First Choice, Second Chance, page 5
She went to him then and let him wrap his arms around her. "I made my own choice, Daddy. Your opinion may have had something to do with it. But you know I always make up my own mind." At least she used to. Now, she didn't know what to think. Being called empty-headed, flighty, and stupid for more than six years would do that to you. Usually he had disguised it as a joke. It had only been in the last months she had realized what it really was. An attempt to keep her down, keep her under his control. She wasn't having it anymore.
"Lila, you're going to be going on soon," her mother said. "You don't want to mess up your hair or make-up."
She pulled back from her father. Things had been so strained for them after she had married Kyle. He had apparently seen the truth about her husband soon after that. It was the reason Kyle had insisted they didn't need to be down there anymore. He had taken over managing her career, money, and just about everything her parents had done before. He'd made it sound logical they weren't needed down there. Then she'd only had him. Which, she realized now, had been his plan all along. She hadn't had anywhere else to turn when things fell apart. She'd thought he was on her side. That had been her biggest mistake.
Tears brimmed again, and she blinked them back. Her mother was right. She needed to be ready to go out soon. If she cried, it would ruin her make-up. She couldn't let herself do that now. She needed to be in the right frame of mind for this. The members of the fair board were the only ones who hadn't canceled on her in the last months. She needed this. She couldn't live with her parents forever. Kyle had left her with precious little when he walked out. She wished she had paid more attention to something other than her music. Maybe she would have seen he'd funneled her, and their, money into his own account. This could have ended sooner, before she was ruined.
Okay, that wasn't helping her any. "I need some time alone," she told her parents. "I need to be able to get into the zone."
They stepped out, and she took a deep breath to center herself. She hadn't been able to bring the RV she usually toured in. Kyle technically owned it. Her parents had bought a small motor home, so she would have somewhere to change at the fairgrounds for the concert. She tried to tell them not to worry. They'd assured her they'd find someone to sell it to when they were done with it. Maybe they'd keep it to go camping. She couldn't see that one, but the thought helped to push out some of the damaging ones. Then, her mind drifted to Mason and the memory of the night they'd spent in the back of his truck, more than seven years ago.
She had to fight to catch her breath. Memories of him had never been too far away, even when she'd been with his brother. Stop, she ordered herself. This wasn't going to help. She couldn't forget the pain in his eyes when she went to his house. The way he'd barely held onto control. She couldn't blame him for hating her. What she'd done to him was wrong. All because she had been scared, afraid her father was right. If she stayed in this small town, she would hate him. She would think he held her back. If he did as he said he would, and gone with her to Nashville, how would he feel about her? Probably the same.
She had to take another deep breath. Then, she decided to stop fighting it. Performing had become almost robotic for her. It wore her down. Maybe she could use all these feelings for her show, put more emotion back into her music. It had been missing for too long. This would be her last show, anyway.
#
Mason didn't know what he was doing here. He'd mostly avoided the fairs the last several years, and Lila would perform tonight. Why did he torture himself like this? Because no matter what he told anyone else, or even himself, he wasn't over her. He wasn't sure he would ever get over her. He wasn't nearly as strong as he made himself out to be.
He wasn't going to the concert. He'd made that vow to himself when he climbed into his truck and started over here. He'd be able to hear her without having to see her. It wouldn't be different from hearing her on the radio. He knew that was bullshit as soon as the thought crossed his mind. It was so incredibly different. He needed something to cling to, though.
He could hear them doing the sound check out on the stage, Lila belting out bits of songs as they made sure the sound settings were good for everything. It twisted his stomach into knots. He couldn't do this. If not for the money he'd paid to get in to the fair tonight, he'd turn around and walk right back out to his truck. He might do that, anyway, he thought as she sang a few lines from one of her ballads. His hand clenched into a fist as the words flowed over him. Then, they cut off again, like everything else had with her.
He couldn't be here. He didn't care about the wasted money. He would certainly lose his sanity if he stayed. He didn't know why he ever thought he could do it. He'd go home and wait to even venture into town until she left. He'd turned back toward the gate when someone called his name. He turned his head as Brian walked toward him. He couldn't help the smile. The two of them hadn't been great friends in school, but since that summer after graduation they'd grown close.
He turned fully around. "Hey, Brian. Where's the family?"
"Alyssa wanted to see the ponies. Ashley's walking through the barns with her. How are you doing, man? Haven't seen you around much lately."
It was true. The farm kept him busy, especially since his father's accident. They employed a couple of kids from the high school, but the farm couldn't support more workers. He did most of the work himself, one reason they'd sold off about half of their cows, and to help pay his father's medical bills. "Summer. It's busy for us." It's all he would say. He wouldn't burden anyone else.
"How's your dad?" Brian asked, walking forward. Mason fell into step with him.
"He has his days. Summer's not so bad. His pain gets worse when it's cold. Not that he'll admit it."
That brought a grin out of his friend. "Your old man always was stubborn."
