Second to None, page 16
I hadn’t even considered what would happen if someone recognized me. It would be shitty if this got back to the press. Risky, but worth it as far as I was concerned.
“Jos,” he ground out. “I’m close.”
“So fucking close,” I agreed. “Make me come.”
He groaned, picking up the pace. Sweat beaded on my brow from the Atlanta summer and the exertion. I saw stars as my orgasm went from zero to a hundred. As if he’d flipped on a light switch.
I muffled my cry as it hit me in a wave. He grunted and tightened his grip on my hips hard enough to bruise as he came inside of me.
We both stilled, breathing hard. Our eyes locked, and I saw nothing but love in those dark irises. He would find nothing but that mirrored in my own green orbs. I wanted to tell him. It might have been reckless, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
But then he withdrew, and the moment broke.
I dropped down onto my heels. The banging on the door intensified.
Maddox chuckled. “Guess there’s a line.”
“Whoops.”
We cleaned up, and I ducked my head as we left, hoping no one noticed who I was. We made a mini walk of shame as we headed back to our friends. Lila gave me a very knowing look and giggled.
She gestured to my lips. “You’ve got a little …” She wiped away the lipstick that must have been smudged.
“Thanks,” I said with a laugh.
“Good thing Marley is getting drinks.”
“Well, don’t tell her it was the best of my life then.”
Lila put her hand out, and we high-fived. Then, I fell back into Maddox’s arms.
“Who knew you were so dirty?” I said, drawing his mouth down to mine.
“Guess you bring it out in me.” He brushed his nose along my earlobe. “Didn’t exactly hear you complaining.”
“Oh, no. No complaints from me.”
“Good, because I think we’re going to need to do that a couple times tonight.”
I smirked up at him. “You read my mind.”
Derek and Marley returned a minute later with a round of champagne. Everyone held their glasses aloft and toasted Cole and Lila. I was happy that my friends were happy, but I was glad that I was finally getting my own happily ever after.
PART IV
24
SAVANNAH
MARCH 11, 2013
If one more person spoke to me, I was going to combust. Everyone thought that since Martin and I had gotten married less than three months earlier, I wanted to be with him all the time.
We’d come back to Atlanta after our spontaneous Bora Bora honeymoon, and suddenly, my trailer had disappeared. I’d fought tooth and nail for my own fucking space. I was the star of the show after all. Then, someone had even written Josephine Harper on all of my scripts and paperwork. I’d blown a gasket. I was married. I wasn’t a different person. And I certainly wasn’t changing my name. The internalized misogyny was driving me batshit crazy.
I slammed the door on my brand-new Josephine Reynolds trailer. Martin had laughed on set when I had to correct another person about my name. He’d laughed. Even though he knew I was pissed. I’d had enough of him today.
We’d had a beautiful wedding and a dream honeymoon. It hadn’t been what I’d planned, but I’d enjoyed every minute of it. Now that reality was crashing back in, it was a whole new world.
I snatched my phone off of the charger and slouched back into the couch, but then I stilled when I saw the missed call.
“Maddox?” I whispered in shock.
I hadn’t heard a single thing from him since he’d hung up on me before Christmas. Not that I blamed him. He was right. I shouldn’t have started anything with him before breaking it off with Martin, and it was terrible optics that I’d gotten engaged. I was in the wrong. Not that he’d let me get that out. Now, I was married. Why the hell would he reach out?
But I didn’t stop and think before dialing him back.
He answered almost instantly. “Josie.”
I stilled. He sounded … sad. Like he’d been crying.
“Maddox, are you okay? I got your missed call.”
“Gramps is dead.”
I gasped. My hand went to my mouth, and tears came to my eyes. Gramps hadn’t been doing well the last couple years. He’d been in a home for dementia, but I hadn’t heard that it was this bad.
“Oh my God, Maddox, I’m so sorry. He was a wonderful man. I loved him too.”
“I don’t know why I called you,” he admitted.
“Because … I’m your person,” I whispered.
He sighed. “Yeah. I don’t know. Mars is probably going to call you too. I could have let her.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.”
“Yeah,” he said, sounding utterly dejected. “I didn’t know what else to do. I have a fucking girlfriend, and the first thing I did when I found out was call you.”
I winced at the word girlfriend. I had no right. None at all. But I couldn’t stop the feeling of disgust when I heard it.
“It’s okay. You’re allowed to feel how you feel.”
“I don’t know how I feel.”
“Heartbroken,” I whispered.
“Fuck, I should go.”
“Hey,” I said softly, consolingly. “Do you need me to come into town? I’m in Atlanta. I could drive down there.”
“Don’t you have work?”
“Gramps was family. I can get out of it.”
“No, you should stay.”
“Maddox,” I growled. “You called me for a reason.”
“Yeah … yeah.” He sighed. “Yeah, okay.”
“I’ll be there in four hours.”
I wasted no time, letting everyone know that I had to leave. Production looked pissed, but when I told them I had a death in the family, there was nothing they could say.
“Babe,” Martin said. “Do you want me to come with you?”
