Bad to the Throne, page 35
part #15 of The Good Guys Series
“You, my good duke,” Valamir said sharply, “are more focused on the other issue with the cult, that of stopping what it is they are doing as opposed to dismantling the cult itself. Ideally, there will be little in the way of the death or killing for you–”
“I mean, too late on that account. Clyde and already had to do a bit of blood wading this morning.”
“Yes, well. That is, I suppose, regrettable–”
“Nah. They started it.”
“You’re a strange man,” Clyde said.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“If it please all the nobles here,” Matthew said, “I would rather get to work on this project than continue chatting in the water.”
“The captain of the one of my companies, Aristeo, waits outside,” Valamir said. “There is a carriage to transport you where you wish to go. I would imagine Clyde has a few starting points.”
“I do,” Clyde said. “But I also think Matthew already knows at least half of them.”
“The targets the kobolds watch?”
“Exactly.”
“I can start with that. And I will need a place to set up shop that is far from our families. I will not have them–”
“There are many buildings I own that can be at your disposal. Tell me a neighborhood, and I will facilitate a command facility for you. Whatever you need, you will have it.”
“A legion or two to go house to house and root out the cultists?”
“Whatever you need that does not require mobilizing the entirety of the Imperial Bureaucracy.”
“We’ll let you know,” Clyde said, patting Matthew on the shoulder.
“What about the recruiter?” I asked.
“The lady you met in the park–”
“Yeah, Leora.”
“What about her?”
“Did you track her?”
“Track? I followed her, yeah. She’s not a local, obviously. She’s staying at a place near the Kronth embassy in the Imperial District.”
“She did speak Kronth.”
“I know. I heard.”
“You heard?”
“I did. Had some listening devices placed around the park–”
“You can do that–”
“Can we do this later?” Matthew snapped, already wading towards the edge of the pool. “Any longer in here and I’m going to begin my transformation into a Vuligelhm.”
“Agreed, there is much that needs doing,” Valamir said. “If Clyde has pertinent information on this woman, he can get it to you. How he gathered the information is not as material as other issues. I am doing what I can to get eyes in the Kronthian embassy, as there certainly seem to be a number of fingers pointing at Kronth being the origin of this problem.”
“I definitely think it came from Kronth,” Clyde said. “But I also think that it had a path long before that.”
“I mean, sure,” I said. “Leora seems very old, and knew a ton of languages from places I’ve never heard of. Which, you know, doesn’t mean that much because I’d say I’ve neglected geology the most since I came here.”
“Geography.”
“Shit, my bad. Geology is rocks. But the princess is still betrothed to the ruler of Kronth, and—”
“Clyde,” Matthew said, “I am heading for the door.”
“Jeez, I’m coming,” Clyde said, and he simply vanished from the bath. He reappeared across the room near his towel, scooped it up and then somehow teleported across the room, beating Matthew to the door.
“How’d you do that?” I asked.
“Trade secret,” Clyde said, holding the door open for his friend.
I looked back at the bath, then over at the towels, then out the door.
“I thought teleportation was basically impossible,” I said. “Right?”
“I know so little about magic,” Valamir said, “it might as well be geology for you.”
“Geography.”
“Either.”
“Did his highness just make a joke?”
“I would never,” he replied, casually leaving the bath. “But on a last serious note, I do have your cooperation on this, yes?”
“Yeah, we’re still allies. For now. And as long as you can show me that we’re not the bad guys here, that we’re not just out to murder anyone you paint as being on the wrong side of things…”
“I have rarely been so confident about a group being evil as I am about this cult.”
“Which we still don’t even have a name for.”
“I would imagine they will reveal all to you when you are initiated, no?”
“I mean, I guess. Isn’t Clyde also going through the selection process?”
“He has more than just himself going through, as his face is known to a number of the cultists. But you are in the position to learn more of the truth. And therefore, will likely be the one who can do the most damage.”
“For the greater good, though, right?”
“Right.”
87
For a brief moment, as I stood in the sunshine of the day, I felt a sense of satisfaction. Of relief. I had nothing to do.
Well, not exactly. It was more accurate to say I could make a decision, by myself, as to what I wanted to do.
I was the master of my own domain.
Mostly.
Of all the things I could do in Glaton, I didn’t really want to do any of them. It was incredibly tempting to take a stroll across the bridge and see about things in the forest on the other side of the river. Sure, it was known as the forest of death or something, but at least there wouldn’t be a ton of people there. A bit of nature.
Instead, I went home.
Or to Valamir’s house.
I planned to get a change of clothes, grab a carriage, and see about finding a spot near the water where I could drop a line in and, you know, fish.
But because it was Vuldranni, and just my lot in life, that did not happen.
