Breaking Through the Past, page 4
I stepped into the room a little louder than normal, so I didn’t surprise them. Melanie turned to me with a smile. I knew what that meant. It wasn’t the same sweet one she gave to Jagger. No, this was mischievous.
“No,” I told her.
She fake pouted. Her dark brown hair fell forward, straight over her shoulders when she dropped her head.
“Now you did it,” Jagger muttered.
“I didn’t do shit. Mel, I’m not going.”
Her gaze snapped up to mine. Fake pout gone. “You don’t know what I was going to even ask you.”
“I don’t? Who is it this time?”
She sighed. I knew her better than she thought I did. “You’ve met my cousin, Lindsey, before.”
“I have and there weren’t sparks flying then. Why would there be now?”
“That was last summer. She’s different now and dumped that jackass she was dating. She looks great.”
“She looked great last year too, but I didn’t hit it off with her.”
“That’s because her ex was hovering around her like he was waiting for someone to take her from him. Such a controlling asshole. I’m so glad she’s rid of him.”
“Mel, no. I don’t want to be set up. Whoever I date, I’ll find them on my own.”
She huffed out a breath. “You’re no fun.”
“Oh, I’m a lot of fun, but not with your cousin. Thanks for the recommendation though.”
“You’re insufferable.” She stood and started walking toward the door.
I ran toward her. She squealed and bolted but I was faster. I had my arm around her waist and was sweeping her feet off the floor before she could say anything else.
“What do you want me to do with her, Jag?” I asked.
He chuckled. “I’m not sure. She did try to set you up, even though she shouldn’t have been butting in.”
“You’re supposed to be on my side!” she yelled. I put her on the floor momentarily so I could pick her up again in a bridal carry. “Put me down, Jansen!” She playfully batted at my arm while laughing. Melanie was like a sister to me. I loved how she could be a mom one second, yelling at her kids, and wrestling with Jagger another, being carefree.
Instead of doing as she asked, I walked out of the building, and toward the back of their house where they had an inground pool.
Melanie started wiggling when she saw where I was heading. “Don’t you dare, Jansen. I’m warning you.”
“Your threats don’t work on me.” I smiled while closing the distance to the pool and throwing her in like she weighed nothing.
Melanie spluttered when she broke the surface, hair plastered to her face. “Jerk!”
I was about to say something back but was shoved from behind. I went flying face-first toward the water, trying to position my body so it wouldn’t hurt when I made contact. No such luck. The sting of the water sucked. But it was also how the three of us ended up in the pool fully clothed, splashing each other, and laughing our asses off.
6
STEPHEN
Fridays in the summer near the beach were their own unique brand of complicated. I’d left the college campus an hour ago, but still hadn’t arrived home from work. The traffic was horrendous. It always was on Friday nights. I knew better than to stay late on campus. We had summer Fridays for a reason.
It was my own fault I sat bottlenecked in cars for miles. I thought if I finished the last housing report, it would be one less thing on my mind over the weekend. Instead, there I sat in traffic, worried about being late for dinner with Jansen. Although, it wasn’t like this was a date and I needed to make a good first impression. We were hanging out as friends.
I liked the idea of being able to spend time with someone, without the expectation of dating them. It was relaxing in a way I hadn’t anticipated when I first asked Jansen to join me at the game. There were no expectations about how I should behave or what to talk about. I didn’t have to worry about when was the right time for intimacy. We were just two guys hanging out, enjoying ourselves.
Well, we would be once I got out of the awful traffic. Gisela leaving me the beach house when we divorced as she moved back to Germany seemed like a win-win. At least until I had to fight to get home every single Friday night in the summer.
Stopped at another light, I turned up the music. If I was going to have to suffer, I’d let the music keep me company. It was more company than Serilda had been the other night. Damn, if I didn’t wish there was a way to repair our relationship. Not that I thought spending time with her ex-boyfriend was the way back to her good graces, but for once I decided not to worry about it. It wasn’t as if Serilda made it a priority to spend the maximum amount of time with me. I had to do something for myself.
Besides me spending time with Jansen didn’t mean I wanted them to get married. I actually worried that Serilda couldn’t stick with a single man for long. Each one she found a different fault with, and that was only the ones I met. I was sure there were others who somehow didn’t make the cut quickly enough to not be noticed by the media.
The car in front of me started forward again. I inched behind them, my turn only two blocks away.
Hopefully, someday, she’d grow out of this selfish streak. The little girl I raised in that beach house was in there somewhere. The one with the kind heart and warm smile. Combine her with the confident, self-assured woman I had dinner with the other night, and she would be unstoppable.
Eventually, I pulled into the alley behind my house and parked in front of the garage. No point in pulling in when I needed to get in and out, then on my way to the restaurant. Jogging up the stairs, I tugged out my phone and sent a quick text to Jansen.
Me: Sorry. Going to be about 15 minutes late.
Jansen: No worries. I’ll grab us a table.
