Roo the Day, page 26
part #13 of Bob and Nikki Series
“You mean you launched a rescue mission to keep me from being assassinated?”
“Yes. I can call them back, if you’d rather.”
“No, I’m fine with it. I’m just having a little trouble believing it.”
“My Marines haven’t gotten to do much for a while. They need the exercise.”
He looked down at his console. “The way they are cutting through my crew, I think they are in fighting shape already, Captain. I didn’t mean to get my crew torn up like this.”
“You didn’t, Sir. They’re only stunned. They’ll be fine.”
“Really? By my Mother’s pouch! That’s great! Thank you, Captain.”
Behind him, I saw the Marines come onto the bridge. They stunned everyone but the Commodore, and applied nighty-nights. Andre stepped into the frame, and addressed the Commodore. “Begging your pardon, Sir, but the Captain would like to see you aboard the Gene Cernan.”
“Of course.”
“This way, please.”
We watched Andre lead him off the bridge, and then Saucy ended the call. Topper said, “I can’t imagine the Leader will be too happy with what just happened, Boss.”
“You think? He doesn’t have to execute one of his favorite Captains, and he gets to play him as a hero, getting caught by the evil aliens, and surviving to tell the tale. What’s not to like?”
“Well, we did make his Navy look bush league.”
“His Navy is bush league. That’s not our problem, is it?”
“I suppose not, but he’s not going to see it that way, Boss. You’re the one that showed them up, so you’re the one that needs to be punished.”
“I know. What is it about the way I do this, that makes people think they can walk all over me? Is it just because I’d rather not kill anyone, if I can get by without it?”
“I don’t know, Boss. We come in, trying not to cause any more problems than we just have to, and it always seems to blow up in our faces. We’re obviously doing it wrong, but I don’t know what we should be doing different.”
“Me either. I’m surprised ‘Dear Leader’ hasn’t called again.”
Saucy said, “Speak of the Devil, Boss.”
“Put him on.”
He looked disheveled, and he was calling from a much less opulent room. He said, “You’ve accomplished what you came to do. My government has fallen. I am being pursued. I demand asylum.”
“You weren’t having any luck with your demands before, when you had a planet backing you up. Why do you think you’ll have better luck now?”
“You caused this. It is your fault I’ve been deposed. You have to fix it.”
“If your government was worth a darn in the first place, it could have withstood an alien contact. It’s not my fault you ran your planet so poorly.”
“You, you’re not going to help me?”
“No, I am not. You’ve created your situation, now you can deal with it.”
The connection ended. Topper asked, “Why did he think you would help him, after all he did?”
“I’m not sure. I think he has always been able to bluff and bully his way to get what he wanted, and he didn’t think this situation would be any different. I’m beginning to think that I need some more information, before I do anything else. This situation is getting very complicated, very fast.”
“What are you thinking, Boss?”
“I’m thinking I need to leave you in charge, while I have a meeting with all the Roos we have on board, and see if they can explain what just happened, and how to proceed.”
“You think I can handle it, Boss?”
“I do. If you don’t, Sally is handy for you to ask.”
“Thanks, Boss. My ship.”
“Saucy, page all Roo personnel to the ready room, along with Mrs. Wilson, and Jim Bailey.”
“On it, Boss.”
I got up, and walked across to the ready room. I had just gotten settled in, when Ozzie and Velma showed up, with Lilly and Matt. Lilly jumped into her usual place in my lap. It was then I realized Scotti hadn’t gotten to the chairs in here yet. I turned one sideways, and Matt sat down. The rest of the Roos showed up, and followed his example. I said, “There have been some changes on your homeworld. Your Leader is out of a job. I have yet to hear what the new government is going to look like. Before you ask, yes, I seem to be responsible for the change.”
Majel asked, “How did that come about, Captain?”
“He seemed to think he could order me around. Not being one of his subjects, I didn’t take kindly to that.”
Ellie asked, “He proceeded to escalate, and you showed him the error in his ways?”
“I did. Publicly, I’m afraid.”
Majel said, “I’m afraid to ask, but I really want to know.”
“He sent a flight of small ships to take the Gene away from us. We captured them, let their crews loose around the globe, without their weapons, or their pants, and stacked their ships as a sculpture in the park not too far from the seat of government.”
Majel said, “No wonder we have a new government.”
One of her crewmembers said, “You wouldn’t happen to have video, would you?”
