Power Play, page 12
But I also had to be careful with how much I gave away.
It was going to be a long afternoon.
17
Harper
When Edward was alive, I loved hosting dinner parties.
I’d managed every detail from the food and drinks to the custom place cards and which set of china to use.
Doing it now, as a single woman, was different.
I’d invited four couples over, and I would be the weirdo sitting at the head of the table by myself.
It was my house, and I owned a professional fucking hockey team, so it wasn’t like I couldn’t handle it. It had just been so much nicer sharing the hosting and entertaining with someone else. I liked being part of a couple, and if that meant turning in my feminist card, so be it.
Gabe was outside swimming, and I longed to call out to him, invite him in, seek out his opinion on the menu I’d chosen, and then ask him to join us for the evening.
But I couldn’t.
This was business.
And we weren’t a couple.
Not publicly anyway.
I’d invited Dom and Molly, Henrik and Autumn, our assistant general manager Ron Lapointe and his wife Lily, and our Vice President of Hockey Operations, Gerard Macintosh and his wife Gina. These men were the ones I would be working with closely, and I wanted to get to know their wives in an effort to minimize any awkwardness. It was the twenty-first century, so I shouldn’t have had to worry about optics, but this was a male-dominated industry, and I was the only female owner in the league. I had to care about things men took for granted.
“Harper, do you want me to start the souffles while you’re still eating dinner or wait until after? They take about forty-five to fifty minutes, so it’s up to you how long after dinner you want me to serve them.”
I paused thoughtfully.
Brianna James was in culinary school here in L.A. and when I’d discovered my usual chef had been unavailable for tonight’s party, Molly had recommended her. Ironically, Brianna was married to the drummer for Nobody’s Fool, Declan James, and we’d chatted about the show when she’d first arrived.
“Make them while we’re eating,” I said. “I think an hour is a long time to wait for dessert. And they’ll need a little time to cool down, right?”
“Depending on how hot you want to eat them.” She grinned at me from where she was cutting up cheese for one of the appetizers.
“Right.” I glanced outside at Gabe again, still itching to invite him, but battling with myself over the decision.
“He’s very nice to look at,” Brianna commented, following my gaze.
“My ex-husband slash current tenant slash starting goalie for the team.”
“Oh.” Her eyes rounded. “That’s not at all complicated.”
“Not even a little.” I smiled wryly. “I really want to invite him tonight, but it’s too complicated. I can’t invite him without inviting any other players on the team, and if I do, then people would wonder…” I let my voice trail because I didn’t want to get into our current baby-making situation.
“Are you involved?” she asked.
I made a face. “Did I mention it’s complicated?”
She laughed. “That’s what people who are involved say when they don’t want to admit they’re catching feelings. No judgment on my part.”
“We’re…talking again,” I said at last.
“But are there still feelings?”
“There were always feelings,” I admitted, leaning against the island. “We just had trouble with communication, trust, and our vision for the future.”
“Is that all?” She shook her head. “Some relationships aren’t meant to be, no matter how much you care about that person.”
“Tell me about it.” Until I had a better idea what was happening between us, I had to be careful what I said about Gabe and me.
We’d agreed to exclusivity, but that wasn’t the same as being a couple.
Falling in love.
Of course, there was no way for me to fall in love with him because I’d never stopped. Not really.
“I have to get in the shower,” I told Brianna. “If you need anything, just text me. I’ll keep an eye on my phone.”
“I’ll be here.” She smiled and went back to what she was doing.
After my shower, I dried my hair, put on makeup, and dressed in casual cream-colored linen pants, a sleeveless, button-down linen top in a rich jade color, and matching jade kitten heels. I was aiming for casual but elegant and I’d just turned to go back to the kitchen when a deep voice startled me.
“You look beautiful.”
“Gabe.” I whirled, my heart racing. “Thank you.”
“You look like you’re having a party,” he said lightly.
Shit.
This was the problem with him living on the property.
“Uh, well, a business dinner. Some of the executive staff from the Phantoms. Henrik, Dom, Gerard, and Ron, along with their wives. Kind of a get-to-know-you thing.”
He nodded slowly. “I see.”
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I would have invited you to join us but that would just open up the door for a lot of questions I’m not prepared to answer.”
“Yeah, of course. I understand.” He shrugged, though his face was tight.
Shit.
He was mad, but what else could I do? There was too much at risk for us to simply announce we were dating. Unless and until we got serious, things had to stay under wraps. The hockey world had enough to say about me; I didn’t need them to jump on my personal life too.
“Are you mad?” I asked, though I wanted to smack myself the moment the words were out of my mouth.
“No.” He looked me up and down slowly. “Anyway, you really do look beautiful. Have a good night.”
Without another word, he disappeared down the hall, leaving me completely discombobulated. I didn’t know why he’d come in, and I wanted to remind him about rules and boundaries but couldn’t remember if I’d actually told him not to come in unannounced.
