Finding Forgiveness: Second Chance Romance/Enemies to Lovers, page 16
“Yes, that’s the mother’s name. The father is Chris P. Bacon.”
“What the hell. Please tell me you didn’t name them that?”
“No, Martha did, but she said I could name the babies.”
“Who’s Martha?”
“She’s from The Dancing Goat.”
“From the where … Cassie, are you drunk?”
“No!”
“Have you been smoking anything?”
“Of course not, I’m just high on life.” Bringing eight little lives into the world will do that to you.
“You’re not making any sense.”
“I’m making perfect sense,” I snap.
“You ignore all my calls and texts for over a week, then suddenly you ring me out of the blue looking like a dishevelled lunatic, talking about farm animals with obscenely offensive names and dancing goats, excuse me if I sound concerned.”
“I haven’t been ignoring you. I sent you a picture of me feeding Delilah a bottle.”
“So the goats have normal names?”
“Actually, its real name is Goaty McGoatface, but that’s a mouthful, so I call it Delilah for short.”
“In what universe is Delilah short for Goaty McGoatface? It would be Goaty, Goatface, McG … something along those lines.”
“Lame,” I scoff.
“Whatever. Is she the one who dances?”
“Who?”
“Goaty McGoatface. Or is it Martha?”
“Martha isn’t a goat,” I snap.
“Well, excuse me.”
“And Delilah is a boy.”
“See, just another reason why that name is stupid.”
“Hmm,” I hum sarcastically. “And for your information, there are no dancing goats, it’s just a legend … there’s no substantial proof that the goats actually ate the cherries from the Arabica tree and started dancing. Kaldi, the Ethiopian goatherder, was the one who supposedly witnessed it. Is he even credible?”
“Okay, I’m hanging up and dialling triple zero.”
“What? Why?”
“Because you’re either as high as a kite or you’ve finally lost the last of your marbles.”
“Wow,” I say, completely offended. “Maybe it’s me who should be hanging up on you.”
“No, please don’t hang up.”
“I rang you to share the greatest achievement of my life, and you’ve done nothing but rain on my parade. Rude much.”
“I’m sorry. Show me the piglets again.” I turn my phone around, leaning forward to get a close up. “They’re super cute … did you really birth them?”
“No, Porkchop did, I just helped.” I hear her laugh, but I ignore it. “This is,” I say, pointing to the firstborn… which is a cute little boy, “Harry Porker.” The vet was kind enough to school me on their sex when she was here. I continue down the line of piglets suckling on their mother. “Crackling, Spam, Pork Sausage, Pigtail, Jerky, Short Rib and Christine.”
“Christine?”
I roll my eyes. “She’s the only one who looks like her daddy, but it’s not like I could call her Chris … that’s a boy’s name. Duh.”
My eyes narrow when I hear her mumble, “But Delilah’s okay,” under her breath. It’s followed by, “Hold on a sec, I need to sit down, you’re making me dizzy.”
“Wow.”
“True story … I think you just broke my brain.”
“Why are you so crabby?”
“Why? I’ll tell you why. Firstly, my BFF flees the country.”
“I didn’t even leave the state,” I grumble.
“Can I continue?”
“Go right ahead.”
“My brother is falling apart; I’ve never seen him so … heartbroken.” I bow my head and rub that familiar ache in my chest. “Blake’s getting bullied at school again, and I think we’re going to have to bring the wedding forward because I skipped a period.”
Now it’s me who needs to sit down. I head towards the far wall and take a seat on one of the hay bales. “You’re PG?”
“I don’t know … I might be … I’ve been feeling a little off the past couple of days.”
My heart pangs as I think of my own baby, but despite that, I’m still elated for my friend. She deserves all the happiness. When we were younger, we made a pact that we’d marry best friends or brothers, and have our kids around the same time so they’d grow up to be close like us. Unfortunately, I can’t see that happening in my near future, if ever. Especially since her fiancé’s best friend now hates my guts.
Pushing that thought from my mind, I swallow down the lump in my throat and whisper, “I can’t believe I’m going to be an aunty.”
“I don’t know for sure yet.”
“How does Mason feel about it?”
“I haven’t told him. I need to do a test first.”
“You should probably do that. I wish I was there to hold your hand.”
“I do too, come home, Cass.”
“I’m not ready.” I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.
“You can’t stay away forever. We need to pick out our dresses while I can still fit in one. I don’t want to get married in a tent.”
“You won’t.”
“I can’t be walking down the aisle if I’m the size of a whale.”
“Please, you’re too tiny to look like a whale.”
“Have you seen the size of my fiancé? I’m pretty sure my stretchmarks will have stretchmarks from carrying his giant-arse kid in my stomach. I’m going to have to walk around holding up a wide-load sign.”
I roll my lips to muffle my laugh. “You’ll still be beautiful no matter how big you get.”
“Aww, thanks. You’re a good friend, Cass.”
“I’d rather have a friend with two chins than two faces.”