I said, “Gene, give us a show, if you would.”
After the video was finished, the fellow said, “Remind me never to annoy you, Captain. That was beautiful.”
“I’ll give Topper your regards. He was in charge of it. What I need from all of you is some guidance on how to proceed with the new government, or as it seems so far, lack of government.”
Lita said, “Captain, I want to thank you for rescuing us from those soldiers. I have no doubt they would have killed us, as they threatened. As to how to deal with the new government, I think your best bet would be to wait for them to contact you, rather than trying to make contact, since it will be a few days before it is clear just who is in charge. If you were to start negotiating with the wrong faction, it would make things more difficult than they are already.”
“I see. So, the succession isn’t a sure thing?”
I felt a tug on my pants leg. I looked down to see Lita’s daughter wanting up. I picked her up, and set her on my other leg. Velma asked, “Do you need us to take the kids out, Boss?”
“No, they’re no trouble. Except for Matt, here. He looks like he might be a little ornery.”
He took a fake swing at me, and I reacted as if he had landed it. Majel asked, “If you’re ready to continue the meeting, Captain? Succession is anything but a sure thing. Whoever can field the most fighters fastest, gets the job.”
“So, nobody who isn’t already in government has any say, at all?”
One of the other crew said, “That’s a fair assessment, Captain.”
“You folks are happy with that kind of government?”
“It works, most of the time. This last fellow was a little full of himself, but usually it works okay.”
“Different strokes for different folks, I guess. My people don’t much care for that kind of a setup.”
Ellie said, “As crowded as our planet is, we can’t afford to have different political divisions. Wars over resources would be raging all the time. Having just the one government isn’t great, but it keeps us from killing one another.”
“I see. That’s why you want more planets so badly.”
“Yes, Boss. That’s it, exactly. We need to spread out, so we can be allowed to have differences.”
“If you folks are that cramped, is one planet going to be enough?”
Majel said, “We don’t know, but having one would certainly beat having none.”
“That’s reasonable. I was just thinking there might be a market in gently used planets around here.”
“I suppose there might. How many do you have handy?”
“Give me a week or two, and I can give you a better answer. I just sent survey crews out to look at the ones we found in the logs of those survey ships we looked at. Right now, I know we have one, and it may be possible to negotiate rights to part of a second.”
“It has a population, already?”
“A crew of bots, left to build a colony long ago. They’ve been on their own for a lot of years, and don’t much want to be bothered with working for humans any more.”
“Haven’t they taken the entire planet?”
Ozzie spoke up. “Robots don’t reproduce, Ma’am. They still have the same population they started with.”
“Oh, I see.”
I asked, “So, your best advice is to wait and see what the new government does, before we take any action?”
A chorus of yeses proceeded around the table. I said, “Well, I’m sorry to have bothered you with this, but I was sincerely hoping one of you had a better handle on what was happening down there than I do.”
They began filing out. Lita came over, and said, “Come on, Gina. You’ve bothered the Captain enough.”
I looked down at her. “See you later, Gina.”
“Um, do you, I mean could I, um, call you Uncle Bob, like Lilly?”
“If you want to, that would be fine.”
I handed her to Lita. Ellie stood up. “You too, Lilly. The Captain has work to do. We need to get out of his way.”
Lilly looked up at me and said, “Bye, Uncle Bob.”
“Bye, Lilly. I’m hoping to get caught up on my work soon, so we can play some more Frisbee.”
“Could Gina play too?”
“Have you taught her how?”
“Um, nope. Guess I better, huh?”
“Yep.”
I handed her to Ellie, and looked over at Matt. “Is Ozzie keeping you busy, Matt?”
“He is. He’s fun.”
“Wait till you meet his brother Taz.”
“Where is he?”
“Out working, right now. He’ll probably be busy for a few days, the way things are going.”
“What kind of work does he do?”
“Sneaky spy stuff. Things little boys aren’t supposed to know about.”
“That sounds exciting.”
“You can ask Taz. It only gets exciting when he does something wrong.”
He looked at Ozzie. Ozzie said, “The Boss is telling you the truth, short Roo. Taz is good at what he does. He doesn’t get caught.”
“Wow! A real life spy!”
“He’ll be back soon enough.”
Ozzie and Matt headed out. Jim asked, “Are we all done, Bob?”
“Would you mind staying a minute? I’d like your opinion on all this.”
Nikki asked, “You need me too, Caveman?”
