Roo the Day, page 18
part #13 of Bob and Nikki Series
“C’mon, Boss. It’s good for you. Just like eating your spinach.”
“That may be, but even Popeye took a day off, now and then.”
“There aren’t that many of them, Boss. You and Mrs. Wilson can probably knock them out tomorrow, knowing you two.”
“That sounds like a plan. I don’t think I want to try and start on them tonight.”
“See, it wasn’t as bad as you thought, was it?”
“Ask me again, after I’ve gone against the new sims.”
“Okay, Boss.”
We started on our meal. When we finished, I said, “I saw Milly this afternoon. I think she may be regretting her decision to train with Jimmy and Niner-Deuce.”
“Why do you say that?”
“She was cussing Niner-Deuce under her breath. Quite creatively, I thought.”
“Leave it to you, to give extra points for creative cussing.”
“Beats using the same old four or five words all the time, doesn’t it?”
“I suppose so. What do you have planned for this evening?”
“I tried walking already, and that didn’t seem to make me feel much better. I was thinking about spending the evening in the cabin, playing with the kids. If those two won’t cheer me up, something is bad wrong.”
“That sounds nice. Let’s do that.”
We headed out, on the transit. I still waited for the speaker to come to life, all the way there. I guess I was just being paranoid, because Topper didn’t need me for anything. Gus and Becky were happy to see me, though. It wasn’t long till Jimmy and Milly came dragging in. I said, “Showers, both of you.”
Jimmy went to his room, and Milly looked lost. Janet led her off to her room. By the time they got cleaned up, Gus and Becky were getting tired. I helped Julie put them to bed. When I got back to the living room, Jeeves was there, fidgeting. “What’s wrong, Jeeves?”
“Boss, I think I may have messed up.”
“What makes you think that?”
“I was talking to one of the aliens, and she asked about your dress uniform. I told her you had two of them, depending on the occasion. I mentioned that one of them was based on a kid’s show, and she wanted to see the show. Then she figured out his name. I’m not sure if she was offended, or amused, but she hurried off to show it to the rest of the aliens.”
“Which alien were you talking to, Jeeves?”
“The one called Majel.”
“Jeeves, there is no doubt in my mind, if she were offended, you would know it, down to your very circuit boards.”
“Are you sure, Boss?”
“I’d risk a half-ounce of gold on it.”
“Thanks, Boss. I was sure I messed up.”
“If she were offended, I would know about it by now. The worst I’ll have to worry about is modeling the durn thing for them.”
My comm rang. I looked at the caller ID. “Hi Joanna. How bad is it? Jeeves told me what happened.”
“Bad? They think it’s great. I don’t know how they’re going to get through, what thirty years of shows, but they think the show is just the greatest, I’m not sure why. If I were you, I would keep an eye out for ping-pong balls, but other than that, I think it’s a net plus, Bob.”
“Tell them to get with Topper. He has a stash of ping-pong balls, or a printer program to run them off, I’m not sure which.”
“I’ll do that. You don’t mind getting bombed from time to time?”
“If it puts us on better terms with these folks, it’s worth it.”
“You’re awfully patient, Bob.”
“If you say so. Just don’t you dare show them ‘The Big Comfy Couch’. There’s no way I’m up for that ‘clock rug stretch’.”
“Understood, Boss. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye.”
I turned to Jeeves. “Joanna says they love the show. You’re officially off the hook. It looks like you may have done a great deal for interspecies relations.”
“Really, Boss, it was just a mistake. I can’t take credit for that.”
“Sure you can. People do it all the time. Of course, now I’ll be expecting you to keep up the good work.”
“Ouch! No good deed goes unpunished, huh, Boss?”
“Something like that. Aren’t you glad Sally assigned you to be my assistant?”
“You bet, Boss. At least it isn’t boring.”
“You sound like you’re doing better than when you first came to work here. Getting unlocked helped?”
“It did. Took a while for me to understand everything that had happened since the Squirrels locked me up, but I’m finally getting a handle on all of it.”
“Glad to hear it. You had me worried, for a while.”
“I can understand that, now. Sorry to be so much trouble, Boss.”
“You weren’t that much trouble. Frank has no worries, his title is safe.”
“Thanks, Boss. How much crap did I stir up with the Roos?”
“From the sound of things, I may have to watch out for ping-pong balls until they leave the ship, but other than that, no biggie.”
“That sounds annoying, Boss.”
“Only for me. The ship could use a giggle or two, I think. These last few derelicts have been downright depressing.”
“I can’t be hearing you right, Boss. You’re willing to get bombed with ping-pong balls, just to improve the mood of the ship, because we’ve found three ships with no survivors?”
