Deep Down, page 21
part #3 of Crush Series
“Romantic.”
“Okay. What would you like to do about it?”
“I want to try a relationship with him, but I don’t know if I can with how fucked up I am.”
Amanda leaned back in her chair, fixing him with a frown. “You’re not fucked up, Craig. I can see strength in you, and I bet others do, too. I know Alex does. You’ll get through this. I think you should follow what you would like to do with Alex. Why not ask him on a date?”
“He might say no.”
“He might say yes.” Amanda smiled.
The pre-Darren Craig would’ve asked Alex out without any hesitation. He wanted to get back to being that Craig, not the Craig he was now.
“You will, Craig. Not completely the Craig you were before, but a good likeness. Let everything sink in from today. Come talk to me if you need me. We’ll meet again next week as agreed and go from there.”
Craig drifted slowly down the corridors and into the lift, thinking about what to do with Alex. He should see how it goes and not push anything yet. After all, he had time.
But as he entered the restaurant and saw Alex at their table, his heart raced. Craig remembered the feeling he’d had when Alex had told him he was seeing someone else. He’d been heartbroken, but he hadn’t recognised the emotion for what it was at the time. The closer he got to the table, the more he wanted his future.
Craig stopped by the table, and Alex smiled at him.
“You ready, or do you want a coffee before we go?” Alex gazed up at him.
Craig studied Alex, seeing the laughter lines around his eyes and mouth, the small crinkle in one of his eyebrows when he raised it and the motion of his tongue licking his lip. Without further thought, Craig leaned down and kissed Alex. Craig pulled his hand from his pocket and cupped beneath Alex’s ear, his fingers against the back of his head. He didn’t take the kiss any further than a hard peck, but as he pulled back, resting his forehead against Alex’s, he felt a warmth spread through his body and a lightness in his chest he had not felt for a long while.
They stared into each other’s eyes, Alex’s wide with shock.
“Will you go on a date with me?” Craig hadn’t intended to ask yet but wouldn’t take it back, especially with the smile Alex gave him. To say it was beaming would not do it justice.
“Yes. Yes. A thousand times, yes.” Alex reached forward, pulling back after laying a gentle kiss on his lips as confirmation. “Thank you.”
“For what?” Craig frowned.
“For giving me a chance despite all the mistakes I’ve made.”
“In that case, thank you.”
It was Alex’s turn to be confused. “Why?”
“For giving me a chance despite how clueless I am about some things.”
Alex laughed and pressed another kiss against Craig’s mouth. “Let’s go meet the other guys.” Alex rose and gripped Craig’s hand tightly. He paused, studying their joined hands. “Do you not want the guys to know. About us, I mean?”
Craig placed a hand on Alex’s chin, lifting his face until he could see Alex’s eyes. “I’m happy for them to know. I won’t keep secrets from them.”
Alex grinned. “Let’s go.”
Craig giggled—a sound he’d never thought he’d make—and enjoyed watching Alex like an excited puppy. He hoped he would see it a great deal more.
****
Two years later
Alex
“Hey, sweetheart. How did it go?” Alex dropped the dishcloth into the sink and dried his hands before enfolding Craig in his arms and inhaling his scent.
Craig gripped the back of Alex’s shirt, as he always did, and exhaled against his neck. “Good. Tiring, but good. You know how much talking to Amanda wears me out.”
Pulling back, Alex lifted a hand to Craig’s cheek and kissed him gently. “You ready for dinner now? Or do you fancy having a bath first?”
“Hmm, a bath sounds nice.”
“Okay. Let me switch off the oven, and I’ll get it set up for you. Why don’t you go and chill for a bit, and I’ll call you when it’s done?
Craig nodded, lifted his chin to join their lips briefly and pulled away. Alex watched as he drifted down the hallway to their bedroom before switching the oven off. He hesitated outside the bedroom door, wanting to wrap Craig in his arms again, but knowing he needed time to decompress from his session. Sighing in regret of everything Craig had been through and was still going through, Alex did what he could to make things easier. Craig had come so far in the last few years, but some things refused to leave him. So, he continued to work on it with Amanda, once a month.
