Project Lightning, page 22
“That is awful.” Kayla says. Her hand threads with mine and I feel grounded.
“Well, they say the government threatened them. But I just can't seem to get past it.” I say. My anger toward them rises again and I feel my body tense.
“Well...” Piper says. “Not to be the devil's advocate, but can you blame them?”
“What do you mean?” I glare at her and she scoots back a little.
“Well...” Piper says slowly, “If you were threatened by the government, would you keep the lie or would you spill to anyone who would listen?”
I think about this for a moment. Would I have reacted similarly? Or would I have just gone against the government? “I guess I can understand that.” I resign. “But as I got older, why didn't they tell me?” That is the one thing that I could never figure out. Yes I was angry that they lied to me but I was hurt that they never told me before this.
“Well, silly.” Piper replies, “You can ask them when you talk to them.”
“She has a point, Brinna.” Kayla says. I whip my head to face her. Why are my friends ganging up on me? “Think about it.” She grabs my hands. “We love you. But when you were mad at Caleb for ignoring you, what did you wish?”
I sag against his body. “That he would talk to me.” I grumble.
“That's right.” Kayla says. “They probably have their reasons. But I would wait until you can talk to them in person.” She looks around slowly and pulls me in close. “If they are afraid of the government, they probably won't tell you while you are in a government facility.” She whispers. I smile and take a deep breath. My friends are right. I can't judge them until I know their side.
“Now you said something about your best friend?” Kayla says.
“Yeah.” I say and Caleb puts his arm around me. “While we were home, we went to a club for young adults.”
“Oh you mean, Knight Club?” Piper says. “How was it?”
“Yeah that is the place.” I reply quickly ignoring her second question. “Anyway, while I was there, I saw my best friend from childhood. She came with me to evaluation but she didn't make it.” Both girls nod. “When she left me here, she told me to look her up. Well I saw her at the club and I was so excited. Except, she didn't recognize me.”
Kayla's eyebrows furrow. “Didn't recognize you?”
“No. She walked past me and when I called out to her, she said she didn't know me.”
“Are you sure she didn't just not recognize you?” Piper says. “I mean, Knight Club is pretty dark.”
I shake my head back and forth. “I talked to her. She was as close as you guys are now. There is no way...” I shake my head again in frustration. “She didn't even know me.” My eyes fall to my lap as I fight against the tears. Overwhelming doesn't even come close to describing how I am feeling. Drowning is probably a better word. I feel arms surround me as I sit there trying to hold myself together.
“Brin?” Piper says and I pick my head up. “I am here for you, you know?”
A small smile graces my face. “I know.”
“Well share the load.” Kayla says. I narrow my eyes and look at her. She giggles slightly. “I mean, you can talk to us. Unburden yourself. Get a fresh perspective. Okay?” She squeezes my hands and I smile. For the first time in the last few weeks, I genuinely smile.
“There's my girl.” Caleb growls in my ear. His lips press against my neck.
I giggle. “Stop.” I swat him away and he chuckles.
Piper stands up. “Well, I am going to go work out. Anyone want to join me?”
Kayla stands and says, “I will.”
Caleb nudges me and stands. I shrug and think that maybe working out will be for the best. He holds his hand out and helps me up.
“Give me a minute to get changed.” I say as my three best friends leave my room.
“Meet you there.” Kayla calls out and I hear the door slam as she leaves.
I quickly peel off my uniform and put it in a dry cleaning bag. My door snicks closed and I hear the lock flick. I whip around to see Caleb standing their shirtless. His abs and chest glistening in the low light.
“I think we can find a way to work out on our own.” he growls as he stalks toward me. I swallow hard and nod. His arms come around my waist and he picks me up. Placing me gently down on the bed, I sigh and let go of everything. My anger, my frustration, my memories. In that moment, I know, no matter what, I can escape.
Chapter 36
I walked into the medical facility on Saturday. Dr. Murphy had told me to dress comfortably as we are going to be there for a while. Caleb places his hand on the small of my back. Together we walk down the hall to Dr. Murphy's office. Caleb lifts a hand and knocks.
“Come on in.” Dr. Murphy calls out.
