The worst had definitely been a couple of years ago in Somalia. Right before Christmas, two of my buddies—Halo and Tackle—had been kidnapped by Somali pirates. Ranger and I volunteered for the extraction mission after the first team who’d gone in had disappeared too. One of those guys had been our direct boss at the CIA. Striker Ellis had recruited both Ranger and me for our agency job in the same way he’d brought both of us into the K19 family when he left there himself. Consequently, I’d lay my life down for the guy. I knew Ranger felt the same way.

  I’d come close to dying on that mission. The one that followed too. If I could help it, I’d never set foot in Somalia again. Or anywhere in the Middle East.

  7

  BRYAR

  Someone groaning startled me awake. I opened my eyes and realized it was Diesel, who was clearly in the midst of a nightmare. I knew the signs well enough from experiencing my own.

  When I said his name and he didn’t wake up, I leaned over as far as I could and put my hand on his arm.

  His eyes sprung open, and he looked around. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” My words came out as a whisper, and even that took energy I didn’t feel I had. “What happened?”

  “Nightmare. Sorry.”

  I shook my head. “With me.” I felt like he’d already told me, but I couldn’t remember.

  “Cardiac arrest…resuscitated…stable.” He said more, but those were the only words that registered.

  I nodded my head and closed my eyes. The bizarre dreams I’d had made more sense now. Maybe what I thought were nightmares were bits and pieces of what had actually happened. I didn’t see a white light or anything like that. Instead, I just remembered feeling horribly alone.

  “Hey,” Diesel said, brushing the tears away that had rolled down my cheeks. “You’re okay now. You’re on the road to recovery, and soon, you’ll be out of here.”

  I knew he was only trying to make me feel better, but it wasn’t working.

  So I’d recover, then what? I’d still be just as alone as I felt earlier. The sole thing in my life was work. In fact, before I’d been assigned to this case, when I was off, the only people I interacted with were strangers I saw at the market or the restaurants where I’d get takeout. I could go an entire weekend without seeing or hearing from another person.

  It hadn’t been much different in college. Unlike Diesel and Agent Kane, I hadn’t become friends with my roommates. They were just people who lived in the same dorm I did.

  I’d had friends in high school, but no one I’d kept in touch with after we graduated.

  What kind of life was I living? A horribly lonely one. As much as I hated it, I had no idea how to make it any different. I’d never been outgoing.

  “Bryar, look at me.”

  I shook my head when I felt his fingers touch my face.

  “Don’t,” I managed to whisper. If it didn’t take so much damn energy to talk, I’d tell him to leave. Why was he here, anyway? I knew why. Because I had no one else.

  I tried rolling to my side so my back was to him but must’ve disconnected a wire since machines started beeping. A few seconds later, the door flew open and three people rushed in.

  “You’ll need to wait outside, sir,” I heard one of them tell Diesel. Maybe I’d get my wish, and he’d leave. The thought made me cry even harder.

  “Ms. Davies, you need to settle down.”

  I nodded and took as deep a breath as I could without it hurting.

  “She disconnected the EKG.” I heard a disapproving voice announce.

  “Be more careful. We still need to monitor your condition,” the first voice scolded after the others left.

  I wanted to tell her to shut up. Why did nurses have to be so fucking mean?

  “Ms. Davies needs to rest. You can come back in the morning,” I heard the same woman say.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I can call security.”

  “And I’ll call your boss.”

  She huffed and walked out.

  “I don’t think she’ll do it, do you?”

  I shrugged and smiled. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “She’s right. You don’t have to stay,” I whispered.

  “I’m not leaving you here alone with Nurse Hatchet.”

  I smiled again. “Ratched.”

  “Nurse Ratched Hatchet.”

  “Don’t make me laugh.”

  “I’m sure crying hurts just as bad.”

  It did, but not in the way he meant.

  He held my hand in his, stroking it with his thumb. “Get some sleep.”

  When I woke again, it was daylight and Diesel was gone. I tried not to be disappointed. I should be happy he’d been here at all. At least this morning, the awful nurse would be gone. It didn’t mean there weren’t others just as rude.

  A man wearing scrubs walked in the door, carrying a laptop. “Good morning!” he said, setting the computer on a cart. “I’m Kent, and I’m your nurse from now until five this afternoon. Or evening. However you want to look at it.”

  He rambled on about how much he hated how early it got dark this time of year, how he hated the winter weather, and how he wished he lived somewhere tropical. I was happy to listen. At least he was pleasant.

  “You’re awake,” said Diesel, walking to the opposite side of the bed.

  “You’re back.” It was the first I’d tried to talk, and I was surprised it didn’t take as much effort as it had last night.

  He held up a cup of coffee. “Just ran downstairs to get this.”

  “It smells so good.” If I felt better, I might reach out and take it out of his hands.

  “Hey, Kent. Did you find out when the doctor is coming by?” Diesel asked.

