The Queen's Choice, page 3
King Jonathan didn’t turn one bit when Maria reached the altar and stood beside him. Not even a glance. His resentment seemed to radiate from him like the heat of his body that she felt standing so close to him. He still smelled faintly of the stables and horses, she felt, although that could simply be her imagination.
When the archbishop asked if he wanted to marry her, he answered “I do” through clenched teeth, managing to make it sound even shorter than the two words actually were.
It was clear from his tone of voice that he would do anything to get out of the situation. A shiver ran down Maria’s spine. What lengths would a desperate man go to in order to get rid of a wife that had been forced upon him?
***
The grand hall had been decorated; candles were lit all over and music was playing. Even before Jonathan entered, he could smell the roasted pigs. Lord Helmholdt had to be so proud of all that they had done for him, Jonathan thought ironically.
He was leading his new bride by the hand up to the long table on a podium at the back of the hall. Her small hand was cold, like her insides had to be, Jonathan thought bitterly. He couldn’t imagine that the woman he had met in the stables was actually Lord Helmholdt’s sister. He must have gotten the completely wrong impression of her when they first met.
And then Lord Helmholdt had put her in that ridiculous golden dress. It was clear that he was only trying to flaunt his wealth, but the problem was that the dress fitted so perfectly that it enhanced all of the right places on his new bride’s body. Jonathan had had to turn away from her in church to not stare openly at the curve of her breasts. Neither God nor the archbishop could approve of his ogling a woman’s breasts when getting married, despite the fact that they were the breasts of his soon-to-be wife.
Jonathan tried to imagine how he had pictured Maria looking with a club foot and missing teeth. It calmed his nerves a little. He still believed that that was Lord Helmholdt’s real sister, not this woman walking next to him.
They were seated next to each other at the long table. Lord Helmholdt was sitting on Maria’s other side. Thank God Jonathan didn’t have to talk to him. Lord Helmholdt seemed to be enjoying himself already, speaking loudly to people that he knew at the tables below him.
Valdemar was seated on Jonathan’s other side. Jonathan was thankful that he was there.
“I’m not sure how long I can do this,” Jonathan whispered.
“You cannot leave. This is all about pleasing Lord Helmholdt, right?” Valdemar whispered back.
Jonathan nodded.
“You just have to suck it up then. Drink some more.” Valdemar said the last part out loud and poured more wine into Jonathan’s glass. Jonathan emptied it in a single swallow and glanced at Maria sitting next to him. He was already thinking of her as Maria and not Lady Maria anymore. What was wrong with him?
The lady in question didn’t seem to be eating. Jonathan poured himself more wine. He knew that both the food and wine had been checked by his cupbearer and Lord Helmholdt seemed to be eating it as well. It couldn’t be that it had been poisoned.
Damn, his new wife wasn’t eating, and his first thought was that she might know that the food had been poisoned. How was he supposed to get through this marriage? He was going to have to avoid her completely as soon as possible. Between his wanting her body and his anxiety over what schemes Lord Helmholdt had put her up to, he would be ready for the madhouse in no time, if he spent too much time in her company.
He should never have married her. Valdemar had said the same thing, but back then Jonathan had just wanted the truce signed. He wanted Gustaf’s recognition that he, Jonathan, was the rightful king. But now... being tied to a woman that despised him, who was even rooting for her brother to kill him... He should have put his foot down.
Jonathan thought briefly about the consummation ceremony later and quickly emptied another glass of wine. Something stirred low in his belly at the thought of her naked in a bed. He shook his head to rid his mind of the image, but it seemed stuck. In his imagination she was even smiling tantalizingly...
There was no way he was sleeping with her. He needed that annulment. Even if by some miracle it turned out that she in fact didn’t want him dead, he couldn’t remain married to her. Everyone knew that she was barren, and he needed a wife that could give him a son.
Jonathan emptied another glass and then got up. Suddenly the entire room was in motion. His leaving his seat was a sign that everyone else could and that dinner was over. Servants started to drag the heavy tables to the sides of the room to make room for dancing - even though many were still eating. Jonathan felt bad and was about to sit down again; then realized that he didn’t want to look confused in front of Lord Helmholdt.
After a moment Valdemar jumped up and led Anna onto the dance floor. Other couples followed. Anna’s honey-colored hair was hanging freely tonight, flowing after her as she danced. She smiled at Valdemar, a smile that lit up her entire heart-shaped face.
She was probably one of the most beautiful women that Jonathan knew. She could even have been his wife, had he wanted her to. Her father had wanted her to marry Jonathan, but he had refused since he knew that she and Valdemar were in love.
Jonathan wasn’t sorry that he had convinced Anna’s father to let her marry Valdemar instead, but now he couldn’t help thinking that it would be easier if he was married to her. She was one of the only women that he knew really well and was able to talk with properly. The bedding ceremony would have been unpleasant, though: Anna felt like a sister to him.
Jonathan walked over to a group of younger noblemen who were observing the dancing couples.
“Aren’t you going to dance with your new wife, Your Majesty?” one of them asked, grinning.