Her office has been transformed from something light and friendly to a dark but comfortable area. The couch has been moved to the center of the room and two chairs sit in front of it. Incense is burning on her desk and the only light is from the candles scattered around the room. I nervously enter the room. My hands shake so much I have to clench them tightly.
“Welcome, Brinna.” Dr. Murphy says sweetly. “Please have a seat on the couch. Caleb if you are staying please have a seat in the chair.” Caleb had asked if he could be there for my session. At the time, I wanted him there but now that it was here, I wasn’t so sure.
Caleb kisses my cheek and moves around me to the chair. Slowly, I step toward the couch. My chest is tight and breathing harsh. I hear the lock snick and I tense. Caleb grabs my hand and I feel my body relax. I am not alone.
“Okay, Brinna.” Dr. Murphy takes a seat in the other chair. “I am going to tell you how this is going to work before we get started. I am going to use techniques that will relax you in a semi conscious state called hypnosis. While you are in this state, I am going to ask questions to try to draw out your buried memories. The hope is that once these memories are free to flow, your body will start remembering on its own.”
“What do you mean, start remembering on its own.” I ask slowly.
“Basically, the hope is that the block on your mind will be gone and you will remember naturally. The memories will no longer push through during your dreams and you can deal with them more effectively.”
“Will all her memories come out during this session?” Caleb asks softly, grasping my hand tightly.
Dr. Murphy looks over at him. “No.” she states. “Unfortunately, there is no way to retrieve all her memories at once.” My mind flashes to the machine from technology class.
“What about the MRM?” I blurt out.
Dr. Murphy's head whips over to me. “How do you know about that?”
“The instructor in technology class showed it to us this week. She had a prototype.”
Dr. Murphy's eyes go round and she mumbles under her breath. “I thought she got rid of it.” Moments later, she shakes her head before meeting my eyes. “Unfortunately, the MRM, while it was able to search memories for replacement, was never fully developed.”
“Did my mom create it?” I ask slowly.
Dr. Murphy smiles brightly. “Your mom was brilliant. Ahead of her time. She had some brilliant ideas that could have helped many people. But she didn't stay in the medical technology program.”
A crease forms in my forehead. “Why?”
Dr. Murphy's head goes slowly from side to side. “I don't know. Just after her 3rd year, Cassie told me she was transferring to field medical. I asked her why and she simply said she needed to.”
My eyes widen as I think about what the instructor said. Cassie Cruz developed this machine her third year...However, the machine was never fully developed due to the project never being given funding. Could that have been the reason? Or was there some other reason, she stopped developing it.
“Do you think that was the real reason?” Caleb asks.
Dr. Murphy shook her head. “No...” she says softly. “I don't. But I couldn't ask her.”
“Why?” I ask quickly.
Dr. Murphy took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Because that night she was moved from the medical dorms to another set of rooms. I rarely saw her after that.”
“Isn't that kind of odd?” Caleb asks and Dr. Murphy just nods.
Several minutes of silence settle around us. Suddenly, Dr. Murphy looks up and smiles. “You look so much like your father. Did you know?”
“I was told that by my uncle.” I say with a smile. My father’s face flashes before my eyes. His smile. The lines on his face. His dark brown hair that flops in front of his eyes on occasion.
Dr. Murphy startles me back to reality as she claps. The echo in the room gives me pause. “Well...” she says, “Are you ready?”
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yes. Let's do this.”
“Okay, please lie back on the couch.” I lie back and feel Caleb's calloused hand brushing against my fingers. “Caleb, at least for now, I need you to let go of Brinna's hand. Once she is deep in hypnosis, you can hold her hand again okay?” Caleb pulls my hand up to his lips and kisses it gently. I smile brightly at him as I feel him let go. “Good.” Dr. Murphy says. “Now, Brinna, I want you to close your eyes. Now take a deep breath in and let it out. Clear your mind of any thoughts. Watch each one of them fly away. Continue taking deep breaths.” I feel my mind clear. I watch my thoughts fly away into nothingness. Nothing is present. Her low voice continues. “I want you to feel the tension in your body. Starting with your toes, I want you to relax each of your muscles. Let go of all the tension.” My feet fall to the side. My legs. My chest. My arms. Finally my head. I feel light and buoyant.
