First Love, Last Love, page 3
The unleashed fury that emanated from him would have had most women qualing, but Beth, in too much of a rage to worry about someone else’s aner, stood her ground. Her face white, her body shaking with fury, she glared up at him. “Is that what you think?” she spat our, her voice trembling with the force of her emotions. “That I married an old man for his money?” She laughed derisively and shook her head. The look she gave him was filled with scorn. “Daniel Prescott? Old? Come with me. I want to show you something.”
Without waiting to see if he would follow, Beth marched out of the conference room and down the hall to the oak door which bore her name in discreet gold letters. Impatiently, she flung it open and stalked inside, going immediately to the cherry-wood desk that sat before the wall of glass.
Jake followed her into the room and closed the door behind him. Lingering anger was still evident in his face, but mixed with it was a measure of curiosity and caution. He advanced across the room slowly, his eyes narrowing as he watched her snatch up a framed picture from her desk.
Beth whirled around and stormed toward him, meeting him halfway. Her face was rigid and there was a white line around her set mouth. “Here. This is the old man I married,” she said through clenched teeth, shoving the photo in his hand. “And this picture of Daniel was taken only three months before his death. When we married nine years ago, he was thirty-nine, just two years older than you are now. Is that what you consider old?”
Staring down at the picture, Jake felt his chest tighten painfully, his breathing become shallow. He had to stifle the urge to smash the damned thing. The face that smiled back at him was that of a handsome, virile man in his prime. Thick, casually styled blond hair swept across a broad forehead, and crinkling laugh lines fanned out from the corners of deep-set blue eyes that twinkled mischievously. The face was lean, strong, intelligent, full of character. Sculpted male lips were curved into a sensuous smile that tempted and beckoned, and Jake felt a burning rage as he wondered how many times Daniel Prescott had looked at Beth that way.
Clenching his jaw, he thrust the picture back into her hands. “All right. So Prescott wasn’t all that old. He was still rich. Can you deny that you dumped Ty Graham because you’d faound a richer catch? The same way you dumped me for Ty?”
Beth stared at him, her mouth agape. “Are you crazy? I’ve never even been out with Ty Graham,” she denied heatedly. “And don’t think you can shift the blame for our breakup on me.If you’ll recall, I was the one who got dumped.”
“Knock it off, Beth. It won’t work. I was waiting for you at your sorority house the night you returned from spending the weekend with Ty. I saw him carrying in your suitcase.”
“What? You couldn’t have, because I never . . .” Beth stopped, an arrested expression on her face as a memory from ten years ago flickered in her mind. It had been a Sunday night. The night before she had learned, in the most shocking way possible, that Jake was having an affair with Arlene.
“I see you finally remembered,” Jake drawled scornfully, and Beth blinked, coming back to the present by slow degrees.
The memory of that time brought with it a bitterness and anger she hadn’t known in years, swelling within her until she was trembling with rage, part of which was self-directed. Why? Why does it still hurt after all this time?
Exerting every ounce of control she possessed, Beth lifted her chin and gave him an icy stare. “Yes, I think I do,” she admitted with a stony calm that amazed even her. “As I recall, we’d had an argument and I had gone home to Navasota to visit my father. I had thought I’d give you the weekend to cool off.”
“Of course. And you decided to take Ty along with you for company, I suppose.”
“As I was returning Saturday night my car broke down just outside of town,” she continued in a dull monotone, ignoring his caustic comment as though he hadn’t even spoken. “First I called your apartment to see if you could come pick me up, but when I got no answer I called the sorority house. Arlene answered and said she would send someone for me. That someone turned out to be Ty Graham.”