Jonathan looked at Maria, who was still sitting at the long table. She was watching the twirling couples. She was completely motionless except for her right foot that was tapping the beat of the music. She probably wasn’t even aware of it.
Jonathan shook his head at the question. He felt no desire to dance with her. Sure, his body wanted to be close to her, but his mind told him that it would be a very bad idea. Besides he knew that it would probably annoy Lord Helmholdt if he didn’t dance with Maria.
Chapter 6
A servant had shown Maria to her room and for a moment she sat on the bed. She was alone for the first time that day. She took a deep breath. It wasn’t like she was a virgin. She had done this before and it would probably be over fast. She couldn’t imagine that King Jonathan would want the consummation to last longer than necessary.
A herd of ladies in colorful dresses poured in through the open door and filled the room. They were to be her ladies-in-waiting and presented themselves one by one. Among them was the duchess of Halland, Anna Harold, the wife of the king’s brother Valdemar. Maria had seen them dance earlier.
The tall, dark-haired man and the woman with golden hair and sparkling green eyes had looked both elegant and like they were having fun at the same time. It was clear that they were in love. Maria had long ago admitted to herself that there was something wrong with her, since she felt envious of other people falling in love – instead of feeling glad for them.
Maria smiled at Anna Harold and paid her a compliment on her dark green dress. She knew that Anna was one of Jonathan’s closest friends, but something about her smile and clear laugh had given Maria a positive impression of the young woman.
The ladies began loosening the laces of Maria’s dress and gently helped her out of it. Anna took it and for a moment held it up to admire it.
“Wow,” she said. “This must be the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen.”
She held the dress in front of herself for a moment, then handed it to a servant and looked apologetically at Maria. Maria felt that she should probably be angry at Anna’s familiarity, but she couldn’t help but smile and admire the youth and spirit that Anna had.
Even though Anna couldn’t be more than four or five years younger than her, she was more youthful than Maria had ever been. Probably the result of being married at 15, Maria thought. It was an unconventional choice for Anna’s father not to have married her off before, but then again, he had hoped that King Jonathan would marry her eventually.
Maria moved her shoulders back and forth in the loose shift. It felt nice to finally be rid of the heavy dress. The women had started on her hair now while they were chatting around her. She couldn’t help casting a look at the bed, thinking of what would soon happen in it.
“Would you like some wine, Your Majesty?” someone then asked. For a moment Maria didn’t react, then realized that the person was talking to her. She looked up into Anna's smiling face. She leaned forward and whispered into Maria’s ear: “It might help with the nerves.”
Maria nodded and smiled gratefully at her. Anna nodded to the servant who disappeared for a moment and then reentered with wine and glasses. Maria was offered a glass that she emptied in a few sips.
She hastily had the servant pour her another drink when she heard the men in the hallway. She quickly drank it, before she saw the noblemen of the court enter her room, among them Jonathan. The women quickly helped Maria get under the covers.
Jonathan swayed a little but didn’t otherwise seem visibly drunk. The men helped undress him so that he was only wearing his shirt and pants. Then he got under the covers next to Maria. The archbishop blessed the wedding bed, and everyone left.
They lay beside each other without saying a word. Maria was staring at the canopy without a clue how she could break the silence. She could have slept with the man that she had met in the stables this afternoon if he had flirted with her and shown her some attention. The man she had met at the altar, who had been ignoring her ever since, she wouldn’t be able to sleep with.
She didn’t dare turn her head, afraid that the movement might cause him to throw himself at her. Then she heard a slight snoring. She looked to the side only to see Jonathan fast asleep. She sighed with relief. He definitely didn’t seem to care about consummating the marriage either.
No one would have to know if they didn’t. She wasn’t a virgin, thus there would be no proof whether they had slept together or not.
She remained next to King Jonathan for a while but wasn’t able to sleep next to him. The heat from his body filled the bed in a way that felt way too intimate for a person she didn’t know.
Slowly as to not disturb his sleep, Maria climbed out of bed, grabbed her cape, sat down in one of the chairs and put her legs up on another. It was uncomfortable, and the cape wasn’t thick enough to keep her warm when she was only in her shift—but finally, after what felt like several hours, she fell asleep. She woke up briefly when someone tucked a blanket around her, then fell asleep again.
Chapter 7
Maria sat up and stretched her arms and neck. The night in the chair hadn’t done anything good for her. She couldn’t help but yawn. She felt the ladies in the room watching her whenever she was looking in the opposite direction or at her needlework. They had a way of glancing at her without Maria being able to catch them staring.
She had woken up when grey morning light was streaming through the window. King Jonathan was gone. She still wondered about the blanket that had been tucked around her. Had he done that? Or had a servant looked in on her? She had climbed out of the chairs and straight into bed, where she had slept for a couple more hours.
She couldn’t tell what the ladies were thinking. Did they think that she had been up all night because of King Jonathan? It was an absurd idea. Everyone had to know how he had treated her last night. To think that they would spend the entire night making love afterwards...
