The Queen's Choice, page 18
Jonathan opened his eyes and looked confused at Peter. Why was Peter hiding under his mother’s table alongside him? Then everything rushed back, and Jonathan remembered where he was: in a quickly-built bivouac in the middle of a cold, damp winter forest. Without Maria, who was miles away and who he could never forgive, but also never forget, it seemed.
“Your Majesty,” Peter said again as Jonathan joined him and a few others at a small fire a moment later. “We have just heard that the queen and Anna Harold have been taken hostage by Lord Helmholdt.”
Jonathan looked at him, confused. He seemed to have difficulty waking up. Maria was on the island. Far away, but still too close, it seemed.
“Hostage?” He finally asked. “Are you sure that she is not there voluntarily?”
Peter shrugged.
“I can’t say,” he said. “We’ve heard that she has been taken hostage and that Lord Helmholdt is demanding a rather large ransom for her.”
Jonathan snorted.
“Only Lord Helmholdt would try a move like that,” he said. “And maybe my wife... It can only be a ruse to lure me out of hiding.”
“Indeed, Your Majesty,” Peter said. “What do you want us to do?”
Jonathan thought about it. He didn’t like the fact that Anna was there. He should not have let her go to the island with Maria. He had wanted her to remain at Haraldsborg, but Anna had insisted that she should go. She wanted to personally keep an eye on Maria.
“Has he demanded a ransom for the duchess as well?” he asked.
Peter looked at Lord Rosenkranz, who was evidently the one that had told Peter. Rosenkranz was in charge of Jonathan’s scouts and interrogations of enemy scouts. He was doing a remarkable job at it.
“I don’t know, Your Majesty,” Lord Rosenkranz said.
“Find out how much the ransom is for the duchess,” he said to Lord Rosenkranz. Turning to Peter, he continued: “And you’ll find out whether we can pay it. I don’t want my sister in the hands of that bastard one more minute than she has to be.”
Peter nodded, but no one else said anything.
“And the queen?” Peter finally prodded.
“We won’t do anything. We need to focus our energy on gathering our army and defeating Lord Helmholdt once and for all. I’m sure that the queen is doing well at her brother’s estate.”
Jonathan could see how Peter’s jaws clenched. He didn’t care to examine the expression on the faces of the other men.
“Your Majesty,” Peter ground out. “Might I have a word with you in private?”
Jonathan sighed but got up and walked away from the bonfire.
“You can’t treat her like this,” Peter said as soon as they were out of earshot from the others.
“I can, and I will,” Jonathan simply said and crossed his arms. He really didn’t want to discuss this with Peter. He knew that Peter cared more for Maria than he did for him, but in this instance, he felt that Peter’s love was blinding him.
“You have no way of knowing whether she is there voluntarily,” Peter hissed, in a tone of voice Jonathan had never heard him use before. It made him look at Peter’s face. He had never seen the man this furious before.
“Peter, even if she is not there voluntarily, Lord Helmholdt won’t do anything to her. He is her brother. She just showed him that she is loyal to him, not to me,” Jonathan said in a voice that he felt was remarkably patient, despite the fact that Peter was meddling in something that was clearly none of his business.
Peter crossed his arms too and leaned back on his feet. Being two inches taller than Jonathan he was looking slightly down at him. It annoyed Jonathan immensely. He wished they could sit back down and be more eye to eye, but there was nowhere to sit.
“I think you are oversimplifying things, because you are angry with her,” Peter said in a calm voice.
“I bloody well have every right to be angry with her. She killed my brother!” Jonathan shouted.
From the corner of his eye, he caught a motion at the bonfire and looked back in time to see Lord Rosenkranz, his commander-in-chief and the other men positioned there looking at him. Their heads snapped back just a second after.
“No, she didn’t kill your brother. Gustaf had him killed. She warned Gustaf to look out for him, and I understand your anger over that, but she didn’t kill him, and she didn’t wish him to die,” Peter was talking slowly and clearly.
Jonathan clenched his jaw and his fists. Even his shoulders felt tense with the rage that he tried to keep in. There was no way that he could answer Peter right now.
“You know this, Jonathan,” Peter added after a moment.
Jonathan turned his back to him, trying to hide the pain on his face. Somewhere deep down he knew that Maria had never intended for Valdemar to die, but he couldn’t simply let go of his anger. Every time she could choose between him and her brother, she chose her brother.
“What do you want me to do?” he said and could hear the helplessness in his voice.
“Tell Rosenkranz to figure out whether she is there voluntarily. That has to be our first move. It might also be a good strategy to prolong negotiations with Lord Helmholdt as long as possible.”
Jonathan nodded.
“Fine, will you tell him? I need a minute.”
Peter agreed. For a moment one of his hands rested on Jonathan’s shoulder. Then he was gone.
Chapter 34
Maria stared at the wall and followed the lines of a flower on the painted tapestry. She had loved that tapestry when she had had the room. She remembered how she and Margaret had spent hours looking through tapestry to choose the best to decorate the house with. It was only a couple of years ago, but it seemed like an eternity.
