Yeah, I Hate-Ate Your Cupcake!: A Romantic Comedy, page 21
Karlie: I’d like to lick frosting off of something else.
Then I waited...and waited.
Sophie came back to the table, arms filled with white fabric.
“Brea has some bridal crop tops she’s been designing,” Sophie said, setting several lacy articles on the table. “Try one of those on.”
“I sort of already sent the photo.” I gulped.
“What did you send?” Sophie asked slowly, holding out her hand for the phone. She saw the photo. “Oh lord.”
“It’s fun!” I protested.
“Girl. It’s something, all right.”
I snatched the phone back from her and zoomed in on the photo. My stomach sank. “Why did you let me send this? I have, like, five chins!”
“I leave you alone for one minute...”
I started hyperventilating. “It’s not that bad, right?”
“Er, no, it’s going to be fine...” Sophie said, clearly lying.
“I’m flushing my phone down the toilet,” I swore as I set out the various options for the bachelorette gift bags for Roberta’s review. It was the tenth item on a long list of wedding-related decisions that needed to be made.
“The most exciting things here are the specialty cookies,” Sophie said, eating one of the cookies with a cursive monogram for the happy couple.
Or unhappy. Roberta stormed into the office. She took one look at the items and started berating me. “We are not putting cookies in the gift bags.”
“Roberta,” my mother said, “your guests need to have something after all that drinking.”
“I want to have a fabulous bachelorette party,” she yelled at me. “You’re supposed to be making all my dreams come true.”
“I’m doing the best I can,” I promised.
“You’re trying to sabotage me. You’re just jealous.”
“It’s just that we have a very short timeline,” I reminded Roberta.
“You think you can judge me?”
“No one’s here to judge,” Ivy, the wedding planner, assured her. “We want you to have the best wedding possible.”
“And I will.” Roberta tossed her glossy hair. My stomach twisted with envy. She went for blowouts twice a week.
I went for pizza twice a week.
Maybe that was why Liam didn’t want to be around me.
What was his deal? I obsessed over him while Ivy gave a rundown of the outstanding wedding decisions Roberta needed to make if we were going to be able to throw an amazing wedding in a few weeks.
Maybe Liam’s mad you’re being too clingy or maybe he’s mad because you’re not fawning over him.
But I didn’t want him to think I was weird. I wanted him to think I was cool and sexy, someone he could take to a fancy party and show off to his friends.
Even Marcus didn’t want you to meet his friends, I reminded myself sadly. And Liam is way better than him. All your meager attempts at having a relationship have ended in disaster. Shoot, your entire life is a disaster. You can’t even manage a job interview without making everyone wildly awkward and uncomfortable. You need to focus on this wedding.
Hooking up with Liam—well, having messy orgasms on his couch, anyway—was a bad idea.
He barely texts you. He clearly doesn’t think about you. You should do the same.
I ate one of the mini cupcakes I had brought as snacks.
“Do you have the venue booked?” Roberta asked.
I dropped the cupcake, and it landed icing side down on my planner.
“Crap.” Hastily, I scooped off the frosting with my fingers.
“I’m supposed to book the wedding venue?” I squeaked.
“No.” Roberta huffed an annoyed breath. “For the bachelorette party. You better have booked somewhere nice.”
“I do have that booked.” I pulled out the marketing brochure for the royal suite in a fancy hotel.
“Meghan Markle had her baby shower here,” I explained. “I have a nice tasteful food spread ordered, a flower arranging demonstration, and someone to come show us how to make lace.”
“We’re making lace at my bachelorette party?” Roberta’s lip curled back. “Is this a joke?”
“The pictures will look very elegant on Instagram,” Ivy said gently. “Upscale, offbeat bachelorette parties are very in style right now. We have a number of brides making anything from stained glass to French pastries. It’s that cottagecore aesthetic.”