The anger seemed to drain out of Jake in a sudden rush, leaving him pale and shaken. Uncertainty and dread mingling in his eyes, he stared at Beth’s cold, remote features. He licked his suddenly dry lips and swallowed hard. “Bu-bu . . . Arlene was waiting with me in the lounge. Sh-she would have told me if you had called,” he protested half-heartedly. But even as the words left his mouth, Jake remembered Arlene excusing herself to answer the phone in the hall, remembered that she had been one an inordinate amount of time, remembered, with a sick sensation in the pit of his stomach, the self-satisfied air she had worn when she had returned to commiserate with him over Beth’s unfaithfulness. The sick sensation grew worse as he met the skepticism in Beth’s expression, and as the last damning memory slithered through his mind, he closed his eyes and groaned, his hands balling into tight fists at his side. “My God,” he said in an agonized voice. “It was Arlene who told me you had gone away with Ty for the weekend.”
“And you believed her?”
The soft, accusing question flailed Jake like a steel-tipped whip, and his eyes snapped open. “When I saw you and Ty come in together . . . him carrying your suitcase, I . . . “ A look of despair spread over Jake’s face, and he spread his hands wide in helpless frustration.
“You immediately accepted everything Arlene had told you as gospel,” Beth finished for him. “Why? Why, Jake? Why would you take the word of a conniving, hateful witch like Arlene without even giving me the benefit of the doubt?”
Jake felt as though he were coming completely unstrung. For ten long years he had held on to his anger against Beth for what he thought she had done to him, nursing it as a defense against the pain. Now, to find out that she was innocent, that the whole thing had been one of Arlene’s sneaking, vile tricks, was the most devastating thing he had ever experienced. And there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Arlene had engineered the whole thing. He knew from bitter experience just how devious and conniving his ex-wife could be. Utter despair enveloped Jake as he thought of the hurt she had caused, the long, lonely years apart from Beth, years spent trying so hard to hate her. The waste! Oh, God, the waste!
He looked at her, a desperate plea in his silvery gray eyes. “Beth, you’ve got to understand. It nearly killed me when I thought you’d been with Ty. I was hurting so badly I didn’t know what to do.”
“You could have come to me, Jake. You could have trusted me. Had faith in my love for you.” Beth lifted her chin and her lovely face grew hard, her blue eyes narrowing with bitterness. “Instead, you took Arlene into your bed that very night,” she added softly, accusingly.
A cynical little twitch lifted one corner of her mouth at his look of surprise. “Oh, yes, I knew about that. You see, I came by your apartment on my way to class the next morning. Arlene opened the door, wearing your robe.”
“Oh my God.” The words came out in a whispery groan. Jake had never known pain like he knew in that moment. For the first time, he realized just how much he had hurt Beth, the only woman he had ever loved. He remembered vividly how he had suffered when he believed she had been unfaithful. How much worse it must have been for her, he thought remorsefully, knowing he was involved with Arlene, thinking he had dropped her for that bitch. With bitter self-disgust, he recalled the way he had flaunted his relationship with Arlene in those few weeks before Beth had left school. Stupid fool that he was, he had been trying to salve his pride by showing her that her desertion meant nothing to him. An intense sadness seemed to permeate to Jake’s very sould as he recalled Beth’s stricken look whenever she had encountered him with Arlene, the way she had always averted her face and hurried on by. At the time it had afforded him a great deal of vindictive pleasure. Now he ached for her, just thinking about it. Staring at her proud, pale face, he longed with all his heart to hold her in his arms and soothe away her pain, but he knew from her expression that she would not welcome his touch. And he didn’t blame her.
“I’m sorry. Lord, I’m so sorry, Beth,” he declared in an agonized voice. When she made no comment, just continued to stare at him in that cold, unfeeling way, he raked an agitated hand through his hair and added, “That’s why you left school, isn’t it? Because I had hurt and humiliated you.”
“I left school initially because my father had had a heart attack,” she replied stonily. “Then, after his death, when I discovered there was no money left, there was no question of returning.”
“Oh, Beth, you shouldn’t have had to go through that all alone. You should have called me. No matter how things stood between us, you knew I was fond of your dad. I would have come if I’d known.”
The bitterness in Beth’s face intensified, and she stared at him for several long moments. Then a small, mirthless laugh spilled from her. “Oh, but I did try to call you, Jake. A few hours before my father died he was asking for you. He couldn’t understand why you weren’t with me. I stalled as lon as I could, but finally I called your apartment.” She paused, then added quietly, “A friend of yours answered the phone. He told me you and Arlene had just left to get married.”