  “Any minute now, and we’ll be sure to see if you can have some of that.” Kent pointed at the cup Diesel held, then rambled on about how the coffee was so much better if you got it from the kiosk in the lobby rather than from the cafeteria. “Even that’s better than the stuff they make in the nurses’ lounge.” When he walked out, still talking about coffee, Diesel and I both laughed. Me barely, him heartily.

  “Sorry about this. I can toss it if you want.” He held up the cup.

  “Don’t you dare. It would be sacrilegious.”

  “That’s kind of what I thought. Hey, so you sound a little better.”

  “I do?”

  Diesel nodded and picked up a paper cup that sat on the tray. “Kent told me to give you these when you woke up. I guess he forgot.” He looked inside. “All melted now, though. I’ll get you some more.”

  He was out and back in a flash. “Ice chips are supposed to help.”

  I had to admit they were soothing, sliding down my throat. “You’re awfully chipper this morning.”

  “I’ve had this.” He held up the coffee. “So, uh, listen. There’s something I want to run by you.”

  I brought another spoonful of ice chips to my mouth.

  “Remember when I told you I was in Oneida Lake the night Fasano said we’d been together or whatever?”

  I nodded.

  “I think I told you I was at my parents’ house. Anyway, that might be a good place for you to recuperate.”

  My eyes opened wide. “Why?”

  “It’s bigger than the camp I’m in at Canada Lake. Plus, my mom said she, my dad, and at least one of my sisters can be there too.”

  “That’s okay. I, uh, wouldn’t want to impose.”

  “You wouldn’t be. I explained you were—”

  “Diesel. Stop. Please.”

  “What?”

  I took a deep breath, wanting to sound appreciative even though I was horrified. “Look, I know you feel responsible for me because you were supposed to be on the transport detail, but this isn’t necessary. I can make other arrangements.”

  The area around his eyes tightened. “I thought it would be nice if you had another woman to help out, but we can make do at the camp.”

  “No.”

  “What did you say?”

  “I said no. If I can’t manage on my own, then I’ll speak with Agent Fitzsimmons and ask that someone else be assigned to this investigation. Since I’ve been through one major surgery and had a heart attack, I am entitled to a leave of absence.”

  All of this was bullshit, but he didn’t know that. I mean, I was probably entitled to some kind of medical leave. I hadn’t figured out how I’d manage on my own, depending on what was involved with my recovery, but I would. This kind of thing must happen all the time. There had to be others who didn’t have anyone in their family to care for them. Maybe there was a rehab place I could be transferred to. If not that, home health care.

  “You want to leave the investigation?”

  He sounded like a kid who’d just learned there was no Santa Claus, but why? Most of the time, he acted as though he didn’t like me or thought of me as a nuisance.

  I sighed. “Diesel, what is this really about? We both know you don’t need me. You and your team are perfectly capable of handling this or any investigation on your own. Whatever it is you’re not telling me, either do so now or let me be.”

  8

  DIESEL

  Bryar exhibited her usual insight by calling me out. I should’ve expected it, but given she’d had a heart attack last night, I’d hoped she’d be more inclined to just go along with whatever I suggested. Just the idea of that made me laugh.

  “What?” she asked, folding her arms in front of her.

  “You keep me on my toes, ba—Bryar.”

  “You were about to call me babe, weren’t you?”

  I laughed again. “Look, I’m sorry, but it’s what my mom called my sisters and me.”

  “She did?”

  “Yeah, so for me, it’s kind of like honey or sweetie. That kind of thing.”

  Her eyes were opened as wide as they were when I suggested we stay at my parents’ place, but her expression wasn’t quite as horrified. As soon as I said the words, though, I realized how weird it must’ve sounded. “All I’m saying is I don’t see it as a negative thing.”

  “I see. What about the rest of it?”

  That wasn’t as easy to explain, mainly because I’d been given strict “orders” not to.

  I didn’t go downstairs just to grab coffee this morning. I’d also returned a call from Admiral after he left a voicemail saying it was urgent he speak with me.

  “I didn’t want to comment on the report I alluded to last night, but now that I’ve had more time to process it, you should know that internal affairs has officially named Agent Davies as the leak.”

  “No way,” I’d stated emphatically.

  “There’s evidence of a money trail.”

  “From where to where?” I asked.

  “They’re not certain where the money came from, but within twenty-four hours of Edwards’ death, a hundred grand showed up in her account.”

  No matter what so-called evidence there was, I maintained there was no way Bryar Davies was dirty. “Her account? It didn’t occur to whoever led this investigation that the money could have been deposited in her account without her knowledge in order to frame her?”

  “Of course it could have been.”

  “Wait. Are you devil’s advocating me?”

  Admiral didn’t say anything for a minute, and I wondered if the call had dropped. “If this is a setup, then someone in internal affairs is in on it.”

  “Which means you have a far bigger problem than who leaked Edwards’ transport details.”

  “That’s right,” he admitted.

  “How can I help?”

  He said he didn’t want to burden Agent Davies with this until she was further along in her recovery, but in the meantime, he didn’t think there was anyone he could trust within the bureau. “Do you think K19 has time to take it on in conjunction with the serial killer investigation?”