If he was going to be mad, I’d find out soon. The only thing I could do now was get changed and get myself back out the door. I tugged off the tie and tossed it on the bed, my button-down shirt quickly following it.
The temperature was through the roof this week. Upper nineties left everything hot, even into the night as the sun set. If it hadn’t been for the interview I’d had earlier in the day, I would have gone with my normal, summer Friday, business-casual attire. But I couldn’t bring myself to wear that and allow it to be the first impression a new employee had of me.
I grabbed a light blue polo from my closet and pulled on a pair of jeans. With wallet and keys in hand, I was back out to the car to brave the traffic again.
By the time I arrived at O’Malley’s, I was only twenty minutes late. A little more than I wanted, but better than it could have been. I immediately scanned the room looking for Jansen, hoping he hadn’t gotten pissed and left. Then I reminded myself this wasn’t a date. This was two friends having dinner. There was no reason for anyone to get pissed off and leave because someone was late.
His dark curls instantly caught my attention at one of the booths across from the bar. I made my way over to the side of the table.
“Sorry I’m late,” I said, sliding into the booth.
Jansen looked up from the menu he’d been reading and smiled. “No worries. Traffic is brutal out there tonight.”
I laughed and relaxed back into the seat. “You’re not kidding. It felt worse than Fourth of July weekend.”
Jansen chuckled. “Damn, that was awful.”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have stayed to review the last housing report. I didn’t think it would take me as long as it did to go through it.”
“It’s not a problem. Besides, the game just started.”
I glanced up at the TV and noticed the Emperors’ game on. Jansen must have picked this booth so we could watch it in the background while we talked. “They seem to be on a winning streak.”
“I’m happy for them.”
“Been watching more baseball since the game?”
He smiled and reached for the beer that already sat in front of him. “I didn’t realize how much I’d enjoy it. I will say that watching it in person is better than seeing it on TV.”
“I can say the same about hockey.”
“Hi. Is there something I can get you to drink while you look over the menu?” the waitress asked when she stepped up to the table. I noticed her eyes straying to Jansen every few seconds. I couldn’t blame her; he was exceptionally attractive. It was one of the first things I noticed about him when Serilda first introduced us. She had always chosen attractive people, but something about his easygoing smile and kind demeanor added to his appeal. The waitress had good taste.
“Yes, please. I’ll take a Sam Adams.” She looked at me for a brief second before turning her attention back to Jansen.
“Sure. And you still need a few minutes, right?”
“We do.”
When Jansen smiled at her, a light flush crept up her cheeks. She smiled back and my gut tightened for a moment before I reminded myself that Serilda had dumped him. The poor man was free to date whomever he chose. In the end, it was Serilda’s loss. These were the things I told myself since I didn’t want to examine exactly what was making my stomach so uncomfortable.
His gaze didn’t linger for long before he turned back to face me. “What was wrong with the housing?”
My shock at the way he dismissed the waitress had me quiet for a moment. “Did you see the way the waitress was looking at you?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, but I’m not interested. I’m hanging out with you tonight. And I want something serious. Someone to come home to.”
I reached for the menu in front of me as the ache in my chest returned. “Don’t we all.”
Jansen put his finger on the top of my menu and pulled it down. “I don’t mean to pry, and you can tell me to butt out, but what happened between you and Peter?”
I sighed. “You’re not being nosy. It’s a fair question, but let’s pick our dinner first before the waitress comes back.”
It was probably a little selfish of me, but I didn’t want her to have to linger longer at our table than necessary. When we were both ready, we placed our menus at the end of the table. We sat there for a moment in silence while I tried to figure out a way to not make myself look like the most boring person in the world.
“He wanted more than I could give him.”
“More?” Jansen’s brows drew together. I didn’t know whether he was afraid of the answer or simply curious.
“Let’s just say I’m not the most exciting person. I like sports and documentaries. I enjoy reading and relaxing with a glass of wine or beer. I have fun out at dinner with friends. Peter used to be like that. We always went to the games or spent time watching the sunset on the deck. Then something changed. He wanted to go out more. Clubbing. Meeting new people to hang out with.”
I leaned back and closed my eyes. There was no way to sugarcoat the fact I was boring. “He said I needed to get out more. That I needed a life outside of work, history, and sports.” I opened my eyes again. “We had a fight that night and when I got home from work the next day, he was gone. I haven’t heard from him since.”
“Wow, what an asshole. Fuck him for not appreciating the person you are. Clubbing is great every once in a while, but it’s not something I like to do often. A night relaxing and talking to someone while watching the sunset sounds great to me.” Jansen’s gaze held mine.
“Did you guys decide what you want to order?”
I startled at the sound of the waitress’s voice, when I glanced over my beer sitting on the table. “Sorry. Yes, could I have the bacon cheeseburger and fries, please?”
She nodded and turned back to Jansen; her smile as sweet as it had been earlier. “Wings and fries for me, please.”
She picked up the menus with a wink. “I’ll put those right in for you.”