Roberta sniffed. “Sounds like you organized the bachelorette party of your dreams, not mine, but since we all know Liam’s never actually going to marry you, I’ll be a good twin and allow it.”
When I pulled into the garage at 101 Park Place, I turned off the car then sat in the dimly lit parking garage for a moment.
I checked my phone. Nothing from Liam. Of course.
I took another look at the horrible photo I had sent then banged my head on the steering wheel.
“Stupid, stupid.” I wanted to curl up with tea and a book and stream Netflix reruns in the background, but I had Tosha’s couples shower this evening. Her mom had insisted we plan it for a weeknight and confessed to me when she was drunk that she did that so that fewer people would attend.
As if anyone is going to skip that train wreck. It’s going to be the talk of lunch for months.
Would it be weird to rewear the dress Liam bought me? I wondered as I opened the back door of the car to unload the boxes of decorations I needed to bring to the couples shower.
“Hey, Cupcake.”
I turned around, holding a bag of pink light bulbs.
Liam’s eyes were half-lidded. “I take it from your text that you have my cupcake.”
“Uh—”
Crap. I did not have his cupcake. I had cupcakes but had stress eaten them in the car.
I looked guilty as Liam slowly picked up the empty cupcake box and opened it. He swiped a finger in the icing and licked it. “Tasty.”
Guess that picture wasn’t so bad after all.
Liam pulled at the collar of my shirt, tugging me toward him. He kissed me roughly, his hands on my tits, rubbing them through the fabric.
“Guess I’m going to have to eat a muffin instead.”
“I just have cookies,” I squeaked.
He grinned lazily. “That works too.”
“Um, okay,” I said, turning around and half crawling into the back seat to fish the bag of cookies out of a box. Then I almost crashed my head on the top of the car when I felt Liam’s hands under my skirt and on my ass.
“I, um...oh,” I breathed as he rubbed me through my now soaking-wet panties. “Guess you don’t want cookies.”
“I'll take anything sweet,” he said, still rubbing me through the lacy underwear. “You got something sweet for me, Karlie?”
My pussy ached with anticipation as his large hands spread my legs. “I might have a cookie I think you'll enjoy.” My heart raced.
Liam let out a hungry growl and flipped up the hem of my skirt. He then hooked his fingers in my panties, pulling them down like he was opening a box of sweets.
“I don't think I'll be able to have just a taste...I think I'm going to have to eat the whole damn thing.”
“You know what they say...you can't eat just one,” I joked lamely.
I heard the smile in his voice. “Isn't that potato chips?”
He dipped his head down. I spread my legs wider. His breath was warm against my pussy.
My eyes closed. God, I wanted this. I craved it, and if he didn't bring me off soon...
His large fingers pushed apart my pussy, and his tongue dived in to swipe right across my clit...and I found myself in heaven.
As my head dipped down, my arms trembled, holding me up and hovering over the boxes of decorations. I let out a throaty little sound to let him know he'd hit the spot. Liam teased his tongue right over my clit, sending warmth all the way up and down my spine. I had to work hard not to clench my legs against his head.
He alternated lapping at me like he was frosting a cupcake. The tips of his fingers dipped in and out of my opening, giving me just that added bit of sensation.
His cock would be better.
But then I was gone, my orgasm rushing up like an out-of-control train. I couldn't have stopped myself if I wanted to...and I didn't want to.
I cried out as I came, and he licked me all through it.
Liam watched me, gray eyes still hungry as I fussed with my clothes and climbed out of the car. He caught me as I stumbled, my legs still jelly.
Liam kissed me hard.
“Best cupcake yet.”
44
Liam
Going down on Karlie right before we had to go to a wedding event may not have been the best decision I had ever made. Too bad her car was so small. I could have fucked her right there in the parking garage. As it was, I had to settle for the whimpers and moans she had made as I licked her pussy.
I pulled her in for another rough kiss, my hand back between her legs, her panties warm and wet. Fuck, I wanted her.