“Now, I want you to visualize yourself at the top of the stairs of a pool. There are ten steps and when you get to the bottom, you will be fully relaxed. Now take the steps one at a time as your body gets lighter. 10...9...8...” My body begins to feel lighter as my mind begins to slow down. “7...6...5...” I am floating in space. My limbs move about without any propulsion. “4...3...2...1...” My brain grows foggy. “Now I want you to visualize yourself in your childhood home with your mother and father.”
I feel pulled out of the pool and into a farmhouse. “Tell us what you are seeing.”
I try to describe my surroundings but everything is fuzzy. Like the colors are not fully formed. “My mother is humming over the stove. My body is swaying back and forth. I hear a deep humming which is closer. I look up and see my father's green eyes. I must be a baby. My father is talking. “Brinna. You are daddy's little girl. Aren't you babygirl? You are going to grow up and be a beautiful young woman.” My mother walks over and I feel her fingers caress down my cheek. She looks up at my father. “Do you think we are far enough away?” My father shakes his head. “I don't know if we will ever be far enough. But I think we are safe for now.””
Dr. Murphy's voice interrupts my vision. “Now I want you to fast forward a couple years.” My body feels pulled out of the house. I long for my mother and father again. I want to reach out to them but my body feels frozen. Time progresses in front of my eyes. Dizziness overcomes me as time stops. “Tell us what you see.”
“I hear music. We are at a country dance. Cornfields are in the distance. I am in my father's arms. The music stops. “Dance more, Daddy?” I ask. “Not tonight sweetheart. We need to get home.” “But Daddy!” I say. “Brinna.” he says sternly and I pout. We walk up to Mama and she pulls me from Daddy's arms. I yawn. Mama and Daddy hold hands as they walk down the street. A man approaches Daddy and they speak for a moment. Daddy looks angry for a moment but we walk home. Mama tucks me into bed and kisses me. Daddy kisses me and I feel my eyes fading. “Love you Brinna.” Daddy says. “Wuv you too.” I say.” I drift off to sleep.”
I can feel their love surround me. I feel safe and secure. A voice says, “Fast forward again.” My body is pulled but I am so relaxed and warm I don't mind it this time. Time stops and I am in the kitchen again.
I look around and see the country kitchen. It is painted in pale yellow with floral wallpaper. A large table sits in the center. “I am in the kitchen again. Mama is at the stove. She turns and she is rubbing her belly. Daddy comes through the door and Mama greets him with a kiss. They whisper for a moment. Daddy pulls back with wide eyes before placing his hand on her stomach. She nods and I start crying. I want my daddy to say hi to me. “Patience, babygirl.” Daddy says as he comes over to me. He picks me up in his strong arms. He smells of oil and sweat and Daddy. I relax into his arms. “Brinna.” I look up at his smiling face. His eyes crinkle in the corners. “Did Mama tell you our news?” I shake my head back and forth dramatically. He places his hand against her stomach again. “You're going to have a baby brother or sister.” I frown for a moment but then I smile. I can't help it because my Mama and Daddy are so happy.”
“Fast forward.” the voice says. Time speeds by. I see my Mama's belly grow and then she leaves with Daddy. Auntie Maven stays with me. I am brought to a hospital room. Time stops there.
“I am in the hospital. Mama is in bed and she is holding a little bundle. Daddy picks me up and I smile. “Come meet your brother, Camden.” I climb on the bed and Mama pulls the blanket down a little. His wrinkled face. “Camden,” Mama coos. “Meet your big sister, Brinna.” His eyes blink and then he lets out a bellow. I jump slightly back and my Daddy catches me and chuckles. “He's loud, Daddy.” I complain. Daddy nods. “He is but he will grow.” I snuggle into Daddy's arms as I watch Mama holding Camden. My heart feels full.”
“Fast forward.”
