Deep Down, page 20
part #3 of Crush Series
“I don’t,” Craig coughed, “know if it’s a good idea.”
“If you’re worried about Heath, don’t be. I broke up with him.” Alex swore he could see a flicker in Craig’s eyes, but it could’ve been a trick of the light. He didn’t add the ending on that sentence he wanted to—for you—because Craig was gaping at him enough as it was.
Their essentially one-sided conversation ended when their order was called, and they headed to the counter. Alex paid for the order, eliciting a complaint from Craig.
“They won’t let me pay for their time. It’s the least I can do!”
Alex countered his words after they collected the three bags full of food. “No. What you can do is hang out with them. Invite them for dinner. Go when others invite you. They don’t need you to pay them to be there. They want you in their lives. Same as I do.”
The journey back to Craig’s house was quiet. Alex didn’t feel inclined to fill the silence this time, allowing Craig time to think through what Alex had said. When Alex parked the car, Craig pivoted towards him.
“Can we be friends for a while? Hang out and such?” Craig worried his lip between his finger and thumb.
“Of course, we can.” Alex was more than happy with his answer. It was something he could build on.
The next few hours went by in a flurry of laughter, banter and friendship. Alex had never been so content, and Craig had joined in several times, too. Unfortunately, the time for him to leave came too quickly.
“Right, sorry to love you and leave you, guys, but I have to get ready for work.” Alex stood, brushing off his jeans.
“Oh god, Alex. You shouldn’t have done all this work if you had to go to the hospital. I feel awful.” Craig tunnelled his hand through his hair, agitation evident on his face.
“You didn’t ask me to do it, Craig. I wanted to help.” Alex glanced at Max. “Hey, guys, when are you next going out?”
“Friday, as it happens. My sister, Livvy, is coming up for her birthday. We’re doing dinner at Romano’s then refreshments at Crush. You’re more than welcome to join us. It’s a free for all.” Max grinned.
“Perfect. I’ll see you all Friday.” Alex shuffled out of the bedroom and headed to the front of the house. Craig saw him out.
“Thanks for your help, Alex. I appreciate it.” Craig gave a small, nervous smile.
“You’re welcome.” Alex hesitated but did what he wanted to. He leaned in slowly, advertising to Craig his intentions. He brushed his lips against Craig’s cheek, immediately withdrew and pivoted to leave. He was sure his long night shift at the hospital would do nothing to remove the smile from his face.
****
Friday rolled around quickly, even by Alex’s standard. He’d worked three night shifts, followed by two day shifts, and when he woke Friday morning, he couldn’t fathom how it had happened. He’d had no contact with Craig since the previous Saturday and no clue whether he would be with the guys tonight. Alex would go anyway. If Craig wasn’t there, Alex would enjoy the time with his newfound friends.
Entering Romano’s, Alex realised he had no idea who had booked the table. Luckily, he could see Max was already seated with Trent and a woman whose manner and appearance was decidedly similar to Max, except with longer and curlier hair. He waved away the server, striding over to the table with the flowers and card he’d picked up on his way. He hadn’t wanted to arrive empty-handed.
“Alex! Glad you could make it.” Max stood, giving him a half-hug in greeting. “This is my sister, Livvy.”
“Happy birthday, Livvy.” He presented the gifts to her with a smile.
“Oh, they’re beautiful. Thank you, Alex.” She rounded the table and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“You’re welcome. You’re looking good for…what was it, Max? Ninety-three?” Alex sniggered, along with Trent, at the glare Max gave him.
“Thank you, kind sir.” Livvy focused on Max. “Well, if I’m ninety-three,” she smiled sweetly, “that would make you ninety-eight.” She frowned. “Damn, you look good.” She bussed a kiss on Max’s cheek and ruffled his hair.
“Alex, would you like a drink?” Trent’s question rose above the sibling back and forth as Trent smiled at Max like a lovesick puppy.
“Lemonade would be great, thanks.” He knew Romano’s sold only wine, and he wasn’t a fan.
