First Love, Last Love, page 7
She started to walk away but jake’s next words stopped her cold.
“Yes, I know. So am I.”
Chapter Five
“You can’t be serious,” Beth choked.
“Very serious. Your sister-in-law called me this morning. Naturally I assured her that since we’re neighbors, I’d be happy to escort you. “Ignoring Beth’s gasp, he added, “She worries about you driving alone at night, you know.”
Beth was so rattled she couldn’t utter a sound. For a full ten seconds she just gaped at him. Then her mouth snapped shut and her eyes narrowed dangerously as her shocked disbelief gave way to simmering anger. “I don’t know how you managed it, but you’re crazy if you think I’m going to let you get away with this,” she hissed through lips so stiff they barely moved. “Go where you please; I can’t stop you. But I darned well don’t have to go with you.”
Whirling around on her heel, she started to stalk away, but Jake grabbed her upper arm and brought her to a halt.
“Beth, be reasonable. I didn’t arrange this invitation, but I certainly wasn’t goin to turn it down. Even if you weren’t going to be there I would have accepted because Will is a business colleague. Now it’s only a short drive and they’re expecting us to come together. Besides, I need you to show me the way.” He met her glower with a persuasive smile and lifted his brows. “If I promise not to ravish you on the front seat of the car, will you let me drive you?”
Disarmed by the teasing note in his voice, Beth felt her anger begin to fade. The Jake she had known ten years ago had been serious, always somberly intense. He had never shown her a lighter side. She found it fascinating, and the devilish gleam in his eyes did funny things to her insides.
She searched his face and nawed her lower lip indecisively. Had she overreacted? Knowing Jake, she doubted it. He may not have inveigled this invitation to dinner, but he wasn’t above using it for his own benefit. Still, if she insisted on driving her own car he would just follow her, and then what would she have accomplished, other than making herself look like a fool.
And, as badly as she hated to admit it, a part of her, a stupid, traitorous part, the part that had kept her awake until all hours the night before reliving that soul-stirring kiss, wanted to go with him. Beth hated the conflicting emotions that pulled at her. She felt torn in two, filled with anger and longing all at the same time.
“Come on, Beth. We’re just talking about a ten-minute drive. It’s no big deal,” jake argued softly, seeing the indecision on her face. He released her arm and placed his hand against the small of her back, urging her toward the elevator.
Simmering with resentment but unable to resist any longer, Beth shot him a cold look and, when the doors opened, stepped inside the cubicle.
“If it’s not too much to ask, would you mind telling me what’s going on?”
The two men had barely disappeared into Will’s study when mary asked the question in her best no-nonsense voice. Beth had been expecting it. When Will had suggested showing Jake his collection of black-powder antique guns, she had known what was coming.
Delaying as long as she could, Beth sipped her coffee, then lifted her shoulders and said as nonchalantly as she could manage, “Why nothing. Nothing at all.”
“Who do you think you’re kidding? You hardly said three words all through dinner, and considering those glacial looks you’ve been giving him, I wouldn’t be surprised if Jake came down with frostbite at any moment. So don’t give me that ‘nothing’ routine. Something’s bugging you and I want to know what it is.”
A reluctant smile pulled at Beth’s mouth. She should have known better than to try to hide anything from Mary. Ever since Beth had married into the family, Mary Prescott had been mothering her, treating her like a daughter she’d never had. And after raising four sons, there was very little that got by her. Sighing, Beth placed her coffee cup on the low table in front of the sofa and met the older woman’s penetrating look. “All right. If you must know, Jake Forrest has practically taken over my life and he’s driving me stark, raving mad.”
“In only five days?” Mary’s brows shot skyward, “The man must be one heck of a fast worker.”
“Oh, he’s that, all right. But as it happens, I’ve known Jake for a lot longer than five days. At one time we were engaged.” Seeing Mary’s startled look, Beth frowned. “I’m surprised Will didn’t tell you.”
“You know Will,” Mary said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “He’s so wrapped up in that lab of his, he hardly knows what’s going on around him most of the time.”