This was such a clusterfuck.
I grabbed my phone off the bed and hurried after him. I didn’t know what I was going to say but it felt weird leaving it this way. He was already halfway across the patio when I got to the sliding glass doors by the kitchen and I hesitated as I watched him go into the guest house, closing the door without looking back.
Things were always like this with us.
He was complicated and exciting, sexy and broody, and probably as high maintenance as I was, just in different ways.
We were still like oil and water.
And I still wanted him so much it hurt.
I didn’t need him, but I fucking wanted him.
That had always been the issue.
Ten years, another marriage, and practically a lifetime of experience hadn’t changed that aspect to our relationship. And it pissed me off that he still had that much of a hold on me.
It didn’t help that I’d started sleeping with him, but that was separate.
And maybe if I told myself that a million more times, I’d believe it.
“You okay?” Brianna asked me, her eyes meeting mine. “Your tenant blew out of here at top speed.”
“Yeah. I think he’s mad at me.”
She grimaced. “Well, either way, I think your first guests are here.”
“Right.” I smoothed my hands down my pants and then walked to the front door to greet Dom and Molly.
Henrik and Autumn were right behind them, and I could see Gerard’s Corvette pulling up to the gate.
I firmly pushed Gabe to the back of my mind as I greeted my guests and was soon caught up in the fun of my dinner party.
Autumn was young, probably only in her mid-twenties to Henrik’s early forties, but they seemed like a wonderful couple. In a way, they reminded me of Edward and me when we’d first met. She appeared completely smitten and he doted on her, even as he kept up with the conversation and ate his dinner.
Dom and Molly made me miss being in a couple all over again. Dom obviously adored his wife, and it was mutual. She was a decade or so older than him, which I hadn’t known until tonight, but they had the type of relationship I wanted to have again. Happy. Loving. Comfortable.
Gerard and Gina were older, at sixty and fifty-nine, with adult children and a new grandchild, so listening to them made me want a baby even more. I could picture myself thirty years in the future with a couple of grandkids playing in the pool while my family gathered for Sunday dinner. My kids probably wouldn’t have grandparents, especially not if Gabe and I procreated, but they’d have more than enough love to make up for it.
Not to mention aunties and uncles like Sloane and Ivan.
Was I a sap or what?
Ron and Lily were harder to read. She was quiet, obviously used to taking a back seat to her husband and letting him run any conversation or questions directed at them. Even when I asked her something specifically. That was definitely not the type of relationship I wanted, but maybe it worked for them. They’d been married a long time, from what they said.
“Do you need anything else from me?” Brianna asked me at a little after nine, when dessert had been served and the kitchen cleaned up.
“No, you should go,” I told her. “Thank you. Everything was perfect. I’ll be calling you again.”
“Thank you.” She smiled. “I appreciate that. Declan keeps pushing me to start my own restaurant, but I don’t want to be tied down to one place like that. I think doing jobs like this is more conducive to our lifestyle. Especially once he goes back out on tour.”
“Well, keep me in the loop. Whatever you do, I’ll be there for it.”
“Thank you. Good night.” She gathered her things and left through the garage, and I wandered back into the living room where everyone was enjoying after-dinner drinks.
“Do you have a tenant?” Gina asked. “I thought I saw lights on at the little house out back.”
“Oh.” My cheeks may have turned red but hopefully no one noticed in this lighting. “Yes. I do. He’s only been here a few weeks.”
“Are you comfortable with that?” Lily asked, speaking up for the first time. “I don’t know if I’d like to have a man living on the premises of my home. As a single woman.”
“Well, he’s my ex-husband,” I said lightly. “And he plays on the team. So I think I’m safe with him.”
“Your ex?” Gerard gazed at me. “Are you talking about DeLugo?”
“Yes.” I figured it was better to get it out in the open. “He’s living in my guest house for this season.”
“Well, now we know why you brought a guy his age to the team.” Ron lifted his glass but didn’t say anything else.
Asshole.
I hadn’t been sure if I wanted to keep him or replace him but now, I was leaning toward the latter.
“I brought him here because he’s an elite goalie,” I said, giving him a pointed look. “He has the experience to lift morale in the locker room, which we desperately need, and he’s been around enough to keep the team in line should things get rocky as we make the personnel changes that are coming. My personal relationship with him had nothing to do with my decision.”
“And as far as roommates go,” Henrik put in when Ron didn’t respond, “he’ll be on the road a lot, so you’ll barely see him.”
“Exactly,” I said, glancing back at Ron, who definitely looked annoyed.
“You don’t think it’s going to cause gossip once word gets out?” Gerard asked.
“Because there isn’t already gossip?” I countered. “I’ve probably been locker room gossip since the day Edward died.”
“They’re going to sue you again,” Ron said, leaning back in his chair. “You know that, right?”