The warm, lavender-scented bathwater was prepared with little fanfare, the scent chosen as a soothing reminder of Craig’s childhood, and Alex called for Craig. He entered wearing his boxers and nothing else. Alex swallowed at the vision and exhaled slowly, hiding his immediate arousal.
“All yours.”
“Thanks, Alex.” Craig shed his underwear, leaving it in a heap on the floor when he climbed into the bathtub. Craig’s groan created havoc in Alex’s body, and he shifted from foot to foot.
“I’ll leave you to it. Shout me if you need anything. I’ll bring you a glass of water in a few.” Alex exited the bathroom, traipsing to the kitchen on his self-imposed errand and ignoring his body’s response. Filling a tall glass with water from the tap, he inhaled and exhaled a few times to get himself under control and headed back to place it on the side of the bath where Craig could reach it.
Craig was laid submerged, save for his chin upwards, with his eyes closed. If Alex didn’t know better, he’d have said Craig was asleep. It was the tension lines along his forehead, which gave away his less than peaceful demeanour.
Wishing he could do more to help, Alex shifted away.
“Stay.”
Alex jumped at Craig’s voice, having not expected it. Facing Craig once more, he saw Craig had his eyes closed. “You sure?”
“Definitely. You can scrub my back.” A small smile appeared on Craig’s face.
Needing no more invitation, Alex scrambled to remove his clothes. Standing next to the bath, naked and unable to hide his arousal, he waited for Craig to open his eyes.
“That’s a nice picture.” Craig pulled himself forward to indicate for Alex to get in behind him, which he did without hesitation. After he sat, Craig leaned back, getting comfortable against Alex’s chest and encouraging Alex to lift his legs over Craig’s.
Alex wrapped his arms around Craig, leaning his cheek against the top of his head and exhaled into Craig’s hair. He wanted to ask if everything was alright, but Craig would tell him when he was ready.
“Thank you, Alex.”
“Whatever for?”
Craig rolled his head to the side and pierced Alex with his gaze. “For everything. For helping me become who I was before, who I wanted to be. For loving me as I am and continuing to love me as I become my old self.”
“I love every part of you, and that’s not going to change.” Alex pressed his lips against Craig’s temple.
“I love you, too.”
Closing his eyes, he cherished every time Craig told him he loved him. He believed Craig, but Alex knew how short life could be.
They laid quietly for some time, rousing to add some hot water when it cooled considerably. As the water rippled around them, Craig’s breath caught, and his muscles tensed.
“You okay?” Alex peered down at Craig, witnessing the heat enter his cheeks, flowing down his neck and chest. As his gaze followed the path, it came to rest on Craig’s cock, standing upright in the water, with the ripples dancing around his tip. Craig’s breathing increased with the motion his hips made, encouraging the water’s movements. “Does that feel nice?”
Craig licked his lips, inhaled deeply and nodded. “I came like this once. Thinking about you.”
His admission sent heat flooding his veins, and his cock hardened in seconds. “Fuck.” Lying as they were, Alex could picture it with ease. Sliding one hand up Craig’s stomach to his nipples, Alex flicked each nub until it was swollen and rigid.
“Ah, yes.” Craig’s movements increased, the more Alex teased his nipples.
He slid his other hand down to wrap around the base of Craig’s cock. “Do you want to come like this?”
Craig whimpered, biting his lip but shook his head. “No. I want you inside me.”
“Craig…we don’t have any lube that will work in here.” Alex dropped his head back and stared at the ceiling, wishing he’d thought of this potential result.
“Shelf.” Craig’s words were barely vocalised, as quiet as they were.
Alex swung his head around to the shelf next to the bath and, lo and behold, there was a tube. Reaching for it, not daring to hope it could be useful, Alex read the writing. “Fuck, yeah.” Water-based lube. Best invention on the planet. He frowned. “I fell for this ruse, didn’t I?”
