Finding Forgiveness: Second Chance Romance/Enemies to Lovers, page 2
They would’ve worked things out in the end, those two are too close to let this end their friendship, so it makes me wonder if there is more to it. I feel like a cad for coming between them. It’s just another thing I can add to the long list of wrongs I’ve committed where Cassandra is concerned.
Was it that phone call she got? I have no clue who she was talking to, but whoever was on the other end of that line, upset her.
My mind drifts back to that moment—the same day Jacinta found Cassandra and me in bed together. It was a place I swore I’d never go again, but this woman has always been my weakness.
I’d stepped out of the shower and into a cloud of steam, rolling my shoulders and manoeuvring my head from side to side as I did. I was stiff all over from the workout I’d just done. I’d spent the few hours prior at the gym avoiding my arch nemesis, Cassandra Lewis, who had invaded my apartment once again.
I hated that I got a sick kind of thrill whenever she arrived, because the truth was having her around was torture. It was a constant reminder of the love I’d lost … of the woman I could never have. All these years later, I still couldn’t seem to let her go.
I’d tried, boy had I tried, but none of the other women I’d been with since her could spark even a fraction of the feelings Cassie evoked in me. It had been six years since she ghosted me and broke my heart, and I was still unable to completely move on.
Reaching for a towel, I scrubbed it over my face and through my wet hair. Fuck my life. It was way easier when I first moved to Sydney and didn’t have to see her anymore.
As I wrapped the towel low around my waist, I opened the bathroom door and stepped back into my bedroom. I wanted to hide in here for the rest of the afternoon, but I was starved after my workout.
As I walked towards my dresser to grab some clothes, I heard Cassie scream, “I hate you!” She hated who? Me? That was old news. “You ruined my life six years ago … I’ll never forgive you for that. Now you’re trying to destroy it completely, why can’t you just let me be?”
Her yelling was followed by a loud thud and then a wail … a blood-curdling scream that sent a shiver running down my spine. It was concerning. So much so I found myself turning and heading down the corridor that led to the room where she stays when she’s here.
I wasn’t sure who she was talking to, but I knew it wasn’t my sister. Those two never fought.
I lightly rapped my knuckle on her bedroom door, but instead of an answer, I heard a loud sob coming from inside. Without thinking, I reached for the doorknob. I don’t deal well with emotional females at the best of times, but my unease for her overrode that.
I’d only seen that woman cry twice in the ten years I’d known her. The first was the day I moved away for college, and the other was when Jacinta came to live with me in Sydney. This woman was typically a ball-busting rod of steal.
“Cass,” I said when I saw her sitting on the side of her bed. She was slumped over, and her head was buried in her hands. Her slender body convulsed with racking sobs. She was alone, but I spied her phone lying on the floor on the opposite side of the room, so I could only presume whoever she’d been screaming at had been on the other end of that line. “Cass,” I repeated a little louder.
That time, she heard me because she raised her face and when she saw me standing just inside the doorway her eyes widened. “Shit,” she mumbled, jumping to her feet and vigorously swiping her fingers over her cheeks. If she was trying to hide her tears, she was wasting her time. I’d already seen them.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Me? Yes,” she answered with a scoff, flicking her hand.
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“Then why are you crying?”
“Ugh. I was watching some random stuff on TikTok … you know those videos … the ones where the soldiers return home to surprise their families? They get me every time.”
My eyes narrowed. “I don’t believe you.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t care what you believe then, isn’t it, Maloney?”
“Don’t be a bitch, Cass, I only came in here to see if you were okay.”
“I’m sorry,” she said with a sigh before turning her face away. “I’m fine, really.”
I stood there unmoving because I could tell by the slump of her shoulders that she was anything but fine. When I noticed her reach up to swipe her hand under her eyes for a second time, my suspicions were confirmed.
“Cass.” I took a tentative step closer, followed by another.
“Don’t,” she said, raising her arm and holding her flattened palm out to me. “I can’t deal with your kindness right now, Con.” Her voice cracked as she spoke, so I ignored her plea and continued to close the distance.
As soon as she was within reach, I grasped her shoulders and turned her to face me. When I saw the tears cascading down her pretty face, I didn’t hesitate to pull her into my arms. It had been years since I’d held this woman, and I hated how good it felt, especially when she hugged me back and snuggled her face into my chest.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
I drew back slightly, cupping her jaw in my hands and tilting her face up. When our eyes met, I sucked in a sharp breath. The Cassie I first fell in love with when we were younger was a stunner, but the grown-up version … fuck me.
Ignoring the kaleidoscope of feelings only she could evoke, I exhaled. “Who were you on the phone with just now?”
“Nobody.”
My thumbs fanned out to wipe away the tears that continued to fall, and it hurt me to see her like this. “Talk to me, Princess.” It had been years since I’d called her that, and that word only managed to bring on a fresh wave of tears.
“I can’t … especially with you.”