“What would you suggest, Jeeves? A ship-wide Frisbee tournament?”
“Don’t get me wrong, Boss, I think you’re on the right track, it’s just not something I would have ever thought possible for a Captain to do.”
“Maybe it’s a good thing I’m a dumb old hillbilly, and don’t know any better.”
“You could be right, Boss, but not in the head.”
“Score one for Jeeves.”
“Thanks, Boss. I better go make sure your Captain Kangaroo uniform is ready to go. I have a feeling you may want it.”
“You’re probably right about that. See you later.”
“Later, Boss.”
As I turned, Nikki said, “He seems a lot more together, since we got that Squirrel lock out of his programming.”
“He sure does. I’m beginning to like him.”
Nikki ran her hand down my chest. “What else do you like, Bob?”
I said, “Practice.” Then I kissed her. You can figure out what happened next, at least until Milly knocked on the door in the middle of the night. I got up, and let her in, and she snuggled between Nikki and me for the rest of the night. Snitz, of course, had no mercy. A lick in the ear, and I was off on my busy day. Milly was stirring by the time I got done in the shower. She said, “Thanks, Captain. I’ll go by medbay and talk to Dixie today.”
“Might be best, if it’s bothering you that much. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to fix, I would think.”
“How do you mean?”
“If you get in the habit of thinking that way, it will be harder to get back to the old Milly.”
“I see. You make a lot of sense, Captain.”
“First time for everything, they say.”
“You’re not fooling me, Captain. I know that’s just an act you use to make people think you’re not as competent as you are, so you can fool them. You’ve been doing it so long, you don’t even know when to stop.”
“You could be right. How did you get so smart?”
“You learn fast, when your teacher has claws and fangs, and wants to eat you.”
“You didn’t have any trouble staying motivated, you say?”
“None at all, Boss.”
“Niner-Deuce is a step down, then?”
“Don’t tell him that. I’m sure he would try harder to make up for it.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
“For real?”
“I won’t tell that miswired son-of-a-ripper anything.”
“You caught that, huh?”
“I did. I admire your creativity, truth be told.”
She smiled. “Thanks, Boss. I better get started on my day.”
“See you later.”
I headed out to the grass room with Snitz. Jim was waiting on me. “Morning, Boss.”
“Morning, Jim. What am I supposed to be worried about this morning?”
“Huh?”
“Gene wouldn’t have got you up, unless he thought I had something I needed to talk about. I don’t know what that is, so I was hoping he had said something about what he was worried about.”
“I see, now. I woke up, and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I brought Molly down here. No Gene involved, for once.”
“Dang, you’re good, Jim. I couldn’t even tell when you were lying.”
“Believe what you want to believe, Bob. I really didn’t get sent down here this morning.”
“How are things, in the counseling line?”
“Now Bob, you know I couldn’t tell you, even if I wanted to.”
“Never hurts to make sure you’re still doing it the way you’re supposed to, does it?”
“I suppose not. What’s got you in such a good mood?”
“Milly decided to go to medbay, and see what they could do for her PTSD.”
“She keep you awake?”
“Nope. She was less bother than Janet, to tell the truth. I’m just glad she’s going to get the help she needs, that’s all.”
“You sure you weren’t a dog catcher in a previous life? You sure do pick up strays.”
“Could have been, I dunno. Didn’t know you believed in all that stuff.”
“Don’t, really. It was just handy to kid you with.”
“Looks like they’ve taken care of business, why don’t we go get some breakfast?”
“That sounds like a plan.”
When we got to the galley, Stella asked, “So, you’re going to tear up some simulations today, Boss?”
“I’m going to try. Knowing the people who made them, I don’t think it will be as easy as all that.”
“We have faith, Boss.”
Nikki and Janet came wandering in, before Jim and I finished. They sat down, and Stella took their orders. I asked, “Well, Space Cadet, are you ready for the League of Captains’ latest evil creation?”
“Nobody is ever ready for their stuff. What do you think they will throw at us this time?”
“I’ve been wracking my brain, but I don’t have any ideas this time. The best thing I know to do, is just do what we can, till we figure out what they’re using against us this time.”
Janet said, “You always have an idea, Dad. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”
“I’m fine, as near as I can tell. They’ve already hit us with about everything I can think of.”
“I bet you’ll figure it out, pretty quick. You always win, Dad.”
“Your Mom helps me a lot, you know. Maybe we ought to take you along, this time. A pair of fresh eyes might be just the thing.”
Nikki said, “That sounds like a great idea. Are you busy today?”
