Bad to the Throne, page 20
part #15 of The Good Guys Series
“Except the High Prince. Doesn’t he live elsewhere?”
“I believe he does, yes.”
“That’s kind of odd. Do you know why?”
“No,” she said, smiling at me again. “I have little insight into the actions of the royal family beyond her highness.”
One of the guards said something softly, and I had trouble picking out the words.
Smashing! You’ve learned a new language, Classical Kronthian.
Made sense why.
What didn’t make sense, however, was why the guard was speaking Kronthian. Why were Kronthian guards allowed inside the Glatonese Imperial palace? Seemed a mite bit like something of a conflict of interest, being that we were, nominally, still at war with Kronth.
“Yes,” Maelith replied, also in Classical Kronthian, “I imagine he will eat should the food be available.”
“Regular or special?” the guard asked.
“Both.”
“At once.”
The talking guard slipped out of the room, and nearly at the same moment, a different guard slipped in. If I hadn’t been paying close attention to what was happening in the reflection of the window, it was entirely possible I’d have missed it. The guards looked similar enough — probably so that they could pull shit like that.
I pretended not to notice, acting as if I was enthralled with the events transpiring out the window. Which wasn’t hard — a gardener was being attacked by a goose. Fair play though, since the gardener was giving back as much as the gander was dishing out. It was kind of even money on who was going to come through as the victor. Though in my view, the pond seemed like the goose’s territory and the gardener shouldn’t have been walking through with a rake pulling out all the really tasty muck.
“I am having some refreshments brought,” Maelith said to me, “just in case you feel peckish.”
“Very thoughtful of you.”
“Her highness would be most unhappy with me,” she said, running a finger down my arm, “if her guests felt even the slightest want and I was unable to satisfy it.”
I felt goosebumps shoot up and down my arms, almost as if my body was at war with itself. I don’t think I was imagining that what she was laying down wasn’t exactly appropriate behavior.
“Well,” I said, steeling my nerves to say only what it was I wanted to say and nothing more, “if I come up with anything I want, I’ll be sure to let you know.”
The gardener got in a good wallop on the goose, but he missed that a second goose was coming up from behind.
I winced as the gardener got slammed by a goose wing, and then fell under the water.
“What are you smiling at so?” Maelith asked.
I glanced over at her. She was looking directly at me, smiling at me, almost like she was doing one of those I’m happy you’re happy things.
“Geese and a gardener,” I said. “I feel a little bad laughing at it; I hope he’s okay.”
The gardener was now running from the pond. Well, waddling, being that his waders were full of water. One of the geese chased him while the other went back into hiding in the reeds and cattails.
“I can send a medic,” Maelith said. “If you are concerned.”
“Sure. Looks like the man could use backup.”
She nodded, and I heard her mutter something to a guard. Once again, I noticed the guard slip out of the room and a new guard slip into his spot, so there were always two armed men in the room with me and Maelith.
A few minutes later, two burly guards holding big shields and clubs entered the garden. The burly guards interposed themselves between the goose and the gardener, and the gardener retrieved his rake and then continued pulling the muck and whatnot out of the pond. It wasn’t anywhere near as entertaining to watch, though.
But I also didn’t really want to talk to Maelith, so I just stood at the window, watching the clouds roll on.
She seemed to pick up on that, and so she went and sat down on a couch, just on the edge, ready to jump up if necessary.
Food came, as well as a selection of wines and ales, and I was offered all the refreshments I could want. Which wasn’t much, since I’d just had way too much food. So none of it seemed appetizing, especially because I didn’t know which food was ‘special,’ or what ‘special’ meant.
We remained in that awkward tableau where I didn’t trust myself to talk to Maelith and she waited for me to do something, until there was a polite knock at the door.
The guards opened it, and a small old woman walked in, followed by two young men carrying heavy carpet bags filled to bursting with something. Though what that something was, was not immediately apparent.
“Thank you for coming so quickly, Madame Thorne,” Maelith said, getting to her feet.
“That is who I am dressing?” the old woman, apparently Madame Thorne, said, pushing right past Maelith to stand in front of me.
“Sadly so,” I said. “Sorry.”
“Sorry? Why?”
“I’m probably too big for whatever you have.”
“Lies. I have plenty of big clothes for big people. Dressed an ogre once, and he was the belle of the ball. At least until he got hungry and then it was a bit of a problem, but until then, perfection. And I like a challenge. Only thing that gives me XP any longer, young man. Get closer to the couch.”
“The couch?” I asked.
Her assistants set down their bags and then helped the little old woman stand on the couch.
“Need to measure you, don’t I?” Madame Thorne snapped. “You think I can do it all by eye?”
“I mean, if you wanted to get more XP...”
She scowled at me.
“Fine,” she barked. “Turn around.”
I turned around.
“Bend over.”
I bent over.
“Kiss your own ass.”
“Not quite flexible enough for that.”