“I’m going to take you upstairs,” I whispered, “and fuck your perfect pussy until you scream.”
Her hand was pawing at my belt. I hissed as she palmed my cock through my pants.
“Guess that’s a yes.”
At least it was until her phone beeped. Karlie glanced at it.
“Tosha’s begging me to go over to the venue early,” she explained. “I need to change. Maybe take a cold shower.”
I smirked. I probably needed one too.
I helped her carry her things up to her apartment. I was just about to suggest a quick and dirty pre-shower fuck when her phone rang.
“I’ll see you in a bit,” she said then answered the phone.
I walked down to my condo, frustrated. It would be impossible to be at that party with her right next to me.
“Stop obsessing,” I told my reflection in the bathroom mirror. “It’s not a good look on you. Just sleep with her tonight. Or shit, do it at the party.”
Now there was an idea.
I checked my watch as I walked into the lobby. I was going to ride over with Karlie and help her set up. I would also do a little recon on Rudy. Maybe I would recognize some other people from the cult there.
“It’s unconscionable,” Greg thundered as I stepped off the elevator into the lobby. Belle was there, wearing a slinky dress, and Finn Richmond seemed way too happy to have his arm around her waist.
“Belle, you’re doing this to make me jealous.”
“Contrary to what your ego would have you believe, Greg,” Belle said, “I don’t actually care about you that much. I’m enjoying a date with my new boyfriend.”
The tendon on Greg’s neck jumped as he swallowed. My normally cold, collected brother was about to go nuclear.
“She’s just using you, you know,” Greg said to Finn, hands clenched. “She’s trying to buy JetCut, and I know you’re trying to buy it too.”
“We’ve come to an understanding,” Finn replied.
“She’s going to screw you over.”
Finn gave an elegant shrug. “Belle is free to use me and screw me anyway she likes.”
I sprinted and grabbed my older brother in a chokehold before he went after Finn.
The brown-haired man just laughed and kissed Belle while I tried to keep Greg from breaking my arm trying to wrench out of the chokehold. Then Finn took Belle’s hand and escorted her out the door.
When I let Greg go, he rounded on me. I skittered back, my dress shoes squeaking on the floor.
“Now, Greg,” I said, holding up my hand as he advanced on me. “You know you can’t just get in fights with people. That’s not a good look. Think of the tabloids. ‘Son of Crazy Violent Cult Leader is Crazy and Violent’? The Lifetime movie practically writes itself.”
My brother blew out a breath and visibly tried to compose himself. “I need to go to that party.”
The elevator dinged.
“There you are,” Karlie said brightly. She seemed a little too composed for someone who just had my tongue on her clit.
I wanted her salivating for me. To be fair, though, she had had a happy ending while I had not.
Anticipation makes everything better.
Karlie looked between my brother and me in confusion.
I put on my best I’m-so-sexy look.
“Karlie,” I purred. “I need a favor.”
“You do?” She sounded a little breathless. Good.
“Greg would very much like to attend tonight’s soiree.”
She frowned. “Tosha’s mom does not want a lot of people there.”
“I’ll make it very worth your while,” I promised in a lower voice.
Karlie pursed her mouth then said, “Actually, I think I have just the solution.”
45
Karlie
“You’ve been booted off the island,” Gran informed the elderly man who half clung to her wheelchair. “I have a new boy toy!”
“But I wanted to go to the party,” the old man said sadly.
“You can wait in the lobby for me. Unless you want to have an after party tonight.” Gran waggled her eyebrows at Liam’s brother, who recoiled.
“Liam, this is unacceptable,” Greg hissed at his brother.
“Come here, handsome.” Gran blew Greg a kiss. “Don’t let a real woman scare you.”
“Gran, please mind your manners. Tosha’s mom is going to be on edge tonight as it is,” I begged.
“If she was anything like at the engagement party, she’s been drinking since ten a.m. and won’t remember a thing,” Gran said offhandedly.
