Freed, page 16
“What?”
He nods. “Ryan was with me the day I got taken. He got away. For many years, I thought I saved him. That he got away because of me. I kicked the guy holding him. He let Ryan go, and I told him to run.”
“I didn’t have that chance. I’d have done anything to save Donny.”
“I know you would have. I would have done anything to save Ryan.”
“You did.”
He pauses a moment, stroking his chin. “Actually, I didn’t.”
“But you just said—”
He gestures me to stop talking. “After we adopted you and Donny, your mother and I sat down with the rest of the family. Your mother was pregnant with Diana, Aunt Mel had just given birth to Brad, and Aunt Ruby announced she was expecting. We wanted a better life for our children. We didn’t want any of you to suffer because of our past.”
“You couldn’t help your past.”
He pauses again, seeming to think. Is he regretting taking a step down this path? I don’t know.
“No, we couldn’t, but we could make sure yours was easier.”
“Mine? Did I hear you right?”
“I mean the plural you, Dale. All I could do for you and Donny was to give you love, a home, and the help I didn’t get until much later.”
I nod. “You told me. Your father didn’t get you the help you needed.”
“No, he did not.”
“Why?”
“It’s a long story, one your mother and I hoped to shield you from, but I see maybe it’s time you knew. But first…about your brother.”
“What about him?”
“Not about your brother so much as mine. I thought I’d saved him from my fate. Turned out, I had nothing to do with it.”
“How would you know that?”
“I’m going to ask that you keep what I’m about to tell you between you and me. You can tell Ashley if you want to, only because I don’t condone secrets between married people. But if you do so, she must keep it confidential between the two of you.”
“Wait, wait, wait… You don’t condone secrets between married people. So you think I should tell Ashley…”
“I do, but in your own time. That’s not what this is about.”
I swallow. “You’re freaking me out a little, Dad.”
“I’m sure I am. Here goes.” He inhales. “We didn’t find out until we were adults that Ryan is only my half brother.”
A brick hits me with a dull thud. Finally, I speak. “Uh…what?”
“He’s a Steel, but my mother wasn’t his mother. Your grandfather had an affair. Well, according to him it wasn’t an affair so much as one time with an old flame.”
“Why would he do that?”
Dad scoffs. “I gave up trying to figure my father out long ago. He always claimed everything he did was for my mother and the four of us kids.”
I can’t wrap my mind around what he’s telling me. Uncle Ry? Only my half uncle? Of course, not really my uncle at all, if you want to get technical. No real Steel blood flows through my veins.
“Let me make this long story short for now, since we’re in the middle of your wedding party. All that time, I thought I’d saved Ryan from being abducted and abused, but in reality, he was never in any danger. His birth mother arranged my abduction, and Ryan, who was her son, was never supposed to be harmed. He didn’t get away because I saved him. He got away because of who he was.”
“So this woman…” My brain hurts from trying to put all this together.
“The woman was insane,” Dad says. “Certifiably insane and obsessed with my father. Apparently an evil genius, as well.”
“Evil genius?”
“A very high IQ, and definitely evil.”
Dad’s words race around in circles in my head. What is he talking about? I open my mouth to speak, but I have no idea what to say.
“It’s all related,” he says. “I don’t have time to get into the specifics, but I suppose it’s time you knew ev—”
“Talon!” Mom rushes into the office.
“What is it, blue eyes? Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. Yes. But it’s Ashley’s new stepfather. He… I don’t know. He just dropped his drink and—”
I stand and rush out the door. The big party has broken up, obviously. Ashley. Where is Ashley?
“She left,” Brendan says, Ava next to him. “They took your mom’s car and headed to Grand Junction. We figured it would take an ambulance too long to get here.”
“They’re… Wait…what?”
Brendan continues, but his voice is low and distorted, as if everything is in slow motion. “They’re rushing Dennis to the hospital in Grand Junction. It’s the closest. Dee went with them because she knows the shortcuts to get off Steel property.”
“Stop, stop, stop!” I shake my head, trying to put two and two together in a seemingly impossible equation.
People are murmuring among themselves, a white-noise buzz that I can’t decipher.
Brianna runs to me. “Dale, thank God. Where were you?”
“In the office with Dad. What’s going on?”
“Dennis dropped his drink and started slurring his words. Aunt Mel says—”
Then Aunt Mel is there, beside Bree. “It looks like a stroke, Dale,” she says. “But I could be wrong. He’s so young.”
Aunt Mel is a doctor. She’s not wrong.
“I need to go. Which hospital did they go to? Never mind, I’ll call Dee on the way.”
“Call us,” Aunt Mel says. “Please.”
I nod, sprint to my house, and hop into my truck.
I dial Dee quickly.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Ashley
Diana’s phone rings.
“Get that, will you?” she says to me.
I nod. “It’s Dale. Hey,” I say into the phone.
“Baby, are you all right? I’m right behind you. Ask Dee which hospital she’s heading toward.”
