Freed, page 11
To the lobby, then. I wait in a short line to ask whether Dale has registered. He hasn’t.
I sigh. Up to my room, then. It’s nearly two a.m., and my mom and Dennis arrive tomorrow morning. I need to get some sleep.
After riding up the elevator, I walk to my room and tap the keycard to the door.
I open it, and—
“It’s about time.”
The cloak of red wine fills the room.
Dale’s voice.
Dale is here.
But I’m not letting him off the hook that easily.
“How did you get in here?” I demand.
“Steel privilege,” he snarks.
Of course. He paid someone off. Easy enough when you’re richer than God.
“This is my room,” I say. “You have no right—”
His lips are on mine, then. He’s kissing me, and this time it’s his trademark kiss of rage. He’s angry. Mad as a hornet because I dared to spend the evening with two men who taught me some stuff about blackjack.
I didn’t abuse his trust. Neither of them touched me, other than the brushing of a finger when they handed me drinks.
But he doesn’t know that. He doesn’t think about that. He’s filled with rage.
As much as I love this kiss, want this kiss, I push him away, breaking it.
“This isn’t happening,” I say.
“Want to bet?” He chuckles at his own joke.
“Yeah, I’ll bet the house. I’ll bet the entire Steel fortune. Because I know you, Dale. I know you’re an honorable man, and you’ll do nothing without my consent. I hereby do not consent to anything. Not until you tell me what the hell that was about down there.”
“Fine,” he says. “I drove five hundred miles to see you and find you sandwiched between two Texans. That’s what this is about.”
My lips tremble. “I wasn’t sandwiched.”
“Flanked, then. Use whatever word you want. It’s all a euphemism for threesome, anyway.”
“That’s it, then. You’re bothered by the fact that I’ve had a threesome.”
He says nothing.
“What I did before I knew you has nothing to do with us. With how I feel about you.”
“Then what was tonight about?”
“I sat between them at a blackjack table,” I say defiantly. “I didn’t fuck them.”
“They wanted to.”
“So what? Lots of women want to fuck you too. That doesn’t mean they get to.”
“Maybe, but I don’t encourage them.”
“You think I encouraged Carlos and Mike?”
“For God’s sake, Ashley, of course you did. With all your experience, surely you know men by now. They’re always looking for a pretty girl to fuck. Show one spark of interest, and they think you’re game.”
“I was interested in learning blackjack, not in fucking them.” I shake my head. “This is crazy. I honestly thought you were different from most men. I honestly thought…”
“What?” he demands. “What did you think?”
“I thought we had a chance, Dale. Don’t you get it? I like sex, okay? I like it a lot, and I’ve had a lot of it. But I never got serious with anyone I had sex with because it was only sex on both sides. But you… It’s different with you. It means more. It’s not just physical. It’s… It’s…”
“What is it, exactly?”
“It’s emotional. I love you, Dale. I love you so much. And I… Damn! I just want things to be the way they were.”
I stop then. The way they were? Nothing has really changed. It’s never been perfect with Dale. Perfect would be a relationship without an end in sight, not one confined to two months.
“Things change, Ash,” he says finally. “The fire…”
“I know, babe, and I’m so sorry.” I walk toward him tentatively. “But—”
“Please.” He gestures with his hands as he interrupts me. “Don’t tell me how good I have it. Don’t lecture me on Steel privilege. Don’t tell me the Pikes got hit worse. And don’t tell me I’m self-absorbed. I can’t take it right now.”
I drop my mouth open. I have no words.
“There are things about me—things I hide deep inside—that will never change. That I’ll never heal from. Things that have nothing to do with the fire or the Syrah.”
I reach toward him, but he backs away, shaking his head.
“Don’t ask me to open up. I can’t.”
Jade’s voice haunts me from within. Don’t push.
What don’t I know? Something before the adoption. It has to be. But what?
Something terrible. Worse than growing up without a home? Worse than going to bed cold and hungry? Worse than… Worse than being raped and left pregnant?
My God, I can’t go there. Not Dale. Not my Dale.
“All I want is to be here for you,” I say softly. “Anything else is up to you.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Dale
Surprising.
Ashley doesn’t ask me to elaborate.
Not that I would, but why doesn’t she ask?
She claims to love me yet doesn’t ask about my background?
Odd.
Do I trust in her love?
Do I trust she had no intention of hooking up with the Texans?
She smiled and jumped off her chair when I showed up. She threw herself into my arms.
Yes, she was happy to see me.
And as usual, I ruined it.
I can’t ruin this anymore. It’s not a matter of trusting Ashley. In my heart, I know she’d never be unfaithful to me. Sure, seeing her between two men who clearly wanted to get into her pants pissed me off, but not because I doubt her.
Because I doubt myself.
I doubt my own ability to make her happy. To be what she deserves. Hell, I don’t just doubt. I fucking know. I know she deserves a hell of a lot better than what I’m capable of giving.
I sigh.
