“We came to my store, a two-story frame buildin’ on the main street, an’ entered. Half the procession stopped outside the door, but the others, curious as American women at a divorce trial, came in, which wasn’t a bad thing for trade. Estes Desmay, who dealt out sodas to the senoritas of the burg by day, an’ made love to ’em by night, gaped at us over the heads of the crowd, while he put sweaty, foaming glasses into their yellow hands.

  “‘Cornerer of the fizz market,’ says Danny, as we followed the boys with the trunk up to me livin’ room above the store, ‘for shame to poison hitherto blameless stomachs with the deadly dope of freedom’s land.’

  “‘Once in Cairo, ‘I began, but he was busy payin’ the niggers from the ship. They got a good sum, which pleased me as well as them, for I knew they lacked the strength of mind to get by the soda fountain in the room below. Then I sat on the bed, an’ Danny sat on his trunk, an’ we looked at each other.

  “The play is pretty,’ I says, ‘but it lacks plot. Are you goin’ to throw in a few helpful words an’ stir ‘till thicker, or are you goin’ to continue sittin’ on your baggage an’ lookin’ wise?’

  “‘Fear not,’ Danny says, ‘I’ll let you into the secrets of me heart. I’ve got to. I need a boardin’ place too bad to act conservative.’

  “‘Not long ago,’ he runs on, ‘the United States of America, a land we visit occasionally an’ call home all the time, was devastated by the celluloid-button craze. All your friends wore buttons on their lapels, with the picture of the man they wanted to be president, or thought they did. Sometimes ‘t was a portrait of a fighter who’d won glory an’ medals by emulatin’ the constitution an’ followin’ the flag. Whether it give the heroes of politics an’ war pleasure or not, I dont know, but I suppose ‘t was a variety of flattery, in its way. Anyhow, one day in New York I happened on a magazine tellin’ about Marcos Errada, who just now holds the office of President over this collection of hothouse plants the newspapers call a republic. The article parted with little real information, except to remark that Marcos is a vain, silly popinjay, much feared by his people. ‘T was then the idea began to jump up an’ dance around in me head. A kind friend in the ice-cream business supplied me with Errada’s photo, I supplied me self with the few hundred I had in the bank an’ — the results are in the trunk.’

  “He unlocked it an’ puttin’ in his hand, drew out a lot of celluloid buttons, which he threw on the bed beside me. I picked one up. ‘T was a bit large, about an inch an’ a quarter in diameter, an’ on the back was a long pin for fastenin’ it to the coat. ‘T was decorated by a bunch of black whiskers surroundin’ a face, an’ underneath in Spanish I read:

  “‘MARCOS ERRADA,

  “‘OUR BELOVED PRESIDENT.’

  “What does it mean, Danny?’ I gasps.

  “‘It means,’ says Danny, ‘that if anyone springs that old chestnut about “Button, button, who’s got the button?” in your neighborhood, you ‘re to give them me business card. Forty thousand I have here, which is the population of Allorzan accordin’ to the American Consul’s latest report, not countin’ the poorer niggers to whom cash is a novelty. Forty thousand, Jimmy, at two pesos — a dollar in real money — each. That’s me price. What does it mean, you ask? It means that when I’ve transferred the celluloid contents of this trunk to the pajamas of Allorzan. Ill be rich beyond the wildest dreams of any ice-cream magnate in the business.’

  “‘It sounds all right,’ I says, ‘in New York. Here’t is different. You may not be in on the secret, but the people are not dead in love with the hero of your little caricatures. He’s disliked, hated, reviled — behind his back. ‘T is not at all proud they’ll be to wear his face on their manly chests.’

  “You dont look far enough ahead,’ says Danny, ‘that’s the trouble with you. The natives here are mere children, an’ they’d be ticked to death with these toys if the picture was that of the devil himself. An’ if I strike any who are lackin’ in childish instincts, why, I’ve other arguments up me sleeve. Refusin’ to buy an Errada button will be looked upon as — what? Treason to the government — secret plottin’, perhaps, — disparagement of a glorious administration, at any rate. By merely hintin’ at this I can make any citizen of Allorzan dig down for the pesos so cheerful he’ll tear a hole in his pocket.’

  “I looked at O’Grady, very long an’ very close.