“Yeah. I mean, yeah. I’m fine. We’re going to St. Mary’s.”
“How’s Dennis?”
“He’s… I don’t know, Dale. I just don’t know.”
“Okay. I’ll see you at the ER. Tell Dee to drive safely.”
“Quickly but safely,” I say.
“Right. I love you.”
“I love you too.” I set Dee’s phone down on the console.
Mom is crying in the back seat. Dennis is awake but unresponsive, as if he wants to respond but can’t. He’s not paralyzed, so maybe Dale’s aunt is wrong. Maybe it’s not a stroke. But it’s something, and whatever it is isn’t good. He’s clutching at his chest.
“He’s coming,” I tell Dee. “He was in the office talking to your dad.”
She nods. “He’s probably only ten minutes or so behind us. Dale knows these roads better than I do. He’ll get there quickly.”
Thank God. This is crazy. So crazy. The party was great. I was having fun. The band was awesome, and I was getting to know some of the members of my new family better.
Mom was glowing. So happy. She’d finally found her love.
And then…
Dennis dropped his champagne flute.
“Hey, clumsy,” Mom chided him, laughing.
I watched the whole thing from only five feet away.
She bent down and picked up the flute, handing it to him. He reached out, shaking, and took it.
“We’ll just call you butterfingers.” Mom laughed again.
Dennis didn’t crack a smile, and though he tried to hold on to the flute, it fell to the ground once more.
“Dennis?” Mom said.
No smile. No response.
“Dennis, what’s the matter?”
Then, “Oh my God. Someone help me!”
That’s when I approached them, along with several others.
“Get Melanie!” someone shouted.
It’s all a blur after that.
“Come back to me, baby,” my mom croons to Dennis in the back seat. “Please.”
I’m nauseated. Not just in my belly and my throat. My whole body is nauseated. Every nook and cranny feels sick, as if I’m being poisoned.
My mother’s voice is puke brown as she tries to bring her new husband back to her.
Puke brown.
And I know what that means.
It means whatever news we’re going to get at the hospital isn’t going to be good.
This happened to me once before, back on the streets, when one of our tent neighbors died.
The people trying to help him all sounded pukey and brown. To this day, I don’t know what took him. Could have been anything. Maybe pneumonia. Maybe cancer. I was just a kid, and we were homeless. No one knew how or why the man died. No one but us cared.
We finally make it to the ER. Dee hands off the keys to the valet, and I run inside to get a wheelchair. An orderly follows me out, and somehow we manage to get Dennis into the chair.
“What happened here?” someone asks when we get into the ER.
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. My mom is equally immobilized.
Thank God for Dee. “We think he might be having a stroke. He can move, but he hasn’t spoken since it happened about a half hour ago. Or a heart attack, maybe. His chest seems to be hurting.”
“Why didn’t you call the squad?”
“We live on a ranch. We figured we could get here quicker.”
“Always better to call the squad,” the person says.
“Then we’d have waited longer for them to get to us.” Dee shakes her head. “Just take care of him. Please.”
Dennis is rushed back, and Mom goes with him.
Finally, I let myself breathe.
Dennis will get the care he needs here. I just hope it’s enough. My mom can’t lose her husband two days after their wedding. She just can’t.
Dee leads me to a chair in the waiting area. “Come on. Sit. All we can do now is wait.”
“This was a celebration,” I say, more to myself than to Dee.
“I know. I’m so sorry, Ash.”
“My mom is happier than I’ve ever seen her. She deserves happiness. More than anyone else, she deserves happiness.”
Dee smiles weakly but says nothing. What is there to say?
The atmosphere in the ER waiting room is dull gray.
Until Dale rushes in.
I stand abruptly and run to him, right into his arms, so hard I nearly knock my giant of a husband off his feet.
“Hey.” He kisses the top of my head. “Tell me what’s going on.”
I can’t speak. I’m numb. I simply crush my head to him and shake it. He edges me slowly over to where Dee is sitting.
“We don’t know anything yet,” Dee says.
“Stroke?” Dale asks.
“That’s what Aunt Mel thinks, but they just went back a little while ago. We don’t know anything.”
A nurse comes out then. “Miss White?”
I finally remove my head from Dale’s shoulder. “That’s me, I guess.” Or Mrs. Steel. Whatever. I’ve been Mrs. Steel for only two days.
“Your mother asked me to fill you in,” she says. “Mr. James is showing signs of a stroke, but we need to do some testing to get a firm diagnosis. In the meantime, he’s been given an injection of recombinant tissue plasminogen activator.”
“English, please,” Dale says.
“And you are…?”
“Her husband.”
“Of course. It’s a treatment that dissolves the clot and increases blood flow to the brain. If it’s administered within three hours of a stroke, it significantly improves the chances of recovery.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “It’s only been an hour or so. I think.” Time has kind of suspended itself.
“You did the right thing by getting him here so quickly,” she says. “Though it would have been better to call an emergency vehicle.”
“We were in a rural area,” I say, repeating what Dee said when we got here.