Trent hesitated before leaving for the bar, staring behind Alex with a smile. “Hey, guys. Glad you could make it.”
Alex checked over his shoulder to see who had arrived, his heart leaping when Craig came into view with Sean and Asher.
“We picked him up on the way.” Sean winked at Alex. “He couldn’t decide whether to come or not. We made the decision for him.”
Alex watched as Craig straightened his spine. “I was coming. I was going to meet you at Crush instead of here.”
Rolling his lips inwards to suppress his smile, warmth spread through Alex’s body at the spark being relit in Craig. They needed more kindling, then Craig would be back. At least Alex hoped he would. This motley crew could be the people to do it.
Sean led the way to the seats next to Alex, leaving one space between before sitting with Asher on his other side. Craig had no choice but to sit next to Alex unless he wanted to sit across the other side. From the corner of his eye, Alex saw Craig pause before sitting.
Hoping to ease Craig into joining in the conversation, Alex asked Sean a question about his work, which prompted some funny anecdotes which had them all laughing, including Craig. Drinks were spread among the whole table, more people arriving before food was ordered. Everything seemed civil to Alex. At least until they got into Crush later.
Max had obviously told someone in the bar about it because it had been decorated with balloons, and several tables had been pulled together with plenty of seats around it to seat them all. Tom, the owner, came over to wish Livvy a happy birthday and tell them their drinks were on the house. After sufficient bantering, Tom delivered his final word on it.
“If you want to pay for something, give the bartenders some nice tips. No money will be entering the till from your party tonight. Have fun.”
Max sighed. “I should’ve known he’d do this.”
“Is it a bad thing?” Alex asked.
“No. Tom is one of the best guys around. He spoils us rotten because we helped get the Garden Bar up and running. He hardly ever lets us pay when we’re having a party. I sometimes wonder whether to protest by going somewhere else.” Max chortled. “It feels like cheating somehow, though.”
“Ah, sweetheart. You’ll get over it. Just means you’ll have to take Livvy shopping tomorrow to buy her something instead.” Trent waggled his eyebrows up and down.
Alex sniggered at Max’s expression. “I take it that’s not a good idea?” A rhetorical question if there ever was one.
“Alex, Alex, Alex. What you have yet to be subjected to is my need to visit every shop on a high street regardless of what it sells. Now, Maxy here. He knows. And he is going to take me into town tomorrow with his head held high, and by the time we come home, his muscles will be bulging from carrying plenty of bags.”
“Ah, a shopaholic, eh?” Alex raised his eyebrows.
“The world saw me when they created that word.” Livvy laughed maniacally and bent over gasping for breath when Max tickled her.
For some good reason, Craig had sat back next to Alex when they moved from Romano’s to Crush, and Alex committed his laughter to memory.
“Are you a shopaholic, Craig?” Alex asked.
Craig sputtered. “No.” He hesitated. “Well, maybe.”
“Oh, do tell.”
“I told you, I started buying paperweights again?” He waited for Alex’s nod. “Well, I have several more now than I expected to have. And I went and bought all that new furniture, including the glass cabinet for the paperweights. It’s conceivable I’m becoming the shopaholic.”
Alex snickered. “I think you have a way to go yet, your virtue is safe.”
Craig flushed and bit his lip.
“Tell me about your paperweights. What ones have you bought?” Alex swallowed some of his beer, watching as the happiness shone through in Craig’s demeanour and words as he spoke about his collection.
Several hours later, Alex and Craig climbed into a taxi to share home. It dropped Craig off first. Craig hesitated before exiting, blinking rapidly at Alex. Without warning, Craig leaned forward and planted a kiss on Alex’s lips, and just as quickly pulled away and closed the taxi door behind him. Alex sat shocked, the drunk feeling receding with Craig’s stunt.
Alex frowned, narrowing his eyes. No way would he let Craig get away with that manoeuvre, blaming it on the alcohol, no doubt. He’d see about that. Not yet, but when the time is right. He smiled as he recalled the pressure of Craig’s lips on his during the journey home and fell asleep to the same memory.
