Bittersweet, page 9
Her heart began to race, and she felt really weak as the images faded once more and she was in Brady’s arms again. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “Stay with me, Brady, I don’t want to go. Please, just don’t leave me.”
She was slipping away, and she knew it. But to where? And why?
“Oh, Jenna,” he whispered in grief. “Ye’r scarin’ me, love. I love ye and I can’t lose ye now.”
She could feel his lips press against hers and more wetness on her cheeks. Was he crying or was she? “I love you too,” she breathed before everything just disappeared and she was back in that blank, peaceful place where she felt light and carefree again.
Chapter Ten
Jenna felt as if she’d turned back time and had become lost. She couldn’t feel Tyler near her anymore, she hadn’t for a while now, but more importantly, where was Brady? And where was she?
She was floating. The heaviness faded, and she wasn’t with her body anymore. There was nothing left but her own thoughts.
So was she dead? She couldn’t see, couldn’t hear, and couldn’t feel anything or anyone around her. She was in an empty place, but she still had this strange feeling of being safe, and she kind of liked it. Content with no emotion, it was amazing and stress-free. There were no worries or sadness wherever she was, but then Jayden came to mind, her parents, Tyler, or at least the memory of him, and Brady. She remembered her love for them all and had to fight. She let go of the tranquility and fought to go toward the light again to see what would happen. Suddenly she could hear again; it was her mother’s voice, pleading.
“Jenna, wake up. Please, baby, just wake up. Come back to me.”
The closer she drifted toward the sound, the more painful it was. Her body was so stiff and in agony. She could barely move. Her finger twitched, and she could feel someone clutch her hand. She opened her eyes quickly only to close them again.
“Jenna?” Her mother gasped. “Open your eyes, sweetheart.”
“Too bright,” she managed to whisper and heard a chair beside her squeak.
The lights dimmed. “The hospital. Déjà vu.” It felt like she was reliving the beginning when she’d woken up to find out that Tyler had died. “What put me in here this time?”
“There was an accident.”
Jenna looked around the room, examining the machinery and tubes sticking out of her. Her mother was crying and trying to speak. Looking up, Jenna tried to smile, but that hurt too much and she grimaced.
“What—what’s wrong?” Her mother looked panicked. “Do I need to get someone?”
“It’s okay, Mom. Everything is fine. I just need to remember that it hurts to smile. In fact, everything pretty much hurts right now.”
“Oh, Jenna, you had me so worried. For a while there it was touch and go, and we weren’t sure if you were going to make it.”
“And Tyler didn’t make it, right?”
She’d already lived through this chapter in her life, and the words had just slipped out. Her mother was silent and stared at her in disbelief.
“Where’s Brady? Mom, please, tell me he wasn’t with me when whatever happened. Brady’s okay, right? I can’t lose him too.”
This could not be happening a second time. She hadn’t done anything bad enough for life to be this cruel to her. But the more Jenna spoke, the more confused her mother looked. She panicked further. “And Jayden?” Her hospital monitor was going crazy.
“You need to relax, honey. Jayden is fine. He’s with Dad.” Her mother smiled and wiped her face dry. “We’ll bring him by shortly to see you, all right?”
“Mrs. Baker, it’s nice to see you awake.” Her nurse smiled as she entered the room. She checked Jenna’s chart and jotted something down before checking the machines. “Hmm,” she hummed, looking at Jenna with disapproval. “Mrs. Baker, I understand that in these circumstances emotions can run high, but you have to keep yourself calm.” The nurse looked at her mother. “And I’ll expect your family to abide by making things as stress-free as possible for you in the meantime.” Jenna and her mother nodded in unison. “Okay then, I’ll just let the others know you’re awake.”
Once she was gone, Jenna had to know. “Where’s Brady, Mom?”
“Brady?” she repeated. “Jenna, I don’t think I know who you’re talking about.”
