Summer's End, page 37
* * *
Since they had got to know a lot of the senior crew by now and were on friendly terms with most of them, she and Valerie sneaked backstage most nights to hear Kirsty and Dynamite perform.
Valerie had fallen hard for Johnny, and she told Lily she was going to do everything she could to keep the romance going when they finished on the ship. She had no job or ties waiting back in Liverpool for her and Johnny had suggested she join them on the road as the wardrobe girl, looking after their stage outfits.
Lily wished her good luck and told her to send her postcards from all the cities they played in. “And make sure all the bands sign the cards,” she told Valerie. “Because I’m sure their signatures will be worth a fortune one day!”
Each night Lily heard her cousin singing, she got a lump in her throat. She was so proud of her, and even more so since she had another long-playing record due out for Christmas. After next year, Kirsty had told her, she and Larry were going to have a break from the cruise ships and do some tour dates in Scotland and England to promote her new album. Lily said she hoped they would come to Newcastle and she would bring a whole coach load to the city to see them.
On the final night, Lily and Valerie stayed in the wings to hear Dynamite’s last performance. They had added a few new numbers to their list and the girls were enthralled listening to them. As she watched him, Lily thought how beautiful Bobby’s voice was, and as he sang “Yesterday”, she was sure he was even better than Paul McCartney.
They got a thunderous round of applause when they finished it, and then, continuing the theme, the band struck up another slow, mellow number. Lily thought she recognised the opening bars and stood with her brow furrowed, trying to guess what it was.
And then, Bobby’s pure, clear voice started singing, “Oh, my love, my darling, I’ve hungered for your touch . . .”
Lily caught her breath. She closed her eyes and suddenly she was back in her college room lying in Dara’s arms.
She tried with all her might to hold back the tears.
Chapter 52
When Lily stepped off the plane in Glasgow on a Saturday afternoon, the sun was shining, although it felt freezing compared to the temperatures they had left behind in Rome.
Seán collected her and Kirsty and Larry, and he chatted all the way back to Rowanhill, asking Lily lots of questions about the cruise ship and wanting to know about all the places she had seen.
When they arrived at the house, there was a crowd of her family all waiting to welcome her home. Everyone commented on her lovely tan and said how the sun had brought out the blonde tints in her hair.
She gave out her presents and showed them the brochures and pictures she had, and then everyone asked her all the same questions that Seán had, and she repeated all the same answers.
They all had tea and sandwiches and cakes, and then her brothers and their wives and children left in dribs and drabs until there was only Lily and her mother and father left.
“You certainly sound as though you saw a bit of the world,” her father said. “And fair play to you. You’ve seen an awful lot more than me and your mother did.”
“Ah, sure, I’m no good on planes,” her mother said in a resigned voice, “and I don’t suppose I’d be any better on one of those big fancy ships.”
“Did they have bingo on it?” her father asked, winking over at Lily. Mona loved the odd game in the church hall.
Lily grinned and shook her head. “The posh gamblers go to the casino.”
“Ah well,” Pat said, clapping a hand on his wife’s shoulders, “it’s horses for courses, and I don’t think me and your mother would fit in with a casino crowd. The bingo and the odd flutter on the horses suit us fine. Isn’t that right, Mona?”
Her mother looked up at her father and then they both laughed.
Lily caught the tender look and she remembered what Kirsty had said about them being happy in their own way, and she realised her cousin was right.
“Oh God,” her mother suddenly said, “I nearly forgot . . .” She got up from the sofa and went over to the mantelpiece. She lifted a long, thick airmail letter and handed it to Lily. “This came for you yesterday.”
Lily took it from her, and she knew without looking at it that it was from Dara.
There was a silence and then Pat Grace stood up. “Lily . . .” he said, his tone not quite as sure as normal. “I think I owe that young Irish lad an apology. Seán explained what really went on . . . and that none of the things Ava said about him were true.”
Her mother got up to stand beside him. “I think we all owe him an apology.”
She looked at the envelope in Lily’s hands. “I don’t know what we can do about it now . . .”
Lily shrugged. “I don’t know myself.”
“He’s a decent lad,” Pat said, looking at his wife. “And he’s from a decent family. I told you I knew his mother when we were young?”
Mona nodded. “Poor lad, losing her so early . . .”
Lily looked at them both and once again had the feeling they were much closer than she had ever understood.
Upstairs, in the privacy of her bedroom, she opened the letter, and as she slid the pages out her hands were shaking.
Chapter 53
Dear Lily,
Thanks for writing again. I received your letter from Spain this morning. It sounds like you’ve had a fantastic trip and I’m so glad it went well for you.
It was an amazing experience, and I envy you having seen cities like Rome and Pompeii. I suppose that’s the boring architect in me coming out!
Lily paused to take a good deep breath. Thank God he had replied, and thank God he hadn’t been horrible to her, because she knew it was what she deserved. She steadied her hands and read on:
I’ve had a fairly ordinary summer here – a typical wet Irish one – but thankfully, it has been productive enough.
