Quiet Types, page 29
“Maybe soften your language in front of the kids,” I said quietly, and Mam’s eyes hardened. Her glower vanished, her expression softening when she looked to Vivi. “Why don’t you and the others go grab yourselves some snacks from the vending machines? Maggie and I need a little chat.”
“I don’t have any money,” Vivi said, and I immediately dug in my purse for some coins before handing them over. The kids left, and I glanced back at Mam. She was watching them go.
“It’s a damn shame they have to live with those strangers. I would’ve thought you’d take them in,” she said, but I didn’t let the criticism penetrate. I refused.
“They’re only strangers to you. And personally, I think it’s more of a shame their mother is in prison.” My retort had a sharp, cruel grin curving her lips.
“Well, you have me there, now, don’t you.” She looked away, clasping her hands together before returning her attention to me. “So, tell me about this brother of yours. What kind of work has he got you doing?”
“I’d rather you tell me about my father. By the sounds of it, there was a big age gap between the two of you.”
For the first time, I saw a flicker of vulnerability in her expression, but it was gone in an instant. “Dirty old perv,” she spat. “I didn’t see I was being taken advantage of at the time. He had his own place and a car. I thought I’d bagged myself a catch. I could leave my parents’ house and start off fresh. It’s only looking back I realise I was no more than a child, and he was old enough to be my father. That’s what you come from, Maggie. Are you satisfied to know your old man was a scumbag pervert? You should be thanking me. I saved you the heartbreak of knowing him.”
I still had the heartbreak of knowing you, though, didn’t I?
“That wasn’t your decision to make.”
“Yeah, well, what’s done is done. The prick is in the ground, and you dodged a bullet, but clearly you have no intention of thanking me. You were always like that, ungrateful. All this time, I thought you’d eventually come around and pay your poor mother a visit, but no. I don’t hear a whisper in eight years. You’re cold-hearted, Maggie. That’s the truth.”
I didn’t know whether to lash out or laugh at that statement because she was the most cold-hearted woman I’d ever known.
Inhaling sharply, I managed to keep my cool. “I’m sorry you fell victim to a man like Gerard. You were young, and your parents should’ve looked out for you.”
She sniffed. “I could take care of myself.”
“Right, but you shouldn’t have had to.”
She was quiet then. I had no idea what was going through her head. I thought maybe my sympathy had softened her enough to just talk to me without scheming or digging for information. I knew it wasn’t to be when she brought the conversation back to Jonathan.
“Tell me about the brother, then. If he’s anything like Gerard, I can’t imagine he’s a decent bloke. What business is he in?”
“I haven’t gotten to know him very well yet, but he seems like a good person so far. Gerard wasn’t really in his life either. His mother raised him.” I didn’t answer her question about his business because I knew that was the information she was really after. She wanted to know if it was lucrative. I saw the flicker of annoyance in her eyes. She wasn’t very good at masking it.
“And you like working for him? It must pay well. You know, I could do with a few quid in my commissary—”
“I’m not giving you money,” I said, cutting her off. My heart sank because that was always what it came back to with her. I knew her hard life had misshapen her, but I’d had a hard life, too. It didn’t turn me into an opportunist who valued people only for what they could provide.
Mam’s expression soured, her lips tightening, eyes narrowing to slits. “I don’t need your money,” she spat, then leaned forward, firmly gripping my forearm and digging her fingers in. I tried to pull away, but her grip was too tight. I was surprised none of the supervising guards noticed. “I just thought it would be a nice gesture because it’s Christmas and all, but I forgot I was dealing with a spiteful little cunt.”
There was a shocked gasp, and Mam immediately let go of my arm. We both looked to find the kids had returned. Vivi was the one who gasped, her hands going over Eamonn’s ears. Robbie was frowning, and Shelly’s eyes welled up like she was about to cry.
“Don’t talk to her like that,” Robbie demanded, stepping forward.
“That wasn’t for your ears, son,” Mam said. “Maggie and I were having a conversation for grownups.”