Maybe it’s time to put that to bed.
I trust her, so I need to trust myself.
Give myself the gift that she’s given me. Complete trust.
There’s a reason I haven’t made a bigger commitment, and it’s not because my love for her isn’t enough.
My love for her is infinite. All-consuming. Never-ceasing.
It’s my love for myself that fails.
Ashley called me self-absorbed recently, and she was right.
But self-absorption is far from self-love.
I need less of the former and more of the latter.
It’s time to start now.
Ashley deserves all of me.
And so do I.
But I…
No. I will not go there. Not tonight. Tonight, I’m going to love Ashley enough to love myself.
I cup her soft cheek, thumbing her satin flesh. “I love you.”
“I know,” she says softly. “I love you too.”
“I want to be the man you deserve.”
“You are, Dale. The only one who doesn’t know that is you.”
Amazing how she knows exactly what I’m thinking sometimes.
“I want to take you somewhere tomorrow,” I say.
“Of course. But I need to be back in time for my mother’s wedding. It’ll be sometime in the evening.”
“Of course. We won’t go far.”
“Then it’s a date.” She smiles.
And my love for her triples, quadruples. But how can something quadruple if it’s already infinite?
Then I remember trig class in high school, how some infinities are larger than others. Makes no sense, logically. I was the guy who simply learned the mathematical rules and applied them. I didn’t care whether they made sense.
I get it now. I truly see.
“Can we please go to bed now?” Ashley pleads. “I’ve missed you.”
“You’ve been gone ten hours,” I say.
“A minute is too long to be away from you.” She wraps her arms around my neck. “I wanted you to come with me. Remember?”
I nod. “And here I am.”
“I’m so happy you’re here. I can’t wait for you to meet my mom. But for now…” She eyes the bed, licking her lips.
“It’s late,” I say.
“Very,” she agrees. “Your point is…?”
“I don’t have one.” Then I kiss her.
She parts her lips for me, and I dive between them. My rage has subsided, and now I let the love flow through every cell of my body, let it take me away to the place I’ve only found with Ashley.
Oh, the rage will return. I know myself too well.
But I’m determined to see what Ashley sees in me.
I’m determined to be what she deserves.
I deepen the kiss, hold her close to my body—as close as I can—and even though we’re both fully clothed, the completeness is real, as if we’re already joined physically.
This will work, I think to myself.
I can do this.
I surrender then, in a way I never have.
I let my thoughts go.
I let myself feel.
I let myself simply be.
I allow my emotions to surface. All the way.
I have to accept the dark to embrace the light.
I have to trust myself.
I break the kiss and pull backward a bit, just so I can look into her beautiful blue eyes.
So beautiful, my Ashley. Her light-blond hair falls over her shoulders in a soft curtain. I undress her slowly, relishing each new inch of flesh I expose.
When she stands before me, naked and lovely, I suck in a breath.
“Your turn,” she says softly.
She unbuttons my black shirt, parting the sides and smoothing her hands over my chest. Her touch makes me tremble. Seriously shudder.
My cock is hard as a rock, of course, as it always is around her. How many times have I been determined to make love to her slowly? To love her as she deserves?
But what I crave right now, as she undresses me, is to grab that gorgeous curtain of hair, force her head back, and shove my erect cock into her red mouth. Fuck her mouth good and hard, force her to swallow my come and then flip her over, smack her ass until it’s red as a maraschino cherry, and then take her from behind.
Then that ass…
I’ve never taken a woman’s ass before…
No.
Damn it!
Slow.
Determined to go slow.
Slow.
Slow and sweet. What this woman deserves.
She pushes me down onto the bed and then removes my boots one by one.
And it’s fucking sexy.
No woman has ever removed my boots before.
She peels my socks from my feet and then kneels between my legs to work my belt.
God, my cock is going to burst.
Faster, Ashley. Faster.
But I don’t say it aloud. No. Slowly. Slowly. Going to give her what she deserves.
What she deserves is a hard spanking for sandwiching between those two Texans…
Damn it!
No!
Fuck! How am I supposed to deny my base instincts?
How?
She slides my jeans and underwear over my hips, and my hard dick juts out. Her eyes pop.
I can’t help a self-satisfied smile. My dick always impresses her.
“God, you’re gorgeous, Dale.” She pulls the jeans the last few inches off me.
I’m naked now.
We both are.
Slow, Dale. Go slow.
But the image of Ashley sitting between the Texans won’t dissolve from my mind. I grab her, pull her over my lap so that gorgeous ass is at my beckoning. I bring my palm down on its creamy flesh.
“Ow!” she cries. “What’s that for?”
“That,” I say in a low growl, “is for putting me through hell tonight. Making me think about you fucking those two horny Texans.”
“But I wasn’t—”
Swat! My palm goes down again, leaving a rosy pink mark on her milky skin.
God, I’m getting harder. She’s so beautiful, so…
Slap!
Once more.
“Dale!”
“Tell me to stop,” I say, “and I’ll stop.”