“What’s goin on is, Jake’s trying to pick up our relationship where it left off ten years ago.” Tautly, her eyes fixed on her finers twisting together in her lap, she told Mary the whole story, ending with their latest confrontation, just a few hours ago. “ . . . and when I stepped outside, there he stood, waiting for me.”
Mary sighed heavily, her eyes warm with sympathy. “Well now, at last I understand what caused that haunted look you wore when we first met. At the time Daniel told us that you had just lost your father, but I’ve always suspected there was more to it than that.” She reached over and gave one of Beth’s hands a motherly pat. “Beth dear, I know you were terribly hurt, and I’m sorry, but . . . well . . . from what you’ve told me, I’d say you were both victims of this Arlene person.”
“Maybe.” Beth conceded grudgingly. “But it’s too late now to go back. We can’t just pretend that it never happened and pick up where we left off.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Mary mused thoughtfully. “It wouldn’t be easy, true, but to recapture a love like that, it may just be worth the effort.”
“Mary! I’m surprised at you! Daniel had only been dead a little over a year. I would think that you and Will would resent it if I became involved with another man so soon. Especially with Jake.”
“Beth, dear, we are well aware that you loved Daniel, and you made him very happy for eight years, but the fact remains that he is gone now. You are very much alive, and Daniel, more than anyone, would want you to be happy.”
“But that’s just it. I don’t think I can be happy with Jake. Not now. But I just can’t seem to make him understand that.”
“Mmm. Well, I wouldn’t let it worry me. He can’t force you to do something you don’t want to do, you know.”
Leaving the sofa, Beth began to pace up and down the room. “That’s what I’ve been teeling myself,” she said with a sigh, throwing Mary a harried glance over her shoulder. “But the trouble is, the attraction is still there. It’s maddening and irritating and I hate it, but it’s there all the same.”
“I see,” Mary said thoughtfully. “Then what you’re saying is, it’s not so much that you’re worried about Jake, but your reaction to him.”
The words, almost identical to the ones Jake had taunted her with the night before, brought Beth spinning around, her face taut with shock and anger. “No! That’s not . . .”
The denial that had sprung automatically to her lips faded away when she met the pity and understanding in Mary’s knowing look. Shoulders slumping, Beth dropped back down on the sofa beside her.
“Oh, Mary, when I think about what a naive fool I was ten years ago, I cringe. I was blindly, totally, head-over-heels in love. I opened myself to that man, heart, body and soul, trusted him absolutely. When he betrayed me I thought I would die. I wanted to die.” Beth’s voice grew low and husky, vibrating with emotion. “I don’t ever want to be that vulnerable again.”
“Love always makes us vulnerable,” Mary said with a soft smile. “It’s an inherent part of the emotion. It’s unavoidable.”
“Well I don’t love Jake anymore,” Beth stated vehemently. “I won’t love him.”
“Maybe,” mary replied placidly. “But you sure as heck feel something for him.” They heard the men returning, and Mary touched Beth’s arm and added in a low voice, “Don’t fight your feelings, dear. Go with them. See where they lead you.” She paused and winked devilishly. “You may as well because I have a feeling your Jake isn’t going to give up until you do.”
Throughout the rest of the evening and during the drive home, Beth thought about Mary’s advice. It was probably very sound, she admitted somewhat reluctantly, but the problem was-she wasn’t sure exactly what her feelings were. Around Jake, her emotions had a disturbing tendency to swing back and forth between breathless excitement and burning anger.
Beth was so absorbed in her thoughts, it wasn’t until Jake opened the door on her side of the car that she realized, with a start, that they had arrived home.
“You’re awfully quiet,” he commented as he guided her through the rows of parked cars with his hand at the small of her back. “Don’t tell me you’re still angry. Haven’t I behaved myself all evening, just like I promised?”
Drawn by the teasing note in his voice Beth looked up and found him smiling down at her, his eyes warm and crinkled attractively at the corners, and her breath caught at the sheer virile beauty of his lean, dark face. “Yes. Yes you have,” she said softly.
