Plat, page 19
“I’m so sorry.” I didn’t know what to say. I felt terrible, but this was my father’s doing, and though it was because of me, I hadn’t done anything wrong. Hell, now that I knew what I knew, I was the one who’d been wronged for the last eight years or so.
“I’ve got a meeting with my attorney in the morning,” Lexi said, “but I can’t sleep so I’m downstairs watching TV without the sound on because Zaan has to sleep. He has a game tomorrow.”
“Listen, there’s a lot going on. I’m going to give you the basics, and then I have to go, because I need to make some calls myself.” I told her what had happened at the pharmacy and my medications and she was shocked.
“Oh my god, Ariel, you have to tell your lawyer right away!”
“I will. But listen, do me a favor, and don’t tell anyone. Not yet, okay? Not even the band. I need to talk to Madeline and to Tyler, and then make a plan of attack. We can’t risk anyone finding out until I’m ready. Even though I know my dad has been lying to me, it’s going to be hard to prove he’s been giving me the wrong pills because the label on the outside of the bottle is right. Which means my dad is getting the prescription and then switching out the pills before he gives me the bottles. We usually do a ninety-day supply, so this has been very carefully calculated, and I have to be careful.”
“I hate keeping anything from the guys, but I won’t say anything until you’ve had a chance to sort it out on your end.”
“Thank you. I love you, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make this right,” I said softly.
“I love you, too,” she said.
We disconnected, and I immediately called Madeline. She’d given me her cell phone number and said to call day or night if I needed anything, and I definitely needed something. Probably a lot of somethings.
I’d just gotten off the phone with Madeline when Tyler came in. I hoped my news would help with how strained things had been between us the last couple of days, and I quickly got up.
“Hey.” He reached out a hand. “Can we talk?”
“Of course. I have a lot to tell you.”
“This is important.”
“O-kay.” I was a little taken aback. I’d never seen him so serious, and it scared me.
“I’m worried,” he said.
“About?”
“You. Us. The band. A lot of things.”
“Well, me too, but—”
“No, listen.” He held up a hand. “I think maybe we need to take a step back with things.”
“A…step back?” I had no idea what he was talking about.
“I care about you, and I’m not abandoning you, but I’ve got to think about the band, too. Things have gone south the last couple of days, and even though I don’t care what your dad or Darren does to me, now that it’s impacting the others, it might be time to take steps to protect them.”
I stared at him in disbelief. “I warned you this might happen, and you said you didn’t care, that you could handle Darren and my father.”
“I know. And I can. But I didn’t think they’d go after Stu. I mean, this smear campaign is bad. Have you seen what they’re saying about him? And they’re making it so that no other label will want to sign a band who has a murderer in it. I have a lot invested in both the band and these friendships. I have to think beyond you and me.”
I was too stunned to respond, and I continued staring at him in confusion. I’d just found out that I almost definitely wasn’t bipolar, and Madeline was taking steps to end the conservatorship immediately. All I had to do was get on a plane and go home to fight, but Tyler had already given up on us. On me. The one person I’d thought I could trust, and he’d just betrayed me, emotionally if not in any other way. But it hurt almost as much as if he’d called my father and told him where I was.
“Honey, I want you to be okay, too,” he said gently. “I want to find you the right psychiatrist and figure out what’s going on with your meds so we can move forward without all this other bullshit causing trouble. Not just for the band, but for you. And so I can help you when you spiral or whatever, like the other night. I don’t want to enable you when you’re having a hard time, but I need the right tools if I’m going to be able to help. Maybe if we take a little time apart, for you to find new doctors and everything, and for me to fix the band’s image, we’ll be able to start over with something healthy. Something with the potential to be long-term.”
“I…” I was at a loss for words because this hurt so much more than I’d ever imagined it would. I’d found the strength to fight my father because of him, and now he’d essentially said he didn’t have faith in me. He actually believed the fact that I wanted to have sex with him all the time meant I was manic. Now that I knew that wasn’t the case at all, it was as humiliating as it was painful, and it suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe. Tears were threatening to spill over any second now, and I was damned if I’d let him see me cry. Not over him at least.
Maybe it wasn’t logical, but in my heart, I firmly believed that if he couldn’t trust me at my worst, he didn’t deserve me at my best. I refused to be shamed for loving the physical relationship we had, and now he’d destroyed both my heart and my self-esteem.
“Maybe you’re right,” I said at last. “I’ve caused enough trouble in your life, and it’s time for me to take care of myself without relying on anyone else. I’m sorry I’ve been such a burden.” I turned away, unwilling to look at him.
“Babe, you’re not a burden. I’m just afraid everything is spiraling out of control, and it can’t be good for your mental health, either.”
“My mental health is fine,” I said, hurt slowly giving way to anger. “But right now, I need a little space. I’m going for a walk.” I grabbed my coat and key card and headed for the door.
“Ariel, this can’t be how we handle things in our relationship,” he said, his voice laced with disappointment. “We have to communicate.”
“You just communicated that you wanted to take a step back with the relationship,” I called over my shoulder. “And I choose to step outside and get some air so I don’t say anything that might make you think I’m manic.” I didn’t even glance back and let the door shut behind me.