"Yeah, he was. He is." That's the reason the doctors gave for why he even survived the accident. Or he had a guardian angel looking after him.
They walked in silence for a moment then Brian asked, "Have you seen her?"
Mason's stomach twisted around itself. He didn't need him to clarify who he asked about. "Ran into her at the bar the other night. She came to see me the next day."
"You okay?"
"Fine." Not even close. "I made it clear there was nothing between us anymore. She's my brother's wife, for God's sake." His hands shook as he said the words, so he shoved them in his pockets. He hoped Brian hadn't noticed.
There was precious little the other man didn't notice. One reason he was the youngest member of the town's small law firm. Why he had been snatched up as soon as he passed the bar, over a year ago. Already he was making a name for himself. "They're divorced, man. You can go after her if you want."
Mason shook his head. "I don't want. She chose him over me seven years ago. I can't forget that." It made his heart ache to remember it. "She'll be leaving again. What's the point?"
"What if she were to stay?"
"It wouldn't matter. I can't be her second choice. I can't, Brian."
"All right, man. What are you doing here tonight? I imagine you aren't going to the concert."
Mason shook his head. "I don't think it would be smart to torture myself, but I couldn't stay away. Maybe I'm not so smart."
Brian squeezed his shoulder. "You'll be all right. I see Ashley and Alyssa up there. I better catch up to them. I'll see you around, okay?"
"Yeah, Brian, go be with your family," he said as they announced Lila on the stage. She was the opening act tonight. His mouth went dry as her voice rose over the applause. "I'm going to get something to eat then head back home. I never should have come here."
Chapter 7
Chapter 5
Lila rubbed her hands on the sides of her skirt as she stood at the front of the classroom. She wasn't sure what was wrong with her. She could stand in front of a crowd of people and sing. There were some nerves involved, too, but she always got over it when she started singing. Even though fighting those nerves drained her by the end of a show. Still, what did she have to be nervous about here? Two dozen five and six year olds shouldn't have her feeling like this. She had never taught anyone before. Singing and performing was a different thing than trying to teach someone to do it. She didn't know why the school's board thought she could. Probably, if her mother didn't know one of the board members, she wouldn't have been offered the opportunity.
She never would have gotten this job at the public school. She didn't have four years of college or any of the other certification she would need to teach. The nine years she had been singing and performing professionally, the recording contracts, and everything that went with it, didn't count for much there. It wasn't the school's fault. They had specific guidelines they had to follow for hiring. The private Christian schools weren't under such constrictive regulations. They were even willing to pay for her to eventually get that certification.
She needed to make sure she left them with a good impression. Otherwise she could be out on her butt with nothing to show for it. She couldn't let her mother down or the people who had been willing to give her this chance.
Right now she would only work with the younger elementary kids. No one older than ten. There was a side job included, too. A program on the weekends, teaching teenagers to play an instrument and to sing. Something meant to keep them out of trouble. Not that there was too much to get into around here. Then there was the part she looked forward to the most: singing with the preschool kids once a week. She had to get through her first couple days with the regular school kids first.
She needed to be getting things in order now. All the kids were talking, a couple chased each other around in the back of the room, and two others played swords with some drum sticks. She couldn't let this go on. She cleared her throat, but it only got the attention of a couple girls sitting near the front of the room. "Excuse me." A couple more heads turned her way. She spoke a little louder this time, but it had little effect. She started to feel desperate and didn't want her bosses to think she'd failed on her first day.
She had brought her guitar in with her, but hadn't planned to take it out yet. Today was only going to be about going over the basics. What tone, rhythm, and melody meant. Other musical terms. Maybe even introduce them to an overview of each of the instruments. No actual music yet. Now, her plans changed.
She opened the guitar case and lifted it out. Holding it against her body, she strummed her thumb over the strings. This got the attention of a few more kids. Except for the two still fighting with drum sticks. She moved her fingers over the strings some more, adding her voice to it now.
Good morning, good morning.
Eyes up here.
It's your only warning.
We haven't a moment to spare.
It wasn't the best song she'd ever written, but for a spur of the moment thing, it wasn't too bad. It got the kids' attention, anyway. In a minute, everyone sat in their seats with their attention on her. "There. That's better," she said, placing the guitar back into its case. "My name is Ms. Corelli, and I'll be your music teacher this year." She'd gone back to her maiden name even before the divorce had been finalized. After everything Kyle had done to her, she couldn't stand to see his name attached to hers another day.
"I see each of you has a name tag. I thought we could go around and learn a little about each of us. I'll start." She looked around the room and realized, now that they were all sitting and quiet, there were far less than two dozen kids. Hardly more than a dozen. If all the class sizes were like this, it shouldn't be difficult at all. "I was born right here in Kurztown. When I was sixteen, I moved down to Nashville." At her statement, several hands went up. She smiled at the kids. "A couple questions, then I want to move on to know something more about you."
It turned into more than a couple, but she finally got them to move on to each telling something about themselves. She recognized some of the last names. Some similar to those she had gone to school with. She started to realize who the parents were, able to see something of old peers in the kids.