Liam bit back a smile as Gran handed Greg a boutonniere.
“Is he going to be husband number three?” Liam asked then broke down in laughter. “Greg, you’re a brother husband.”
I never knew what the expression “if looks could kill” actually meant until I saw Greg’s face.
“Naw,” Gran said. “I’m done with that reverse-harem shit. There’s just not enough of me to go around. Guys were getting jealous. I just kept the one with the biggest dong and sent the rest back to the nursing home.”
The platinum-white-haired woman scowled when I walked into the venue with my weird little entourage. The Richmond brother next to her bristled.
Greg smirked.
“Isn’t that your ex?” I asked Liam uncertainly, confused about the dynamics.
“As if Liam could handle Belle Frost,” Greg sneered. “She’d chew him up.”
“Just like she did to Greg,” Liam said, rocking on his heels.
“I’d like a glass of wine, oh, dear boyfriend,” Gran said loudly before Greg could punch Liam. Greg stalked off to the open bar while Gran followed him in her wheelchair, telling everyone to look at the hot young thing she was dating.
Belle looked at Greg, and her eyes narrowed. “Are you out of your mind?” she said shrilly.
“Don’t talk to my boyfriend like that.” Gran swatted the tall woman with her large purse.
Greg smirked at Belle, who jumped out of the way.
“She’s really looking out for me.”
“She’s, like, a hundred,” Belle protested.
“No I’m not. I’m only eighty-five,” Gran yelled, handbag swinging.
“Wow, she has not aged well,” Liam said under his breath.
“It’s all that alcohol and hard living,” I deadpanned.
Greg and Belle were squaring off over Gran’s wheelchair.
“I better play bouncer,” Liam said, rushing over.
“So, you didn’t explode from embarrassment from the photo, I see,” Sophie remarked, appearing beside me with a stack of cake boxes.
“It actually worked out in my favor.” I took one of the boxes and helped her arrange the cupcakes on the dessert table. I grinned despite myself.
Sophie looked at my expression. “Oh my god.”
“Shhh.”
“Did you do it?” Sophie whispered.
“In the car,” I whispered back.
Sophie hit me in the arm and jumped up and down. I laughed.
“Oh my god, he’s totally into you—like, for real into you.” She poked me in the arm. “This is a growth moment for you. You are taking control of your sexuality. So are you now in Liam’s friends with benefits rotation?”
“He has a rotation?”
“Guys like him are players; they have rotations,” she said, adjusting her catering uniform.
I pursed my lips.
“Girl.” Sophie looked exasperated. “You’re just in this to make Marcus jealous and, as a bonus, have awesome sex.”
“I know. But I don’t want him to have a rotation.”
“Then you’re going to have to step up your game,” Sophie said pointedly. “Just lying there is not going to be interesting for him. You have to keep the novelty up if you really want to be his one true lay.”
I chewed on my lip.
Liam looked over at me, held up two wine glasses, and ambled through the crowd.
“Seize the day,” Sophie whispered, taking the empty boxes and heading back to the catering kitchen.
Liam handed me a glass of wine. He looked amazing in that tux. I wanted him, all of him.
You already lost one boyfriend. If you don’t step it up, Sophie will be right—you’ll never have a real chance with Liam.
And that was what I wanted—a real relationship with him. We were halfway there, right? Being Liam’s real girlfriend wasn’t out of the realm of possibilities. We went to events, he had met my parents, I met some of his family, and we hung out at the pool. Was it such a stupid idea that we could transition from fake boyfriend and girlfriend to real ones?
Sounds desperate and crazy.
But why not try? What did I really have to lose? It wasn’t like I was about to propose marriage to him. I would just be so amazing that at the end of our arrangement, I would casually suggest that maybe we keep it up. And let me stress casually. I was going to keep it very low-key and very not awkward.
Step one. Be fun and sexy. If I wanted a boyfriend, a shrine was not going to do it.