My vision clears and I am on the front porch. I recognize this scene. It is from one of my dreams. Camden is playing in the dirt. “Mama is brushing my hair on the porch. Camden is playing in the dirt in the front of our house. Mama gets up and goes inside. “Camden, don't kill those ants.” I say. “Daddy.” Camden yells. I look up and see Daddy running toward the house. I stand up and brush off my dress. “Daddy!” I yell but he doesn't stop to pick me up like he normally does. He runs past Camden and into the house. I grab Camden's hand and run into the house. “Cassie!” he yells and Mama comes running out of the kitchen. Her eyes are wide. “He found us.” Mama gasps. “We need to go. Now!” he yells as he runs through the house grabbing stuff. “Brinna!” Daddy yells. He kneels down briefly. “Take Camden out to the car. Can you do that?” I nod and grab Camden's hand. He is crying and I gently tug him out to the car. Mama and Daddy are loading stuff into the car quickly. “Don't forget bunny!” I yell as I pick Camden up and put him in his seat. “Get in the car Brinna.” Daddy says as he slams the trunk. I get in the car and Mama gets in the front seat. Her eyes are scared and she is shaking. Camden is crying loudly and I try to calm him. Daddy takes off on the road and out of town. “Where are we going to go?” Mama asks. Daddy is gripping the steering wheel tight. “We can't go to Ascelpius, Barnum will find us there.” Daddy turns on the interstate. “We are going to my brother's.” Mama gasps. “But that is his territory.” Daddy looks over at Mama. “We have to stop running.” He looks defeated. Tears are flowing down Mama's face. “The kids will be safe with my brother. He will care for them.” Mama looks back at me and tries to smile through her tears. She reaches back and grasps my hand. “We love you Brinna.” “I love you too, Mama.”
“Fast forward.” the voice says again. I am stuck in the fog. I feel tears stream down my face. I can feel the fear in her body as I pulled once more to a different memory.
The brownstone looks familiar. There are raised voices in the other room. I go toward them. “Greg. You need to take care of my children!” Daddy yells. Mama is sitting crying on the couch with Aunt Myrna. “Don't bring me into this!” Uncle Greg yells. “Please! Brother.” Daddy begs. Camden is holding onto my leg hiding from the yelling. Uncle Greg looks over at us and then at Aunt Myrna. She smiles shyly and comes up to me. “Do you want to meet your cousin Maddy?” she asks. I nod and we walk upstairs. We walk into a bedroom. It looks slightly different but I recognize it as my room. Maddy is sitting by the dollhouse. Camden toddles up to her and they begin playing together. I sit on the bed and put my hands in my lap.
After a while, the door opens. Daddy and Mama walk in. They both have tears in their eyes. Mama goes over to Camden and picks him up and hugs him. Daddy kneels in front of me. “Brinna, Mama and I have to go away for a while.” I throw my arms around him. “No Daddy, don't go.” I say. He holds me tightly. I feel his tears on my neck. His shoulders are shaking. After a few minutes, he pulls back. “Brinna. You need to be brave and strong for your brother okay?” I nod slowly. “Mama and I love you both so much. Uncle Greg and Aunt Myrna are going to take care of you both, okay?” I nod again. Daddy hugs me again and turns to Camden. Mama comes over to me. “Brinna, baby. Mama loves you okay?” I nod and hug her tightly. Mama stands up and goes over to Daddy at the door. Camden comes over to me and I pick him up. Daddy turns and looks at us. “Brinna, Camden. Daddy and Mama love you so much. We will miss you and hopefully we will see you soon.” They turn and walk out the door. Camden breaks down crying. I hold him and try to soothe him.”
“Fast forward.”
I shudder as I look around this location. I can tell I am underground. It almost looks like an old bunker from the time when weapons of mass destruction existed. “I am in a very dark place. It feels cold and unfeeling. I hear voices but I feel heavy. “It is done.” I hear Mama's voice. My head turns toward it but there is a curtain between us. “You are sure?” A sneering voice says. “Yes.” Mama says. “Well we should test it and I have the perfect subject.” The curtain moves and I see Mama's eyes widen. “NO! NOT BRINNA! NOT MY BABY!” The evil man steps into the light and I recognize him. It is Colonel Barnum. “Yes. Your darling daughter, Brinna.” I hear chains rattle and I see Daddy chained against a wall. His face is swollen and black and blue. Mama looks over at him and then back at me. Tears are streaming down her face. She nods lightly. The chains rattle again. Mama faces the evil man. “Where is my son?” The evil man says. “Oh he is safe, for now. If this works, you will be free to go.” Mama nods and looks at me again. She closes her eyes and turns away to a computer terminal.