  “‘Danny, me boy,’ I says, I’ve misjudged you. For many long years I’ve underrated you. Can it be that beneath that shock of hair there beats a brain? You ‘re a great man, an’ I’m proud to lend you me ice factory for a bedroom.’

  “The incident of the buttons,’ says O’Grady, lockin’ the trunk, ’is closed for the day. Tomorrow I begin me house-to-house canvass in the interests of personal decoration. An’ now, if all the places where real drinks are sold have not been driven to the wall by your infernal temperance spa. Ill be pleased to give you New York’s regards over a bottle with an American label.’

  “T is a sayin’ of Mulacy, seer, that he who invents a new plaything for the amusement of this palm-adorned nursery is as popular as the battle-scarred hero of twenty revolutions. ‘T was only necessary for Danny to exhibit his pretty button, an’ he became the idol of the week. The heavens rained pesos upon him. In ten days the entire population of Limona, men an’ women, made up the list of Danny’s satisfied customers. Every child old enough not to mistake it for a wafer an’ swallow it, was the proud possessor of an Errada button. ‘T was then Danny took up his trunk an’ headed for the towns down the coast.

  “Errada was back in the mountains on a vacation when O’Grady arrived, an’ he returned to town too late to meet the man who was blithely scatterin’ his face over Allorzan. I was anxious to know how the old boy took it, an’ interviewed Estes.

  “‘Of a truth he is pleased,’ says Estes. ‘“Carram-bos, in other lands am I appreciate,” he say. “Now will I even more popular become through the work of this Americano so kind.” Yes. He is pleased — verree much.’

  “When O’Grady come back three weeks later, he had an empty trunk an’ eighty thousand pesos.

  “‘After I’ve changed this business-college currency into the real article,’ he says, ‘I’ll have forty thousand, cold. Jimmy, me boy, I’ve made a small fortune in celluloid. All that remains to be done is to give me respects an’ this heavy, bronze button, which I had made for the occasion, to President Errada. Then I’m off to a live land to join the hated millionaires in their revels. By the way, what does Old Whiskers say to me little boom?’

  ‘Of a truth he is pleased,’ I says, quotin’ Estes, ‘t is the chance of your life, me boy. The treasury of Allorzan is nothin’ but an eyesore an’ a trouble to the country,’ I says, ‘an’ you’ve got a duty to perform. Errada heard you was comin’ back, an’ he’s arranged to receive you in state this afternoon. Danny, you’ve flattered him ‘till he’s ashamed of himself — you’ve patted him on the back ‘till he’s weak from loss of breath. Now go up there this day,’ I says, ‘an’ whatever you do, hold the palm of your hand toward high heaven.’

  “Danny went. When he come home from the interview he was closely attached to the smile that wont depart. I called him into the ice factory.

  “‘Do you die at daybreak?’ I says, ‘or are you Secretary of State?’

  “‘Glory be,’ shouts Danny, ‘I’ve had the time of—’

  “‘Sit down on that cake of ice,’ I says, ‘an’ cool off. Excitement’s not manly. Begin at the beginning.’

  “That I will,’ he says, ‘I goes up to the big, white, churchy-lookin’ house where Errada lives, an’ they took me into the glitterin’ theater-lobby he calls his reception room. I see him sittin’ in a Morris chair on a platform. He’s a little man, with a face composed mostly of black whiskers an’ two yellow, shiftin’ eyes. His hands are thin an’ white, an’ all the time jerkin’ nervous, like they ‘re feelin’ for somebody’s throat. The tin soldiery of the country was lined up along the wall, lookin’ cross-eyed at the tinsel decorations on their chests. Errada got off his perch an’ give me a handshake.

  “‘ “O thou disseminator of buttons,” he says, or words to that effect, “high honor indeed thou hast brought to me so humble, and to my country O! so glorious. Much gratitude do I procure,” he says, “to see my picture pinned to many thousand dirty shirts, under which beat hearts to my careful administration true and loyal.”

  “‘ “Peerless potentate,” I says, examinin’ the medal exhibit on his bosom for a vacancy, “what I have done is but a triflin’ expression of regard from one great people to another. I have here,” I says, “a bronze model of the buttons I have disseminated. ‘T was made especially for your Excellency. Be assured it is the loola of the lot,” I says, “an’ I now ask permission to pin it to the chest where already gleam a hundred medals won on I do not know how many fields of battle an’ of art,” I says.