“God, I miss you. You better be back in time for my wedding, biatch, I’ll never forgive you if you’re not. I can’t get married without my matron of honour by my side … unless—”
“I’ll be there,” I growl, cutting her off. “If you even think of replacing me, I’ll murder you in your sleep, chop you up into little pieces and feed you to Chris P Bacon, that pig will eat anything.”
“I’m going to talk to Brooke today and see if it’s possible to bring the date forward. If it’s not, we may have to find another location.”
“It’ll all work itself out, Jaz. Now tell me, what’s going on with Blake?”
“He came home from school yesterday with a black eye.”
I gasp. “Oh my God.”
“I kept him home today, and Mason has an appointment with the school principal this afternoon. We’re not sending him back there until we know he’s going to be safe.”
“That’s good. Poor little guy.”
“I know, it breaks my heart. He’s taking it like a trooper, but I hate that for him. He’s been through so much in his short life. I cried myself to sleep last night.”
“Aww, Jazzie. I’m sorry. I wish I could slide my arms through the phone and hug you.”
“I wish that too.”
I blow out a puff of air and steal my shoulders before asking the question I wanted to know the most. “And Connor?”
“He’s a mess, Cass. He’s not taking it well at all.”
“He read the letter?”
“No. Mason went over there last night to try and cheer him up. He said the letter was still sitting on the table unopened.”
A sense of foreboding settles over me as I chew what’s left of my thumb nail. “Jaz, I need you to promise me something.”
“It depends what it is … it’s not illegal is it?”
“Of course not. I want you to be with Connor when he reads the letter. If he’s falling apart now, I’d hate to see what he’s going to be like when he learns the whole truth.”
Chapter 20
Connor
I’m surprised to find my sister in the apartment when I get home from work. I was only coming back here to change out of my suit. It’s been over a week since I’ve been to the gym, and I think a workout will do me good.
“Hey,” I say, placing my briefcase down and crossing the room to where she’s sitting. “Is everything okay? You look upset. Has something happened to Cassie?”
“She’s fine. I had a long talk with her today. She’s staying in a cabin on a farm. She helped a pig give birth to her piglets today … all by herself.”
“Wow,” I say, nodding my head once. “It’s not something I’ve ever imagined her doing, but good for her.” Although I meant it, those words taste bitter in my mouth.
“How are you doing? How was work?”
“Same, same, and I’m doing okay.”
She arches one of her eyebrows, sceptically. “Are you really? Because even Mason is worried about you. He said you were distant last night.”
I throw my hands in the air. “What do you want me to say, Jaz? That I’m struggling to come to terms with the fact that the woman I’ve loved for years has been lying to me? Or that I lost a child I didn’t even know existed?”
“If that’s how you feel, then yes.”
“There’s just so many unanswered questions.” My eyes dart to that damn letter that’s been haunting me. This morning I even considered throwing it away, but I knew I’d regret it if I did.
“You need to read the letter, Con.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Cassie asked me about it today. I think you’re going to find your answers in there.”
“What if I don’t.”
“I’m pretty sure you will.”
“Do you know what it says?”
“No, but she asked me to be here with you when you read it. She’s worried about how you’re going to react when you find out the whole truth.”
“What does that even mean?”
“I don’t know,” she says as she walks over to the dining room table and picks it up. When she extends her arm towards me, I feel like I’m going to puke. “It’s time. You won’t be able to move forward if you’re stuck in limbo.”
Begrudgingly, I take it out of her hand and move over to the sofa. Jacinta follows, coming to sit beside me. My hands slightly shake as I tear open the flap. I don’t want to do this, but my sister’s right. I need answers, and this may be the only way I’ll get them.
I intake a large breath and hold it as I remove the letter and unfold it.
Dearest Connor,
First and foremost, I’m sorry. It’s been a heavy burden that’s been weighing me down for years. I knew the truth was going to hurt you, but that’s not why I stayed silent. You had a right to know, I’ve always felt that, but I had my reasons for not telling you.
That may seem like an excuse, but believe me, it isn’t. I was a kid when all of this happened, Con, we both were, and although I knew right from wrong back then, I believed my mother when she said she’d destroy you. Hence why I broke my own heart to protect you. And I’d do it again and again if need be, that’s how much you mean to me. My love for you has no limits.
The last night we were together, I knew I was pregnant. I’d known for a few days. It’s not something I could tell you over the phone, or via text, so I’d planned on telling you that weekend—face to face.
But when you drove me home that night, you were stressing about your end of year exams, and it didn’t seem right to put such a heavy burden on your shoulders at that time. This news was life changing for both of us. So, against my better judgement, I kept quiet.
Your end of year break was around the corner, so I decided it would be best if I waited. It’s one of my biggest regrets, because things may have turned out differently for us … for our baby, if I’d just told you then and there. I had no foresight to what was awaiting me when I walked through the front door of my house that night, I would’ve run straight back into the safety of your arms if I had.
That last sentence has me sitting up straighter in my seat. What happened to her when she got home? The next two words I read have a chill running down my spine. My mother.
