After We Fall, page 11
part #1 of A Dare With Me Series Novel Series
He was quiet for a minute, then took a quick breath. “I talked to Diego.”
“What?!” I yelped.
“All I told him was I had feelings for you. I didn't tell him anything had happened.”
“Oh my God. I can't believe you did that.”
“Harley, I had to say something. You know it'll come down on me if he finds out any other way.”
“Well, you didn't have to say anything!” I ground out between gritted teeth.
“Could you just listen? Sit down, please.”
“Fine.” I plunked on the couch, shimmying back into the corner of the sectional while he sat beside me.
“I do have feelings for you.”
“Well, if you had feelings for me, you should’ve told me, not my brother.”
“Would you listen to what I said?”
I tried to take a breath as my heart hammered in my chest. “You have feelings for me?” I repeated.
“Yeah.”
“Well, the sex is hot.” I tried to divert.
“You know that's not what I mean, and I don't think I'm alone.” As I tried to absorb his words, he pressed on, “I didn't expect this, but I don't want to screw this up.”
“Why didn't you talk to me before you talked to Diego?”
“Because I don't want this to blow up.”
“You don't want to blow this up so you talk to my brother about it?” I countered, my tone sharp.
“All I told him was I had feelings for you. I didn't tell him anything has happened.”
“He's not stupid,” I muttered.
Grant leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and running his hands through his hair. The sound of him taking a deep breath was audible. He lifted his head, his eyes meeting mine. The look there was earnest and intent.
My heart started pounding an echoing drumroll through my body, the crescendo building. So much of what had passed between us since we finally gave in was more than I’d ever expected. Grant wasn't alone. I swallowed, feeling cast adrift on a tide of emotion. The rush of it was enough to sweep me away.
I took another shaky breath. All the while, he watched me quietly. It all felt like too much. Even though I was stubborn and never wanted to back down, I looked away first. I swallowed, my chest feeling tight. My throat was knotted with an unfamiliar emotion.
“Are you okay?” Grant asked.
I heard the rustle of movement, and then he was sitting beside me, sliding his arm around my shoulders.
I shifted, curling into the curve of his shoulder. Grant was everything I didn't want to need, much less want. He was strong, solid, and protective. I didn't need a man to protect me.
I hated how vulnerable I felt with him. Yet that was the tricky part. I hated it, yet I couldn't hide it. I couldn't deny that I trusted him down to my bones.
I would not cry. I would not. Grant, because I sensed he knew I needed not to be pushed, simply held me close with one arm curled around my shoulders.
I pressed my cheek against his chest, the sound of his steady heartbeat soothing me. I finally gathered the courage to lift my head and look him in the eyes again.
“Are you okay?” he repeated.
I nodded. “I'm still annoyed.” I mustered enough sass to say that.
His lips twitched at the corners. “I understand. You can be annoyed.”
“Of course, I can be annoyed. I am annoyed.”
“I should have talked to you about it before I said anything to Diego,” he said earnestly.
“You should have,” I agreed emphatically, lifting my chin.
He angled toward me, lifting a hand to smooth my hair away from my face, his thumb tracing along the edge of my jaw. That subtle touch was like the lick of a flame across the surface of my skin.
“How do I fix it?” he asked.
“Well, you can't unsay whatever you said to Diego. You can rest assured Diego isn't going to forget it.”
“I know. Do you want me to talk to him again? I will.”
“You already screwed it up,” I pointed out.
“Harley, I didn't screw it up.”
“It's okay,” I said softly.
He went quiet with his eyes studying mine. I felt as if he was peeling away all of my defenses, the armor that had served me so well. Speaking of my defenses, I should have been cranky, way crankier than I was about him talking to Diego. Yet the second his lips brushed against mine, I forgot everything.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Harley
The following day I had my appointment with Dr. Quinn or Quinn. I couldn't even get his name right. The whole thing made me too anxious.
“So you’ve had one episode since we met, but it was brief. How are you feeling?” he asked politely.
I shrugged casually. I was determined to downplay this. I could will myself through it. I knew I could.
“I'm fine. I’m ready to start the medication. I thought about it, and you're right. It's not worth the risk.” Maybe I was skirting the details, but I was willing to listen to him.
Quinn nodded. “It's easy enough to manage. If you do well on the medication, it should minimize your symptoms.”
“Will I have this for the rest of my life?”
“Yes.”
I sighed. “That sucks. I'm young and healthy.”
“On the list of medical issues to deal with, this is very manageable. Diabetes is much more common and causes far more problems.”
“I guess I didn't think of it that way.”
“It helps to put things in context. We'll start you on a low dose of a beta blocker and see how you do on that. If you have any side effects, let me know right away. We’ll try to dial in the right dose to minimize your episodes.”
“I'm hoping the lowest dose will work,” I said firmly.
He simply nodded, and I thought he was keeping something from me. Being me, I demanded, “Are you trying to hide something from me?”
“No.” He chuckled. “You may do well on this dose, but based on your symptom pattern, we'll probably need to increase the dose.” I wrinkled my nose and narrowed my eyes. He shrugged. “I'm just being honest.”