Once outside, I took some deep, cleansing breaths. One of the few things they’d taught me at the psychiatric hospital was how to breathe. Deep breathing exercises to help when I was angry, hurt, or frustrated. Right now, I was all three, so I sat on the same bench where Tyler and I had fooled around and counted to a zillion. While breathing and trying not to cry.
I should have known better than to trust a playboy rock star who could have anyone he wanted. I’d learned a long time ago not to trust anyone, and I’d let my heart and libido overrule my brain.
I was so fucking stupid. What had ever made me believe someone like Tyler Thompson could love me? Because I loved him, but in retrospect, he was just a decent human being who’d seen a wrong and thought he could right it. It had nothing to do with me, and while I still appreciated it, it hurt like a bitch.
At least now Madeline thought we had a good case to beat my father. Once we handled that, I’d be free, and I was going to go into hiding. I’d sell the house in Beverly Hills, take that money, and buy something somewhere off the beaten path. Wyoming or Montana or something. A moderate and functional estate in the middle of nowhere, where I could be alone and find some inner peace. I’d write music and live off my royalties. My dad had moved a lot of my money into his personal accounts, but I still had plenty. If I absolutely had to, I’d do one more album and tour and bank every dime. Then I’d be set.
“Hey, Ariel.” I hadn’t heard him coming so I jumped when Marcus sat beside me.
“Oh. Hi.”
“Sorry. Didn’t meant to startle you.”
“I was lost in thought.”
“Everything okay?”
I gave him a wry smile. “I guess it depends on your definition of okay. It’s been a rough few days.”
“Things are a little crazy right now,” he said gently, “but my brother really cares about you.”
“He has a funny way of showing it.” I looked up at the dark, dreary sky that was so reflective of my current mood. If I’d been looking for a sign from a greater power, this might have been as close as it got. Or it was just another wintery day in Limaj.
“Tyler’s always struggled with hard choices,” he said slowly. “I’m sure he told you about our falling out when we were teenagers.”
I nodded.
“It would have been so different if he’d just talked to me. Instead, he pulled away and avoided the whole thing.”
“Sounds familiar.” We were quiet for a few minutes, and then I glanced at him as a thought came to me. “Do you think you could help me get out of here, Marcus? I need to find a flight home and deal with my life. I love Tyler, but right now, I have to do what’s best for me—and let him do what’s best for him, too.”
“If you need to get home, the jet is leaving to take King Erik to London on business in a little while. I’m sure you can find a lot more options for flights home from London than here. There’s only one flight a day from Hiskale to New York, and it’s already left today.”
“Oh, that would be amazing. Yes.” I got to my feet. “I have to pack and tell Tyler my plans. Do I need to call Casey?”
“I’m heading up to Erik now, so I’ll ask him for you if you like? Can you be ready in an hour?”
“I can be ready in half an hour.”
“I’ll swing by your suite to pick you up in about forty-five minutes. That work for you?”
“Absolutely. Thanks so much!” I hurried back inside, determined to get back to L.A. and take control of my life. Once that was handled, I’d think about my incredibly broken heart. Until then, I couldn’t afford to give it, or Tyler, any time or energy.
31
Tyler
I went for a long walk after Ariel left. I needed to clear my head even though it hadn’t helped much. I truly didn’t know what to do about the whole situation, but when I got back to the suite, it was empty. Eerily empty. I called to Ariel, but there was no answer, and I got the strangest feeling something was wrong. Impulsively, I threw open the closet, and sure enough, her suitcase and all her clothes were gone.
Had she left?
I was so confused for a minute I didn’t know what to do. I’d been gone several hours, spending a few minutes with my brother, then chatting with several of the other Royal Protectors before going outside and wandering around the grounds. Coming back to an empty room was jarring. Had she moved into her own suite or something?
I picked up the phone and called Casey, figuring she’d know what was going on since I was too embarrassed to ask my brother.
“Hey, it’s me,” I said when she answered. “This is going to sound weird, but do you know where Ariel is?”
She hesitated. “On her way to London with Erik.”
“What?”
“You must have really fucked up for her to not even say goodbye.”
“Why would you assume I’m the one that fucked up?” I demanded, a little irritated.
“Because there’s all this shit on the news about Stu’s reputation and rumors that Special Kay is doing another tour with Lexi, so I’m guessing you got stressed out and took it out on her.”
How the fuck did she know me so well? It was really annoying sometimes.
“I thought I was being mature and rational, telling her she needed to sort out her situation while I sorted out the band. Everything that’s happening is my fault, Casey. I can’t let the band suffer because of me! They’re family, just like you.”
“Everything that’s happening is mostly Ariel’s father’s fault,” Casey said gently. “But if you want to blame anyone, blame Ariel.”
“It’s not her fault her father is a dick!” I protested.
“Really?” Casey sounded so innocent it took me a few seconds to realize she’d played me.
“So you’re saying I fucked up?”
“I’m saying you told her you had her back, no matter what happened, and now that things got hard, you want to take a break or something. Am I right?”