She curled into a ball on the bed when she felt her stomach hurt and felt sick too. She should probably eat something. She hadn’t eaten much since they had been brought to Gustaf’s estate a couple of days ago. She turned around and sat up slowly.
Anna was lying with her back to her on the other bed.
“Is there more food?” Maria asked. Someone had brought a tray a couple of hours ago, but Maria had been half asleep and in no mood for eating. Anna didn’t answer.
Maria got up and looked at the table where a tray with cold porridge, a couple of pieces of bread and thin ale was placed. She took a piece of the bread and chewed a small bite off it. She walked to the window. She had seen this view a thousand times before, but she had never expected to see it as a prisoner.
When she had finished the first piece of bread, she quickly went on to eat the other piece. The food seemed to dampen the nausea. She ate the cold porridge too and finished with the ale and went back to bed.
She lay on her back staring into the ceiling. What were they to do? Surely, they had to do something. She hadn’t even seen Gustaf since she had been brought here. She had demanded, spoken reason to and finally pleaded with the servants that brought them food and emptied their chamber pots. But with no luck. They didn’t even respond when Maria talked to them. Anna hadn’t said a word.
Anna had been sick the first few days they were here. A fever due to their time in the cold water. Maria had had a cold, but nothing more severe. They had been lucky, both of them. The sailors on the ship had acted promptly once they had gotten them on board. It had been less than pleasant having unfamiliar men strip the clothes off their bodies, but they had clearly known what they were doing and how to get them warm again.
The nausea couldn’t be from the illness. Neither she nor Anna had been sick for days. Maria could feel the food stir in her stomach. She should not have eaten all of it. She felt sick again. She took a deep breath to try and fight it but could suddenly feel how the food was rushing up her throat, a burning sensation following it. She managed to move her head to the side of the bed before she threw up on the floor.
She looked over at Anna who had turned in her bed and looked at her.
“I shouldn’t have eaten the food,” Maria said and sighed.
Anna got up and took a blanket from her bed to put over the vomit. She came over to Maria’s bed and sat down on the side as Maria lay back down. She rested her hand on her forehand and closed her eyes. It seemed to have helped with the nausea that she had vomited.
She was surprised when she felt Anna lean over her and thought for a moment that she was going to hug her. Maria reached up her arm, but then Anna whispered in her ear:
“Maria, when did you last bleed?”
Maria put her hand on Anna’s shoulder so that it wasn’t just hanging midair. She opened her eyes and looked at Anna. She hadn’t kept count of the days in her period since the first years of her first marriage.
“I don’t know,” she said.
“You didn’t on the island, did you?” Anna said.
Maria shook her head. She thought about it. It was before she went to visit Jonathan at the camp, definitely. Had she bled since Christmas? She couldn’t remember. She had been so preoccupied with her feelings for Jonathan, she hadn’t thought about it.
She had definitely bled once after they had married. She remembered having to ask her chamber maid for cloths. But that had been before she and Jonathan had gone to see Peter. Before the two of them had started to...
Her mouth opened in shock. The wise woman had been right. She might very well have conceived the very first time that she and Jonathan had been together.
She grabbed Anna’s hand.
“It can’t be true,” she whispered and immediately felt the urge to place her hand on her stomach.
Anna nodded solemnly.
“I think it is,” she whispered back with a little smile on her lips.
***
“Gustaf can never know about the baby,” Maria whispered. They were sitting at the windowsill, which was the furthest away from the door they could get.
“But he wouldn’t kill you? Would he?” Anna whispered. “He is your brother.”
Maria shook her head.
“Maybe by blood, but not by heart. Not anymore, not since he killed Valdemar.” She paused for a second, searching Anna’s face, but there was no sign of grief right now. Just a determined look. “I still don’t think that he would kill me. He needs us to lure Jonathan out of hiding. But I’m not sure about the baby. I think he would definitely try to get rid of it,” she continued their conversation in a whisper.
“We have to prevent it,” Anna said. “We have to get away before anyone notices.”
Maria nodded. She reached out for Anna’s hand and was glad when Anna didn’t withdraw it. She squeezed it gently. It was such a relief that Anna wasn’t ignoring her anymore.
“I’m so sorry for what happened to Valdemar,” Maria said.
“For what you did to Valdemar,” Anna said coldly, but she did still not withdraw her hand.
“For what I did to Valdemar,” Maria said and looked down. “I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me...”
“Probably not,” Anna said. Her voice was fragile and shaking. “But I can’t stay mad at you anymore.”
She continued in a whisper: “We need to work together now. This child, Jonathan’s son, Valdemar’s nephew, it’s more important than my anger.”
Maria bowed her head. She would have to live with that. She almost jumped off the windowsill when she heard the key turn in the lock. Anna held on to her to get her to remain in the windowsill.
A servant entered to take the tray of food they had been brought hours earlier. Maria saw how her eyes widened slightly when she saw the soiled blanket in Anna’s chamber pot.
“I felt sick,” Anna said shortly.
The servant still didn’t say anything, but simply took the chamber pot and the empty tray and left the room.