Jake reeled under the impact of her words, his stomach lurching sickeningly. To have heard that news and lost her father all in the same day must have devastated her. Guilt and despair and a deep compassion flooded him. At that moment he would have given anything on earth, everything he possessed, to undo the harm he’d done her.
“Oh, Beth, darling, I’m so sorry,” he said in a rush, his voice cracking with emotion. “So very sorry. I wouldn’t have knowingly hurt you that way for anything. It was all a mistake. A ghastly, stupid mistake.” Jake stepped forward, his hand outstretched, his expression pleading. “But I’ll make it up to you, sweetheart. Just give me a chance. I’ll help you forget all the pain, all the heartache. I swear I will.”
To his astonishment, Beth smiled-a distubringly cool little smile that didn’t touch her eyes. “That won’t be necessary,” she assured him politely as she turned and headed for the door. With her hand on the knob, she paused and added with soft relish, “You see . . . Daniel did that a long time ago.”
His face ashen, Jake stood rooted to the spot and watched as the door closed behind her with a soft click.
For a few merciful seconds he was paralyzed. He simply stared at the oak panel with unfocused eyes. But then the numbness began to wear off, and the pain consumed him, rushing up inside, filling every cell, every molecule in his body. It swelled in his chest, making breathing almost impossible. With a groan, Jake closed his eyes and lowered his head, his shoulders slumping. He hadn’t cried since he was ten years old, but he felt like crying now. He’d lost her for good, and it was his fault. All his fault.
Several minutes ticked by, but he remained motionless, clenching and unclenching his fists, struggling with the despair and pain. Finally he raised his head and, with stiff, jerky movements, turned and walked blindly out of the room.
“Hi, Jake. Finished with the tour?” Hal asked amiably when they met in the hall. “Jake? Jake, what’s wrong?”
Jake walked on by. At the elevator he jabbed the down button and stepped inside, oblivious to Hal’s questions or the note of concern in his voice.
In the ladies’ room, Beth sat at the marble vanity, forcing herself to breathe slowly and deeply, her head propped in her hands. It no longer matters, she told herself fiercely. It happened a long time ago. It’s over. Finished. Knowing why it happened doesn’t change anything. Anyway, she had gotten over Jake Forrest years ago. He no longer had the power to hurt her.
Determinedly, she lifted her head and rose to her feet. Just as she reached the door she heard Hal Thorpe frantically calling Jake’s name. Beth stopped and listened. Hal’s voice grew fainter and more anxious as he moved away down the hall. She heard the ping of the elevator and the soft rattle of the doors sliding shut. Then nothing.
Beth waited a minute longer, but when the silence lengthened she pushed through the door and returned to her office.
She sank down onto the chair behind her desk, leaned her head back against its high back and closed her eyes, willing her agitated breathing to slow, her taut nerves to relax. It was hopeless. Memories she had held at bay for hours now pressed in on her. With sickening clarity, Beth could remember every detail of that awful morning when her world had come crashing down around her.
Like a fool, she had eagerly climbed the rickety steps to Jake’s apartment. After the two-day separation, which had seemed endless to her, she had been anxious to see him, certain his temper had cooled by then. There had been no warning. In retrosspect, the day had been almost obscenely beautiful. It had been early spring, the morning warm and humid, the blue sky dotted with cotton-ball clouds. Beth recalled smiling at the trill of birdsong that filled the air as she waited for Jake to answer her knock.
At the sound of the door opening, she had turned, and froze, her smile fading at the sight of Arlene standing there, clad in Jake’s battered terry-cloth robe.
Biting her lip, beth moaned softly. To this day, she could still see the malicious satisfaction in Arlene’s eyes, the smug expression that taunted silently. Worse, she could still hear her voice.