“Brady, Mom. The one I met in Ireland, the one who helped me move on. The last thing I remember was just before we were going to come back here.” It was all so fuzzy for her now, but she had to jog her memory.
They were both silent, and Jenna patiently waited for answers while her mother opened and closed her mouth a few times as if she didn’t know where to start.
The door opened and her dad entered, distracting them. “Jenna,” he cried in relief.
This had to have been the first time she could remember ever seeing her father shed tears for anything.
“Hi, Dad,” she gasped, and then cried out in discomfort when he hugged her.
“Sorry.” He winced and pulled himself away. “It’s just so good to see you awake. You’re going to be okay.” He turned to his wife. “Our little girl’s okay,” he whispered as if he was finally able to breathe again.
“Aw, Daddy, don’t cry,” Jenna pleaded. “You’re making me cry and everything hurts, including that.” She laughed and then groaned loudly in pain just as the door opened again. She smiled then, not caring how much it hurt. “Jayden,” she squealed, as much as she could under the circumstances. She’d missed him so much, and it felt like forever since she’d last seen him or had him in her arms.
Her joy turned into a stunned silence when she saw who was with him. It was a living ghost.
Jayden rushed to her side, and out of instinct she extended her arms to hold him close.
“Tyler?” She looked at her mother with wide eyes and then back to Tyler again. “I-I don’t understand.”
Her husband smiled at her and looked just as relieved as her father had. He closed the distance between them. “Oh God, Jenna, I thought I’d lost you,” he whispered and kissed the top of her head.
“This can’t be happening,” she cried and began to shake in panic. “Oh my God, I’m dead, right? I mean we all are. We got into the accident together.”
The machines in the room blared. Her father rushed out to get help, and by the time he got back she’d become hysterical. Everyone in the room stood there wide-eyed, stunned, and looking at her as though they weren’t sure what to do next while poor Jayden cried and looked terrified at the scene in front of him.
“Tyler?” She couldn’t believe her eyes.
“Jenna, please,” he begged. “I just got you back.”
She closed her eyes and could feel his lips on her forehead. “But you were dead,” she whispered. “You died, and I was forced to move on without you.”
“Jenna, please?”
She nodded and tried her best to calm down, but she just couldn’t. “Just tell me one thing,” she pleaded. “We’re dead, right? We all died that day?”
Her eyes became heavy before she could get her answer, and she couldn’t fight it. She heard Tyler yell, “No, please, just give her a minute.” But it was too late, and the darkness took her again.
***
She was standing in a beautiful field of wildflowers, a completely open space. The sun was shining in the beautiful blue sky, and it reminded her of Ireland. She could see somebody approaching in the distance and smiled with excitement as soon as she recognized his amazing face.
Filled with joy, she laughed and ran toward him. When they were face-to-face, she smiled and traced her hand down his chest to those beautifully sculptured abs. “Where have you been?”
“I’ll always be with ye as long as you let me. I love ye, Jenna.”
She smiled blissfully. “And I love you, Brady.”
Someone cleared their throat behind her and interrupted their moment. Brady looked up with an annoyed expression before she turned around.
“Tyler!” What was he doing there?
He looked at her quickly, then back toward Brady. “Jenna, what’s going on?” he asked without taking his eyes off Brady and directed the next question toward him. “And why are your hands on my wife?”
She was so confused, standing between the two of them, looking back and forth between their two faces. “I don’t understand. How can you both be here?”
Tyler smiled and answered with a question of his own. “Is it true, what you said? Do you love him?”
She couldn’t look Tyler in the eye when she answered, so she concentrated on Brady and spoke the truth. “I do.”
Brady smiled and she turned to Tyler. “But I love you too.”
Looking between them again, she could see the anger in their expressions as she confessed her love for both of them.
“Jenna,” Tyler said and reached for her.
“Jenna.” Brady held his hand out as well.