Rose, unfortunately, didn’t get her place in the local hospital, but the good news is one of the teachers persuaded her to apply to some of the hospitals in London and Manchester. At first she wasn’t keen, but she gradually came around to the idea and has three interviews over there next week. If she gets a place, of course we’ll all miss her, but we think it will be good for her and she can always come home at the holidays and get a job here when she’s finished. My aunt in London has said she would be delighted to have her live with them if she gets one of the hospitals in that area.
Now I have all the small-talk over, I have to confess I felt very strange when I got your letter explaining the real reason as to why you distanced yourself from me in Scotland. I can only imagine how you felt when you found out our parents had been in love, after your father had made that terrible confession to you – and then you had to deal with accusations about me and that dreadful deranged girl. I’m still reeling about that news of your father and my mother – and, like you, I can’t believe that such a coincidence should have happened to us. I’m still trying to work it out in my mind, and it’s the last thing I expected you to tell me.
I felt the same shock as you did when I read it, and, after thinking about it, I understand how you were feeling before the situation with Ava blew up. I just wish you had told me at the time and we might have been able to make some sense of it together. I certainly would have told you. But then, I suppose it shows you weren’t as sure of our relationship as I was and that there was a basic lack of trust in me. I think that’s the most hurtful thing.
Lily’s hand came to her mouth, and tears filled her eyes. She went and got a hanky and had to wait a few minutes before she could start reading again.
Regarding Ava – when I got your first letter saying she had disappeared to England I felt a great sense of relief as I had been worried she might come back to Carraigvale and spread her vicious lies. For a while I just let it simmer, but it ate away at me, and I felt I had to do something. She had ruined the best thing in my life and I needed to understand more about it. I decided to pay a visit to the bed and breakfast and have a chat with Mrs Stewart. To say it was a revelation is an understatement.
Apparently the older man who we thought had been harassing her – O’Brien – had suffered at her hands as well. She’d been involved in a long-term affair with him since working in his hotel in Dublin – no surprise there, now we know what she’s like! When his wife became suspicious about another woman, they decided it would be better if it ended and Ava moved away, and that’s when he contacted Mrs Stewart to find her work. But of course it didn’t end there as we know.
Mrs Stewart knew nothing about the affair, and Ava of course was very good at hiding it, but eventually O’Brien said he thought it best to end it completely. He felt bad about Ava and gave her a thousand pounds, and initially she seemed fine. But, after a while, she contacted him again asking for more money and threatening to tell his wife and family about their affair. Apparently the hardest part was that his two teenage girls adored Ava, and his wife had been very fond of her too, and he just couldn’t face them finding out. It’s too long to go into all of it, but the upshot is the night he came to the bed and breakfast he gave her more money, and said if she didn’t leave him alone he had no option but to go to the Guards and tell all. And of course you know what happened after that. She had met your brothers by that time and thought she saw a better option. It’s good news that she’s since moved on, and I’m glad she went without telling everyone about Seán’s lack of judgement over her, especially since there’s another baby on the way.
All I can say about that night is that it was a complete nightmare for me and for your family. They had been so good and welcoming to me, and it must have been a shock when the seemingly perfect Ava made those horrendous accusations.
I could go on now and say I wish you’d trusted me and stood by me, but I know you’ve done your best to explain that. Enough said – it’s my problem now.
Lily, I must finish off now, as I’m up early. Apart from working in the cinema in the evenings, I’ve been working in an architect’s office up in Naas. It’s been good experience for me and it’s helped pass away a difficult summer.
I appreciate you writing to me and I know it must have been difficult.
I’ll finish by saying you will always have a special place in my heart and I will treasure the memories of the wonderful times we had in Newcastle and Edinburgh. I wish things could have been different.
If you ever find yourself in Carraigvale again, you will probably still find me in the cinema!
Love, Dara
Ten minutes later, Lily was still sitting there, frozen in her sadness. How could she have been so wrong? How could she have hurt him so badly? There were no answers. She could tell it was all too late.
Eventually she moved. She would go to her aunt’s and find Kirsty. Maybe if she talked to her and showed her the letter, she might somehow start coming to terms with the loss.
The loss of the best thing in her life.
Chapter 54
On a Friday morning a few weeks later, Lily stood by her bedroom window, taking a breather from her packing. She was going back to college on Sunday to start the final year of her teacher training course. And while she had enjoyed the time after the cruise with her family, she was ready to get back to her independent life.
She turned back to her wardrobe, and went to a shelf to lift the blue cashmere sweater she had bought from Ladies First. She smiled as she put it in the case. She had already received two postcards from Valerie, one from London and one from Birmingham – and both signed by all the members of Dynamite. Bobby had written a short line by his signature – See you in Newcastle in October! He had remembered her saying that she would bring a crowd of her college friends if he ever played there. She would surprise him by keeping her promise.
She heard the door going and then Seán shouted up the stairs to her.
She went to the door and called, “I’ll be down in a minute.” He probably needed her to look after the children again.
