Second to None, page 3
He shrugged with a twitch in his jaw. “She’s calling his parents.”
“Wow. She cares so much.”
Dad wouldn’t have even asked who was going to be there or what time I’d be back or if there were parents. The weekend before coming here, I’d gone to a house party. I’d gotten high with some random dudes I’d met at the basketball game and people were giving blow jobs in the bathroom.
He snorted. “Too much. It’s just a movie.”
“Must be nice,” I muttered.
“I promise, it just sucks.”
“If you say so.”
We’d gotten home from the beach a few hours ago as the temperatures dropped. Marley and Lila had to be at the dance studio for competition prep all night. They’d be there late, and I wanted nothing less than to go to my mother’s house. When Philip had invited us to come to his house and watch the latest movie release he’d rented, I’d jumped at the opportunity before thinking about whether or not Gran would even let us out of the house.
A few minutes later, Gran called Maddox down the stairs.
Then, Maddox stuck his head in the stairway. He gave me a thumbs-up. I jumped to my feet and trotted down the stairs after him. We waved good-bye to Gran, hurried into his truck, and pulled away.
“I can’t believe she let us go,” Maddox said. “I thought she’d stop us.”
“Me too. It’s kind of exciting. Back home, no one gives a shit where I am or what I’m doing.”
Maddox frowned. “Your dad probably cares.”
I shook my head. “He’s too busy at the art studio. Sometimes he forgets he has a daughter.”
“That’s sad.”
“It’s whatever,” I said dismissively. “So, what are we actually doing at Philip’s house? Did someone pick up some weed, or should we use my fake to get some beer?”
Maddox did a double take. “Uh … we’re going to watch a movie.”
I blinked at him. “Seriously? Like … actually watch a movie?”
He laughed. “Uh, yeah. What kind of parties are you going to in Atlanta?”
My cheeks heated. “The wrong kind.”
Maddox parked in Philip’s driveway, where a handful of other cars were already parked on the street. I slid out of the truck and followed him around back to the basement door. Maddox pushed his way inside, and we took the stairs down to a dark game room, filled with old couches, a projection TV, and tons of board games.
“You made it,” Philip said, shaking hands with Maddox. “And you brought Josie.”
I winked at him. “He couldn’t have left without me.”
“Of that I’m sure. Let me introduce you around.”
There were about a dozen people already crowded around the couches or digging through a mini fridge. I recognized some of the guys from the beach and was glad to see a few girls were also there. I accepted a Coke from Philip and took a seat on the last open couch. Maddox dropped down next to me with a Dr. Pepper in hand.
“All the movies out this month were shit,” Philip said as he slid a DVD into the player. “But the new Natalie Portman stripper movie just came out.”
I rolled my eyes. “Typical. It’s called Closer, and it’s a goddamn masterpiece.”
“It was nominated for two Oscars,” Maddox said.
“Right. Natalie Portman and Clive Owen put on the most incredible performance.”
“And the way it’s shot,” Maddox added. “I saw some of the clips, and it’s visually perfect.”
“They were robbed.”
“Can we not with the film bullshit, Mad Son?” Philip said.
I glanced at him in confusion. “Mad Son?”
Maddox sighed. “Maddox Nelson. Mad from my first name and Son from my last name. It’s just what he calls me.”
“Ridiculous.”
“It’s the best!” Philip said. “Now shut up.”
Then he pressed play on the movie.
I’d seen Closer opening weekend. I’d bought a ticket to see National Treasure and then slipped into Closer to experience the rated-R film. It had enraptured me. The four people who moved in and out of each other’s lives, wrecking everything in their path in the need for love. Somehow, I felt connected to that. Like I could understand the extremes they’d go to feel something.
The last light was flicked off, and Natalie Portman walked onto the screen. I leaned back in my seat, hypnotized all over again. But watching it with Maddox seated next to me was a whole new experience. His hip was pressed tight against mine. Our shoulders touched. Heat radiated off our bodies. I chanced a glance up at him and found he was already staring down at me.