Once again, Jansen ignored her flirting and turned his attention to me. The unease from earlier settled a bit in my stomach. Jansen now knew how unexciting I was and still wanted to spend time with me. He could have stuck with beer and bolted as soon as he heard the story about Peter but didn’t.
Friendship most definitely won out on an actual date.
But I didn’t want to spend the time rehashing what Peter lost out on, so I moved to a happier topic.
“How is your family doing?”
The smile he’d given the waitress had been friendly. This one lit up his entire face. “They’re good. I spoke to my brother the other day. I really miss them.”
“Why don’t you go home for the summer? I know you need to train, but a lot of players train at home.”
“I visited them already. Plus, my best friend is my trainer and he’s here. I still call often and check in with them, especially with my brother, Gareth.”
“Especially Gareth?”
“Here you go, boys.” The waitress slid the plates onto the table. “Anything else?” We ordered another round of drinks, then she was gone.
“I’m from a small town that’s not very queer friendly. He got bullied a lot when he came out as bi in high school.”
I shook my head as I reached for the ketchup. “I can only imagine. Things have gotten a little better since I came out, but not much.”
“It hasn’t always been easy for him. If it wasn’t for our entire family being there, I’m sure he would have left as soon as he graduated high school.”
“Espen is more progressive than other places. If he ever wants to talk, I’d be more than happy to speak with him. You can give him my number.”
He grinned. “Thanks, Stephen. I really appreciate that.”
As I picked up my burger, cheers erupted around the room. My face darted to the TV screen to see Declan Armitage jogging around the bases after hitting a grand slam. “Yes.”
“Think they’ll make the playoffs again this year?”
I looked over to see Jansen watching the screen with interest. We spent the night talking baseball and eating. Jansen made me laugh and smile more than I had in a long while.
It was nice to enjoy the night with no pressure.
7
JANSEN
My alarm went off, startling me out of a weird dream. I was having dinner with Stephen, much like I was last night, but this one was at my place, and I had lit candles. I didn’t think I’d ever lit a candle in my life. There was soft music playing in the background, again not my thing. I was totally wining and dining him. In the dream, I wanted it, wanted him. We enjoyed our meal and smiled as we talked. We were about to kiss when an awful, loud alarm blared through my phone.
“What the fuck?” I muttered to myself.
I’d had a lot of dreams over the years. Most involved sex, especially when I wasn’t getting any. It was a way for my brain to torture me. But I didn’t try to romance someone.
My dick throbbed. Shit, I was hard too? Was it the thought of Stephen that got me this way or was it simply morning wood? Either way, I was ignoring it. My dick had to deflate on its own.
The day wore on and I couldn’t get Stephen out of my head. It was a good thing I didn’t have to train today, or I probably would have ended up hurting myself since my concentration was shit. I cleaned my condo, another thing I didn’t want to pay anyone to do. I liked the monotony of it. Something I could do and let my mind wander. Which is what happened, and it stayed on Stephen the entire time.
What was it about him I enjoyed so much? His company, yes. He was easy to talk to. I was sure others saw him as a man who didn’t like to have fun like his dickhead ex, but I saw that side of him in a different, positive way. No, we weren’t out in the club, nor did we need to be. Stephen gave me his smiles, laughed when we talked. He joked too. We watched the Emperors and cheered together when they won. It was so easy being with him. I wanted more.
Jagger’s words rattled around in my head still, asking me if I had the hots for teacher. Did I? I hadn’t been attracted to a guy before.
I flipped through the channels before I landed on a movie where an actor was stripping his shirt off. It was soaking wet due to him being caught in the rain. His muscles flexed. His scruffy jaw had water dripping off it. I glanced down at my dick. Nothing.
It could just be Stephen. Although, when I thought about the women I was with in the past, I had no problem getting it up for them whether I was in a relationship or not. I groaned and dropped my head back on the couch. I needed to talk to someone, but who?
A week had passed since I checked in with Knox. I guessed he was going to have to listen to me try to work this out. It was almost noon; he’d be up by now.
The phone rang twice before he answered. “Kenna, I’m beginning to think you have a crush on me. I’m going to have to let you down easy. You’re not my type.”
I snorted. “I’m everyone’s type, jackass. You’ve seen my body. It’s irresistible.”
“Not what I would call you.”
“What are you up to today?”
“Well, Kara didn’t go out, so I got to spend the night in and did absolutely nothing. I liked it.”
“Your hand sore?”
“Fuck you,” he said without any anger. “What about you?”
“My hand is not sore, but I also didn’t jack off this morning.”
“Brought someone home with you last night then?”
“Nah, I asked Stephen to dinner.”
There was a pause before he spoke. “You saw him again?”
“I did. I like hanging out with him. He’s just a normal guy. Not someone who has fans following him around or lives and breathes sports.”
“I get that. Are you going to see him again?”
I let out a sigh. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Knox. I like spending time with him. Then I had this weird dream last night where I was trying to romance him and was about to kiss him when my alarm went off. I’m not sure what to make of it.”
“Could just be a dream.”
“Yeah, or it could be more.”