“I know.” I let out a sigh. “Fine.”
“Schedule a follow-up on your way out. I’d like to see you in three weeks.”
I stood with him, and he held the door for me as I walked into the hallway. He caught me lightly by the elbow just as I was about to turn toward the exit. “Yes?” I prompted.
“Thank you for trusting me and for trying the medication.”
“I know you're the expert,” I said grudgingly. “I tried it my way, and it didn't work.”
“Let's see how it goes. Talk to you in a few weeks.”
When I walked out into the waiting area, Diego was there. He stood from a chair when he saw me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, not even bothering to keep the annoyance out of my tone.
“I saw your car and figured you had an appointment.”
“Doesn’t my privacy matter here?” I glanced at the receptionist.
She had a headset on and was talking to someone.
My brother rolled his eyes. “I can come in and talk to you.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Diego. I'm fine. I'm starting the medication.” I held up a piece of paper.
“What's that?”
“It's my prescription. Quinn called it into the pharmacy and gave me the printout, which explains my dose and all the small print stuff.”
Diego reached for the paper, and I snatched it back, folding it quickly and putting it into my purse. “I will keep you posted.”
I walked to the reception desk, took care of my copay, and scheduled my next appointment before we walked out together. He was parked right beside my car.
“You know I love you, right?” He looked down at me.
“I love you too,” I muttered. Since this was already a fun, awkward convo, I decided to tackle the next looming topic. “I understand Grant spoke with you.”
Diego’s brows hitched up. “Oh, he told you he talked to me?”
“He did, and I have one thing to say.”
“I'm sure you have something to say,” he retorted.
“Stay out of it.”
“Does that mean you have feelings for him?” he countered.
I felt heat flash into my cheeks. Diego’s brows practically lifted past his forehead. “Wow. I was actually kind of feeling for him. I thought you'd slap him down quick.” He cocked his head to the side, looking thoughtful. “Actually, this is probably worse for him.”
“What's worse for him?”
“You having feelings for him. If you're even considering this, you have feelings for him.”
“Fine,” I muttered. “If he hurts me, I'll take care of myself.”
“You’re my little sister,” he said as if that explained everything and gave him some kind of pass to stick his nose into my business. “How would you feel if Gemma hurt me?”
Ah. He had me there. “Fine. Could you just stay out of it?”
“No, I can't. I don't want the details, but Grant talked to me about it, so I can't stay out of it. Plus, I trust him. He told me he was worried about you when you fainted.”
I growled in my throat. “Whatever.”
Diego held my gaze for a long minute before he stepped closer and pulled me into one of his bear hugs. I squeezed him back, smiling when he stepped away.
“Love you, sis.”
“You're supposed to love me. You're my big brother.”
He grinned. “I don't have to, though.”
Though I was annoyed at him for nosing into my life, my lips twitched with a smile. “I love you too. Now, don't get nosy about Grant and me.”
He rolled his eyes, waiting while I climbed in my car and drove away.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Harley
The following day, time got away from me. I meant to go over to the lodge for breakfast as the situation in our refrigerator was looking bleak. I had a video conference on a graphic design project, then dived into work, forgetting everything until I went to stand. I was starving and almost light-headed. I stuffed my feet into my shoes and hurried through the trees to the lodge.
Daphne always kept leftovers around. I realized my mistake as I stepped into the back hallway. My heart felt funny, the beats too fast. It felt almost as if my heart stumbled. I saw black dots on the edges of my vision. That was the last thing I remembered until I heard Daphne saying my name. She sounded far away.
“Harley,” she repeated.
I blinked my eyes open. She was kneeling beside me, her worried eyes widening the moment mine opened. “Oh, thank God.” She sat back on her heels and let out a deep sigh.
“I'm fine,” I said.
“Um, you were unconscious.”
When she put her hands on her hips and gave me a sort of concerned glare, I almost burst out laughing. Except I felt weak, and, apparently, I’d just fainted in the back hallway at the lodge. Fuck my life.
“I'm fine. It's this heart thing I have.”
“I know, you’ve mentioned it before, but—”
I cut her off. “It's not a big deal. I just started medication for it. My heart skips a beat here and there, and it can get a little out of whack. I need to be careful about not having my blood sugar get low or anything like that. I skipped breakfast this morning. We don't have anything over there. Please don’t mention this to anyone.”
Daphne studied me quietly. “I sent Cat into town for errands because she has practice tonight for her play. It’s just you and me.”
She deftly avoided agreeing not to tell anyone. I knew Daphne would say something to Flynn, and Flynn would say something to Diego and Grant. Well, whatever. I resigned myself to the inevitable.
“Should we sit for a minute?” she asked.
“I'm lying flat on my back,” I pointed out. She rolled her eyes. “And you're already sitting,” I added.
“I am.”
Daphne fussed over me, helping me up and herding me into the kitchen, where she sat me down at the table and made me tea. She cooked an omelet, insisting that I needed the protein. I probably did.