He startled and hastily dragged his eyes back to the screen. I flushed and looked away too. It didn’t matter that I dated a lot back home. It was different with him.
Halfway through the movie, the rest of the couples were all making out. Philip was making some rude comments about Natalie’s infamous stripper performance. Maddox rolled his eyes and adjusted his seat, which somehow put us even closer together.
Then, I looked up at him again. He flushed but didn’t look away.
“What?” I whispered.
“I like you like this.”
I arched an eyebrow. “How?”
“Passionate. I know how much you love films.”
And I did. My dad had gotten me a collection of black-and-white movies, and I watched them until I could quote them backward and forward. I might have been a drama queen, but it was because I’d been born in the wrong era. I should have been a black-and-white star. I still couldn’t get over the desperate feeling I'd gotten the first time I saw Casablanca or the thrill of seeing myself in A Letter to Three Wives.
“I do,” I finally said.
Then, Maddox’s hand covered mine, where it lay against my thigh. My stomach flipped as sparks shot up my arm at that one touch. When I didn’t immediately pull away, he turned my hand over in his and drew circles into my palm before threading our fingers together.
A shiver went through me at the contact. And I could see how much he wanted to kiss me. I could let him. But I’d promised Marley that I wouldn’t break her brother’s heart. I should show him that I wasn’t interested, but I didn’t want to stop either even though I knew it couldn’t work when I was four hours away.
So when he slipped an arm around my shoulders, I fit my body against him, laying my head against his chest. His other hand went to my knee. I wasn’t used to guys who went this slow either. Guys back home would have had that hand up my skirt and tried to drag me out of the party a minute later.
Maddox was slow. This meant something to him. And it made butterflies erupt in my stomach. I’d never felt this way when I was with anyone else. I’d always gone along with things because the guy was hot, and why not? It hadn’t occurred to me to care whether or not I could fall in love with them.
I was realizing how stupid all of that had been.
Was this what it was supposed to feel like?
The thought scared me. Maddox was here. I was in Atlanta. I’d be back in the summer, but that wasn’t how relationships worked, and there was Marley to contend with.
Suddenly, I couldn’t concentrate on one of my favorite movies anymore. All I could hear was Maddox’s rapid heart rate in my ear. And how good it felt to be in his arms. And how much I needed to stop this from going any further.
When the movie finished, I got to my feet and retreated to the bathroom to calm my own racing pulse. Maddox waited for me at the basement door, and after saying our good-byes and receiving a knowing look from Philip, we got back into his truck.
He didn’t start the truck immediately. He just sat there, clearly trying to work up the right words to say.
“That was fun. Different than what I’m used to at home.”
“I had fun too.” His dark eyes were set on my face. “With you.”
His hand found mine in the dark. He drew me closer against him. I swallowed. My heart was pounding. I shouldn’t do this. I couldn’t give him what he wanted.
“Josie,” he whispered into the night.
And I knew exactly what he wanted with that look. I could see every single thing he was thinking. It would be so easy to give in to that. To lean forward and press my lips against his. But where exactly was this going? We were sixteen, and he was four hours away. And no matter what my body wanted, Maddox wasn’t the kind of guy I could have a fling with.
“We should probably get home,” I said, scooting back before he could go through with that kiss. “Marley will be home soon.”
Hurt flashed across his features. “Right. Sure.” He started his truck and pulled out of Philip’s driveway.
He didn’t say anything when we got back to Gran’s. Just shot me one more look, filled with longing that I had to ignore. Pretending I want that kiss was one of the hardest things I’d ever done.
I half-expected him to drag me to him and steal the kiss he wanted. But Maddox wasn’t that kind of guy. He didn’t steal what didn’t belong to him. He had no clue that I would be more than willing to go along with it. Years of friendship stayed his hand.
Marley looked between us distrustfully. It wasn’t until we were up in her room with the lights off that she asked, “Did you and Maddox hook up?”