“I don’t think grownups should call each other the c-word,” Robbie countered. “It isn’t nice.”
“Ah, here,” Mam replied, softening her features and ignoring what he said. “Come and sit back down. I’ve missed you all so much.”
“I want to go home,” Shelly said quietly, a quiver in her voice, and Eamonn nodded in agreement.
Mam’s soft expression suddenly hardened. “You want to go home? Go, then. You’ve all enjoyed pretending I don’t exist for eight years, might as well go on doing the same for another eight.”
“They’re children,” I said. “It wasn’t in their power to—”
“Oh, do fuck off, Maggie. I don’t need the holier than thou act. You always liked to imagine you were better than me, but you’re not, especially not with a father the likes of Gerard Murphy.”
My heart frosted over as I stared at her. “I didn’t think I was better than you. All I ever wanted was for you to be my parent and take care of me, love me, but you weren’t capable of that.”
She didn’t seem to have any response other than to shake her head and fold her arms like I was being melodramatic.
When I looked to Vivi, she seemed shattered. Whatever hopes she’d had about Mam being redeemable cracked and folded. Rising from my seat, I took Shelly’s hand. “Come on, it’s time to go,” I said.
“Yeah, go on, leave,” I heard Mam say derisively as we went. “Waste of my time.”
“She was so nice at first,” Vivi whispered, shaken, when we emerged from the building. I inhaled a big gulp of air, feeling like I could finally breathe again.
“Don’t take it personally. That was all about me, okay? We just …” I trailed off. My relationship with our mother was difficult to explain in one sentence. “We rub each other the wrong way,” I finally finished. It was the most PG answer I could give in front of the younger children.
“She’s mean,” Eamonn said, his little face drawn and serious. I hated seeing him look that way.
“She’s a fu—” Robbie began, but he shut up when he saw the warning look I gave him. I had a fair idea what he was about to say, but then he finished cheekily, “A fudging witch. She’s a fudging witch.”
Suddenly, Vivi burst out laughing, and then the others joined in, too. I couldn’t help the grin that tugged at my lips. Trust a twelve-year-old boy to figure out a creative way around swearing.
I was grateful to him for lightening the mood, though. Vivi came and linked her arm through mine. “I think I get it now, why you didn’t want to visit her.”
“She’s a complicated person,” I said. “But she’s still our mother. I understand why you want to know her.”
“That’s the thing. I’m not sure if I do anymore.”
“You don’t need to decide now. You might change your mind,” I said, casting her a gentle look.
Vivi nodded, and I spotted Shay emerge from the car. My spirits lifted when I saw him. If the sight of my mam filled me with tension and dread, then the sight of Shay filled me with the opposite. Seeing her today was a good thing. If nothing else, it reminded me how much better my life was without her in it. I didn’t need to feel guilty for cutting her out. My mam was who she was because her life and circumstances had shaped her that way. She’d been hurt and neglected, and I felt for her in that regard, but being around her was just volunteering myself for guaranteed suffering. Maybe it was selfish, but I had no problem being selfish on this issue. It was either that or let her hurt me. And I refused to let her hurt me any longer.
“He’s so hot,” Vivi sighed, gazing at Shay. “You’re lucky, Maggie. He’s clearly obsessed with you. I wish a boy could be obsessed with me like that.”
I was surprised she’d noticed Shay’s feelings for me because she’d only observed us together for a short while that morning. I was also surprised by her interest in boys. Well, I wasn’t naive. I knew she was coming to that age, but it was still disconcerting.
“You’re too young for boys to be obsessing over you. Wait a few years, please, for my sanity and peace of mind,” I cast her a suffering look, and she chuckled, her mood improved since we’d left the prison.
“Okay, maybe I can wait a little while longer,” she allowed as we reached Shay. His astute gaze wandered over each of us, trying to figure out how the visit had gone. I stepped up to him and immediately threw my arms around his neck. My body sank into his, his comforting arms wrapping around my waist. When he drew away, he studied me, gauging my emotions.