“Why, good morning, Beth,” she’d drawled hatefully, her mouth curving into a cruel smile. With languid movements, Arlene had leaned a shoulder against the door frame and adjusted the oversized robe around her, making sure that Beth realized she was naked beneath the garment. “I’m sorry I can’t ask you in, but Jake is still sleeping.” She shifted slightly and glanced over her shoulder, and Beth’s gaze went past her to the iron bed, where jake lay spawled on his back, the tangled sheet barely covering the lower portion of his naked form. “He had a very . . . ah . . . activee night,” Arlene purred. Her smile widened at the look of shock and pain on Beth’s face, and she added silkily, “We both did.”
With a choked cry, Beth had turned and stumbled down the stairs.
Now, mercifully, she could recall few of the details of the weeks that followed. She had existed in a black void of pain, the hurt overwhelming, the disillusionment soul-crushing. She had moved through the days following the debacle at Jake’s door like a shell-shocked victim. It had taken the phone call from their family doctor, telling her of her father’s heart attack, to snap her out of her trance.
Tears filled Beth’s eyes and trickled down her cheeks as she remembered the last day of her father’s life. His constant inquiries about Jake had been like a knife twisting in her heart. From the beginning, her father had approved of him, and had given his blessing wholeheartedly when they had told him of their plans to marry as soon as Jake graduated. She hadn’t had the heart to tell him that Jake had tossed her aside like a worn-out shoe. Nor had she been able to refuse when he pleaded with her to call Jake.
The memory of that call brought pain slashing through her, and with a small cry, Beth moved her head in negation against the back of the leather chair.
Taking a deep breath, she slowly opened her eyes. Her gaze lit on the framed photo of her husband, and her expression grew even more bleak. She picked it up and studied it, her forefinger tracing lovingly over the handsome face. Oh, Daniel. What am I going to do? It shouldn’t hurt anymore. But it does. It does.
Blinking back tears, Beth hugged the photo to her. Daniel. He had been her salvation all those years ago. Alone, grieving, and broken-hearted, she had been in the depths of despair when she started to work for Prescott. Inc, a scant few weeks after her father’s death. From the very beginning Daniel had made his interest known, but, sensitive to her obvious unhappiness, he had pursued her slowly, carefully. When he had finally coaxed the whole story out of her he had been understanding, sympathetic and warmly supportive and loving. He had made her feel cherished and wanted and needed, worthwhile once again, and gradually her pain had faded.
They were married a year after she had come to work for Prescott, Inc. Remembering the small furor that that had caused, Beth smiled. Wealthy, handsome and utterly charming, Daniel had been one of Houston’s most eligible bachelors, and a large nummber of the city’s female population had been irate when he forfeited that status. Inevitably, because of the difference in their ages, there had been some snide talk that she had married him for his money, but it wasn’t true. She had loved Daniel dearly. Not in the wild, intensely passionate way she had loved Jake, but with a warmth and depth that was totally satisfying.
And Beth knew in her heart, that if Daniel had lived, Jake’s reappearance would not have upset her so. He would have supported her, helped her to put the situation into perspective.
She placed the photo back on the desk and looked at it longingly. “So whay can’t I do that now?” she murmured. “What am I going to do, Daniel?
With a sigh, Beth leaned back in the chair and cupped her forehead in her hand, slowly massaging her temples with her thumb and fingertips. She knew what she was going to do. What she had to do. Jake Forrest was her past-he had no place in her present . . . or her future. She would be polite but distant, and when this business deal was concluded she would put him out of her mind, once again.
“Mr. Forrest! Mr. Forrest, you have several phone messages,” the desk clerk called after Jake as he stalked through the hotel lobby. “The man said it was urgent that he speak with you.”
Jake ignored him. By-passing the elevators, he climbed the four flights of stairs to his floor. When he entered his suite he made straight for the small but well-stocked bar in the corner. With an angry twist Jake broke the seal on a bottle of bourbon. He splashed some into a squat glass and tossed it down in one swallow, then refilled it. When that was gone, he picked up the bottle and headed for his bedroom.
Chapter Three
His shoulder was given a rough shake. “Wake up, Jake.”