I wait a second. Then another.
She says nothing.
Slap!
Slap! Slap! Slap!
Then I slide my fingers through her folds.
Fuck. She’s wet. Slick and wet and warm.
She likes this as much as I do. A smile spreads over my lips.
I ease my fingers upward, over her crack, massaging her asshole, her own juices lubricating it.
“Tell me to stop,” I say, my voice a husky rasp. “Tell me, or I’m going in.”
“Dale, please…”
“Please what?”
“Please. Do what you want. I want what you want.”
God damn, those words. I’m hot and horny and splitting into pieces.
I nudge the tip of my finger against her asshole, imagining it’s the head of my cock.
She gasps when I breach the entrance. I stop for a few seconds, let her get used to the invasion.
Then I slide my finger all the way in.
Such lovely forbidden warmth.
God, how will it feel against my cock?
So much for slow and sweet.
I’m going dark and taboo.
Dark and oh, so taboo.
I pull my finger out and slide it back in.
“Oh…” she breathes.
“Feel good, baby?”
“God. Yes. Love it.”
Has she done this before? I don’t doubt it, given her experience. I won’t be the first to breach this ass.
But damn it. I’ll be the last.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Ashley
I love anal. What can I say? It’s hot. I tell my girlfriends who say they’ll never do it to try it once and then get back to me.
There’s little I haven’t tried in the bedroom.
Dale knows this now.
But I swear to God, he makes me feel like a virgin.
Everything he does to me is like an awakening. A sexual rebirth.
His finger gliding in and out of my ass has me so wet I can’t see straight. I want his cock there. I want it in my pussy. Fuck, I wish he had two cocks.
I’m dripping, and my nipples are so hard I’m sure they might pop off.
“Fuck,” he growls. “I can’t take this anymore.” He flips me over and onto my back on the bed. “Need to be inside you.”
He thrusts, filling my pussy, burning a fiery path through every part of me.
“I love you,” he grits out. “Love every part of you. Want every part of you.”
“It’s yours,” I breathe, gasping at each thrust that takes me closer and closer to the release I yearn for. “Every part of me is yours.”
“Going to make you mine,” he says. “Mine and only mine.”
I already am. My words float above us and around us, in a soft pink melody to his deep-red harmony.
“Never let you go,” he groans. “Can’t. Not ever.”
No one’s asking you to.
His groin hits my clit with each plunge, and this time, this time—
“Yes! I’m coming, Dale!”
My walls contract around him, and with each spasm I ride higher, higher, higher…
Every orgasm with Dale is better than the last. Every. Single. One.
I grab his cheeks, look into his gorgeous green eyes. So much I want to say. So much I’m saying inside.
So much he’s not yet ready to hear.
But I’ll say it.
I’ll say it all before our two months are over.
And I’ll hope it’s enough to matter to him. Enough to make him give me a lifetime.
For that’s what I need, what I want, what I crave more than anything else in the world.
A lifetime with this man I love. This man who’s shown me I’m more than just sex.
I’m about love. About going all in for what matters to me.
I’m about Dale Steel.
Strong arms jiggle me out of my slumber. I open my eyes to the Syrah-colored veil of Dale’s voice.
“Time to get up, Ash. I have a surprise for you.”
I pop my eyes open farther. “A surprise? What time is it? My mom gets in sometime this morning. They spent the night at an RV park in Reno.”
“It’s early. Seven thirty. I ordered breakfast, and you have time for a shower. We have an appointment at nine.”
“An appointment? Where?”
“That’s the surprise.” He smiles. “Come on.”
After the limo driver drops us off at another hotel, Dale leads me inside, past the lobby and glitzy casino, to the shops.
He stops at—
“Tiffany’s!” I gasp.
“Yes.”
The door swings open, and an attractive older woman with light-blond hair greets us. “Mr. Steel,” she says. “And you must be Ms. White.”
I don’t answer. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to speak again. What are we doing here?
“Thank you, Iris,” Dale says.
“You’re quite welcome,” Iris says. “I’ve laid out the items as you asked.”
Dale holds my hand, and we both follow Iris to one of the jewelry counters. Sparkling on top of velvet in Tiffany light blue lie no fewer than twenty diamond rings.
Diamond rings.
I can’t help gaping. They’re all huge. They’re all sparkling. They’re all beautiful.
I don’t let myself think about what this may mean. Surely Dale can’t be thinking… I mean, he only committed to two months.
He meets my gaze. “Choose.”
I gulp. “Er…what?”
“Choose,” he says again. “Pick the loveliest one, and it’s yours.”
“You’re… What?” I say again.
“I’ll leave the two of you alone. Just wave me over if you need me.” Iris heads to the front of the store.
We’re the only customers so far. Did Iris open just for us? I have no idea.
“Ashley,” Dale says, “you’re mine.”
“I’m yours,” I echo.
“So let’s get married tonight. With your mom. It’ll be a double wedding.”