“Then get over here and let me measure you.”
I liked this woman.
I went over and got measured.
Madame Thorne knew her stuff and worked her magic. She managed to take me from looking like I was ready to wrestle trolls in the mud, as I usually did, all the way to where it seemed within the realm of possibility that I could be an escort to a princess.
Sure, it didn’t feel great. My pants were much tighter than I was used to, and I didn’t enjoy having to wear tights under the pants. The shoes were so slippery that I figured my ability to maintain my footing, art of movement, was working overtime so I didn’t just face-plant on the carpet.
And yet, the deep blue complimented my hair well. One of her assistants even brushed out my hair and what beard I had, making both look in the ballpark of delicate and presentable. She even managed to convince me to put a flower behind one ear, a blue flower called Æðilblár. A flower that only grew in the high alpine regions above the treeline in the mountains just to the north. Something that was special to the original Glaton and was, according to Madame Thorne at least, the source of the Glaton family colors.
She gave me a pinch on the cheek and a slap on the ass, and sent me on my way.
57
Maelith escorted me back through the palace to a carriage house. I got into a carriage with Maelith and we drove around to the front of the palace. The princess came out, surrounded by people, and got into the carriage.
She looked nice, in a gown of blue and white that matched nicely with my own.
“Nice to see you again, Regina. Erm, your highness. You look lovely,” I said as I helped her sit down across from me.
“Thank you,” she said, keeping eye contact with me even as she curtsied a little, which, being in the carriage, was actually an impressive display of flexibility.
I, for one, could barely even move in there.
“Thank you for agreeing to be my escort this evening,” she said.
“Of course. It’s been a long time since we’ve had the chance to chat.”
“I had hoped to speak with you before long. However, it would seem you were not available. Sent on some errand by my uncle, I believe.”
“Something along those lines, yeah.”
“What was it?”
“The errand?”
“Yes.”
“Help in a border skirmish.”
“With Marhduhm.”
“That’s the one.”
“And you were able to secure a victory?”
“I was, yeah.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thank you?”
“And I hear you were successful in defending yourself against the slanderous idea you were not a duke.”
“Not sure I’d call the idea slanderous — just a kid who got dragged in over his head.”
“I would not characterize the Lord Edgemond as such. He is no child.”
“Younger than you, isn’t he?”
Regina glanced at Maelith.
“Of a similar age,” Maelith said.
“Well, do you consider me a child?” the princess asked, turning her piercing gaze back on me. She seemed way more intense than she’d ever been in Coggeshall.
“No, just young.”
“We are of a similar age as well, are we not?”
“I think?”
“You are unsure of your age?”
“I mean, kind of. I had a strange childhood without a lot of focus on birthdays and the like.”
“How sad.”
“It was…” I just trailed off, not sure how deep I wanted to get about the childhood I didn’t have here. I’d been much older than her in the old world, but in the new world, I appeared to be somewhere in my early twenties, which was hurting my brain in terms of trying to figure out how to act and relate to people.
“How fares Coggeshall?” the princess asked, seeming to pick up on my desire to change the conversation.
“Good. Really good. I think you’d be impressed at what we’ve accomplished so far.”
“It was an enjoyable place.”
“You left a bit suddenly.”
“I did.”
“Mind if I ask why?”
“You may ask me anything, your grace, but please understand if I choose not to answer.”
“Fair enough.”
“Are you going to ask?”
“I figure you’ll tell me if you want. I know you had your reasons, and it clearly seemed to work out. Now you’re here and you’ve got a whole group of people with you and–”
“What group of people?” she asked, interrupting sharply.
“What?”
“What group of people are with me?”
“Um, I mean, Maelith? Your guards from Kronth? Right?”
Maelith put her hand on the princess’s knee.
“He means that you have a staff to support you,” Maelith said.
“Exactly,” I added.
“Oh. Yes.”
But clearly she thought I meant the cult.
“When I was at Coggeshall,” she said, “I was surrounded by those who sought to control me, or exploit me. It took leaving to find those who were willing to work with me.”
“Then good for you,” I said.
“Thank you.”
“And now you’re here to become Emperor.”
“Gods willing, yes. I would take up the mantle my father meant for me.”
I smiled, swallowing the words I wanted to say about how that was diametrically opposed to the girl she’d been in our private chat on the Coggeshall wall.
“Might I count on your votes?” she asked.
“I’m open to that idea,” I said. “Just kind of need to make sure I take care of Coggeshall.”
“And what would you seek from the throne to take care of Coggeshall?”
“Not really that sure yet — I just know that’s what I should be doing. Kind of a generational opportunity, so I have to grab it.”
“Are you considering offering your head for the crown?”
“Me? Are you kidding?”
“There is no shortage of individuals in our history who have answered the Call and then taken the throne. I believe, if I remember my education thusly, that the Ironsides who host us tonight owe their house’s rise to Tormund the Good answering the Call of the Imperial Hero.”