My mother had found the pregnancy test in my room, and although she’s always been vicious with her words, it was the first time she’d ever physically struck me. For hours I had to listen to her ranting and raving about what a terrible person I was … a letdown and an embarrassment to my family.
The next morning, she was different, nicer, caring even. She was lulling me into a false sense of security, and I fell for it. She took my phone away and told me I needed to stay home from school and rest. She gave me a vitamin … she said it was to help the baby, and again I believed her. The following afternoon she got me to take another one.
I think you can guess by now that the pills weren’t vitamins. Within an hour of taking the second pill, my life as I knew it started to unravel. I laid on the bathroom floor for hours, Con, calling out for help, soaked in my own blood, but she ignored me. By the time she finally came, it was too late. Our baby was gone.
When I asked her what had she done, she told me she’d taken care of it, and that I was welcome. Can you believe a human being could be so cold? I never would’ve suspected she’d stoop as low as killing her unborn grandchild, but that’s exactly what she did.
Two days later she sent me back to school, but I was under strict instructions to have no contact with you. She called you a predator and threatened to have you charged, which you and I both know would’ve ruined your career before it even started.
I pleaded with her, and told her I was at the age of consent before we had sex, but it didn’t matter. She said she had ways of proving otherwise. I couldn’t let her do that to you, so I did as she asked, and kept quiet.
I drop the letter to the floor and stand abruptly. I’ve read enough. I take a few deep breaths as I dig the heels of my palms into my eye sockets. The rage I’m feeling is like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my life.
A million fucked-up scenarios run through my head, because I will avenge my child, but first things first.
My feet are moving before it even registers.
“Where are you going?” Jacinta asks as I stalk towards the front door.
“Mudgee.”
It’s close to midnight by the time I arrive at my destination. Jacinta managed to stop me at the door, trying to talk me into making a plan first instead of running off half-cocked. The truth was she was worried about my intentions for going after Cassie, but she had no reason to be.
Once I explained why I needed to see her, she was on board. We lost an hour looking into flights—which would be fifty minutes, as opposed to almost four hours by car—we even tried to book a helicopter, but neither were available until morning. I couldn’t wait that long, so I got in my vehicle and hit the road.
Knowing it would be late when I arrived, I had planned on renting a room for the night, but I was too antsy to sleep. So instead, I programmed in the address from Jacinta’s tracker and headed straight here. I’m now parked outside the property, and all I can do now is wait for the sun to rise.
I’m jolted from my sleep by a loud banging sound. I’m somehow slumped over the steering wheel, and my sudden movement sounds the horn, which manages to startle me further. I turn to look out the side window and immediately shield my eyes from the blinding light that’s shining in from the outside.
“Get out of the car,” the stern voice says. I wind down my window in my sleepy haze, which probably isn’t the wisest move since I’m currently parked in the middle of nowhere. It’s only then I see the barrel of a gun pointing at my face. “I said get out of the car.” I hold my hands up in front of me. “Now, or I’ll blow that pretty little head of yours right off those … big broad shoulders.”
The gruffness of her initial words have now turned somewhat seductive. It leaves me a little perplexed; am I getting robbed, hit on, or both?
I leave one hand in the air, using the other to reach for the door handle as I reluctantly exit the vehicle. “Why are you parked outside my property?” the woman asks.
“You’re property?”
“That’s what I said, didn’t I?”
“Martha?”
“How do you know my name?” she sneers, poking the barrel of the gun into my chest. “Who are you?”
“My name is Connor … Connor Maloney. I’m looking for Cassandra, I believe she’s staying with you.”
“Hmm,” she hums, running the torch down the length of my body and pausing a fraction too long around the crotch area for my liking. “I’d like to see some ID.”
“Okay.” I lower one of my arms and slip my hand into the back pocket of my trousers to remove my wallet. I flick it open and the torch is lowered in that direction. Only then does she drop the gun and take a step back. My eyes remain fixed on her as she turns and shuffles around the front of the vehicle towards the passenger side. “You can drive me back up to the house, it’s a bit of a hike from here, and I’ve been on my feet all day.” I stand there stunned when she opens the door and lowers herself inside. “Come on, young man, I don’t have all night.”
Against my better judgment, I get back in the car. The interior light is still on, so I use this time to take in the woman sitting beside me. She’s a lot older than I surmised. The tips of her grey hair are dyed hot pink. There are two neat rows of rollers along the top and glasses sitting low on her nose. There’s a fluffy, leopard-print dressing gown wrapped around her short, stubby body, and long, bright-red gumboots on her feet. The shotgun that was just trained on me is now resting between her slightly parted legs.
“Is that thing loaded?” I ask, pointing towards the gun.
“Pfft,” she huffs. “What do you think?”
“Do you even know how to use it?”
She curls her hand around the barrel and lays it across her lap. “Would you like me to show you? I once shot a moving wild boar right between the eyes from fifty metres away.” I stare at her, and the serious look on her face tells me that’s exactly what happened. “Are we going to sit here all night? I’m not getting any younger,” she grumbles.