I sighed. “The judge literally told them to stop wasting the court’s time.”
“If you do even the slightest thing wrong, they’ll either appeal the ruling or they’ll report you to the league,” Ron continued. “I played golf with Tim last week and he was in no way ready to back down.”
Frustration manifested itself as a shot of white-hot anger racing through my veins and I had to mentally count to ten before responding.
“Why were you golfing with Tim?” I finally asked.
He turned to me with a guileless, wide-eyed stare. “Because we’re friends.”
“You don’t think that’s a conflict of interest?” I asked in a steely voice.
“I’ve known him since he was a kid; I’ve only known you a couple of years. I respect your position and our working relationship but that doesn’t negate years of friendship with him.”
Well, first thing tomorrow, I was going to have to start searching for a new assistant general manager.
And I didn’t relish the thought.
18
Gabe
I didn’t see Harper for a couple of days. She seemed busy, leaving early in the morning and not coming back until late, and I was still a little annoyed about the other night. It was entirely irrational to be mad about not being invited, I knew that, but it bothered me because I could have offered helpful insight to any discussions about the Phantoms.
I’d been in the league a long time and potentially had a lot to offer any conversations about the upcoming season.
But that hadn’t been the purpose of the gathering.
She was building relationships with these people, and their wives, hoping to potentially have allies once the season started. On top of that, no other players had been invited, so it would have been odd for me to be there.
I knew that and understood why she was doing it.
So why did it piss me off so much to have been left out?
If I was honest, it was because I didn’t like feeling as if I were some kind of dirty little secret in her life. We were still figuring things out, but I was already part of the hockey world, and it wouldn’t take long for people to notice there was more to us than roommates and exes.
How much more remained to be seen.
We’d discussed trying again, but then promptly had that argument about the dinner party, so I hadn’t even talked to her since then.
And I had so many questions.
Was it going to be nothing but good sex until it burned itself out or the start of something new?
A continuation of where we’d left off?
When she’d divorced me, a big part of it was because she thought I’d cheated, but it had also been because she’d lost faith in me, and that had hurt me more than I’d realized until recently.
This time around I wanted things to be different.
This time around.
Was there a this time?
It felt like we were already falling into our old patterns and that wasn’t going to cut it.
As difficult as it was to admit, I still loved her.
I’d always loved her and had two subsequent divorces under my belt to prove it.
I needed to talk to her before I drove myself crazy, so I wandered over to the sliding glass doors just before noon on Sunday.
To my surprise, she was standing there, her hand on the handle, as if she’d been about to come out.
“Hey,” I said.
“I was just coming over to talk to you,” she said at the same time.
“Good timing, I guess.” I stood there, waiting for an invitation inside.
“You hungry?” she asked after a moment, stepping aside.
“No, I’m good.” I paused. “So, uh, what’s up?”
“I wanted to talk about the other night. And apologize.”
“You don’t owe me anything,” I said gruffly.
Now that she’d apologized, I felt kind of stupid.
Needy.
She could have dinner parties without me.
It was ridiculous for me to be mad about this.
We might be working on things, but we weren’t officially a couple yet.
“I don’t know what we’re doing,” she said finally. “But I don’t want to do what we’ve always done, which is fight and make up.”
“I was thinking that earlier,” I admitted.
“It feels like a lot of the same, and I just don’t have it in me for you to break my heart again.” She looked at me and then, to my surprise, reached out her hand.
And waited.
For me to take it.
So I did.
“Gabe, everything is so complicated,” she whispered when our hands were linked.
“That’s kind of our thing, isn’t it?”
“I don’t want our regular thing to be our thing going forward,” she said firmly. “If we’re going to try again, and more so if we wind up raising a baby together, I don’t want to fight and argue all the time. I want our baby to see love and respect, even if it’s not romantic love. It can be friend love. Chosen family love. Whatever we want it to be. But not angry or resentful love. That would suck for all of us.”
“It would,” I agreed.
“I have so much negativity and adversity in my life right now, I can’t add anything else. We’ve decided to start dating again, but we don’t have to if you think it’ll be too stressful.”
“I don’t think that at all, but I do feel like we need to be more specific in defining our parameters going forward.”
“Can we start over? Get to know each other again? Try to build something from scratch?”
“That’s the definition of dating. I mean, getting to know each other, becoming friends, and making love. We can’t discount the sexual part because it’s so intense between us. We feel shit when we’re together like that. Even an asshole like me has emotions. Just, you know, buried real deep.”
She gave me a slight shake of her head. “You’re not an asshole. Not all the time anyway.”
I chuckled. “Thanks.”
“So… are you going to officially ask me out?”
“If that’s what you want, yes.”
“That’s what I need. I need to fall in love with you all over again, Gabe. We can’t fall back on the love we had before. If it’s going to happen, it has to be new love for a fresh start.”