“Uh, no. You know, you should stay here. I need to deal with this.”
Martin touched my arm. I could see that he didn’t really want to drive down to Savannah for this, but he was being supportive. So, I relented and let him pull me into a quick hug.
“I’ll text you when I get there,” I promised my husband.
He pressed a kiss to my lips and then let me go. Little did he know.
A twinge of regret ran through me. I could have told him the truth. I could have let him come with me. I could have done a million things, but I didn’t. I got into my new black Mercedes and drove the four hours to Savannah.
Maddox needed me.
Lila opened the door when I arrived. She and Maddox had been living together since August when she started at physical therapy school. Two dogs barked and ran in circles when they saw me standing in the doorway.
Maddox’s shih tzu, Walt, nipped at my ankles while Lila’s puppy, Sunny, had the zoomies. I dropped down to pet and quiet them both before standing up again before my friend and pulling her into a hug.
“Hey,” I said. “How are you doing?”
“Sad. Maddox hasn’t come out of his room. I talked to Mars. She’s flying down for the funeral.”
“Good.”
I stepped inside and found Ash Talmadge standing there. It felt like an intrusion. He and Lila had started dating again in December. I wanted to be happy for her, but I’d never forgiven him for hurting her. I was crazy loyal to my friends even if I let myself get hurt.
“James,” I said dryly.
“Josephine,” he threw back.
“Be nice,” Lila said with a sad smile as she slid into his arms.
“I’m always nice.” Ash brushed a kiss into her hair. He looked … besotted. Like he’d won the lottery to have her in his life again. He’d better fucking act like it forever because he’d never get this chance again as far as I was concerned.
“I’m going to go see Maddox.”
Lila bit her lip. “Does … Martin know you’re here?”
“Yeah.”
“Does he know why?”
“A death in the family,” I offered.
Lila hugged me again. “Be careful,” she whispered.
I didn’t need the warning. I knew why I was here. I didn’t have any illusion that Maddox and I would reconcile. Not after I’d married someone else.
I knocked twice on Maddox’s door and then stepped into the darkened room. “Hey.”
Maddox was on his back on the bed. He was shirtless, in nothing but boxers, as he stared blankly up at the ceiling. “Hey.”
I kicked off my shoes and dropped my jacket. “How are you doing?”
“The same as I was four hours ago.”
“Can I …” I gestured to the bed.
His eyes slid to mine then. They were red-rimmed. He and Gramps had always been close. Gramps had supported his art, even when Gran was a little too hard on him for not caring about academics. Gramps had encouraged him to get the SCAD scholarship. He’d been there through all the ups and downs. I couldn’t imagine how Maddox felt to lose him.
When he didn’t say no, I slipped onto the bed next to him. I reached out and took his hand in mine. He sighed and then laced our fingers together. His eyes closed at the contact, and I tried to slow my heart rate. I was here for him. This wasn’t sexual. I wasn’t going to do anything stupid. But sometimes, it was really fucking hard to suppress the way I felt about him.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he finally said.
I scooted closer until our shoulders were touching. My eyes were still on his face. “I’m glad you let me come.”
Then, he shifted his arm out to the side and offered me the space against his side. I scooted in, resting my head against his chest, my arm draping across his waist. His fingers moved through my dark hair.
I had no idea how long we lay like that. Just holding each other through the worst of the pain. At some point, I made him get up and eat something. Then, we returned to his bedroom, wrapped up like a cocoon under the covers.
At some point, he rolled me over and pulled my back to his chest. I fit against him as if I’d been made for it. His arms were around my body, holding me tight. Even though what had happened was terrible, I felt closer to him than ever. At some point in the night, he started whispering to me, telling me all the stories he could remember about Gramps.
We must have fallen asleep in each other’s arms because I woke the next morning to sunlight streaming in through the windows. Maddox still held me tight to his chest.
An urgent knock on the bedroom door made him jerk upright. “What?”
“Maddox, Teena is at the door,” Lila said.
“Fuck,” Maddox said, scrambling out of bed.
My eyes were wide as I realized who Teena must be—the girlfriend. Not good.
His eyes jerked to mine. “I …”
“You don’t have to explain,” I said quickly. “Go see her.”
He nodded, tugged on shorts and a T-shirt, and hurried out of the room. I made sure to grab anything I’d left in his room and dashed across the hall into the bathroom. I felt fifteen again, sneaking around to hide out from parents. Though Maddox and I had done nothing wrong, it certainly wasn’t platonic and hadn’t been in years.
It was twenty minutes later when Maddox knocked on the bathroom door. “Jos?”
I cracked the door. “Your girlfriend?”
He nodded, hanging his head. “I shouldn’t have told you to come here.”
“Yeah,” I whispered.
“Besides my girlfriend … you’re married.”
“I know.”
“I shouldn’t want to see you anymore.”
Shouldn’t wasn’t don’t, and we both knew it.
Our eyes finally met. I could see the pain was still there. Maybe it would always be there. Gramps was more a father to him than the dad he’d never met. But something had lessened since I’d shown up, and I couldn’t regret driving down here to see him if that was true.