She didn’t move and wished she could split in two. She hated hurting the people she loved the most in this world, but she didn’t know what to do.
“She’s my wife, She’s coming with me.”
Brady narrowed his eyes. “Things change, Tyler. We have a connection that just can’t be broken.”
Both angry men charged at each other and pushed Jenna out of their way.
She woke up with a start and whimpered in agony. It was night, but she could see Tyler sleeping in a chair beside her bed.
“A dream,” she whispered in relief. “It was just a dream.”
But nothing felt like reality anymore, and she couldn’t sleep. She lay there watching Tyler sleep instead. He looked so peaceful. She stretched her hand out as far as it would go. She had to touch him to make sure she wasn’t dreaming again. He felt so real. Could he actually be alive? She wanted him to be. Her husband was actually there with her, physically beside her, and not just ashes in a container. He was warm and soft, with drool coming out the side of his mouth as he slept, and she was in complete awe.
“You’re awake,” a woman whispered as she entered. “And relatively calmer. That’s good.”
“I’m quite sore, though.” Jenna tried giving her a friendly smile but grimaced instead.
Her nurse laughed. “I can give you a little something for the pain. It should make you feel better.” She left and came back with a syringe a minute later.
“Please, I don’t want to be knocked out again,” Jenna told her. She’d just woken up and hoped to be alert for a while.
“It’s okay, Mrs. Baker. It’s not quite as strong as that, just something for your discomfort, that’s all,” the nurse assured her and administered something to one of Jenna’s many connecting tubes.
“Thank you.”
“Well, my name is Eleanor. If you need anything, just press that button beside you, okay?”
Jenna nodded as Eleanor left and focused on Tyler again. The next time she smiled, it didn’t hurt as much.
***
“I don’t understand why she was so worked up, and why is she convinced that she’s dead?”
“I’m not sure…I think it may be because she thinks that you’re dead.”
“What?” It went silent for a second. “Who convinced her of that? That’s ridiculous…I mean, I was never—although I probably should be after saving myself and not her.”
“Oh, Tyler.”
Jenna didn’t like where the harshly whispered conversation was heading and wondered if she was dreaming again. She opened her eyes to see Tyler and her mother across the room. “Mom?”
They both jumped and exchanged worried looks. “Hi, honey, have you been awake long?” Her mother approached the bed. “We didn’t want to disturb you.”
She shook her head, not wanting to give away her eavesdropping. “You guys could never disturb me.”
Tyler stood on the other side of the room, looking uncomfortable and not sure if he should approach, but who could blame the guy? His wife thought he was a ghost, and the last thing he would want to do would be to upset her.
“Tyler.” Jenna extended her hand, wanting him to come closer. “Come here.” She needed some alone time with him. “Mom, would you mind giving us a few minutes?”
“Sure, honey.”
Jenna waited until the door clicked behind her. “So we’re not dead?” she asked with a smile and tried to apologize for her initial behavior. “I’m so sorry, Tyler.”
He shook his head and finally approached her. He reached for her hand but pulled back before making contact. It hurt her to see him be so hesitant. “What’s the matter?” she asked, because what she’d heard of his conversation with her mother didn’t make any sense to her. He blamed himself for her being there, and she couldn’t shake his expression of remorse.
“Everything’s fine, Jenna.” His eyes were glossy, but he forced a smile, and she could tell he was struggling with his emotions.
Jenna narrowed her eyes and tilted her head to the side, catching him in a lie. “Come here,” she urged. He stood directly in front of her but still wasn’t within her reach.
“I am here, Jenna.”
Sighing in frustration, she pressed her hands down on the mattress to wiggle over, giving him enough room to sit on the bed with her. She winced at how much the movement hurt but was determined to have him closer.
“What are you doing?” he snapped, and it just made her roll her eyes and repeat herself.
“Come here.” Tapping the space beside her, she continued, “I’ve missed you, and so help me God, Tyler, if you don’t come here, I’m going to endure a lot of pain when I come and get you.”