Her statement stung. Cassandra had always been somewhat of a closed book. Even when we were a couple, she opened up a little about her home life, but I was always left feeling like there was more she wasn’t saying.
“I don’t know what I did to make you hate me so much.”
“I don’t hate you, Connor.” I wanted to scoff at her words, but I managed to rein it in. I wasn’t there to fight. Dumping all my hurt on her in that moment was the last thing she needed. When I remained silent, she reiterated her words. “I don’t … truly. Do you honestly think that?”
Did she even need to ask that question?
She’d been the only woman I’d ever professed my love to … she even said those words back, and then she ghosted me. Just thinking about that time had my gut churning. They were some of the darkest days of my life, and the worst part was I still didn’t know why.
“How could I not think that? The last time I drove away from you everything seemed fine. I told you I loved you and you said those words back, Cassie. You said those fucking words back! Then the following day you refused to take any of my calls and texts … I found out a week later from my sister that you were seeing that fucking douche from your school.” My hands dropped from her face and I retreated a step because all these years later, it still tore me up inside. “If you didn’t want to be with me you should’ve just said so, instead of stringing me along like you did.”
“Con,” she whispered, reaching for my hand and squeezing it. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?”
“Yes.”
“I guess I should be grateful that I’m getting an apology even if it took you six years,” I mumbled, turning my face away because I could no longer look at her.
“The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.”
My eyes narrowed as my gaze snapped back to her. “You didn’t just hurt me, Cass, you ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it.”
“I wasn’t lying when I said I loved you.”
“Hah!”
“I’m telling the truth.”
She spoke her words with conviction, but I still had my doubts. “Then why? Why did you treat me so poorly?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got all the time in the world.”
“I don’t want to get into it now.”
“I’ve waited long enough for an explanation don’t you think? You owe me that at least.”
“Mentally, I’m not up to that conversation.”
“Seriously?” I snapped as I shook my head and turned on my heels ready to storm from her room. I regretted coming in here. I owed this woman nothing, I reminded myself. She didn’t deserve my kindness after the way she’d treated me.
“Connor, wait.” She reached out to stop me from leaving and accidentally grabbed hold of the towel I was wearing. “Don’t go—” Her words were cut off and replaced with a gasp when I took another step forward and the fabric effortlessly slid out of the tuck around my waist. I was left standing there completely naked.
This stopped me in my tracks, and even though I was still incredibly pissed at her, or maybe I was just an arsehole, I spun around. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen me naked before. Although I’ll admit, Connor the boy and Connor the man were worlds apart. There was also a portion of me that wanted her to see what she’d been missing out on.
Nobody could have loved this woman as fiercely as I once had … and possibly still did.
Her greedy eyes immediately started to track down my body. Over my pecs, across my defined abs, and when her gaze reached the ‘V’ that led to my cock, she paused to stare. The heat in her eyes was palpable.
The instant she began to nibble on her plump bottom lip like she wanted to gobble me up, my dick started to swell. Could this situation between us be any more fucked up?
“Do you like what you see, Princess?” I asked as I unashamedly took a step in her direction. My legs seemed to have a mind of their own. I had no clue what I was doing, but I never did when it came to her.
Her eyes flickered up to meet mine for a brief second before gravitating straight back to my growing appendage, so I took another step. We were close enough now that I could feel her warm breath as it ghosted across my skin. I should’ve turned around and ran, only a fool would’ve stayed given our past, but I guess I was a glutton for punishment. This woman had always been my weakness.
I took another step until our bodies were flush. “You didn’t answer my question.” Tilting her head back, her wide eyes met mine. Her breathing had now become erratic, and I knew if my fingers were to slip underneath that sexy little dress she was wearing, I’d find her wet and just as turned on as I was. My hand rose and I used my forefinger and thumb to grip her chin. “I’m waiting,” I said, arching a brow.
She blinked her pretty caramel-coloured eyes a few times before answering, “Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, I like what I see.”
“Do you miss my cock, Cass?” What was I saying? This was a place I swore I’d never go again, and like a chump, I was clearly setting myself up for rejection because she’d made it clear she didn’t want me.
She swallowed thickly. “Yes.”
“Show me, Princess … show me how much you’ve missed it.”
It was a challenge I was in no way expecting her to accept, so I was powerless to stop the growl that permeated in the back of my throat when she dropped to her knees.
My fingers fisted in her long brown hair, tilting her face up towards mine. The sadness that was present in her eyes when I first walked into her room was now replaced with hunger. “Are you sure this is what you want?” I asked.
She nodded once, as her pink tongue darted out, skimming over her bottom lip. The logical side of my brain was already telling me this was a bad idea, but my dick seemed to be in control. I wanted this … I wanted her. I’d craved this woman for years.
“Open up?” I used my free hand to stroke myself a few times, and the moment she parted her pretty lips, I guided myself into her mouth.