Craig gave a shaky smile, thrusting his hips gently to create waves. “Yeah. Enough talking. Fuck me already.”
After two years together, Alex was occasionally caught unawares with Craig’s strong personality. He loved every second of it, however much it meant getting his ass reamed—no pun intended—on occasion.
Flicking open the tube, he squirted some on his fingers and replaced it on the shelf. He reached past Craig’s cock to his hole, not wanting to risk the lube washing off if he played first. Pulling his legs back enabled him to widen Craig’s, giving him more room to manoeuvre. Rubbing against his ass, Alex watched for any discomfort as he pressed two fingers forward. Other than faster motions with his hips, Craig appeared content. Alex was, too. With every movement Craig made, Alex’s cock rubbed between their bodies, encouraging his arousal without the need for other stimulation.
He prepped Craig quickly, knowing his body well after so long together. Snagging the lube once more, he spread some on his cock and indicated for Craig to lift himself while Alex positioned himself and pressed in. Alex was obviously too slow for Craig because Craig dropped himself down on Alex’s shaft without preamble.
“Fuck!” they chorused as Alex settled inside Craig. Alex pulled Craig’s back against his chest and gripped him under his thighs. Using his hands, he slid Craig up his chest and off his cock before gliding him back down onto it again.
“You feel good, Craig. So fucking good.”
When Alex’s arms shook with exertion, he ordered, “Kneel over me and hold onto my knees.” In that position, Alex pumped his hips faster, getting more friction for them both. It also enabled him to hit Craig’s prostate, which he realised when Craig swore.
“Right there! Right fucking there!” Craig dropped his head forward and met Alex’s thrusts with his own. “Oh, yes, Alex. Fuck, yes.”
“I’m close. Jerk yourself. I want you to come with me.” The growl in his voice meant he was closer than he thought. “Fucking hell. Craig, I’m going to come.”
“I’m there, fuck, I’m…” Craig’s words descended into moans and whimpers as his ass clamped rhythmically on Alex’s cock, sending him into orbit.
Everything went blurry, and Alex lost sense of time. When he came back, Craig was nestled against his chest once more.
Alex exhaled loudly. “Wow.”
Craig chuckled. “Yeah, you could say that.”
“I’m getting cold. Let’s get out.”
They scrambled out, drying off and strode to the bedroom. Alex jumped under the covers and waited for Craig to join him. They laid on their sides facing each other, one hand under each of their pillows, their other hands linked together on top. Alex leaned forward to press a kiss to Craig’s knuckles.
“My session went well. You know I’ve been a bit anxious lately, and I’ve managed to figure it all out now.” Craig paused. “I love that you never force me to give you information until I’m ready. I love that you’re always here, unconditionally. You take me as I am, broken—no, not broken, cracked—pieces and all and never force me to heal quicker than I’m able to. I can honestly say, I’ve never met anyone as amazing as you.”
Alex stared at Craig with tears in his eyes. “I love you.”
“And I love you. Which is why…” Craig pulled his hand from under his pillow, “I’d like to ask…if you will marry me?”
Staring at the open ring box in front of Alex’s nose, tears dripped unchecked down his face, blurring his vision. Alex could not believe Craig was asking him. He never expected it. Well, at some point in the future because Alex would have proposed sooner rather than later. But for Craig to be the one to do it…
“Yes! Hell, yes! Fuck, yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!” Alex croaked the words in between his sobs. He couldn’t see a thing, but he felt Craig kiss his lips and wipe away his tears.
“Oh, sweetheart. Thank you.” Craig pulled Alex up, so they were both sitting and held him in his arms.
Once Alex could see clearer, Craig took the ring out of the box and pushed it onto Alex’s finger. Alex lifted it to his eyes and saw a solid silver ring with a Celtic knot surrounding a picture of a heart, crown and hands. Alex remembered seeing the image before but couldn’t place it.