She sat with me at the table, nibbling on a leftover scone. “Can I have a scone for dessert?” I asked.
She smiled at me, her eyes twinkling. “Of course. You're another scone lover.”
“I like the subtle flavor. They're always a little buttery too.” I finished the last bite of my omelet.
She took a sip of coffee before asking, “So how are things with Grant?”
I almost choked on the sip of water I’d just taken. “I'm sorry, what?” I asked after I dabbed the water on my chin with a napkin.
Her lips curled in a knowing smile. “You must know he told Diego he has feelings for you. It’s pretty obvious to me that you two have the hots for each other. It’s definitely a two-way street. I was just wondering how long it would take. After Cat moved out to the staff house, I figured she would be the unwitting chaperone.”
I felt my cheeks heating and ignored it. I mentally sighed and decided to take the honest approach. “Things with us are good.”
“Really?” She looked a little surprised I’d shared anything.
“Don't be so surprised. If I'm going to tell anybody, it's you.”
“Really?” she repeated, her gaze genuinely curious.
“I trust you. You might mention it to Flynn, but you won't give him the juiciest details.”
She laughed softly. “True. So this is a thing?”
“Oh yeah, it's totally a thing. I just didn't want Diego to know it’s a thing already. Please don’t let Flynn in on that detail.”
“I’ll keep it vague.” She made the cross in front of her heart.
“There was a…” I paused, uncertain what I was trying to explain.
“A spark?” she offered helpfully.
I grinned. “Sure. I thought it would just be a one-time thing, but Grant’s a really nice guy.”
She nodded firmly. “He’s a great guy.”
I must have looked distressed because she leaned over, curling her arm around my shoulders and squeezing quickly. “What's wrong if it's a good thing?” she asked softly as she leaned back.
“I don't know. I'm independent. It's hard for me to rely on anyone. My last boyfriend screwed around on me, but it wasn't like we were in love.” I paused, considering the one detail I hated talking about. “When I was sixteen, my sister’s boyfriend hit on me. He was twenty-seven.”
Her eyes narrowed. “What an asshole and a creep!”
“I told him to fuck off, but I guess it made it hard for me to trust. My sister thought he was the best guy. He was nice and everything.”
“What happened?”
“I told her, and she dumped him. It was a big thing. He told her I was lying, but she believed me.” Thank God for small favors. My stomach curdled every time I recalled him trying to kiss me after sliding his hand too low past my waist. I’d been horrified. I shook those thoughts away. Sure, it had definitely contributed to my distrust of the world, but it was the past. “Grant doesn't really do serious, does he?”
Daphne was gracious enough to let the conversation move on. “I don't think he's opposed to it. Maybe he hasn’t met the right person.”
“Yeah, but how can I be the right person? It could get messy.”
She shrugged. “We all survived Gabriel and Nora's breakup. You weren't here for the whole of that, but they were pretty cold for a bit there.”
“Well, now they’re happy. Maybe Grant and I are just meant for a brief thing.”
“Do you really like him?” she asked gently.
My heart took off at a fast clip. I took a breath, letting it out in a sharp sigh. “I think so,” I reluctantly admitted. “Has he talked to anybody about it?”
I hated, absolutely hated, my curiosity, but I really wanted to know. If anybody knew, it would be Daphne. “Diego told Flynn that Grant said he had feeeeeeelings for you. I think you two are good for each other,” she offered with a decisive nod.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because you are. Life hasn't been a walk in the park for Grant. Their mom died, and it sounds like their dad was a flake before he passed away. Even with that, Grant's got this easy personality. I think things do come fairly easily to him. You're a challenge for him. He can't just be the guy all the girls want to kiss or fuck, as the case may be,” she said bluntly.
I burst out laughing at that. “Are you saying I'm difficult?”
“No. I'm saying you're a challenge for him. You're independent. You're intelligent. You don't need him for anything, and I think that's good for him.”
“How is he good for me?”
Her eyes softened. She paused, finishing the last bite of her scone and taking a sip of water before answering. “It seems like you don’t trust the universe, especially when it comes to romance. You’re kind of prickly.” With the way she said it, I couldn't even get defensive, and I snorted a laugh. “Just saying,” she offered with a quick grin. “Grant will be good to you, and I think you deserve that.”
“Why would he want me? Like you said, I’m prickly.”
“I'm kind of prickly.”
“No, you're not!” I protested.
Her brows hitched up. “I'm doing better than I was, but when I met Flynn, I was pretty, well, really, uptight. That's why he calls me princess.”
I grinned. “I love when he calls you that. It's really sweet.”
Her cheeks flushed pink. “I love it too, but it drove me nuts at first. Anyway, sometimes it helps to have someone really good and solid. That's all I'm saying.” She paused, her gaze skating over me. “Does he know about your heart issue?”
“Yeah, remember? He’s the one who told Diego when I fainted before.”
She slapped her hand to her forehead. “That’s right!”
“I just started taking medication.”
“Will that help?”
“I hope. Quinn said we might have to adjust the dose.”
“I think you should let him know this happened.”