“Still, that’s the best—”
“They got him here,” Dale interrupts. “And in record time. Is now really the best time to lecture my wife when her stepfather is in serious condition?”
The nurse cocks her head and regards Dale. “You look familiar to me. Have we met?”
“I don’t think so.”
“I’m sure we ha— You’re Dale Steel. From Steel Vineyards.”
Dale nods.
“Oh, God. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.”
“Because I’m Dale Steel? You’re rude to others?”
The nurse reddens. “I have to get back. Again, I’m sorry. You did the right thing.” She scurries off.
“How did she know you?”
“I have no idea. From the news, maybe. The fire. Plus, I was just here when my birth father died.”
“Right. Amazing, though,” I say.
“What?”
“How she treated us differently once she found out who you were.”
“Stupid, is more like it.”
“I’ll take what I can get. She’s going to go back there and tell them who you are, and they’ll push Dennis to the top of the list.”
“He’s a possible stroke case. If he’s not already at the top of the list, there’s something wrong with this hospital.” Dale turns to Dee. “You can go ahead home. I’ve got the truck, and I’ll stay with Ashley.”
Dee nods. “Okay. Call if you need anything, and keep us posted, please.”
“We will,” Dale says. “I’ll walk you out. Will you be okay for a few minutes?” he says to me.
I simply nod. After the nurse thing, I’m done talking for a while.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Dale
A little over a week ago, I was sitting in a different waiting room at this very hospital.
When my father had a heart attack.
A few days later, he summoned me back here to make a confession.
A confession that he’d sold my brother and me to his criminal uncle for five thousand dollars.
I’ve kept that confession locked inside me. No one knows. Not yet. I vowed never to tell my brother. Why fuck up his life? He’s happy, and I don’t want to destroy that.
I should talk to Aunt Mel.
I should, but already I know I won’t.
Right now, Ashley needs me whole, and if I start bringing all my shit out, I’ll be far from whole.
And it hits me.
Why I married Ashley so quickly and with so little thought.
She keeps me whole.
Oh, I love her. I love her more than I ever thought possible.
But I didn’t marry her for the love I feel for her or the love she feels for me.
I married her for stability. For her to be my rock. I’d already allowed my emotion to rise to the surface, and my love for her, so far, has tamped down the horror inside me.
I can’t lose her.
So I married her.
She sits, now, leaning against me in silence, her eyes sunken and sad. She cried a little. Not a lot. More for her mother than for the man she just met.
I married her to be a rock for me. That was unfair of me, and I need to rectify it, but this isn’t the time.
No, this is the time for me to step up.
I will be a rock for her at this moment.
And then…
After her new stepfather is, hopefully, out of danger, I have some thinking to do.
I haven’t been fair to her.
I married her for the wrong reasons.
I can’t depend on her to keep my emotions at bay. She’s not a miracle worker. I will burst eventually, and I can’t have her anywhere near me when that happens.
I’ll never be truly free, and she deserves so much better.
Willow appears in front of us, seemingly out of nowhere.
How much time has passed? I’m not sure. Time has been in a warp field lately.
Her eyes are red and puffy, her face lined where tears have flowed. Ashley disentangles herself from me and stands to embrace her mother.
They hug for a while until Willow breaks it. “I have to get back to Dennis,” she says. “I wanted to let you know they’re admitting him. We got the MRI results. It’s an ischemic stroke in one of the frontal lobes. He seems to understand, but he can’t speak.”
“Mom, I’m so sorry.”
“He’s so young…”
“I know. He’ll recover. I know he will.”
She nods. “The doctor seems to think he has a good chance of recovery. But we just don’t know yet.”
“I’m not leaving,” Ashley says.
“Yes, you are,” Willow tells her. “You’re newly married, and you need to be with your husband. I’m fine here.”
“We’ll be glad to put you up at a nice hotel,” I say.
“That’s kind of you,” Willow says, “but I’m not leaving Dennis’s side.”
“All right, but the offer stands. Just call us.” I grab Ashley’s hand. “Let’s go home. You need a good night’s sleep.”
“I can’t leave my mother.”
“Dale’s right, sweetie,” Willow says. “Please. Go. I’ll keep you both posted.”
Ashley finally relents.
We drive home.
She’s asleep before we get there.
Ashley’s still asleep when Penny wakes me at eight a.m. My eyes pop open. Is it really this late? We didn’t get home from the hospital until well after midnight, but I usually wake naturally by six.
I rise to take care of Penny, and then I start a pot of coffee, when my phone buzzes.
Hmm. Not a number I recognize.
“Dale Steel.”
“Mr. Steel, good morning. This is Jason Ramsey from Delta County Fire Protection.”
I clear my throat. “Good morning. What can I do for you?”
“We’ve completed our investigation of the fire that destroyed part of your property, and you’re the contact we have listed on file.”
“Strange. It should be my father or uncle, since it’s technically their property.”
“Do you want me to call someone else?”
“No, I can relay the information.”