“It’s a Claddagh ring. The heart represents love, the crown represents loyalty, and the hands represent friendship. All the things that remind me of you.” Craig bit his lip. “I know you might not be able to wear it to work…”
Alex leaned forward and silenced him with a kiss. “I will wear it proudly every day.”
“I love you.”
“Love you.”
****
Find out if Colton and Ioan’s on-off transatlantic relationship will work in A Crush for Christmas, and read on for a teaser. And for a taste of the free short story you get if you sign up to my newsletter…
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Oliver and Griffin have been married for years. They’ve agreed to an open relationship to get what they both need as long as it’s within the walls of Club Royal and there’s nothing more than play. When Oliver watches Griffin play with Xan, he realises his husband has fallen in love with the sub. What can Oliver do to keep Griffin by his side?
This is an MMM romance with BDSM scenes and a happily ever after.
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A Crush for Christmas Teaser
Ioan
As Ioan sauntered back to Rose’s room, carrying her breakfast tray, he heard a distinctive accent behind him, and a shiver went down his spine. Ioan paused, twisting slightly to observe the man at the reception desk. The spiky, sandy blond hair and three-day scruff had not changed in the year since Ioan last saw Colton and, when Colton faced him, neither had the spark that lit in his chest whenever their gazes met.
Ignoring his reaction, he said, “Mr Jenkins? Your mum is this way.” His heart missed a beat when Colton—not CJ as his mother called him, that was reserved just for her—grinned at him.
“Ioan. Nice to see you again. I wasn’t sure if the staff would’ve changed since I was last here.”
“We are quite good at keeping our staff, it seems,” Ioan said, continuing to walk while trying to ignore Colton’s nearness.
“I’m glad. I’d hate to have to remember new people’s names every time I came back.” Colton chuckled. “How is she?”
“She’s having a good day and is so excited to see you. She’s sat watching TV while I fetched her breakfast. We weren’t expecting you for another hour or so.”
Colton flushed, and Ioan tried to wet his dry throat. “I was excited,” he said quietly.
“I can imagine. Good thing you have special visiting times, eh?”
Laura had sat down with Colton the previous year to discuss his plans for while he was there. They had agreed for the duration of his visit that he could visit his mother whenever he wanted to as long as he didn’t disturb the other residents. Colton had agreed, so he was able to come and go as he pleased. The previous year, he had been mostly at the nursing home during the day, except when his mum had a nap, then he walked the grounds.
Ioan had been impressed with how devoted Colton had been, and when they had found time for a chat, Ioan had found out some more about the situation surrounding their close-knit family. It had turned out, they had a similar family situation. Colton only had his mum left; Ioan only had his dad. Neither had siblings, and both had extended family that they didn’t see very much. They were also a similar age, although Ioan had two years on Colton.
Ioan entered Rose’s room, placing the tray on the little wooden table they used as her dining table when she was in her room. “I found a stranger out in the corridor. Should I let him keep you company?”
Rose frowned at him, then the creases on her forehead cleared when she saw Colton, and a radiant smile spread across her face.
Colton stepped towards her as she rose out of her chair, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her neck. Ioan heard sniffling and moved his gaze away from the private moment, wiping his finger under his eyes to remove the evidence of his own tears. Emotional reunions always made him teary. He concentrated on laying out Rose’s breakfast, waiting until they had started talking before glancing over to check if they were still embraced. When he saw they weren’t, he picked the table up and carried it to next to the chair.
“Your breakfast is served, madam,” he said in a posh accent and with a bow, just like a butler in one of her favourite movies. He glanced at Colton, lifting the back of his hand to shield his mouth from Rose in a pretend secret conversation. “There’s even some extra strawberries if you’d like some.”
Colton grinned at him. “Thanks, Ioan.”
“I’ll leave you to your food. Give me a shout if you need anything; otherwise, I will see you in a little while.”