As soon as my carriage came through Valamir’s gate — because I couldn’t just get dropped off outside and mosey my way into the house — someone was there waiting for me. A young man wearing the livery of the Imperial family, specifically, the crest I’d come to know as belonging to the princess.
I sighed and got out of the carriage.
“Your grace,” one of Valamir’s valet’s said, rushing up to me. “A messenger is here for you.”
“I can see that,” I replied, looking at the messenger who was looking at me. “Has he been here long?”
“Not that long.”
“Do you need to see me right away?” I called over the valet.
“I was told to return with either you or a response, your grace,” the messenger said.
“Am I being summoned?”
“Your grace, I beg pardon. Her royal highness has extended to you an invitation to tea, if you would.”
“Tea?”
“Yes, your grace.”
“Now?”
“Her highness did not specify as to the immediacy of the tea, but I do believe she intended for you to visit with all due haste.”
“That’s a bit vague, isn’t it?”
“I wouldn’t know, your grace.”
“What if I didn’t show up here?”
“I was instructed to wait for you.”
“And then go back with me?”
“Or bring your refusal to come to her highness directly.”
“Is that how she phrased it?”
“Yes, your grace.”
“My refusal, huh? How often do people refuse tea with her highness?”
“I have not worked with her long, your grace, but you would be the first one.”
“Ah. So, probably not the best idea.”
“It is not my place to make judgements on that.”
“Of course.”
“Am I to come alone?”
“She did not specify one way or the other, your grace.”
“I don’t suppose you know what she’s wearing?”
“No, your grace.”
“Can I ask a minor judgement call?”
“You can ask, your grace, but I might beg pardon if I cannot answer.”
“Would you think it weird if I showed up looking like this?” I asked, spreading my arms out so he could see my somewhat ratty clothes. “I had a rough night and couldn’t get home before the Senate meeting. I was thinking, maybe it would be a good idea for me to change before doing anything particularly, um, I was going to say extra curricular, but I guess social is better.”
“I am sure her highness would be willing to accept you no matter how you dressed.”
“But?”
“But I have never seen anyone meet with her highness without looking as if they have worked very hard to be at their best.”
“Random messenger dude, you have a fantastic ability to make things difficult to understand and yet still simple. I’m going to change. I’m sorry to make you wait longer.”
“It is my pleasure to wait.”
“I think we both know that’s not true, messenger man. I’ll be as quick as I can.”
I went inside.
88
Walking down the hall to my oversized room, I heard the unmistakable sound of combat. I reached into my bag of holding and brought out my sword.
I didn’t pause; I did not pass go; I did not collect two hundred dollars. I went straight through the door, sending the busted piece of wood exploding inward and then out through the window. Which also broke, raining shards of glass, chunks of wood, and an impressive spray of splinters onto the grounds below where some poor bastard screamed in surprise, followed quickly by a “I just raked that area, you stupid goblins!”
All activity in my room had stopped at my entrance, forming something of a strange tableau of six goblins engaged in close combat in a series of positions around the room, while one kitsune girl sat in a chair with a notepad on her lap.
A moderate blizzard of feathers drifted around, some being pulled out of the room by the new air flow from the open window and door. My blankets were in tatters, and someone had set one of the curtains on fire, as well as put it out some time in the very recent past. Also, it looked as if at least two of the goblins had broke down some of the furniture in the room in order to arm themselves.
“What the fuck is going on?” I asked.
“Training,” Amber replied. “Appleworm, you are too aggressive, which that means you leave your team open to attack.”
Appleworm frowned and looked where he was. Then he pointed at the goblins I figured to be on his team and whacked one of them with his table leg.
“Lazy,” Appleworm snapped in a guttural Common.
“Maybe,” Amber said, “but you have to learn to work together, or you’ll die. And if you die pointlessly, what happens?”
“No Coggeshalla,” the goblins said as a group, sounding sad.
“Are you fucking kid–” I managed to get out before a group of Valamir’s guards burst around me, swords and shields out, ready for a fight.
They paused and looked around.
Then they looked at me.
I smiled.
“My bad,” I said. “Kinda did the same thing as y’all. Also we might need a new door here.”
“Yes, your grace,” one of the guards said, slowly putting away his weapon to give me a more formal greeting.
“Also a window,” Amber said, reading something on her notepad and not bothering to look up. She did manage to point over her shoulder with the back of her pencil.
“Yeah, that’d probably be good to fix before, um, it rains.”
The guard glanced at the sunny day happening under the unblemished blue sky.
“Of course, your grace,” he said, and the four guards withdrew. I’m sure, if they’d been able to shut the door, they’d be having a conversation about the weird-fucking duke ruining their lord’s home.
“Why are there more of them?” I asked. “And they speak common now?”
“Start over,” Amber said to the goblins while patting an open seat next to her.