A blush crept over Maria’s cheeks at the thought of making passionate love all night. She looked down at her needlework, hoping that none of the other women in the room would notice. She had entertained thoughts of that sort when she had met him in the stables...
But the King Jonathan that had been at the wedding seemed to be a completely different person than the one who was interested in horses and talked freely with her.
The ladies were talking quietly, working with different kinds of handicrafts. She was half-listening to the women talking, but not participating or paying attention.
Gustaf would leave later today, and she was both glad and felt empty that he would leave her here all alone. Maria thought of the task that he had given her. The faster she could get the information that he needed the better. Although neither he nor she knew exactly when the amount of information would be enough.
A servant entered the room and asked Maria to follow him. The king wanted to speak to her. Maria could see some of the women exchanging looks, but quickly turned her head and followed the servant.
King Jonathan's rooms were on the same hallway as her own. He hadn’t given her the chambers that the queen usually occupied, and Maria could only see it as an insult to Gustaf and herself. She was led to a common room with chairs and a desk. Through an open door she could see another room with a large bed in it.
She turned her gaze to King Jonathan’s rigid figure. He was standing at the window with his back to her. He turned halfway and gestured to the servant to leave the room. The man bowed and closed the door behind him. King Jonathan turned towards the window again.
Maria remained standing, unsure if she should sit down.
***
“I wanted to talk about last night,” Jonathan began and turned towards her again. She was wearing a scarlet dress that went well with the color of her eyes and hair. The latter hadn’t been covered traditionally with a scarf as most married women, but was tucked beneath a net of pearls that made it possible to see the hair as well.
For a moment Jonathan completely lost his train of thought. There was something intriguing about the white pearls and her dark hair. Or was it her brown eyes filled mostly with concern, but also a hint of curiosity? He cleared his throat and remembered why he had summoned her.
He didn’t all feel proud of what had happened the night before. Sure, he hadn’t wanted to sleep with her, but still he didn’t want it known that he had just fallen asleep drunk. It had seemed the best option last night: to drink so much that he was sure that he would be unable to perform, even if he tried to.
He had to make sure that it wasn’t common knowledge, though.
Maria didn’t say anything. The silence between them grew. Jonathan knew that he had to say something; he just didn’t know how to start.
“Since you have been married before...” he began again.
“We don’t have to talk any more about it,” Maria said quickly. “No one has to know what happened or didn't happen last night.”
Jonathan turned towards the window again to hide his relieved smile. At least it was possible to reason with her, but it was probably due to the fact that she didn’t have a wish to consummate the marriage either.
“I am glad that we both have fond memories of our wedding night then,” he said and smiled at her. “I hope that you will make sure to let your brother know as well?”
Maria nodded.
“Of course,” she said.
Jonathan nodded again.
“Good, we are done then,” he looked at her again briefly.
She looked visibly relieved and even smiled a little. Her shoulders seemed to lower a bit and he remembered how cramped up and shivering she had been, when he had awoken and found her sitting in the two chairs. He hadn’t wished to wake her, when he snuck out of her room, but couldn’t help covering her with a blanket before he left.
Maria nodded again and turned towards the door.
Jonathan stared at the closed door for a moment. Perhaps this wouldn’t be so difficult. She seemed reasonable enough, and as long as he didn’t see her, he should be able to keep his desire in check.
***
Gustaf seemed to be hung over from the day before. Maria noticed he had one hand leaned against the carriage that was waiting for him, that would take him away and leave her all alone among strangers.
“Sorry I was so... that I wasn’t paying attention to you yesterday; it’s just this place, these people,” he said and ran a hand over his face. “I... I can’t take it.”
Maria nodded. She had seen how many of the noblemen and women looked at him. How Jonathan looked at him. She had never seen anyone look so hateful. The sooner she could help Gustaf resolve this, the sooner he would be able to go back to his old self.
“Give my regards to Margaret and the children,” she said with a lump in her throat, thinking of her sister-in-law and the five children. She would especially miss Jacob. He was both smart and fun and she had spent as much time with him and his sisters as Margaret had, and even more so than Gustaf.
“I’ll make sure to greet them,” Gustaf said and reached for her hand. It was uncommon for them to touch, and Maria was surprised by this physical way of showing affection. He looked at her hand as he said: “I’m really truly grateful that you are doing this for me, Maria. Helping me this way.”
“Of course,” she said and tried to make eye contact with him, but he kept looking at her hand. “You are my brother.”
She felt a pang of guilt that she didn’t tell him what had happened—or rather, not happened on the wedding night. She didn’t want him to interfere though. Not right now at least. She knew that it would be important for him that the marriage was consummated and thus legally binding, but it was important for her that she didn’t have to sleep with a man that she didn’t like.
Suddenly Gustaf reached for her and hugged her tightly. Maria was so surprised by the hug that she didn’t return it at first.
“Oh, Maria, I’m so sorry that I have to leave you here in this awful place,” he said. Then he let go of her as fast as he had hugged her.
Maria said nothing but just looked at him, surprised.
