The Thick of Things, page 3
Only then did I realize the ceremony had ended and people were moving around the room.
Douglas rose and I forced myself not to watch him walk away. His lounge suit covered impressive shoulders and a fit body.
As the people around me settled into groups, I wondered if it wouldn’t be a good idea to disappear before Douglas returned. The more I considered it, the better I liked the idea. I had wrapped my scarf around my arms and was on my feet, a few steps from where Douglas left me, when he intercepted me.
“Going somewhere?”
“Um, I was going to the ladies’ room.”
He held out the glass as if he hadn’t heard me. “One day, I suppose you’ll tell me.”
“Tell you what?”
“Why you’re trying to avoid me.”
“I’m not really—”
He moved his head slowly from side to side. “Don’t lie about it. You’ve been trying to escape from me the whole evening.”
“You can believe whatever you like.”
He pulled his head back in a gesture I found funny. “Is that all you’ve got?”
My lips twitched and my smile broke free. “Yes, and I’m sticking to it.”
Douglas laughed, a low, husky sound that sent shivers chasing through my stomach. I folded one arm around my waist and held on to my glass as if it were a lifeline. His smile made me want to reciprocate, but I was so dazzled all I could do was swallow hard and blink as if I were a teenager who had come into the orbit of a movie star.
I drank some of the punch, taking in too much in one mouthful. As I swallowed, I hoped the rum would act fast so I’d mellow out quickly. It warmed my throat and settled in my belly, making me feel heavy and full.
“So…” He slid a hand into his pants pocket and cocked his head. “What is it about me that gives you the urge to run in the opposite direction?”
“I have to give you points for persistence.”
He shrugged. “I make my money by studying different markets, so I’m patient…and persistent, like you said.”
I got the impression he was giving me a message, but I ignored that since I wasn’t in the market for romance in any form. Not even a fling, which wasn’t my style anyway.
“That’s good to know,” I said, deliberately sounding casual. I didn’t want Douglas thinking I was interested in him, no matter what my body felt about the matter. Being with him in my mind was all kinds of erotic and exciting, but now that we were together, I didn’t have a clue how to navigate through what I sensed would be a dangerous minefield. One I had no business contemplating.
“Anything else?” he asked, tipping one eyebrow.
I narrowed my eyes, wondering what I’d missed. Then, what he asked came to mind. With a smile, I said, “By nature I’m cautious, so when a man like you is taking interest it makes me wonder what that’s all about.”
“A man like me?” His eyebrow climbed again. “Should I be offended?”
“Not at all. I just mean you look like you’ve been around the block a few times.”
“And that makes me unsuitable for a lady such as you?”
“I never said that.”
When he smiled, I realized he’d neatly trapped me with my words.
“If you want to prove me wrong, I’ll give you the opportunity to do so.”
Against my will, I angled my head forward intrigued in spite of myself. “What d’you mean?”
“Have dinner with me tonight.”
I scanned the room, letting my gaze rest on the food stations to our right.
“That’s finger food,” Douglas said. “I’m talking about the real deal. We can stay on property, if you prefer.”
I liked the idea of breaking bread with him all right, and that disturbed the heck out of me. I wasn’t sanctimonious or overly religious, but there was the business of the divorce to be finalized in the next few weeks. This conversation with Douglas was going at warp speed and the end result would likely be me losing control of the situation, if I wasn’t careful. My mouth opened and though I planned to offer him an apology, I heard myself saying yes to his invitation.
One side of his mouth lifted. “For a moment there, I thought you were going to say no.”
“I was.”
One of his thick brows rose again. “But?”
I laughed to lighten the moment, but felt as if I was about to drown in a sea of anticipation that could turn treacherous at any moment. What he was proposing was nothing out of the ordinary for two people who were attracted to each other, but I stood on the brink of something I wasn’t ready to explore. “You must be more charming than I realize.”
His doubtful expression told me he didn’t believe a word I’d just said.
Neither did I.
He put his glass down and cupped my elbow. With his other hand, he removed the tumbler from mine and placed it next to his drink on the table behind me. “Forgive me if I don’t believe whatever that was a while ago.”
Contact with him was making me sluggish and it was hard to move my feet.
“What would you prefer to have? Continental, Italian, Jamaican?”
“Ugh…”
“You have to give me more than that, Khalila.” His cheeky grin shot sparks straight to my belly and left me off-balance.
I needed to collect myself before he started thinking I was an idiot. The contact with him and the rum in my stomach were a potent combination, which set off alarm bells inside me. Suddenly, I didn’t want to be in close proximity to this man because being around him was dangerous. He stirred something in me that made me faintly dissatisfied with my current situation and I wasn’t ready to move beyond the point I was at now.
Douglas squeezed my elbow gently and his breath brushed my ear. “Are you ready to go?”
His words brought me back to my senses.
I really had no business stepping out with this gorgeous man when I didn’t yet have the right to do so. He wasn’t offering anything beyond dinner and companionship, but suddenly, I wasn’t comfortable spending time with him in what would likely be a private setting.