It was clear however that the servant had said something to someone, because later that day Margaret showed up with the wise woman from the village. Maria sat up in bed, both happy and sad to see the wise woman. She wanted to tell her that it had worked. That at least she hadn’t worked so hard on Maria to no avail. But of course, she couldn’t. Not right in front of Margaret.
Maria tried to keep her thoughts away from the stain of blood on the back of the wise woman’s dress. It could still happen to her, she had to remind herself. It was still early. She had tried to calculate it. If she had conceived the first time she had been with Jonathan, she was about three months pregnant.
“Margaret,” Maria began pleadingly. It was the first time since she arrived that she had seen her sister-in-law. “Margaret, you have to listen to me. You won’t benefit from keeping me here. Jonathan hates me after I sent that letter to you...”
Margaret didn’t answer but turned her head towards Anna in such an abrupt manner that Maria gave up saying any more to her.
“Undress,” Margaret told Anna. Anna looked at her stubbornly.
“No,” she said firmly.
She was sitting on her own bed. Maria wanted to reach for her, but it was too far.
“I will get a couple of servants in here and have them undress you, if you refuse,” Margaret said coldly.
Anna grumbled and slowly rose from the bed. She had the wise woman untie the dress in the back and remove it. She was standing in nothing but her shift.
“That too,” Margaret said. Maria looked at her with astonishment. She had never experienced Margaret so cold and distant. But then again, she had never been her prisoner before.
Anna pulled her shift over her head and placed it on the bed. She was still wearing her stockings, but nothing more than that. The wise woman stepped up to her.
“I’m sorry, my lady,” she said. “My hands are cold.”
She rubbed them together before she gently placed them on Anna’s breasts and squeezed them. Then she examined the lower part of her stomach by gently pressing her fingers against it in different places.
“When did you last bleed?” she asked Anna.
“A couple of weeks ago,” Anna answered. There was something sad in her eyes. Maria realized that she might have hoped that she at least was carrying Valdemar’s child.
“Oh, don’t mind that,” Margaret said. “They could be lying their teeth off as far as we know. We need physical proof whether she is pregnant or not.”
The wise woman turned towards to Margaret.
“She’s not,” she said.
Margaret nodded satisfied as Anna quickly put on her shift.
“Now, you,” she said and nodded towards Maria.
“What?” Maria asked surprised. “Margaret, you know that I can’t bear a child. There is no reason...”
“I want to be sure,” Margaret cut her off.
Maria got up slowly. There would be no point in refusing. It would only seem odd.
The wise woman had helped Anna tie her dress in the back. Now she walked over to Maria and helped her untie hers. Maria removed it and placed it on the bed. The she pulled her shift over her head and placed it on top of her dress. She didn’t even dare glance down her own body afraid that it would already be revealing the child inside of her. But how could it? She hadn’t even realized until an hour ago.
Maria shivered when the wise woman put her hands on her breasts.
“Sorry, my lady,” the wise woman said with a smile. “For some reason, my hands are always cold. Not the best with the trade I have.”
She squeezed Maria’s breasts gently. It hurt just a bit when she squeezed them, Maria concentrated not to let any emotion show on her face. The wise woman went on to examine her stomach. Maria felt that she took longer with her stomach than with Anna’s. Maria held her breath and glanced at Anna, who also seemed to have temporarily stopped breathing.
Then she felt the same sensation she had done months ago when the wise woman had helped her. Something that was blossoming or growing from the icy hands. Could it be the baby reacting to the cold hands?
The wise woman turned to Margaret and shook her head.
“I don’t think she is pregnant either,” she said.
Maria almost sighed with relief, but was able to contain it, until Margaret and the wise woman had left the room.
Chapter 35
Maria looked at the moat three stories beneath her window. She had no idea how deep the moat was. Because of the muddy water it seemed bottomless, but it couldn’t be.
“It’s too far to jump, isn’t it?” she asked Anna, who was sitting next to her on the windowsill.
Anna nodded.
“And I can’t swim,” she added.
“Me neither,” Maria said. “Do you think that it is so deep that we can’t reach the bottom?”
“What would be the purpose of it otherwise?” Anna replied. “And if it is shallow enough for us to reach the bottom then we definitely wouldn’t make it, if we jumped.”
“How about binding our blankets together and climbing down?” Maria asked, still looking at the moat beneath here.
“Good idea, except that we still have to get across the moat...”
She had to get out of here. She had to protect her child from Gustaf. Her and Jonathan’s child. Even if he would never love her again, he would be happy to know that she was pregnant.
Maria looked at Anna. No matter what, she was truly happy that she and Anna were friends again. She had no idea how she was going to get through this alone.
“The only way out is the door,” Anna whispered. “What if we attack the servant who brings us food?”
Maria thought about it.
“I’d feel better if we could escape at night, and besides, my chamber is close to the family’s chambers. There must be a lot of people in the hallway all the time.”
“Can we get them to open the door in any other way?”
They thought about it in silence.
“If one of us pretends to be sick at night, then the other could call for help...” Maria suggested.
Anna nodded eagerly.
***
“Help,” Maria hammered her fists against the door. “Help me, please, I don’t know what is wrong with her!”
Anna was lying on the bed whining.