Could I even trust this woman not to bite my cock off? I once thought I knew her, but I was evidently wrong.
Any rational thoughts I had vanished the second she expertly took me into the back of her throat. “Cass,” I groaned, tilting my head back.
The memories of the first time she did this were still vivid in my mind, her movements were awkward and clunky back then from her inexperience, but she managed to make me come so hard and so fast in a matter of minutes, because it was her. I’m not sure if she underestimated the depth of love I had for her back then, or if she simply didn’t care, but I had every intention of marrying her one day. She was my forever girl, or so I thought. The reality was she inadvertently turned out to be my biggest mistake.
She ruined me for all the others.
I pushed those thoughts from my mind. That ship had well and truly sailed, and I was not stupid enough to think this was any more than a distraction for her. A way to forget whatever was going on with her when I walked into her room. Was I a bastard for taking advantage of that? Probably. But in my defence, I’d been aching to be with her like this again. I was going to take whatever she was prepared to give, and I’d worry about the fallout this would bring later. For now, I was going to stay in the moment and enjoy having her again.
Both of my hands were now cradling the back of her head as I started to slowly pump into her mouth. The expertise she showed as she worked my cock over was something else I was choosing to compartmentalise. I didn’t even want to imagine how she gained her newfound skills, and with whom.
“Fuck,” I groaned through gritted teeth. It had been less than a minute and as soon as a tingle ran up the length of my spine and my balls tightened, I reluctantly drew back. When my dick exited her mouth with a pop, Cassandra tilted her head back slightly, and her confused eyes locked with mine.
One of my hands moved around to caress the side of her face. Don’t worry, Princess, I’m not done with you yet. If this was the only time I’d get to be with her again, then I was going to make the most of it.
I slid my hands under her arms and effortlessly pulled her to her feet. Once she was standing, I backed her into the wall and crashed my mouth into hers. I was grateful she didn’t push me away.
It seemed like an eternity had passed since our lips had touched. I groaned into her mouth when her fingers threaded into my hair, dragging me closer. My head was spinning. This was really happening.
My entire body was zinging back to life with the possibilities of what this could mean, but I couldn’t get ahead of myself here. I was only setting myself up for heartache if I did. She didn’t want me in the way I wanted her … she’d proven it over and over again, so I needed to hold on to that.
My hands travelled down the length of her torso until I reached the hem of her dress. I bunched up the fabric in my closed fists before dragging it up her body. I needed her naked. She pulled out of the kiss long enough for me to tear it over her head, and the moment I did, her lips immediately sought out mine again.
I moved to her bra next, because I needed to feel all of her. Skin to skin. I tossed it to the side as I did her dress, and dropped my face to press open-mouthed kisses along her jawline.
“I need you,” she whimpered.
I knew I’d regret going here after the fact, but I couldn’t seem to deny her. “I’ve got you, sweetheart.”
I palmed one of her spectacular tits in my hand, while my tongue lapped at the other.
“I need more, Con.”
She was always so responsive to my touch; I guess nothing had changed.
I raised her off the ground and she lifted her legs, wrapping them around my waist. My erection was now pressing into her core as I glided it back and forth over her clit. There was only a scrap of lace separating us. As desperate as I was to be inside her, I needed to take my time … to stretch this out as long as I could. Like a final hurrah. I never got this the last time we were together, because I had no clue the end was coming.
My hand moved along her outer thigh, and she moaned into my mouth when my fingers dipped under the elastic of her underwear. I almost blew my load when I felt how wet she was for me. “Cass,” I groaned when I pushed two fingers deep inside her slick heat.
“Oh, God,” she moaned when I crooked them to stimulate her G-spot. She somehow managed to open her legs wider, sinking further down onto my hand, and in a matter of moments, she fell over the edge. Her entire body shuddered as I continued thrusting my fingers inside her until I milked all the pleasure from her body.
When she went limp in my arms, I turned and took the few steps towards her bed, gently laying her down on the mattress.
Her hooded eyes made contact with mine, and I noticed a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. It was a far cry from the devastation I saw on her face when I first came in here. For that at least, I was glad. What was going to happen now? Was this where she told me to leave?
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“I am now, thanks.”
“Do you … umm, want me to go?”
She pulled herself up onto her elbows, and my eyes were drawn back to her perky tits. They were bigger, fuller … rounder than I remembered. She was all woman now, and although the word perfection didn’t seem to do her justice, it was the best I had in that moment.
“Do you want to go?” she asked.
The logical side of my brain was screaming, Yes! Get the hell out of here, you dumb fuck, before she does more damage to your heart. But being the obvious fool I am, I chose to ignore it.
“No, I want to stay right here, with you,” I answered.
If I could have locked myself in this room with her forever, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat.
I was still standing beside her bed watching her like a voyeur. She captured her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes tracked down my body. My dick was semi-hard and hanging heavily between my legs, but her intense stare had it turning to granite.