  “‘ “Of a certainty, it is beautiful,” he says, encorin’ the handshake, “an’ for it there must of necessity be a price verree great. No more than that you should mention it,” he says.

  “‘I did a back-breakin’ bow.

  “‘ “Do not, I beg of you,” I says, “speak of so sordid a thing as gold. This button is but a poor token of me admiration for a ruler among rulers,” I says, “an’ a king among men.”

  “‘“So be it,” he laughs, “from our minds we will the gold obliterate. But before you go, my Secretary will hand you for five thousand dollars in your money, a check. Accept, I plead with you. For the honor you have made me, it is my small return.”

  “‘He looked at me close.

  “‘“In your own land,” he says, “have you ever in politics mingled?”

  “‘“In me own land.” I says, “‘t is only the social outcasts fall so low as politics. There’t is a hard, bitter business, an’ not the happy, devil-may-care game of chance it is in Allorzan. No, I have never in politics mingled,” I says, “I was afraid of gettin’ me fingers caught in the machine. But if it was a question of managin’ this overgrown menagerie an’ greenhouse,” I says, “if it came to helpin’ hold the reins of government over Allorzan,” I says, “I think I could win the heat an race.”

  “‘“In your country, glorious though strange,” he says, “there is a great man of whom I have heard. Secretary of the Interior is he called. Allorzan has no Secretary of the Interior. Leave out a few unspeakable swamps an’ some towns most desolate, and Allorzan has no interior. But that from the glory and honor of the office would detract I do not think. I therefore confirm you Secretary of the Interior of Allorzan, at a salary of four thousand pesos in the month.”

  “‘“Wise ruler of a mighty people,” I says, “friend of thy friends an’ rescuer of the oppressed,” I says, “thanks.” An’ after some conversation about me duties, I come away.

  “When the Knights of Pythias parade that was escortin’ me to the gate was half way down the drive, I heard a girl’s voice above me an’ looked up. In a second-story window I see a comic-opera chorus singer on a vacation. Whiter cheeks or blacker hair I’ve not met on me travels, an’ her eyes— ‘t was her eyes give me the first symptoms of our old family failin’ — heart trouble. One flash from them she sent me, an’ I stood stock-still, embarrassin’ the whole procession. Jimmy, did you ever look into a girl’s eyes that said, plainer than talkin’:— “You’ve been a long time comin’, me dear?”

  “‘I have not,’ I says, quite sharp-like, ‘t is a kind of wireless message I’ve not been on the lookout for. An’ if I was, I’d set up me receivin’ station in God’s own country.’

  “‘I felt I wanted to kiss her,’ Danny goes on, ‘though there was a cigarette between her lips. Who was she, do you think?’

  “‘She was Paquita Errada,’ I says, ‘niece of Marcos an’ daughter of Manuel Errada, who ran this republic some years ago. He was about the only President of Allorzan who died in office. Paquita’s the beauty of the Spanish Coast, an’ the pet of this hothouse country you scorn. An’ if I was you, I’d lie awake nights devisin’ ways an’ means of forgettin’ that I’d ever seen her.’

  “Danny sat lookin’ at the ammonia pipes for a few minutes. I could see the hard lines around his mouth twitchin’.

  “‘Jimmy,’ he says, at last, ‘the people here aint bubblin’ over with affection for President Errada, are they?’

  “‘Not to any great extent,’ I answers.

  “‘An’ Paquita’s father was popular, wasn’t he?’ he asks.

  “‘Died loved an’ respected by all who knew him, as the papers say,’ I told him.

  “Danny thought again.

  “‘I knew an Irishman once,’ he says, ‘met him in Manila. Afterwards he made himself President of just such a little pocket republic — as this is.’

  “‘Danny, you fool,’ I says.

  “‘Such eyes — like stars,’ says Danny.

  “The next day I was surprised an’ flattered by a visit from Senorita Errada herself. Very cute an’ pretty she was, with all the proud airs an’ flounces of the Spanish lady in the stories.

  “‘Of your wonderful drinks I have heard,’ she says to Estes, ‘I will have one ice-cream soda, strawberry flavor.’

  “While she was drinkin’ it O’Grady come in an’ she give him the misty eye over her glass. Danny took off his hat.

  “‘Senorita of the window,’ he says, ‘we have seen each other before.’

  “‘You are Senor O’Grady,’ she says, ‘and for the honor you have made my uncle, you have my thanks. The drink is very good,’ she goes on to Estes, though still lookin’ at O’Grady, ‘tomorrow I may wish another. Who knows?’