“I’m okay,” I told him quietly. “Thank you for waiting. I’ll tell you all about the visit later.”
Shay nodded, and I turned to the kids. “Well, is anyone hungry? How about a Happy Meal for lunch?”
Their eyes immediately lit up and I knew it was the right suggestion. Eamonn loved his Happy Meals. We piled into the car, and Shay drove us the short distance to the nearest McDonalds. We were lucky to find a table big enough for all six of us in the back because it was Christmas Eve, and the place was packed with families and hyperactive kids.
When we were finished eating, I handed out the gifts I’d stowed in the car. A hair styler for Vivi, a football kit for Robbie, a new dress for Shelly and roller blades for Eamonn. They were all thrilled with their presents, and Shay seemed amused by their excitement. Lots of kids got endless presents on Christmas day, but those kids typically only got one or two, so they were always very happy, no matter what they received.
I was so proud of them, especially for how well they’d dealt with Mam. No one had cried or thrown a tantrum. They’d somehow figured out on their own she wasn’t ever going to be their mother in the traditional sense. It shouldn’t have surprised me. The kids had been through a lot of upheaval in their short lives. They were mature far beyond their years.
Before long, it was time to drop them home. Shay waited in the car while I went into the house and had a quick chat with Delia and Ken. Both seemed relieved when I told them I didn’t think the kids would be asking to visit their mother again any time soon.
When I returned to the car, it felt so much quieter without the kids’ chatter. Shay silently pulled back out onto the road, and I stared through the window at all the houses lit up with Christmas lights.
Somewhere along the way, I closed my eyes, only realising I’d drifted to sleep when Shay nudged me awake. I blinked, noticing the car was stationary, and we were parked outside my flat. Shay’s expression was tender as he took me in, and I blushed, embarrassed for having fallen asleep.
“What a day,” I said with a yawn as I released my seatbelt. “Thanks again for driving us, and, well, just for being there. I really appreciated it.”
Shay picked up his phone to type. “The kids seemed a little subdued after the visit. What exactly happened with your mother?”
I blew out a breath. “She was fine at first, but then Vivi let slip about my new job and finding out I had a brother. Mam started digging for info, eventually hinting at me giving her money. I told her no, and the mask slipped. She got aggressive with me, called me an ugly name I won’t repeat. The kids were upset. I’m not sure if they’ll want to go see her again after that. It’s sad because she could have a relationship with them if she just put a little effort in.”
“I’m sorry,” Shay typed. “I wish it had gone better.”
“Yeah, me, too,” I said, meeting his gaze. His dark green eyes were gentle, caring, and I didn’t want to be without him tonight. That was probably why I blurted, “Come in for a little while. I’ll make tea.”
Shay nodded, climbing from the car and coming around to my side to open my door for me. It was strange to be around someone who treated me so chivalrously. I’d spent my whole life opening my own doors. It was going to take some getting used to having Shay around.
When we were inside, I turned on a lamp, then went to switch on the string of fairy lights I’d hung a few days ago. I also put up a small Christmas tree in the corner, feeling the need to make the place a little bit festive. The lights and the tree cast an unexpectedly romantic glow over the room.
“Make yourself comfortable,” I said to Shay, feeling a little self-conscious when I looked his way. His eyes were blazing, his heated expression causing my pulse to race. I wanted him so much. Not being with him all week had been torture. We’d kissed today, but I still felt the need to bridge the gap, let him know all was forgiven, and he could touch me, come as close as he wanted, whenever he wanted. I sensed his hesitancy, so I stepped forward and took his hand in mine. Lifting it, I gently kissed his knuckles.
“You don’t have to keep your distance,” I whispered, my eyes meeting his as I studied his reaction. His throat moved, just the barest flicker. Then his gaze went to my bed before returning to me.
The faintest smile shaped my lips. “Shay Riordan, did you just tell me with your eyes to get into bed?”