“No,” I said quickly.
“Did he try?”
I hesitated. “No.”
“I’m shocked. Be careful with him, okay? You know he’s in love with you.”
I hid my secret smile. “Yeah, I’ll be careful.”
She didn’t say anything else, but I spent way too long awake, imagining what it would be like to kiss someone who was actually in love with me.
5
SAVANNAH
SEPTEMBER 1, 2007
“Man, it’s too busy to be at the beach.”
Two years after that hope-filled spring break, I flopped backward on the towel and brought my wide-brimmed hat over my face. It made it so I couldn’t see the hundreds of people that had congregated on Tybee Island, but it did nothing to block the noise. The beach was my happy place, and they were ruining it.
“Words I never thought I’d hear out of your mouth,” Maddox said.
“I don’t like it when it’s this busy.”
We’d spent all summer with Lila and Marley at the beach. But they were safely away at their respective colleges. It was just me and Maddox left behind. We wouldn’t start at Savannah College of Art and Design until next week. And Labor Day on Tybee was packed.
Maddox chuckled. “You love people, Jos.”
“True. But tourists,” I groused.
“Fuck tourists.”
I smirked and pushed back my hat to catch a glimpse of him in a beach chair with his sketchbook balanced on one knee. Charcoal darkened his fingertips, and his eyes were intent on the page. Sometimes glancing up at our surroundings before dropping back down.
“What are you working on today?”
He caught my look, and his cheeks flushed. “Nothing.”
“Your fingers are dipped in black. That’s not nothing.”
He shrugged. “It sort of sucks.”
But when he flipped the page, it was far from nothing, and it definitely did not suck. It was a perfect rendering of me lying on the towel. One leg propped up, the other flat, the line of my exposed stomach, the curve of my shoulder. Even the hat obscuring my face. The background empty of tourists. Waves crashing in deceptively close.
My breath hitched. “Wow, Maddox. That’s incredible.”
“Nah, it’s nothing. Just brushing up on my skills before I get into drawing classes this semester.”
When I’d gotten into SCAD, I’d sat on the floor of my kitchen and sobbed with relief. There were great film programs all over the country, but I’d wanted SCAD more than anything. I called Marley to let her know, and Maddox was in the room. He’d gotten his acceptance letter the same day. With a full scholarship, of course. Dad had gone apoplectic at the price of tuition to an art private school for me, but I was lucky that my mother had agreed to pay for my education. Not that it made Dad any happier. We’d been living off of my mother’s child support checks long enough. I knew Dad wished that he could support us more fully. That we didn’t have to rely on Mom. But my shitty grades hadn’t gotten me a full ride anywhere.
“You’re probably already way ahead of everyone anyway.”
Maddox shrugged. Eternally modest. “Maybe.”
“You took visual effects classes at SCAD the last two semesters,” I said with a shake of my head.
“Not for credit,” he mumbled. I flung my hat at him. He caught it with a laugh. “What?”
“You need some of your sister’s confidence.”
“Ah, you think I should walk around and tell everyone that I’m smarter than them?”
“Sometimes!”
Maddox shut the sketchbook and tossed it back into his bag, dropping the charcoal at the bottom. “It doesn’t make me any better than anyone else. And I’m not trying to cure an incurable disease, like Mars.”
“No, but I bet you’re going to do just as much in whatever pursuit you put your mind to,” I argued. “You got a perfect SAT and ACT score. You could have gone wherever you wanted and cured diseases too.” He wrinkled his nose. “Exactly. That’s not what you want. It’s not what I want either.”
“You need to pass your science classes to do that, Jos.”
I smacked his leg. “Hey! I passed.”
With a C, but it was a pass. Math and science were not my forte. Debate? I’d been awesome at that. And drama? So much better than numbers.
He snorted. “Come on. Let’s get out of here. If you’re done, then I’m craving some Leopold’s.”
I grinned broadly. “Now you’re speaking my language.”