  “An’ with a flash an’ a swish, she went out. Danny stood gazin’ after her.

  “‘She’s royalty itself,’ he says, ‘an’ too good to drink her soda sittin’ on a revolvin’ stool, like a New York lady waitin’ for her change in a department store. If she comes again, she must be served at a private table behind that screen.’

  “‘I’ll start a roof garden for her benefit,’ I says, ‘if it’ll keep her comin’ here. With her as a customer, Mulacy’s Ice Cream Parlors will soon become the resort of Limona’s four hundred.’

  “Sure enough, the next day she come waltzin’ in. Estes served her behind the screen, while Danny sat beside her lookin’ into her eyes an’ smilin’, ‘till her white cheeks turned the color of the strawberry flavor in the glass.

  “‘You’ll scare her away,’ I says, but he didn’t. She come every day for a month. An’ though Danny was never slow at such work, l was a bit surprised when I started behind the screen one day with a strawberry soda Paqueta’d ordered an’ forgot, an’ saw her head on Danny’s shoulder. I coughed, but they didn’t hear me, an’ I went back to the fountain so excited I drunk the soda meself, though ‘t is a variety of liquid refreshment I’ve hated from the day of me birth. Soon the lovers come out. Paquita’s eyes were even brighter than usual, an’ her cheeks were wet. Danny looked as big an’ proud as though he’d just set Ireland free. At the screen-door, the work of me own hands, built to bar the bugs an’ insects of Limona from me parlors, they paused for good-byes. There, with the door held open between them, an’ the crowded atmosphere of the tropics whizzin’ in, they made farewell, while the little flies that was wise to the situation helped themselves, an’ then went out an’ invited in friends. At last I spoke — gentle an’ polite, but firm. Blushin’, they slammed the door. Danny sat down on a stool an’ began to study the names of flavors on the fizz fountain.

  “I’ve somethin’ on me mind,’ he says.

  “Take it off,’ I says, “t is too warm for a hat, anyhow.’

  “Your ‘re a fool,’ he says, an’ left me. “The next day he rushes into the ice factory with enunciations of joy.

  “The Palma leaves for New York at noon,’ he says, ‘an’ so do I.’

  “‘Glory be,’ I says, ‘an’ have you resigned from the Cabinet? Danny O’Grady, that I’ve known long an’ well, have you give up a graft like that?’

  “‘Nonsense,’ says Danny, ‘I’ve not quit. I’ve got a vacation. Me onerous an’ only duty of drawin’ me pay can wait ‘till I get back. I’ve business in the States. An’ I’m takin’ me trunk along — empty.

  “‘Danny,’ I says, ‘be careful. I almost wish the play’d end here.’

  “The ice-cream graft,’ says Danny, ‘has made you effeminate, an’ taken away your ambition. As for the play you mention, this is only the intermission between the acts. I’m go in’ to run out a minute for a drink. An’ when the curtain goes up again, you want to buy a seat in the front row. For you old friend O’Grady’s goin’ to turn out the hit of the piece.’

  “The populace gathered on the shore an’ wept to see Danny go. But he mounted an empty keg an’ cheered them with a few well-chosen words predictin’ his quick return.

  “When he did come back, two weeks later, the big trunk was carried to me livin’ rooms, by the niggers, as before. Once more Danny an’ I sat facin’ each other, an’ once more there was cause for talk an’ explanations. But I’d increased in wisdom durin’ the interval.

  “‘An’ whose face adorns the buttons now?’ I asks.

  “Danny takes a bit of celluloid from his pocket, an’ hands it to me. ‘T was the same as the Errada button, only on it there was a picture of a handsome lad, an’ underneath, in black letters, ‘DANIEL O’GRADY.’

  “‘I left off two words,’ says Danny, ‘I had to. In the land of the free an’ the home of the boss, I could have put them in. But here we have to be more secretive concernin’ our hopes an’ aspirations. So I left “For President” off.’

  “‘O’Grady,’ I says, solemn-like, you ‘re takin’ a risk — a big risk. These people aint your color an’ blood. They may carry your banners an’ drink your beer now, but how do you know that when you blow the whistle for the great hand-to-hand struggle, they’ll love you in the same old way? As in the States,’ I says, ‘red fire is cheap, but votes come high.’

 

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