Our eyes met and I knew immediately that Douglas somehow understood what was going on in my mind.
He exhaled and released my arm. Easing both hands into his pockets, Douglas looked at his shoes. Then he gazed at me, waiting for something.
I hated him for putting this on me, but knew what he was doing. He wanted me to put my change of heart into words. For the longest time, Trent and I had skirted around issues instead of dealing with them, which made it increasingly difficult for me to express myself openly.
What giving Douglas an explanation was supposed to accomplish, I didn’t know nor did I want to think on it. All I knew was that going out with him tonight wasn’t the right thing to do. If he was aware of my circumstances, he might think me old-fashioned but I didn’t want to test that theory. What was happening in my life wasn’t his business in any case.
I backed up a little and looked him in the eyes. “I’m sorry, I’ve changed my mind.”
His nod was curt, but his eyes radiated kindness. Maybe I wanted to delude myself, but that’s what I saw.
Easing farther from him, I said, “I’m sorry.”
I walked away, cursing myself for being silly. It was one thing to act right, but I didn’t know what purpose I’d served by depriving myself of the company of a fine man. Being with him would have kept me occupied for a while and that was better than being by myself.
I pulled my phone out of my purse and speed-dialed Corinne’s number. She’d give me a kick in the pants and chew me out for feeling sorry for myself. She knew me inside out and had been doing the job of saving me from myself since we’d both been in high school.
She answered without a greeting, as usual. “Something must be up for you to be calling me when you’re supposed to be at a function.”
“Yeah, I just talked myself out of having dinner with a man you’d like.”
“Is he tall, dark, and as rich as Croesus?”
“He’s tall, dark, and has some disposable income from what I can tell.”
“You mean you actually noticed?”
I laughed, picturing her wide eyes opening even more as she teased me. “Yes, I did. Actually, he’s played in several events, but I met him last year. He didn’t approach me directly until now.”
“Is this the chocolate god you mentioned from the tournament?”
“That’s him.”
“Sweet, so what made you turn down his offer, other than the fact that you probably think it’s sacrilege to be out with him before the ink has set on your divorce papers?”
“It just didn’t feel right.”
“I keep telling you, life isn’t orderly. Sometimes stuff just happens. You’ve been married so long, you’ve forgotten what it means to be spontaneous and have unexpected things come your way.” Her tone was gentle when she continued. “I bet you never thought a man would be looking at you all gooey-eyed after you convinced yourself you’re overweight and ugly.”
“He was far from gooey-eyed, as you put it. This man is mature and collected.”
“Bully for you, girlfriend. Make sure you snap a picture of him so I can see who has you shaken up like this.”
“FYI, I am far from shaken up, as you put it.”
“So you say, but it’s not every day you call to say you have a man interested in you. Give God thanks someone likes you like that and stop exhausting your brain. Next time he asks you out, say yes.”
“I should have known better than to think you’d have serious advice to offer.” I was used to sparring with her like this. She knew how to pull me out of my funk, and I felt better already.
Corinne laughed and I was sure she was busy twisting the twig-like dreads she’d been wearing now for a few months. “You know my motto. Enjoy life because you never know when it will end.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
“Girl, you know I am. Hang on a sec.”
A muffled conversation took place while I waited. She came back shortly after that. “By the time I get there on the weekend, you better tell me something’s changed.”
“It’s not like I can wave a magic wand and make stuff happen.”
Corinne laughed, as if I’d said something funny. “Stranger things have happened. Good night, love. Talk to you soon.”
“Yeah, take care.”
Most likely, I’d interrupted Corinne in the middle of something with the Rasta man she’d been getting to know for the last month. She lived her life the way I wished I could live mine—without expectation that relationships would last forever and full acceptance that worrying didn’t change anything. That was easier said than done because our disposition was different. Corinne had a devil-may-care approach to most things that I’d never relaxed enough to embrace.
When I entered the room I was sharing with Nica, I threw the phone on the bed and switched on the television. The muted chatter from the news magazine program would keep me company. I didn’t want to be reminded of what I’d left behind downstairs or what I was possibly missing out on because of decorum and a misguided sense of loyalty.
four
He wasn’t wearing cologne this morning, but I knew he was near. Douglas smelled of bath soap, deodorant, and manliness. As corny as the thought was, I believed something in him called to something in me.
I was about to turn away from the trays of fruit when he came and stood beside me. Instead of fleeing, I held my ground, blindly reaching for whatever landed inside the pair of tongs in my hand.
“You smell good,” he said, startling me.
I settled my nerves and took a few seconds to respond. “That’s usually the case.”
“I have no doubt,” he said, wearing a devilish grin.
My snappy response surprised me. I was proud of myself for not acting spellbound, although I was. There was just something about this man.
After last night, I expected Douglas to avoid me, but his eyes were clear, as if he had no memory of what happened between us.
I glanced sideways at him. “I’m sorry.”
“You keep saying that.”
“You know why.”
He shrugged and moved the plate he carried from one hand to the other. “What’s done is done. I assume you had a good reason.”