I sat.
The goblins split into two teams and then went to either end of the room.
“Go,” Amber said.
The goblins charged, and proceeded to beat the tar out of each other.
While they were engaged in combat, Amber leaned over to talk to me, but kept her eyes on her pupils.
“The sixth one showed up in the middle of the night,” Amber said. “No idea where he came from, or how. Just, now there are more goblins. The others haven’t said where the new one came from either — they’ve just accepted the new addition. And I wouldn’t say they speak common. They understand a fair amount and have a few words they can say. Appleworm is the best at it. He’s spending a lot of time around Philippe when he can, and I think it’s rubbing off on him.”
“And this is your training regimen?”
“It is with six of them. Corinne got tired of us being in the gardens–”
“Corinne?”
“The head gardener. She’s not keen on goblins in general, and started to blame anything odd that happened on us. And while she was probably right most of the time, I know for sure we were not the ones who set the tree on fire.”
“A tree got set on fire?”
“Yup.”
“Which one?”
“Oh, a little one on the far side of the orangerarium. I think it’s something to do with the way the sun was going through a prism there. But I also think the bigger issue there is that the tree’d been dead so long it was dry enough to go up in flames. What are you doing back here?”
“Getting changed.”
“Another party?”
“I’m sure there is one. Are you coming tonight?”
“I would really rather not.”
“You want to have tea with the princess?”
“The princess of what?”
“The Empire.”
“No.”
“I have to go–”
“Doesn’t mean I need to go.”
“I know, but you could.”
“I could also not. Really easily.”
“It might be fun.”
“It will not. And before you mention something about free food, I already have free food here. And I don’t have to dress up and get leered at here.”
“Goblins don’t leer at you?”
“They did once.”
“And then?”
“And they learned why it wasn’t a good idea.”
“I approve.”
“I’m so glad. I’m still not going to tea. Ask Eliza.”
“I don’t want to go with her.”
She snapped her face over to look at me. “You want to go with me?”
“I’d prefer it, yeah.”
She stared at me for a second, and I could almost see her mind trying to work through something.
“It wouldn’t be a good idea for me to go,” she finally said. “I know you’re just being nice by inviting me, and—”
“I’m not just being nice,” I said.
“—I think you probably need to focus on the princess here. If I went, it would just make things more complicated.”
“Nonsense.”
“My presence tends to do that. Especially when other women are involved.”
“I don’t think that’d happen in this case, but,” I said, and put my hand out to keep her from interrupting me, “I get that you aren’t particularly comfortable with the idea of going. So maybe it would be better for you to stay here with the goblins, make sure they don’t burn the house down.”
“I agree. And thank you.”
She put her hand on my leg and gave it a squeeze.
I smiled at her, but inside, I felt a little weird. Had she thought my invitation was nothing but a date?
“I do need to, um, find something to wear to the palace–”
“Madame Thorne left you a few extra outfits. She assumed you’ll just going to go through an outfit a night.”
“Where did she leave them?”
“It wasn’t as if they were left so much as were delivered this morning.”
“Awesome. Where?”
“Your drawing room.”
“I have a drawing room?”
“Yes, there,” she said, pointing to a door on the other end of the room.
“Okay, um, I guess I’m heading there. And then going to the fucking palace.”
“I’m sure Regina will appreciate you visiting her at her fucking palace.”
89
By the time I made it back to Valamir’s entry, the messenger had gotten a carriage ready to take me over to the palace. He didn’t ride in the back with me, despite my invitation. Instead he rode shotgun with the driver. Which meant I had to be alone in the back, staring out at the passing city. Something I seemed to do a lot.
“Your appearance is more befitting your station, your grace,” the princess said as a way of greeting, after keeping me waiting for half an hour in her tea room.
“Thanks,” I said. “Your highness,” I added quickly, realizing the others in the room were less than keen on me being so informal with the princess of the Empire.
Her tea room was more akin to a solarium, I suppose. The small table could seat maybe four people, something in the realm of a cafe table, except more posh. Given the hue, I felt like it was probably made out of silver. A young man who was impeccably dressed in the princess’s colors served the tea. He had a small cart with a teapot and various cakes and other treats.
The room felt even smaller thanks to the eight guards standing at each of the points of the octagonal, somewhat circular structure. There were also quite a few plants in there, and a gardener had come in and tidied them all up prior to the princess’ arrival.
Maelith had checked on me to make sure I had everything I needed while I waited for the princess. Apparently it was a busy afternoon so she was doing a lot of work and had many, many meetings to get to. Maelith assured me that the princess considered our visit of the utmost importance, hence why she was trying to get some other meetings out of the way first — to make sure she could give me her undivided attention.
“So, you wanted to have tea. Was it just for the pleasure of my company, your highness?” I asked.