He smiled back, the expression making his already handsome features even more so. Then, he nodded, and I stepped away, my heart pounding and his eyes never leaving me as I walked to the bed. Grabbing the hem of my jumper, I pulled it off until I wore only my bra. I turned back to Shay, certain my face showed every ounce of the longing and love and tenderness I felt for him.
I opened my mouth to ask what he was still doing all the way over on the other side of the room, but milliseconds later, he was in front of me. Shay captured my face in his hands, somehow communicating so much through a single look. The flat was quiet and low-lit. We were so close I could almost hear his heart beating in tandem with mine.
He tilted my head back, and a moment later, he kissed me like he wanted to savour me. We fell onto the bed, lips and tongues and bodies colliding. I moaned when his erection prodded between my thighs, my hands reaching for the hem of his top to pull it off. He wore a jumper with a T-shirt underneath, and I saw amusement dance across his features as I struggled with them. In one swift move, he yanked them over his head and threw them to the floor. My eyes feasted on his toned muscles and tapered torso.
Breathing heavily, I reached for his fly, eagerly undoing it and shoving his jeans down. Shay made short work of my bra, his breaths eager as he deftly unclipped it. Seconds later, his mouth was on my breasts, devouring them as his tongue flicked tantalisingly at my nipple.
“I need you inside me,” I begged. “Now.”
His mouth leaving my breasts, Shay eased my trousers and underwear down my legs while every part of me hummed with arousal. I was wet for him, ready. Shay crawled back up my body, his hand moulding my breast as he kissed me deeply. I sighed into the kiss as he settled between my legs. His thick head prodded at my entrance, and his expression clouded when in unison we both realised he wasn’t wearing protection.
“It’s okay,” I breathed. “I’m on the pill. And I trust you.”
His eyes flickered uncertainly, his head tilting in question. You sure?
“Please, I want to feel you.”
His eyes were molten as his mouth returned to mine, muffling my moans as he slid home. I was deliciously full, the sensation of him inside me with nothing between us had my heart racing fast. I adored him, my hands sifting through his hair as his hips moved slowly in and out, making love to me. When he drew back, our eyes connected, and I knew we were thinking the same thing.
I was his, irrevocably.
And he was mine.
23.
Maggie
It was Christmas morning, and I was lying in bed staring at a giant picture of myself, done in a mixture of paint and charcoal, that hung on my wall. The man I loved had created it, and if I ever had any doubt he loved me in return, all I had to do was look at the image, and I knew for certain.
It was a thrilling, powerful feeling to know someone had slaved over a painting, trying to capture my likeness, communicate how I made him feel in every line and brushstroke.
Church bells rang in the distance, and I reluctantly pulled my body away from Shay’s warm, naked skin to go and see what there was for breakfast. I thought he was still asleep, but then strong arms pulled me back.
The next thing I knew, I was beneath him, and he was sliding into me in a wave of sensuous pleasure. I didn’t think he could possibly have anything left in him after last night, but he was insatiable. Maybe I was, too.
If it wasn’t Christmas day and we weren’t due to have dinner with his whole family at his brother’s house, then I’d stay in bed with Shay until New Year’s. So long as we had food and water, we’d be good, right?
Much later, when I finally managed to convince Shay to let me leave the bed, I made toast with butter and strawberry jam for breakfast. Then I took a shower.
I was alone for a minute or two before Shay squeezed in behind me, his tall, broad frame at my back. I really needed to think seriously about getting a larger flat because my tiny shower was barely big enough for the two of us. And I had a feeling Shay was going to want to be in there with me often.
Now that I had greater earnings, I could afford a nicer place, but a part of me didn’t want to leave my tiny haven, small and worn and aged as it was. I liked my street, liked having Siobhan and Bob there to greet me when I got home from a long day at work. I’d hate not having them as my neighbours anymore.
By the time we were dressed, we had just enough time to drive to Shay’s house to pick up his dad. Eugene emerged with a smile as he glanced from me to his son. I had a feeling Shay had spoken to him since the conversation I overheard because Eugene didn’t appear concerned about Shay staying the night at my place. In fact, he seemed rather cheerful about it.