“Always, darlin’, but especially now.”
Jim said, “He is full of it, isn’t he?”
“As long as it comes out that sweet, I can deal with it.”
I said, “What have I screwed up so far?”
Jim replied, “Given our history with petty dictator types, I think you did the best you could. You failed to take him seriously, so that he didn’t get the false impression that you were one of his subjects, and you didn’t escalate to violence. The results may not be perfect, but I don’t see how you could have done better, coming into the situation with no more knowledge than you had.”
“I was thinking I should have had this meeting before we made orbit, so that I would have had a better idea what I was up against.”
Nikki said, “No more than they seemed to know about how their government works, I’m not sure it would have helped, Bob.”
“You could be right. They didn’t have much to say about it, did they?”
“Jimmy could give you a more useful overview of how Commonwealth government works. It almost seems like they were purposely kept in the dark.”
Jim said, “If the Leader was basically running the place as his own playground, he wouldn’t want anybody finding out how things worked, would he?”
I replied, “That sounds right. He was hiding the works of the government to keep the people from figuring out how badly he was running the place.”
Nikki asked, “Why would they put up with it?”
“Resources are short, and he no doubt told them the way he was handling things was the only fair way. Nobody wanted to rock the boat, for fear of somebody having to go hungry.”
“That makes sense, I guess, but why haven’t they gone out and found more planets to colonize? Isn’t that the easy fix to their problems?”
I said, “I’m not sure, but I think it goes back to having the one guy in charge. As long as they are all on the one planet, he can stay on top of the situation fairly easily. If they spread out to multiple planets, he wouldn’t be able to keep a tight rein on them any more. He would prefer a bad situation, with him in charge, to a better one, where he had to look out for possible rivals.”
Jim said, “I hate to admit it, because I’d like to think that intelligent beings are better than that, but I think Bob’s on the right track. Our arrival would upset his apple cart, because we made it plain that there are other planets out in the galaxy that can support life. He probably had managed to keep it as a speculation, rather than a fact, up until now. Bob embarrassing him was just the icing on the cake.”
“So, you’re saying we helped a bad situation, but it’s going to get worse, temporarily?”
“I think so, Bob. We’re gonna need to get these folks some planets, and get them spread out, before they get another strongman, excuse me, strong Roo, set up to run things.”
“Oh, goody! Time pressure, on top of stirring up a hornet’s nest. Murphy loves us, and wants us to be stronger.”
Nikki said, “That’s how you work best, Bob. You’re not fooling us.”
“Not even a little?”
“Nope.”
“Alrighty then. I guess we better get started. Gene, connect me to Majel, please.”
“On it, Boss.”
Majel’s voice came out of the speaker. “Yes, Captain?”
“After talking with my advisors, it seems to be in our best interest to go ahead and get your people headed to the new planet as soon as we can. Could you start getting things arranged?”
“Of course, Captain. Why the rush?”
“We think it will be easier to get it done without a solid government in place.”
She thought on that a moment. “I can see how that might be to our advantage, Captain. I’ll get right on it. How many colonists can you move at a trip?”
“That depends. Will they have an objection to sleeping through the trip?”
“I wouldn’t think so.”
“Then we can stick nighty-nights on them, and haul a great many of them.”
“Do you have a more solid number than ‘a great many’?”
“No, I don’t. Have Topper get you in touch with Sally. She will be able to give you a solid number.”
“Thanks. I’ll get right on that, Captain. I assume you’ll want payment when you board the passengers?”
“Half up front, at the least. If you feel the need to reserve the other half until you see the planet, I understand.”
“I don’t think that will be necessary, Captain. If you had bad intent, you would just take what you want, since you have overwhelming military force, and the government is in shambles at the moment.”
“Nice of you to have faith in me, Ma’am. Let me know when you’re ready to begin.”
“Will do. Later, Captain.”
“Goodbye.”
Nikki said, “That should get the ball rolling.”
Jim asked, “Even hauling them asleep, will we be able to move enough of their population to make a difference?”
“Four carriers, and six destroyers, with all the spare cubic devoted to hauling colonists? I don’t know, but I have to think it will make a difference that’s at least noticeable, even if it doesn’t really change things. I get the feeling we’ll be making a few of these trips, though.”
Nikki asked, “Do you think one planet will be enough room for all the people they need to move?”
“No, I don’t. Thanks for reminding me. Gene, get me Diego, please.”
“On it, Boss.”
