“That’s what I’m sorry about. I was rude. I’ve been trying to avoid spending time with you, and I wanted to make up for it.” I pointed to the bag on the table.
He glanced to the side. “You brought lunch?” Jackson’s mouth lifted up into a sexy grin.
“Yeah.”
“Thank you. I know it’s only ten, but I’m starving.”
From the way he was looking at me, though, I had a feeling that he was starving for something other than food. Jackson walked over to the conference table and grabbed a chair. “I’m sorry about the mess. We can eat here.” He set it on the glass desk, after which he rolled over his leather chair and set it behind me. I took my seat and started to unpack.
“You didn’t have to do this, Alex.”
What?
“You don’t want me here?” I asked.
“No, of course I do. But this was Adam’s workplace. I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable.”
The funny thing was that I wasn’t. In fact, I hadn’t even thought about Adam for a moment. The only person on my mind was Jackson. Was that a bad thing?
“Believe me, I feel as comfortable here as I should be,” I answered.
“You sure about it?”
“I… I hadn’t thought of him until you mentioned him.”
“Hmm, maybe I should shut up, then. I’ve been consciously trying not to mention Adam or cancer. I don’t like seeing you hurting.”
Was that what he saw when he looked at me? A grieving widow? Because it wasn’t the way I wanted him to see me; not any longer, at least.
“It’s okay. I’ve been more worried about what people think. I mean, it’s only been four months.”
“I don’t care what people think. I only care about what you think. I see in you this light that brightens up my soul. I feel the constant energy that’s buzzing around us when we’re together. And when we’re apart, all I want is to run to you, be with you, breathe with you. But I also understand that you need time, and I’m willing to give you as much time as you need. Losing someone close is not easy, and you’ve gone through this way too many times.”
“I try not to think about him, and it’s easier when I don’t because I don’t have stupid thoughts.”
Jackson leaned back in his chair, and I crossed my legs. I sank into the cushioned seat. “What stupid thoughts?”
I shifted uncomfortably. “Sometimes I think I brought Adam’s death on myself.”
“That’s ridiculous, Alex. You didn’t give him cancer.”
“Yes, but after I found out he was cheating I… I wished he were dead. I wanted him out of my life.”
“Alex, that’s normal. He hurt you. And you, instead of confronting him, stood by him. You know what that makes you? Selfless.”
My mother had said the same thing. Was she right? Could I be happy and remain a respectful widow at the same time. I didn’t like the word widow. It felt like the end and I didn’t want an end. I cleared my throat. “I… I’d like to spend more time with you, Jackson.”
“That sounds very… appetizing.”