“You should … you should probably go.”
“But the funeral.”
He swallowed, and then his eyes hardened. “I don’t think you should come to the funeral.”
My stomach dropped. Gramps had helped raise me too. I’d stayed at their house over the years almost as much as my mother’s. It hurt to think I couldn’t be there. But if I’d been honest with Martin from the start … Maddox and I could have been together right now, and there would have been no explanations. These were the consequences of my own actions.
I swiped at the tear that streaked down my cheek. “Okay. If that’s what you want.”
He opened his mouth like he was going to deny it but then snapped it shut.
I stepped forward and drew him into a hug. After a second, he relented and wrapped his arms around me. I knew this was good-bye. And as much as I hated saying it, I was lucky to even get this moment with him.
We lived two different lives. I couldn’t have it both ways.
I pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll always be here if you need me.”
Then, I walked out the door and drove back to Atlanta.
25
NEW YORK CITY
JULY 23, 2015
“I can’t believe you insisted that I work with you,” Amelia said.
“Hey, I’m always here to help out hometown girls.”
I’d run into Amelia Ballentine when I was being fitted for a Teen Choice Award the previous year. I had no idea that she worked for Cunningham Couture after graduating from Parsons. When we’d discovered our Savannah connection, we’d become fast friends. With the Emmys coming up in a few short weeks, I’d reached back out to have her dress me. I was up for Best Actress, and I wanted something innovative and incredible.
“Sometimes, I think about going back,” she admitted.
I arched an eyebrow at her in the mirror as she pinned my dress for alterations. “Really? To Savannah? What would you do there?”
“I don’t know. Open up my own boutique.”
“And give up high fashion?”
She shrugged. “It’s just a thought. I hate being away from home, especially since my brother is back in Savannah.”
My expression soured. Derek and Marley were currently on the outs after he’d been a total ass when they were at Harvard. As much as I liked him for her, they were a toxic mess. They needed to grow up and out of it. Until then, I’d continue to dislike him.
“I know. I know,” Amelia said with a laugh, standing to survey her handiwork. “He was a jerk to Marley. But he’s dating someone new now, and she’s awful. I need to be there to guide him away from that train wreck. I’d much prefer Marley. Trust me.”
I laughed. “Wouldn’t we all?”
“Well, what do you think?” Amelia asked. “It fits you like a glove.”
“You’re a genius.”
The dress was phenomenal. As green as my eyes and the perfect silk masterpiece. I loved every inch of it.
“I can’t wait to see you on the red carpet in it. If you don’t mind me saying, Martin Harper is going to realize how much of an idiot he is.”
I laughed. “I don’t mind that at all.”
Martin and I were in the middle of a mutual but generally messy divorce. It was a long time coming, if I was honest. In fact, all of it should be final any day now. I was just waiting for him to sign his stupid name on the paperwork.
“And you know how I feel about him,” Amelia said with a wink.
“Ah yes, didn’t we all grow up loving him?”
I had no malice toward Martin. He’d been the man of my dreams before I really knew him. I couldn’t blame him for not living up to the hype. But I was going to split our assets fifty-fifty and get the fuck out as fast as I could. We still had to work together on Academy, but it couldn’t be worse than filming this last season in the midst of our divorce.
“What about you?”
“What about me?” Amelia asked, gesturing for me to step out of the dress.
“Any lucky man for you?”
She shook her head. “Nah. I was dating a guy for a while who helped me get this job, but he was … not a good guy. Anyway, he’s engaged to someone else now.”
“And no new men in your life?”
“I’ve gone on dates, but they’re all so … northern.”
I cackled at that assessment as I pulled my dress back on. “You want a Southern gentleman?”
“I can’t help but love them.” She winked at me.
“Someone like … Ash Talmadge?” I guessed. She’d mentioned him to me a few times over the last couple years, and she knew exactly what I thought about him. But in those conversations, I could gather exactly what she thought about him.
She startled anyway. “Um … uh …”
“It’s all right. He’s single right now, isn’t he?”
Lila was back with Cole, which I personally thought was good for her. Not that it stopped her from swinging between the boys like a pendulum.
“He … is,” Amelia admitted. “But I’ve known him my whole life, he’s my brother’s best friend, and … I don’t know if he’ll really ever get over her.”
That I did know.
“Good. You can do better,” I said, and she laughed.
“I like the way you make things seem so simple.” Amelia gathered up the dress. “I should have this ready for you in a week or two. In time for your show.”
“Perfect. Let’s get lunch or something when I’m back in town.”
“Done.”
I hugged Amelia and headed back out onto the New York City streets. I pulled my phone out of my bag and was surprised to find a missed call from my attorney. I listened to the voicemail she’d left, which brought me to a standstill in the middle of the busy street.
I was a free woman. Martin had signed the paperwork. The divorce was final.
“Oh my God,” I said, breathing a sigh of relief.
I hadn’t considered that I was out in public and someone would likely recognize me. I was too ecstatic to be free again that I did a little twirl in the middle of the street.