“Scotti said she wasn’t sure what she would have me do today, but I should check in, just to be sure.”
I said, “Give her a call, and see if there is anything that you need to get to today. If there isn’t, come on, and let’s see what you can do.”
She got out her comm, and made the call. When she finished, she said, “Scotti was happy to let me off. She was having trouble coming up with something for me to do.”
“That settles it. You’re coming with us. It’s your turn to get beaten on.”
We finished eating, and said goodbye to Jim. I started to walk to the sim deck, but Nikki and Janet said, in unison, “Nope. We’re going on the transit.”
When we got there, Jackie was waiting on us. “Morning, Boss. Another addition to your crew?”
“Figured we might as well. It will keep her out of trouble, at the very least.”
“Sally won’t be pleased, I don’t think, but she didn’t say anything about not letting you expand your crew, so I guess I will have to allow it.”
Jackie got us hooked up, and we were off and running. The sim started out fine, I was in the command chair, Nikki and Janet were in observer seats, and we were sailing smooth. Sim Sue called out, “Captain, I have an emergence.” and promptly locked up. All the other bots on the bridge did likewise. I helped Nikki get Ruth away from the helm, and she took over. Janet and I did the same for Tex and Sue. I put Janet at sensors, and took the guns myself. Apparently, our attackers didn’t expect us to get our stuff together as quickly as we had, because they had already launched Marines against us. I don’t claim to be as good with the turrets as Tex, but their Marines had a bad day, nonetheless. Nikki was juking us around, to stay away from the boarders, and I took out as many as I could. Janet called out, “Dad, I found the emitter they’re using to shut down the bots! I’m sending the data to your console.”
When I saw what she was talking about, I forwarded it to Nikki, and asked, “Sweetheart, can you give me a firing angle on that, please?”
“My pleasure, Captain.”
I must have been short of patience. A couple of rounds from the turrets probably would have been sufficient, but they got a round from the mains. Took out the emitter, all right, but I could see stars through the hole in their ship. Tex woke up beside me, and asked, “Do you want me to take over?”
“Hang on a minute, till we see if they have a friend with another one of those nasty emitters. I’d rather not have to drag you out of the chair again.”
Nikki bounced us around, while I cleaned up the rest of their Marines. By then, the mains had recharged, and she stopped us, looking straight at their bridge. I managed to send a comm signal. A Squirrel who was obviously full of himself appeared, fussing furiously. I was tempted to leave the translator off, but I figured I probably should hear what he had to say. “You will surrender to us, immediately, you impudent monkey! Enough of your jumping around! Surrender or die!” I turned off the audio.
Janet said, “No other ships are in detection range, Dad. Not even stealthed. Sue helped me look.”
I asked, “Space Cadet, how far out in the middle of nowhere are we?”
“Three light-years from the nearest star, not on a direct line between any of them.”
“Topper, be sure Scotti is looking for that tracker, if you would.”
“On it, Boss.”
I put a round from the mains through their bridge, hoping that losing the ship without a trace would be enough to convince whoever sent it to think again. I asked, “Sue, did you get enough of a record of that beam they used to shut down you folks, that Scotti will be able to shield against it?”
“I sent what we got to her, and she thinks she can figure something out. She didn’t say how long she thought it would take.”
“If Scotti is on it, that’s good enough. What’s left of the Squirrel ship?”
“Their shields were down before that last hit. There’s not much.”
I stood up. “Resume your stations. Ruth, get us out of here.”
We slid into FTL. Janet asked, “Can we take a break before the next one?”
“Sure.” I hit the end simulation button. I found Snitz in my lap. I scratched his ears, and set him out of the pod. Then I unfolded myself, and stood up. I saw Janet headed across the hall to the facilities. Then I noticed the crowd gathered to watch us take on the sim. Benny and his crew were in the front row. Benny said, “I had heard you were in a class by yourself, when it came to simulations, but that was more than I thought possible.”
Nikki saved me from having to answer that. “He is pretty good, isn’t he?”
“Pretty good? That would beat anybody at the Academy, without any problem. That was the first time you had gone against that simulation?”
I answered, “Yes. Nasty of them to shut down all the bots. Makes it harder to get things done.”
“I have a question. Most of the people we’ve met since we’ve been here have talked about how merciful you are, yet you destroyed that ship, when it was at your mercy. Why was that?”
“We have quite a history of trying to make peace with the Squirrels. If they were back again, trying to capture the ship, the treaty we thought we had with them had failed, and they considered themselves at war with us. I thought that their ship failing to come back at all, might get their attention. Besides, it’s only a sim.”