My gaze strayed from him to the tourists joining the line at the entrance of the restaurant.
Nica waved at me from a table across the room, pulling my attention. I nodded to let her know I’d seen her, then looked up at Douglas. “I guess I’ll see you later. You need to get moving.”
He chuckled, charming me all over again. “Yes, I do. I wouldn’t want to be disqualified on day one of the competition.”
As he moved toward the juice station, I watched him go. Today, his golf shirt and shorts were a matching shade of khaki and his loafers were a tad darker.
I imagined I made a strange picture, staring at him while standing in the path of people making food selections. To cover my lapse, I picked up a few more slices of pineapple. Then I lifted the plate I’d fixed with breakfast food from the counter before going to the seat Nica saved for me.
“You don’t have much on your plate, considering how long you’ve been over there,” Nica said, when I sat opposite her.
“Couldn’t make up my mind,” I said.
Her smile was wide and mischievous. “Or could it have to do with the man you were talking to just now?”
I didn’t want her to think there was anything between Douglas and me, so I ensured my tone was casual when I said, “Not at all. We were just exchanging small talk.”
Another impish grin took over Nica’s face. “All the same, he’s a good-looking man.”
I wasn’t ready to admit that to myself much less openly, possibly because I had a certain type—more along the lines of what Trent looked like—but Douglas had presence and something that drew me to him. As I picked up a pineapple slice, I nodded. “Yes, he’s okay.”
Nica looked over her shoulder. “If you ask me, he’s more than okay. Fine, in fact.”
I wasn’t sure if her conversation was innocent or whether she was trying to find out something with her leading comments, so I stayed quiet. As a waiter went past, I stopped him and asked for a cup of coffee. He served me while making small talk and when he left, I prayed Nica was finished with Douglas.
He sat six tables away, slathering jam on his toast. While he did, he talked with two other men with him. Of the three of them, he was the darkest, the tallest, and the best looking. Why I was comparing him with them, I didn’t know. Perhaps my thoughts were a carryover from Nica’s earlier observation.
She said something, but I didn’t hear a word and needed time to figure out what it was. Apparently, her comment wasn’t important because she didn’t expect an answer.
“I’m ahead of you,” she said, getting to her feet. “Take your time.”
She’d deal with any questions from players who came to the office early. I appreciated that since I hadn’t started on my eggs and sausages. “Okay. Thanks.”
I sipped coffee, breathing in deeply, suddenly grateful for the new day. Since Amir’s death, it wasn’t often that my mornings got off to a great start, but I was getting better. As I laid the cup back on the saucer, my gaze strayed to the left again.
Douglas was on his feet and about to leave the table. I glanced at his plate. From what I could tell, he’d only had coffee and toast. Certainly not enough food to keep a man his size energized for any length of time. Most likely, he’d take snacks on the course with him or purchase them from the roving cart.
Perhaps he felt my eyes on him because looked directly at me.
I felt as if I was under a microscope and wanted to disappear, but that wasn’t an option. Smiling slightly, I held his gaze and when he nodded, I mouthed, “Play well.”
From the movement of his lips, I assumed he told me thanks.
My willpower and good sense ensured I didn’t watch him leaving. I might be inexplicably attracted to him, but not enough to lose all sense of decorum. The empty seat across from me brought Trent to mind. I missed having someone to share breakfast and conversation. Half the time Trent read the paper at the table, but I liked knowing he was there despite his silence.
Douglas replaced Trent in my thoughts. What would it be like to share a meal with him? Was he a talker, or did he prefer to read at breakfast?
Before my mind went too far off track, I halted my mental wanderings. It was unlikely that I’d ever be in that position with him, so daydreaming was a waste of time.
I finished my breakfast, picked up an apple from the buffet, and went upstairs to the tournament office. When I arrived, I found more players milling around than Nica could deal with so I got straight into the thick of things, fielding questions and handing out gift bags to late arrivals, as well as the event information sheet.
Close to midday, I applied sunblock to my skin and waited for the lunches to arrive. Our volunteers on the course could not leave their positions, so their midday meal had to be delivered to them. The prepackaged boxes were already set up on a golf cart for delivery.
I sat next to the driver chatting with him as we drove on to the golf course. The first couple of stops were uneventful and being outside was pleasant. The wind on my face was warm, but the beauty of the variety of trees, cleverly-placed bunkers, and manicured grass made up for the heat.
As we kept to the side of the undulating fairways and came to the crest of a hill, we stopped to allow a group to tee off. I’d seen the three players before, but Douglas drew my eyes immediately. He addressed the ball and seconds later, took a smooth backswing. His follow-through and finish were flawless and the ball sailed through the air to land in the middle of the fairway.
“Shot!” His playing partners cried as they watched the ball fly.
I hoped Carlos, the caddie driving the cart, would allow them to walk ahead of us instead of driving past. He didn’t, and so I was forced to say hello as we trundled past them where they still stood near the tee box. Two of the men waved, while Douglas tipped his cap and gave me that slow smile I found captivating.