****
Chapter 28
Craig
Craig hesitated, staring at his phone and pressed the dial button. Taking a deep breath, he chewed his lip, gaze bouncing around the living room as it rang in his ear.
“Hello?”
“I need you.” They weren’t the words Craig had planned on saying, but they were accurate all the same.
“Craig?”
Of course, he wouldn’t know who was ringing him, they’d never swapped numbers. Craig had it because Casey had given it to him the other day, saying he might need it one day. “Yeah, it’s me. Can you help me?”
“Of course, I can. Are you at home?”
“Yes, but I’m leaving for…the courthouse. Can you meet me there?”
“On my way.”
The phone went dead, and the relief coursing through Craig was indescribable. When he arrived at the courthouse twenty minutes later, Alex was already there—along with several friends. Alex strode towards him and enfolded Craig in his arms. Craig automatically closed his arms around Alex’s back and gripped his jacket, burrowing his face in Alex’s shoulder and neck.
Alex had not pushed anything on Craig since the confirmation of Alex’s intentions, but Craig felt more relaxed than ever in Alex’s arms. Today was the day he would have to face Darren in court, and he was apprehensive about it. Not because he feared Darren, but of the possibility that Craig would still have feelings for him. It was worrying him more than anything, mainly because he’d had no idea the abuse had been happening in the context it was. It was difficult to separate the two when he’d not seen Darren since the night of the incident.
Alex pulled back and cupped Craig’s jaw. “You’re not alone.”
Craig tried to smile. Alex nodded, threaded their fingers together and whirled towards their friends. Craig couldn’t believe they’d come.
“What are you guys doing here?” Craig’s gaze roamed the group in front of him.
“We support our friends when they need it. End of.” Sean’s sharp remark was met with nods and words of agreement.
“And I support you, but I’m here in an official capacity, too.” Logan nodded. “And, unfortunately, it’s time to go in.”
Craig inhaled shakily, gripped Alex’s hand and repeated the refrain, ”You’re not alone,” as the eight of them marched up the front steps of the building and into the courtroom together. Johnson was stood at a table to the middle of the room, rummaging through a bag. Another person, presumably another lawyer, was sat at the table behind Johnson. Max, Trent, Sean, Zak and Casey all filed in the seats in the public gallery.
Alex squeezed his hand, and Craig glanced over at him. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Craig nodded and encouraged his hand to pull away from Alex’s, although he didn’t want to. He inhaled again as he lost the physical connection to Alex but squared his shoulders and strode towards Johnson. Glancing back over his shoulder, he saw Alex sit on the aisle seat, gaze on Craig. Pulling strength from him, Craig continued.
“Hey.”
“Craig, hi. How are you doing?” Johnson placed a folder on the table and focused on Craig.
“Been better. But I’ll survive.”
“You will be fine. We have about ten minutes. Have a seat, and I’ll explain a few things to you before the judge enters.”
Working through final reminders and information, Craig managed to relax—not a huge amount, but some—until the judge entered the room. Following the usher’s directions on autopilot, Craig focused on his breathing as Amanda had shown him how to do when he was in a situation he was struggling with. Tensing further when the judge announced Darren would be entering, Craig resolutely kept his face forward. He knew where Darren would be because Johnson had explained that all defendants were sat in an enclosed area within the room they were all in. It had windows allowing people to see in and out, but anyone who was in there would not be able to get to the rest of the room without a fight.
Craig knew he had to look at Darren, to assuage his own fears if nothing else, but he couldn’t do it yet. Johnson rested a hand on Craig’s shoulder, squeezing gently and whispering reassurances.
Johnson stood after the judge had recited the charges against Darren—grievous bodily harm with intent—and stated a comprehensive list of the injuries Craig had sustained on multiple occurrences, which the hospital was aware of and continued listing the injuries and incidences when Craig had not attended the hospital or doctors at all, this information having been provided by Craig.