The elevator doors opened at the touch of the button, and they stepped inside. Beth leaned against the wall opposite Jake and studied him while he set the cubicle in motion. Should she do as Mary suggested and stop fighting him? Just let things run their course? Resisting him certainly hadn’t gotten any results, and given Jake’s sheer determination, it probably wouldn’t. Maybe a few weeks of togetherness would prove to both of them that the only thing that was drawing them to one another now was the memory of a lost love.
Beth didn’t know what to do. A part of her wanted to let her guard down and just go with the flow, but another part of her was appalled by the idea. With Jake she had known the height of ecstasy and the depth of despair. She wasn’t sure she wanted to risk either extreme again.
Her mind was still churning with indecision when they reached her door. After unlocking it, Beth turned to face Jake, and her heart gave a little jerk. He was watching her intently, his face taut and dark, his eyes burning with unmistakable desire as they skimmed over her face. “Beth,” he whispered huskily, leaning toward her, his heavy-lidded gaze fixed on her lips.
Beth’s heart began to pound like a kettle drum when she realized that he was about to kiss her. Helplessl, she felt her body go warm and soft, felt herself lean toward him, her lips parting in silent invitation, but at the last moment a spark of sanity returned, and she turned her head aside. “No, Jake,” she protested weakly. “Please don’t”
He strung a line of nibbling kisses across her cheek and down the elegant line of her jaw. His breath was warm and moist against her skin, sending delicate shivers racing down her spine. “Don’t what? Don’t kiss you? Don’t want you?” His tongue gently teased the corner of her mouth. “Don’t love you?” With sharp, teasing little nips, he worried her lower lip, then drew it into his mouth and sucked gently. The low moan that escaped her brought an answering growl rumblin up from deep in his chest. “You asked too much, darling,” he shispered huskily against her lips. “Don’t you know by now that I’ll never stop loving you.”
“Oh, Jake.” Beth breathlessly said his name in an agonized little voice. “I . . . don’t think . . . “
Her freeble protest was pushed back into her throat as Jake’s mouth opened over hers. The kiss was deep and thrusting and hot, stealing her breath away and sending her blood suring through her veins like liquid fire. Jake gathered her close, widening his stance and pressing her to him with shattering intimacy. Weak and trembling, Beth clung to him. She was melting from within, the throbbing heat at the core of her being spreading outward, consuming her. Her body was warm and soft and pliant-his was hard, urgent, demanding.
Jake tore his lips from hers and buried his face in the side of her neck. His breathing was harsh and labored, filtering through her hair and warmly caressing her scalp. “Oh, darling, how can you deny this? Deny us? The magic is still there. I know you can feel it.” He nibbled his way up the side of her neck and caught her lobe between his teeth and tuged gently. “Come back to me, Beth,” he urged in a voice gone low and hoarse with need. “Let me into your life again. You won’t regret it. I promise.”
Eyes closed, her head thrown back, Beth drew deep gulps of air into her lungs as she fought to bring her rioting senses under control. Jake’s words, instead of convinving her, brought her doubts back into sharp focus, stirring memories of promises made, of love and trust given freely . . . of betrayal and pain.
Lifting her lids, she pressed her palms against his chest and pushed back as far as his arms would allow. Her lips were slightly swollen from his kiss and her face still bore the flush of passion, but her eyes held confusion and doubt, and just a touch of fear. “Let me go, Jake,” she said quietly, if a little shakily. “You’re rushing me. You promised you wouldn’t do that.”
“Beth, I . . .”
“Don’t push me, Jake!” she snapped, shoving against his chest.
Jake released her, his arms falling to his sides. She saw his shoulders slump, saw the pain and disappointment that flickered across his face, and felt a queer little stab deep in her chest. His lips compressed and a look of grim resignation settled over his face as he stepped back. “All right. I’ll wait,” he said with a weary sigh. Reaching out, he ran the back of his knuckles over her cheek and smiled sadly. “Good night, sweetheart.”