After throwing everything in my bag and tossing my towel over my shoulder, I followed Maddox to his truck. We put everything in the backseat, and then Maddox opened my door for me. I slid against the hot brown leather, hissing as the heated seat burned my bare skin.
“Sorry. Sorry.” Maddox dropped a towel across the seat. I slid it under my butt and sank back down.
“Damn, that is on fire.”
“Yeah. Summers and leather do not go together.”
Maddox got into the driver’s side, rolled the windows down, and headed back toward Savannah. I leaned my head out the window, letting the wind cool the sweat off my skin. Maddox’s air-conditioning was intermittent at best. We could have taken my BMW, but there had been a crime spree the last couple weeks, and Maddox had said no one would break into his junker.
I cut a glance at him. He’d grown a handful of inches since the year before. Now, he was easily over six feet tall. His curls were wind-whipped, and those dark eyes were intent on the road ahead. He’d tugged a heather-gray T-shirt over his muscular torso, but I’d gotten my fill all afternoon.
Maddox and I had danced around this thing between us since that night over spring break. Marley had made her thoughts about it clear. So I’d always stayed away, but I knew that Maddox still had feelings for me. He was much worse at hiding it than I was.
“What are you looking at?” he asked, sliding his eyes to mine with an arched eyebrow.
I winked at him. “I like that shirt.”
His throat bobbed. “It’s just a T-shirt.”
“Yeah, but it shows off your muscles.”
He shot me a disbelieving look. “My muscles?”
I wrapped a hand around his bicep. “Have you been working out?”
Maddox huffed. “You’re a relentless flirt.”
“Obviously.”
“You know you don’t have to do that with me.”
I jerked backward in my seat. Maddox knew as well as I did that the flirting was more a defense mechanism than anything. When I really liked someone, the bravado fell away, and I was just me. It was what had happened senior year with my first real boyfriend, Brandt. But he got to know the real Josie under the over-the-top behavior and promptly ditched me for someone else. Except he hadn’t told me before getting high and sleeping with some strange girl at a party. Someone had recorded it or else I wouldn’t have even known. I’d put up even more barriers after that.
“Just … sort of happens,” I muttered, looking out across the marsh as we crossed through Whitemarsh Island and back toward home.
Maddox didn’t say anything else as we moved into downtown. I cursed when I saw the line to Leopold’s.
“Holidays,” Maddox grumbled. “Hop out, and I’ll park.”
I grabbed my wallet, stuffing it into the back pocket of my shorts, before jumping out of the truck and getting into line. It was going to be at least an hour wait. We could probably give up and find something else, but Leopold’s was the best in town.
Twenty minutes later, I found Maddox scouring the line. I waved at him, and he took the spot next to me.
“Parking was a nightmare.”
“When isn’t it?”
When we finally got to the front of the line, Maddox pulled the door open for me. I sighed in relief at the air-conditioning.
Maddox rested his hand on the small of my back. “What’ll you have?”
It was the small things with Maddox.
The look that said he knew exactly who I was. The smirk on his lips when I got him to loosen up. The Southern gentleman in him that opened my doors and walked on the outside of the sidewalk and offered me his coat when I was cold. Guys were just not raised like this in Atlanta.
“I’ll have a Savannah Socialite.”
Maddox shook his head. “Of course you will.”
It was my mother who was the Savannah socialite, but the ice cream was to die for. Milk and dark chocolate ice cream with roasted pecans and bourbon caramel.
“I’ll take a banana split,” Maddox ordered.
I took my cone and stepped down to the end of the line to pay, but Maddox was already there, handing over some cash and dropping a tip into the jar.
“You didn’t have to pay.” Even if I was secretly happy.
“I’ve been working a lot.”
He took his banana split, and we walked back into the heat. There weren’t seats in front of the ice cream shop. So, we turned north toward Reynolds Square. We dropped onto a bench under the Spanish moss. Despite the thousands of tourists in the city this weekend, the squares always felt like I’d been transported back in time to when Savannah was first constructed on a grid system.