She put the lid down on her case, pleased she was nearly done, then she closed the wardrobe door on all the bright, summer dresses and tops she wouldn’t wear until the following year. It had been a long, boring job sorting out her autumn and winter clothes for the coming term. But in a way, she was glad to let go of the last reminders of the long, eventful summer.
She went down the stairs, trying to think if she had remembered everything she needed. She could hear Seán’s voice, chatting away, and the sound of the children laughing.
She opened the living-room door, and suddenly found herself rooted to the spot. There, sitting on the sofa, was Dara and his sister, Rose, and standing beside them were her mother and Seán.
Dara stood up. “Hi, Lily, I hope we haven’t given you too much of a shock, but Rose and I were up in Edinburgh, and I thought since we were that close we would call in on you.”
Lily looked at him, unable to speak.
He glanced anxiously at his sister. “She had an interview at one of the big hospitals there and there’s a good chance she’s going to be offered a place. They more or less confirmed it yesterday.”
Lily looked at Rose and when she saw the beaming smile on her face, she found herself able to move. “Oh, Rose,” she said, going over to give her a hug. “I’m delighted for you.”
Rose looked all embarrassed and pleased at the same time. “I’m delighted too. I loved Edinburgh, it’s absolutely fantastic. Dara had told me all about it, but it’s even nicer than he said.”
“Now, Rose,” Lily’s mother said, moving towards the kitchen. “You must be dying for a cup of tea.” She pointed at Seán. “I know that fella’s always looking for one. Come on in and tell me all about the hospital and everything.”
The three of them disappeared into the kitchen, closed the door and left Dara and Lily on their own.
Lily came to sit on the chair opposite him. “I don’t know what to say . . . I can’t believe you’ve come.”
He gave a wry little smile. “I can’t either. I nearly didn’t.”
They looked at each other in silence, and then huge tears filled Lily’s eyes.
“I’m so, so sorry,” she said.
He nodded his head slowly, saying nothing.
“I spoke to Kirsty,” she finally said. “And she thinks the thing about my father . . .” She swallowed hard. “She thinks it doesn’t matter, she thinks I made too much of it.”
He glanced away, looking towards the window. “I talked to my brothers and they said the same thing. Then I got the letter from Seán just the day before we came over.”
“From Seán?” Lily repeated. “Seán wrote to you?”
“Yes, and he gave me his phone number and asked me to ring him. I spoke to him yesterday morning. After he finished apologising again, we talked about the thing between my mother and your father, and he just said that it was twenty-odd years ago and what did it have to do with us? It made me feel better.” He looked back at her now. “What do you think now?”
“I feel the same now. I only wish I’d talked to you about it at the time . . .”
There was another silence, and then something told Lily that there might just be the tiniest chance . . . She moved towards him and when she saw the vulnerable look in his dark brown eyes, all the feelings she had ever had for him came rushing back.
“Oh, Dara,” she said, putting her arms around him. “I’ve made some terrible mistakes, but I’ve never stopped loving you – not for one minute!”
He waited for a few moments then he held her at arm’s length and looked directly into her eyes. “And I still love you.”
“What,” she asked, “will we do?”
“I think,” he told her, “it’s called, ‘start all over again’.”
She felt a moment of pure joy. “That would be wonderful. And I promise I’ll never, ever let you down again.”
There was just the smallest glimmer of humour in his eyes. “You better not.” He looked down at her bare hand. “Have you still got the ring I bought you in Edinburgh?”
She nodded. “It’s upstairs. I couldn’t wear it. Every time I looked at it I started to cry.”
“Well, I’d like you to start wearing it now, so that when you go back to college, you’ll be reminded of me every day.”
“I’ll wear the ring because I love it – not because I need a reminder. You’ve been with me every day since I last saw you.”
“And you’ve constantly been with me.” His hands tightened on hers. “Do you remember what I said about buying you a decent ring at the end of the summer? Well, I have the money all saved, but maybe we should give it time to see how things go.”
She lifted his hands and kissed them. “I promise that things will go exactly as they should. I’ll make sure it.” She looked up into his eyes. “When will I see you after this?”
“We go home tonight,” he told her. “We’re flying back from Edinburgh. Maybe I could come back to Newcastle in a few weeks’ time. What do you think?”
“I think that would be wonderful. The sooner the better.” She stopped, trying to take it all in. “And it’s such good news about Rose. She looks so relaxed – more confident somehow.”
“She is. And a lot of that is down to a good teacher who took a bit of time with her.” He smiled. “You see – you teachers really can make a difference.”
“I’m delighted for her, and I’m so pleased it might be Edinburgh.”
“So am I,” he said. “Because I’ve been looking at jobs over there for when I finish.”
“You’ve been looking at jobs in Edinburgh?”
“I know it’s all a bit early, but you have to think ahead.” He touched her face. “I’m sure you would like to come back to Scotland, and there’s a lot more work for me here than there is in Ireland. What do you think?”
Her eyes lit up. “I think it’s brilliant . . . And I think you’re very clever for coming up with it.”