“Yeah.” I shifted uncomfortably, even though she couldn’t see me.
“You’ve had it easy in life,” she said softly. “I’m not saying you don’t work hard or that you’re not talented, but you got lucky when you opened for us all those years ago, and then I hand-picked you to be in Pretty Harts. You didn’t have to work at it at all, and your whole life has been that way. You have talent, looks, success, and money, so you get the attention, the notoriety, and especially the women, without having to do a damn thing. For the first time in your life, you’re going to have to work for something, Tyler. And you’re going to have to decide if you want it enough.”
“I don’t understand,” I said, scowling to myself. “Nobody’s Fool lost the Whiplash deal because of my relationship with her, and I’m trying to fix it. How am I not working for something?”
She chuckled softly. “Honey, you know I love you. You’re one of my best friends in the world—part of the family I chose—and I’d do anything for you, but you’re so caught up in yourself, you can’t see what’s going on around you.”
“Casey, I need a friend, not a therapist talking in code!” I snapped. I was so mad at myself I was taking it out on her but couldn’t seem to help it.
“You knew it was going to be rough once you went up against Douglas. Ariel told you she was worried this would impact you and the band, and you told her it was okay. But now that the shit’s hit the fan, you’re suddenly conflicted. How do you think that makes her feel?”
I didn’t respond because I had a pretty good idea. And I didn’t like it at all.
“Do you love her?”
“I don’t know! It’s been, like, six weeks.”
“And? I knew within hours that Erik and I had something special. Seems to me you and Ariel do, too.”
“So I’m supposed to be the kind of man who abandons his friends for a woman?”
“How are you abandoning your friends for her?” she demanded. “Yeah, there’s going to be some blowback, but you don’t need Whiplash. You and Bash could finance an album and a tour yourselves. You’re just lazy. You don’t want to do all the work it would take to start a band from the ground up, so now you’re mad that your girlfriend is essentially forcing you to do it.”
“I’m not mad about that!” I protested. “This is about Stu and Lexi and—”
“Have you talked to them?”
“Yeah, of course.” I paused. “Well, kind of. I talked to Stu last night and he was shit-faced so we hung up. I haven’t talked to Lexi yet, since it’s late there, but I was going to call her tonight.”
“Uh-huh. So you sacrificed a woman you care about—one who’s been counting on you, and trusted you with something really important to her—without even knowing how your friends felt about what’s going on?”
“I didn’t sacrifice her,” I yelled in frustration. “I just wanted us to take a step back to assess, so we go into this with clear heads and get a handle on her situation. She doesn’t even have a psychiatrist anymore because she doesn’t like the ones her father chooses, so there’s a lot she needs to handle. I thought this would be…” I trailed off, suddenly unsure of myself. What had I thought this would be? I had no idea what I was talking about and now I felt stupid.
“What did you think it would be?” she asked, her voice softening. “Easy? You think Erik took the easy way out when he faked his death to protect me and our unborn baby all those years ago? You think it was easy for me to forgive him when he came back? Very few things in life worth having are easy.”
I swallowed. Casey and Erik had been apart for ten years while Erik had been in exile. She’d thought he was dead, and their love was something I envied because it had endured a lot. I’d secretly hoped to someday love someone the way Erik and Casey loved each other. And now that I’d found it, I was making a big fucking mess. Because I did love Ariel, even though I didn’t want to admit it.
“So you think I fucked up.” It was more a statement than a question.
“I think you’re a great guy who’s spoiled as fuck. Born with looks and talent, you usually get everything you want. You’ve been so fucking lucky professionally, but now it’s time to buckle up because this thing with Nobody’s Fool could be a bumpy ride. And if you want Ariel, it’s going to be even bumpier.”
“Do you know where she’s going?”
“She didn’t confide her plans to me.”
“But you knew she was leaving?”
“No, I had no idea. Erik called me once they were in the air and said Ariel was on board. He didn’t pry, and she didn’t offer up any info.”
“Crap.”
“What are you going to do, Tyler?”
“The truth?” I asked miserably. “I have no fucking idea.”
I didn’t sleep at all that night. I’d tried to call Ariel around dinner time, but her phone had been turned off because it went straight to voicemail. I didn’t know if she was on a flight back to the U.S. or in London somewhere, avoiding me. I didn’t blame her, but I didn’t know what to do about it. I wanted to call the band but wasn’t sure what to say to them. I felt like the world’s biggest loser, and Casey had been right that I’d been lucky enough in life to take the easy way out of most things.
When it came time to make a decision about the military, instead of discussing it with my twin, I’d just gone on tour without looking back. Pretty Harts had taken off so fast, with so much success, I hadn’t had to worry about much of anything. I had all the women and money I’d ever need and hadn’t bothered to worry about my family, my twin, or any of the dozens of women whose hearts I’d probably broken over the years. Because it was easy.
Fuck. Had I always been a selfish bastard?
I stared at my phone for a long time before finally dialing a familiar but mostly unused number. It was the middle of the afternoon in New York, and I waited impatiently for the person on the other end to answer.