“You wouldn’t,” he said but sat beside her just in case.
“Not close enough.”
“Geez, Jenna, how close do you want me to be? I’m afraid I might touch something I’m not supposed to, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’m fine. The nurse gave me something amazing.” She lied a little. The medication was starting to wear off, but she didn’t care. He was there, and if she had to endure being uncomfortable for a little while, then she’d gladly take the trade-off.
“You woke up before?”
“You were sleeping in the chair beside me, and I held your hand, or at least I tried to. I must have dozed off again.” She sighed and felt as though she’d been asleep for too long now.
He looked at her and finally smiled. His spirits seemed to lift a little bit, so she pushed her luck. “Kiss me.”
“Seriously?” He moved his face away as if the thought of it made him nervous and looked at her from head to toe.
“Do I look that awful?” she teased. “Kiss me.”
“I don’t know, Jenna,” he started to argue, but she wouldn’t give him the chance. She pressed her hands down again to move forward. If he wasn’t coming to her, she was going to him.
“Are you crazy?” he exclaimed and pushed gently on her shoulders to get her to lie back. “You’re as stubborn as ever, and I’d like you to heal so that I can actually take you home one of these days.”
She laughed. “Yeah, but mission accomplished. You’re touching me; is that so bad? Honestly, Tyler, I thought I’d lost you. Is it so terrible that I want a kiss?” She looked away, feeling rejected and self-conscious. She hadn’t looked in a mirror and began to wonder if she really did look that terrible after all.
The bed moved a little as he came closer and smiled. “No, it’s not half as bad as it was.”
“I missed you,” she whispered. “And I’m so glad you’re here with me.” She held his face as he moved closer to feel him against her again. Their lips finally touched, and she began to cry. She thought she’d never be able to do this with him again, and there they were. He pulled away way too soon. “Not done yet,” she whispered.
He chuckled and obliged. His tongue outlined her bottom lip for entry. A moan sounded from deep within his throat, fueling her desire to keep kissing him. Tyler, her husband, was actually alive and well, had come back from the dead.
“Oh!” Her mother gasped from the door, and they both laughed at her embarrassment.
“Ouch,” Jenna said between giggles. “I think it’s time for more pain meds. Can someone get the nurse?”
“Are you all right?” Tyler asked.
Jenna nodded. “But I’ll be better once I get a little more of whatever they gave me earlier, though. Can you stay with me for a while?”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Once the nurse had administered her magic and her mother had been assured that Jenna was doing fine, her mother left them alone for the day.
Drugged and comfortable, Jenna still had a lot of questions. She needed answers, and this was her opportunity to get them from him. “So what happened?”
“Do you remember anything at all?”
“We were on our way to pick up Jayden, and it was raining, right?”
He nodded. “We left early, and it started to rain. I pulled over because we could barely see through the windshield.” He smiled, but it looked strained. “You were bored and feeling a little uneasy with the weather.” He looked away and cleared his throat.
“Tyler, what happened? I remember that part. I want to know the rest.” She needed to know.
“I’m so sorry, Jenna. It all happened so fast. We could hear tires squealing close by, and the headlights came for us fast. It was a delivery truck. The man swerved out of the way thinking he saw something in the road and didn’t see us clearly until it was too late. As soon as I could make out what was happening, I tried to pull you along with me. I managed to get the door open and jump out in time, but the car was crushed. I could see your body fly inside of it. You almost didn’t make it.” He stood up and started to pace. “If anything had happened to you…I mean if it ever came to that…” He looked away again. “I just don’t know if I could live with myself.”
“Now who’s being ridiculous? You should know better than anyone that I’m too stubborn to die. There’s just too much to live for.” She smiled, hoping that by teasing him she could get him to smile with her. She hated that he blamed himself. What happened had happened. She was still just so relieved that he wasn’t dead.