  “I’m sure we can, but it isn’t my call.”

  “I’ll get in touch with Onyx and make it official. For now, let’s keep the location of where Agent Davies is recuperating on a need-to-know basis, at least with anyone connected to the bureau. Depending on who’s involved, they may strike again if they believe their efforts to frame her failed.”

  While I’d prefer to get her away from Canada Lake, at least temporarily, we could stay at the camp. Anywhere else—including her returning to DC or to the forestry camp—was out of the question.

  How would she respond, though, if she knew there was a better-than-good chance she was being set up to take the fall for a leak that had resulted in two deaths? She’d come out swinging, that’s how. I’d bet my life on it as much as I would that she wasn’t dirty.

  Bryar cleared her throat, reminding me she was still waiting for an answer. “I’m serious. Start talking or leave.”

  “There’s an internal affairs investigation into who leaked the information about Edwards’ transport.”

  She studied me. “Go on.”

  “It’s in your best interest to keep your whereabouts undisclosed for the time being.”

  Bryar’s eyes opened wide. “I’m being framed?”

  “Unless you have some other explanation for why $100,000 showed up in your bank account the day after the ambush.”

  “Son of a motherfucking bitch,” she said under her breath.

  “Do you know who’s behind it?”

  She glared at me.

  “What?”

  “Of course I don’t know who’s behind it. Are you sure you went to Cornell? You don’t really seem bright enough to have gotten in.”

  I chuckled. Bryar was back in rare form, and while her insults were aimed at me, I preferred her this way.

  “There isn’t anything funny about someone trying to destroy my career.”

  “It’s more your opinion of me I find amusing.”

  She looked away. “You know I don’t really think those things about you.”

  “You don’t?”

  She turned back toward me. Her furrowed brow relaxed when her eyes met mine. “You know I don’t.”

  “I have sisters, remember? I’m used to it. They made sure I never got too full of myself. Being around you makes me miss them less.”

  “Do I remind you of them?”

  “Yep.” That was a flat-out lie. I’d never once looked at Bryar and thought of her as a sister. However, I had no business thinking of her as anything else. While Admiral had started out saying he wanted me to mentor her, now it was more about protecting her while helping the FBI figure out everyone who was dirty in their organization. Anything but a strictly professional relationship between her and me would be out of the question.

  The door opened, and a man who introduced himself as Bryar’s cardiologist came in.

  “I can step out if you’d prefer,” I offered.

  “You can stay,” she said without looking at me.

  I listened as he talked about her “cardiac episode” and the steps involved in her recovery.

  I couldn’t explain it, but with every word he spoke, I got the feeling there were ten more he was leaving unsaid.

  “You’ll be here for at least another three days, maybe longer.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  The feeling remained when he skirted around a straight answer. All he really said was something about waiting on lab results.

  “So…” I began once he left.

  Bryar sighed. “I know. I need to figure out what I’m going to do.”

  “Admiral is enlisting K19 to investigate whoever is behind the leak. He believes it may be worse than he originally suspected.”

  “How much worse?”

  “Internal affairs may be involved.”

  Bryar looked around the room. “I need my phone.”

  “I think it’s with the rest of your belongings.”

  “Where are those?”

  I stood and opened doors until I found a plastic bag. I reached into the bottom, pulled out her cell, and handed it to her. “Looks like you’re going to need something to wear when you get out of here.”

  “It’s dead,” she said, setting it on the bed, beside her.

  “If you’d like, I can have Swan swing by the forestry camp and get a charger along with your clothes.”

  “Thanks.” She rested her head against the pillow and closed her eyes.

  I got my own cell out and placed the call, realizing Swan might not be available to do the errand I’d volunteered her for. When I got her voicemail, I hung up and sent a text rather than leave a message. If I didn’t hear back within the hour, I’d contact Ranger instead.

  “You said it would be in my best interest to keep my whereabouts undisclosed.”

  “That’s right.”

  “Was that the reason you suggested I stay with your parents?” she asked.

  “Yes, but to clarify, I’d be there too.”

  “Why?”

  “Because we have work to do, Agent Davies. You don’t think being bedridden for a few days is going to change that, do you?”

  “Speaking of bedridden, the doctor wants you to try to walk some this morning,” said a nurse who’d come into the room. “And eat.” She handed Bryar a menu. “You can order anything from the soft category.”

  She perused the piece of paper and set it on the tray.

  I picked it up. “Nothing appetizing?”

  “I’d rather take a walk first.”

  The nurse helped get the IV pole situated and held her arm out for Bryar to hold onto.

  “I got this.” I moved to her other side and put her arm in mine.

  “I’m not good at accepting help from people,” Bryar said as we slowly took a few steps.

  “Look at it this way, Admiral is hiring me to be on your detail.”

  “He isn’t hiring your parents. Plus, if he weren’t, you’d still want to help.”

  “I like spending time with you.” It wasn’t something I should admit, but it was the truth.

  “Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.”

 

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