The other lawyer objected to this information being allowed because it was Craig’s word against Darren’s, but the judge overruled and allowed the evidence, as Johnson had said they would.
Johnson continued his statement, detailing the controlling and coercive behaviour Darren had exhibited and the repercussions of them, mainly Craig’s time with Amanda, but also the panic attacks and other relevant information. Craig couldn’t keep track of the vast amount of information being provided by both sides.
When Johnson sat, Craig chanced a glance over at Darren, thinking he would appear repentant after all the information had been listed. Darren sat there, staring at Craig already, with anger showing on his face. Craig had seen this expression many times over the years and had learned to adapt to it. He felt his body wilting until Amanda’s voice reminded him, he was strong, that Darren would not hurt him again, that Darren was in the wrong, not Craig. With the extra encouragement, Craig sat straight and stared at Darren, hoping to convey his strength before turning his head back to Johnson.
Johnson smirked at him, obviously aware of what Craig was doing. The rest of the court case went surprisingly fast, including witness statements being read from his neighbours and Darren’s ex, and Logan being questioned until the judge exited to make his decision.
“You did good. And the fuck you expression you gave Darren. Perfect!” Johnson’s voice rang with pride and laughter, making Craig smile, a more confident smile this time.
The judge entered after around fifteen minutes and ruled in Craig’s favour. Darren was going to jail for eight years.
“Fuck, yeah!” a voice from the gallery called out when the ruling was complete.
“You’re all done, Craig. You’re free to go.” Johnson packed up his paperwork after giving Craig a hug.
“Thank you, Johnson. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” Craig felt numb. He couldn’t reconcile what had happened with what it meant for him. He roamed back to the guys and received hugs and congratulations in response to the ruling. He had no idea what he replied to them.
“We should go and celebrate.” Max, of course, wanted to celebrate anything and everything.
“Um, thanks, guys, but I think I’m going to go see…someone.” Craig didn’t know how many people knew about him seeing a psychologist, but after the word came out, he figured out he didn’t care. “I’m going to talk to my psychologist. I need to get my head on straight again after that.”
“Okay, no problem. Do you fancy meeting up with us afterwards?”
“Sure. I’ll call if I don’t feel up to it, but I should be alright.”
Craig waved goodbye to everyone, realising after a few steps, Alex was keeping pace beside him. “What are you doing? Aren’t you going with the rest of them?”
“No. Not yet. I’m right where I’m needed.” Alex watched Craig as if waiting for his reaction.
Craig nodded as they reached his car. Pulling his keys from his pocket, he chucked them to Alex. “Fancy driving?”
Alex smiled and opened the passenger door for Craig to get in before rounding the other side. The journey to the hospital was quiet.
“I’m going to get a coffee from the restaurant. You know where to find me when you’re done.” Alex leaned in and hugged him briefly before waving as he ambled off. Craig stared after him until Alex disappeared around the corner.
Craig had made the appointment with Amanda as soon as the court date had come through. He knew he’d need to talk about it, and Amanda had agreed; therefore, they’d set aside two hours today just in case. As he sat in front of her, he found himself unsure what to say.
“I can see you’re looking a little lost. How about you tell me what the verdict was, and we’ll go from there.” Amanda leaned forward on her bent knees, fingers linked, hair swinging free from behind her ears.
“Darren got eight years.” Craig frowned. “I don’t know in all honesty. I was expecting to feel relief, but I feel…numb, empty.” Craig exhaled hard as he slumped back in the seat.
“That’s all understandable. You must remember, Craig, when you first came to the hospital, you had no idea what was happening to you, was abuse. You didn’t see it that way. We’ve been working on it, but it’s something which will be with you for a while. We need to bridge the gap, and in time, we will. It’s okay me saying the words, but you have to understand and believe them before they will become a reality.”
“I like Alex. I don’t know what to do about it.”
Amanda didn’t balk at the abrupt change of subject, she rolled with it, doubtless the years of experience she had. “When you say you like him, do you mean in a romantic way or a friendship way?” She tilted her head, hitting the nail on the head as usual.