The class ended before she knew it. It was the only one she had. She had a different grade each day of the week and the preschoolers on Fridays. She spent the rest of the morning going over her plan for the week. It was almost lunchtime when she heard the knock on the door. She looked up and almost laughed. "Ashley Kalish. Do you teach here, too?"
Her old friend nodded. "Art. I hoped to see you before school started. I guess you've been busy."
Busy avoiding Mason, anyway, since that failed visit to his house and with the concert. The first one she'd performed since she found out what Kyle had done. It had been nerve-wracking and had taken her two days to recover from it. That's what performing had become for her, something to recover from. Maybe this disaster was actually a blessing in disguise. She'd needed to step away from it, but Kyle had convinced her it would be a mistake if she let her name be forgotten. Only one of the things she never should have listened to him about.
"What have you been up to, Ashley? I'm so sorry I lost touch. I let too many people slip away from me."
"Well, it's not Ashley Kalish anymore. I got married almost five years ago."
"Really? I hadn't heard. To who?"
"Brian."
"Brian Sharrock? Really? I guess you two figured out your…stuff." She'd almost forgotten they were in a Christian school. "I wasn't sure he'd ever settle down."
She grinned. "He's surprised a lot of people. Did you know he's a lawyer?"
"He did go then? I know he thought about staying here after that summer. It would have been stupid to pass up that opportunity." She paused for a moment. "Although it's still hard to see the Brian who used to throw parties every weekend as a lawyer."
"Like I said, he surprised a lot of people. I think I'm the only one who knew it's what he wanted. Well, and you apparently. He was going to skip law school when we got married. I told him I'd divorce him right then if he even tried. He's a great lawyer."
Lila laughed. "We really need to catch up. I'm sure you don't have time right now."
Ashley shook her head. "No, I'm on my planning period now. I should actually be eating lunch while my kids are. Why don't we get dinner tonight? Brian can keep Alyssa for a couple hours."
"Alyssa?"
"Our daughter. You'll meet her on Friday. She's in your preschool class."
"A daughter? You have a daughter. How come I never heard this?"
"I guess your mother isn't too great with the gossip, but I'll show you pictures at dinner tonight. I really should get going. See you."
Lila gave a little wave in return, but she was shaken right down to her toes. Her best friend had a daughter, and she hadn't even known. Her mother would have told her. If Kyle hadn't essentially cut off contact with everyone up here. She'd only spoken to her parents about once a month. Then for only about ten minutes before he dragged her off to some meeting or dinner with producers. She hadn't seen it for what it really was until everything had fallen apart. He kept her isolated. Thank God her parents had still been there when she dragged herself away from the collapse of everything.
She let out a breath and gathered her things together. She'd told her mother she'd be back for lunch. She should get going before she started worrying about her.
#
Lila couldn't believe how much she was enjoying herself. It had been so long since she'd gone out with someone who was just a friend. Not a producer, or an agent, or a fellow performer. Usually Kyle had been the one to arrange those dinners. And they were always more about business. Going out with a friend was different. Ashley didn't think of her as Lila Corelli, the country singer. She was just Lila, an old friend. It felt good.
"What else have you been doing?" Ashley asked her. "I mean I know you probably didn't have much time with everything else. Did you have any hobbies down there? What about your friends?"
The questions brought unbidden tears to her eyes. She wasn't going to cry. No, not on her first real night out in town. She'd been humiliated enough by Kyle. She didn't need to do it to herself, too. She shook her head. "No, I didn't really have time for hobbies." Kyle had made sure of that. There was always something else for her to go to, even when she wasn't on the road. She'd finally realized it was his way to keep her from seeing what, or who, he'd been doing on the side. "I realize I didn't really have any real friends, either. They all dropped me as soon as the label did. As soon as they heard his lies."
Ashley reached across the table and put her hand over Lila's. "I saw what the papers said. I'd imagine almost everyone in town has. You know there are few around here who will believe it."
"I'm not sure what I'd rather have them believe. That I really was a bad girl in a good girl's skin, or I was so deceived by someone like Kyle. Both are humiliating. Now, my career's over."
"Don't say that, Lila. I'm sure you can go back to it. Other stars have had bad press, and it's forgotten the next time someone else's name is splashed across the tabloids."
Lila shook her head. "You don't understand. It's not just the tabloids. He spread lies to producers, to the venues. No one wants me. He's essentially ruined any chances of me performing again any time soon. I don't know if I could even handle going back on the stage. It was never easy for me before. I don't think I have the confidence to do it now."
"I've never known you to not have confidence, and I've known you a long time."
"Getting on stage, especially the bigger ones, scared me to death. It was easier that summer I was home. When I knew Mason was out there. When I had his support." She dropped her head into her hands. "God. Why was I so stupid?"
When Ashley didn't respond after a minute, she looked back up and realized her friend's attention had focused past her. "What? What is it?" A stone weighed heavy in her stomach.
"He's here. With his parents."