In a turmoil of confusion and doubt, Beth watched him turn away and open the door across the hall. Indecision gnawing at her once again, she chewed at her lower lip and unconsciously twisted her hands together, her brow furrowed. Just as he was about to step inside she stopped him.
“Jake?”
He turned around, his brows raised. “Yes?”
“I, uh. That is . . . “ She stopped and drew a deep breath, then surprised them both with her next words. “Would . . . would you like to come over for breakfast tomorrow?” she asked hesitantly. “Say about nine?”
Something flared in Jake’s eyes, and slowly a smile spread over his face, but before he could reply Beth stopped him with a cautioning wave of her hand, and blurted out in a rush, “Now I’m not promising anything, you understand. This is just breakfast. And . . . and maybe a talk. That’s all.”
“Whatever you say,” Jake agreed, his smile holding. “I’ll see you at nine.”
Beth slipped inside her apartment and locked the door, then closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against it. “Why on earth did I do that?” she whispered shakily.
“You have no reason to worry. You haven’t committed yourself to anything beyond a meal and a little conversatiion,” Beth murmured as she adjusted the small bouquet of spring flowers in the center of the dining room table. It was a litany she had repeated to herself countless times since she awoke several hours earlier, and it helped no more now than it had the first time. Her stomach still felt as though it contained a thousand fluttering butterflies.
Because she knew, deep down, that no matter how she rationalized it, by issuing that impulsive invitation, she had opened the door a crack. And a crack was all a man like Jake needed. Beth sighed heavily and needlessly adjusted the two place settings. She had no idea why she’d done it. But whatever the reason, she had no choice now but to follow Mary’s advice.
Stepping back, Beth tilted her head to one side and inspected her handiwork. A lace and linen cloth covered the mahogany table, which was set with gleaming china and silver and delicate crystal. On the sideboard, a covered chafing dish held sausage and baked apples, and the bread warmer was filled with fresh-baked biscuits. A pot of just-perked coffee sat beside two silver pitchers, one filled with ice water and the other with orange juice. In the kitchn, the ingredients for omelets were lined up on the counter, ready for last-minute preparation.
The setting was a bit formal, but it was either that or the breakfast nook in the kitchen. Her plans to serve the meal on the terrace had undergone a hasty revision that morning when she awoke to rolling thunder, and rain lashing against the small panes of the French dorrs that led onto the terrace from almost every room in the spawling penthouse.
The melodious notes of the door chimes floating through the apartment had an alarming effect on Beth’s pluse rate. It kicked into an even higher gear when she opened the door and encountered Jake’s warm smile. Dressed in casually elegant gray sslacks and a dark blue, silky sport shirt, he looked heart-stoppingly attractive . . . and totally male. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to just below his elbows, revealing brawny forearms covered with a sprinkling of black hair. The same dark silkiness was visible at the V opening of his collar. Beth stared at it, her pulse pounding in her throat, swash with memories of how it felt to run her fingers through that pelt of chest hair, the feathery touch of it against the tips of her breasts, the heady male scent she inhaled when she buried her nose in it, her lips and tongue seeking the flat nipples and firm flesh it hid.
“Good morning,” Jake said huskily, jerking her out of her erotic memories, only to find that he was subjecting her to the same intimate inspection. An appreciative gleam lit his eyes as they roamed over her flowing, green lounging pajamas. His gaze lingered fractionally on the rounded fullness of her breasts, and on the wide sash circling her tiny waist, before dropping down over the gentle curves of her hips and legs to the strappy high-heeled sandals on her feet. His eyes returned to hers and his smile grew warmer. “You look very lovely this morning.”
Beth was having trouble breathing. Stepping back, she motioned him inside. “Breakfast is almost ready,” she said hurriedly. “I’m afraid we’ll have to have it in the dining room. The terrace would have been better but the rain makes that impossible.” She was chattering and she knew it, but she couldn’t seem to stop. “Of course, I suppose the farmers need the rain for their spring crops. At leaset that’s what you hear on the news and weather.”