“Huh, didn’t know that. But that’s not for me. If I’m honest, I don’t really do well ruling over people. I barely know how to handle myself, let alone others. I’d probably take a way out of being a duke if I could.”
“And what way out might that be?”
“Not sure,” I said, wondering if there was a way to twist this conversation in some way to get her talking about the cult. And yet, with Maelith riding next to the princess, I had my doubts I’d be able to get her to actually open up about anything. “But, you know, no need for me to go about trying to get more power when I really want less.”
The princess nodded.
“Were I to gain the crown, I could certainly arrange that,” she said.
“Yeah, maybe that’d be worth it. Just, you know, have to worry about all the other people who live there.”
“Indeed. I would imagine their lives weigh heavy upon you, given the dangers of our world.”
“They do.”
There was a pause, and I’d have sworn there was a silent conversation happening between Maelith and Regina, if that was even possible.
“Do you ever think, perhaps, the world is not meant to be this way?” the princess asked suddenly.
“I mean, it’s the only world I’ve ever known,” I lied. “How might it be different?”
“Well, perhaps it has been corrupted and made evil due to our own actions.”
“Without us, it might be paradise?”
“Some believe it thus.”
“Do you?”
“I am open to that idea. Are you?”
“I hadn’t considered it, but I guess?”
“What if I were able to provide proof?”
“Then I guess I’d be an idiot not to believe.”
“Would you seek to redress the ills we brought upon the world?”
“I think I’d do whatever it takes to make the world a better place. Wouldn’t you?”
“I do,” she said, leaning back and smiling. “Whatever it would take.”
I noticed that Maelith was smiling as well, and though she was gorgeous, her smile was predatory. It felt, well, not scary, but unpleasant.
58
The Ironsides had a mansion (naturally), on an estate (of course), that was huge and manicured and beautiful. Fancy carriages lined the streets outside the place, although we managed to skip all of that, being that we were in an Imperial Carriage. It would be unseemly for us to wait.
I half expected paparazzi to be waiting at the entrance, ready with flashbulbs to blind us as we made our way inside.
There weren’t. Instead, there were valets and handmaidens ready to help us inside. It was a flurry of activity as every carriage disgorged its occupants. We rolled up, cut in line, and the princess and her social secretary exited first, immediately engaging in a lot of smiling and glad handling.
Then I came out.
There might have been a few gasps of surprise, but these were all professional party goers and it probably took a lot more to surprise them than a done-up fuck-up like me.
When we went inside, I was struck by the odd fusion of utility and luxury, like someone knew this place was going to primarily house parties, not people. It wasn’t very homelike at all. It felt more like going to a ridiculously posh club. A full-on coat check station was just off the foyer, with people working the closet and the desk. And it wasn’t like they’d cleared out an office or something to make it possible to have a full on coat-check — it was purpose-built. Also, since this was Vuldranni, there was a spot where you could check in your weapon, or have a nice young man tie a special knot over your sword to make it all but impossible to unsheathe your blade while inside.
The foyer led into a wide open space with tables of food along one wall. Behind them were doors that only servants used to bring fresh food in one way and take plates and waste out the other. Through the buffet room was the ballroom, which, like Tollendahl’s, was huge. Like a high school gym big enough room for two basketball games to happen simultaneously. Also like Tollendahl’s, there was an upper level where those who did not wish to dance could sit and pass judgement on those foolish enough to engage in the tomfoolery below.
Now, where the stairs were leading to any part of the house that was, well, a home — no idea. Well-hidden, I suppose.
My date and I, which sounded a bit weird to say, didn’t spend much time together. We went in through the foyer, then into the sitting/eating room, and then to the ballroom. And while I was, nominally, the escort, I supposed it made sense that she just yanked me along, taking me exactly where she wanted to go with nary a care to my desires.
Once in the ballroom, I somehow found myself standing with Maelith while Regina seemed to float away, talking to someone else.
“What exactly does an escort do at a ball?” I asked.
“What you have done,” Maelith replied, leaning close to make sure I heard her over the din of the ball.
“This is it?”
“As far as her highness is concerned, yes. I am sure you realize that there was no romantic intent here, as her highness is betrothed, so—”
“She is? I mean, yeah, I got the no romance thing, I just, um, the betrothed bit is news to me. So, um, congratulations to her. I just want to make sure that I’m not, you know, her arm candy for the night.”
“Just for the entrance. She will be quite busy tonight, as she will need to speak to many people. She asked me if I could, perhaps, find out if you’d be interested in learning more about helping bring good to the world with her…”
Two things immediately popped to mind. I’d been with Maelith and the princess the entire time, and at no point had they spoken about anything where I was not part of the conversation. Hell, I couldn’t remember a bit of talk where I wasn’t the subject of the conversation. So how the hell did Maelith know that’s what the princess wanted? And two, this was probably Regina’s attempt to recruit me to the cult.
